April 30, 2014 Get my coat ..i need my coat.......

Well  those were the words that were the most important to mac last night I'll just copy and paste from two emails i was writing..the first.last night and now todays ....as right now all is well mac is  directing the orchestra with his head and feet  ...just to say all is well now..but this is last night;.

first to my cousin, and the second today to my friend...

 thanks so much for the pics, you all look super, and super happy as well...living well and healthy so good.on all of you and especially on your dad..what a fantastic man, but he definitely better start to move around  even if it's just around his many acres of pathways...

 Funny thing ';;just as i typed that...a not so funny thing happened...mac got very agitated, he had been sitting happily listening to jazz when he decided he must must have his coat and go out to see his mother..people were waiting for me  he was saying over and over...i have to go home...i said, this is home and you can't go out it's cold and going to be dark...well no getting him to stop, and then he became really up tight and yelling, so i said, let's go downstairs and see what the weather and the night is like, - it was still light - but of course sundown already, well we got down, but no he was in the lobby, and yelling and telling me i was a liar....so the receptionist tried to reason with him, then the head nurse (male) tried to say wait 20 min i'll take you out...he did, but then mac didn't want the man with him..and was yelling out front..and came back in, then 2 nurses tried to give him a pill..no way,  they brought him back to our apt. he settled down, but really furiously, petting the cat....i came in and he went over his misery and why....i called Gaye so he could vent with her, she is good at calming him...and she did..thank god...  she said she would come over and get to the bottom of things for him...and he then said, no it's o.k. wait, it will be o.k.   well now i'm going to get off this email and use it for my blog...sorry....and

i will think of what struck me so funny and write another email maybe tomorrow...

 

this is today's email

 

i'm missing you and hoping that all goes well with your  parents...remember the help is the most important thing...i'm writing quickly as yesterday, mac and i took our long long walk, and then silly me decided to also do my grocery order ...too much for mac, i think, and although he was fine on the way home, by after dinner he decided he had to see his mom, and life became unbearable, as not only was he climbing the walls, but i had overdone myself  in the walk process we sit where we can, and a couple of times pulling him up from sitting, i strained my left ankle and back...now i'm hobbling around like an old crone...so sitting with my leg up,

luckily mac is fine this a.m. after i got his special pill in him before bedtime...he absoolutely would not take anything from the nurses who wanted him on meds when he went kind of beserk last evening...but they managed to strong-arm him back to the apt. and thankfully the cat distracted him - he stopped and petted the cat and calmed down enough to do the usual bedtime procedures...brush teeth ...wash..and the preposee got him in p.j.s and i got him into bed.  so remember...it's the help your dad needs the most...

the first email was about my cousin's dad who is over 90 and fine, the second to my good friend whose mom has the big A....now i'll put my feet up and ice on my ankle...there are no accidents'  i must  take care  -bye. 

 

 

April 24,2014 Who are you???

I wanted to get this in tonight as i may forget, but late this afternoon  we were going for some last minute groceries and as I had  picked up some items before hand at the pharmacy..i had Mac sit on the bench in the grocery store and hold on to the items from the pharmacy...he then waited there while i got the 4 items -Mac is  usually is fine with that..as when there are so many people in the store he gets disoriented trying to get through the rows with me pushing the cart.  Don't know if it was because it was cloudy and getting on for that time of the day when he may - or may not  - get the sundown syndrome...but this is what he said when i came up to him, ' Who ARE YOU  ...in fact i had been waving to him from the line up at the cash and he had been waving back, so that really took me by surprise.

He didn't want to give me the pharmacy items....and asked me about three times - WHO ARE YOU??  I answered I'm janet....He said - well where is that man that told me to wait here....I said - what man, we were just you and I....??   (kind of made me nervous thinking some man may have said that to be kind or something)...he said no - I think it's your father - whee is your father...So i said look, give me the parcels, and we'll walk and talk about that...

He continued to say, well where is your father...I said, well I guess if he was there he has gone home now...luckily we were right close to our apartment building, and we were there within five minutes...when we came in i was able to distract him from that subject by saying...there is Elena (the girl in the Welcome office booth) she was waving to him..."Hello mr. Mac", so that was good.  but he still was wondering about that man when we got in the apartment, but finally after talkling about other things, like where should I put these groceries...and darn i forgot to buy gingerale for you ...and that kind of thing...the subject of my father disappeared...

But it was interesting, as he was not going to let me have the package he was holding on to, until i said my name is janet...and oh yes, later he said....o.k. now what's your last name...well saying McConnell seemed to cinch it...I said the right password...yippee - he was not so agitated and calmed down......

Now he is happily listening to jazz - we have visited our neighbour and said good night , said goodnight to the preposee, and so I'll say g'nite too.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014 I have no money.....

The common lament of Mac's, "i have no money", hasn't been an issue for quite some time, but when i asked him before dinner tonight....'hey why the furrowed brow...that was the answer   "i'm worried, i have no money"...Well we went through all our lines, where I show him his wallet, which has money, has his bank card, and show him his statements...then he can look out the window and see his bank...explain  how he came to  have money  i.e. pension...where he worked...this we went through for about 3 times, till finally he agreed to the facts and then said "o.k. i'm not so badly off...that's great"  proceeded to enjoy his dinner, dessert, and then our usual walk around our building, ending with our goodnight to our neighbour downstairs...his usual talk with the preposee while she get's him ready for bed...and now  he is quite content...hope - as never know what happens during the night...when he dreams and then walks and talks in his dream...I was up half the night on and off a couple of nights ago...convincing him that what he had to get out for would have to wait till the sun came out...certainly 3;00 a.m. wasn't a good time...

