Today, I managed to get Mac up to our apartment to try to give him some breakfast and coffee before I left for Church. It wasn't such a success, he was not hungry, (even though he has been having some food and coffee lately). He was not really happy to be awake, and was not a happy camper. Then it was with some coaxing on my part to get him to go back down to the 2nd floor so I could leave for church.
If I think I'm going to be gone for longer than two hours, I do have his caregivers, but really I can leave him with the preposees and the nurse on the second flor . Actually, I can do that all the time, but somehow I'm never too keen. There are 3 prepossees and a nurse for about 21 people there. They (the preposees) are often in and out of the rooms and it looks like no one is watching the clients or patients, who are usually congregated in the solarium area.
In any case when I was at church, my friend there, (her husband also has the big A), reminded me that it is important to get used to leaving him. This for my sake as well as his, both of us have to get used to the separation, and it's actually not so much for him as for me. She only goes to the residence where her husband is twice a week. Apparently I'm the one who must let go, and have more of a life. Many of the people at church were planning to go to have lunch at the Legion for Rememberance Day, she suggested I go with them as well. So I bit the bullet and said I would go. After church when the groups were getting together to leave, I backed down.
I couldn't explain it but, I felt Mac needed me and so that was it..I couldn't join them. When I returned home I thought - Jan you are not so special and he is probably fine, so just get your act together and get the warm clothes from the basement locker and then go to Mac. At least I'd be doing something worthwhile and I wouldn't be too far away from him, but somehow I couldn't relax I did get the clothes, threw them on the bed, and raced down to the 2nd floor...There was Mac looking quite content with some others in the solarium. I sat beside him and said, Hi, how are you? He answered "not very well".. Well what is it are you feeling sick? He said, my stomach doesn't feel good. "Need to go to the bathroom?" "YES
-that's it he said. With that I took him to his room and into the adjoining bathroom.
Now that he is eating, of course it's natural he has to have a bowel movement...so I told the nurse, where he was - She said, let the preposee get him. I said, no it's o.k. I'll manage, he is sitting on the toilet, but I need a wash cloth etc. So the preposee came along and gave me the necessary stuff.
Well, once he was washed, cleaned up, etc...I had him brush his teeth, wash his face and hands - brushed his hair, and he was just so appreciative. Gave me such a hug and kiss, said, "I love you, - you are a hero!!" Well how about that..."I said well no it's good that you ask to go to the bathroom and I just helped". He said, "no way you are a Hero.. You really are."
Am I glad I listened to the little voice in my head? darn right. All the accolades I get for helping Mac, are nothing compared to hearing how much he appreciates me and that's the most wonderful thanks anyone could get. So this hero will say goodbye for today, who knows what will happen tomorrow, most of the time heroes are only for a day!..so goodbye.
You certainly are a hero, Jan!
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