I really can't give any names, but I'm not able to sleep thinking of one of the residents who is feeling so upset.. She said, it's not right...and really I don't think it's right either, but I don't know how to change it, and it's really none of my business.
She is living here because she needs help, she has problems walking, partially blind as well as other problems, but her mind is still good and she has a great sense of humour. It's really fun to visit with her and I try to visit about once a week.
This time though her humour was sarcastic and although funny it was bitter, her children have decided her husband should no longer live on his own, he is really not that well, and though he is well over ninety, walks well and has a good mind, he is getting weaker and they are concerned. He still lives in the house and visits his wife here, and does not really want to move. But he does realize it is time. This is the part that my friend feels it's not right..his children want him to move to a small place, and not here.
He has accepted this apparently, and although she knows that they never got along that well, she feels he should live in an apartment in this residence so he can continue to visit her and she could visit him. Their children think otherwise, telling her, they always argue, don't get along, and so therefore, it doesn't matter that he lives in another place.
Separation is part of our lives as we get old..either through sickness, and in most cases, death..It's always terrible, and we know it will happen to every couple, but when it is imposed on the couple by others somehow, I don't think it's right either.
Bickering and outright arguments are for some couples part of their lives. I can remember my own kids telling Mac and I to stop bickering, I know my friend has told me she heard us or me, really yelling at Mac. Now I hear other couples do this when I'm with friends or family, and I know it's not crucial, they still love each other. I'm sure the couple would take it very insulting and completely unacceptable to be told they have to live separately. No matter what age the couple are I think they should make that decision for themselves
Well I don't know what the outcome of all this is going to be, but as my friend says, It's not right, and I agree...but sad to say I can't do anything but say to my friend, well, maybe things will turn out for the best once he is moved, he will perhaps not like the place and your children will agree with you and move him here. That of course is not the answer she wants to hear..but it looks like that's the way it will have to be as I notice as one gets really old and fragile, others take complete control...hmmm..
so far it's not happening to me, but then my separation has already happened naturally, it sure isn't right for me, but I must face the fact, my Mac is never coming back. We bickered, we argued, but we sure did love each other and I have to keep on living, so I'm going to make sure I have my wits about me.
I'm going to live as well as I can, to enjoy my days knowing that one day we will be together again, or who knows, maybe not, no one really knows ...but it's something couples should think about before they get too old to handle their own lives, don't bicker or argue so much that your kids think it's better for you to be apart, make sure you both are the ones to make that decision for yourselves. Make sure to love each other to the end, as then parting is a "sweet sorrow".
g'nite.
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