Received an email from an old buddy now living in the u.s.  asking me how it goes with Mac these days..well this was my reply;-

nice to hear from you Jean,  .we are still getting along in our new digs here in lachine, it's been a year now -still walking evrywhere and enjoying it..especially now with the better weather ...thankfully...mac is o.k. but as you know has Alzheimer's so it's a challenge every day to make sure he is able to walk,(especially, when it's a wet day like today) as walking as well as listening to music are his only activities, other than helping with drying dishes and taking clothes to the laundry room...also of course chatting - although this is at times difficult as he get's an idea and then has trouble to elucidate just what he wants to say...not always, but it's surely not easy for him...i wish he took an interest in t.v. but his hearing is not the greatest and he doesn't want to wear his earphones or hearing aids...so t.v. is an on again off again ...depending on the show...and how great his interest is in whatever is being shown...he used to be a news buff, but no longer.

 An example of our walking - we went to Church on Easter Sunday..finished at 12;00 .and then walked all over the place, -  to  beautiful lasalle park 10th ave..from macdonald ave to St.lAntoine then .  stopping for rests at different points the lachine market, then at the canal, and then on to the lake all the way  to 39th ave. and fnally back to our place on 32nd....the weather was spectacular....the five hours seemed to disappear in a gorgeous haze, we just love the ambiance...drink milkshakes, mac loves to have a hot dog  and so it goes...

 When we were at back our place I said, you must be half asleep, no not at all, just three quarters, says mac.. ha..

So that's life in the fast lane....bye for now...jan.

 

 

 

 

And so it goes...that's our kind of life these days.....yours sounds good too...so keep up your good activities, it's great for the brain and your health...bye for now...janxx

Thursday, April 17, 2017 Just thinking about last night....

Whenever i see mac's brow furrowed, it means he is trying to think of something that eludes him...and that's what he said when i asked him this evening - 'hey mac, why the furrowed brow///  - Well i'm just thinking about last night..did I go off to sleep right after supper, i can't remember??  That's no surprise, as he has trouble remembering what he did today, let alone last night after supper....So I replied, no  you didn't go off to bed after supper - in fact, we went to Gaye's home for Robin's birthday dinner , and then when we returned home,  you had the usual night of the preposee coming to get  you into  your p.j.s and ready for bed.  'oh, said Mac,  that's what i did...

That's a first for him to wonder about last night - i often wonder how he feels about his memory loss, but on the whole he hardly mention it he copes and when all else fails - that is, when he simply can't think too much about something he usually says, well that was really long ago...and therefore is able to consign whatever to kind of not worth thinking about - too long ago...He often has thoughts that he wants to express but can't...and manages to laugh and say, 'oh to hell with it'...or make some kind of goofy signs, with his hands, laugh and then move on, a kind of  coping mechanism.....as long as we... walk - talk, and have some destination ..or simple chore - i.e. doing dishes, laundry, listen to  and talk about music he seems to really be content..

Some really sad events do not seem to penetrate, today for instance one of the residents died - we saw two men wheeling the person covered over from head to toe with a black cloth...being wheeled out on a gurney, later while we were waiting for the para transport to take us to the Doctor's office...we saw the daughter of the woman the husband and the son of the woman  - who  had died - being comforted by some of the residents and staff who knew the woman.  It was very touching and the whole scene went over mac's head - he didn't connect or understand, but was wrapped in his own thoughts...absolutely no comment to my saying  how sad it was for the family and for us to see this. 

Yet when we were walking in Westmount park after our appointment he would point to some little child, baby or children nearby ... 'look at him or her...and chuckle.  wave to the baby..and really enjoy gettng a response of a smile or a little wave..I'm never sure what will cause him to notice one child, or one item over another...In the greenhouse (Westmount conservatory) the Easter show of flowers was spectacular...In the past Mac would be just lapping it up, mentioning the names of the flowers etc..today he said, I'll look after our clothes, you go ahead and look around,  I had to drag him to see the sweet little rabbits, but the little girl who ran by us - and waved to him - made his day.

Definitely i know what makes my day, having Mac with me, but it takes some patience and energy, so I'd better get to bed.   g'nite



So what caused him to wonder about last night...who knows...the brain is a real mystery, and particularly his brain

Wednesday, April 9, 2014.....A boy and a girl.....

not sure if this is going to work i tried it before but missed the hTml so we'll see this is what mac said when we were making the Virtual memory box...liz the coordinator of the Virtual memory Box program at Atwater library....showed him the picture of him and myself....we were teenagers..it was my high school grad night...we were at normandy roof...if you can get the link which i pasted above you should see the movie we made.it is on youtube, but don't know if i did this correctly, hmm. tried before but it didn't work...have to check this out with liz.

in the meantime try it...

Monday, April 7, 2014 You are dreaming....

Well want to get this in before i forget, that's what mac said when i told him why we are both so tired this morning...you are dreaming....Well he was dreaming, dreaming we were on a boat or a train and he had to get off....this has been going on for the past three nights...yuck....no sleep till about one a.m. 

When i got on my emails this morning, one of my blog readers sent me an email  comment, that he thought the Teapot, was an excellent place..and so it is..but I seldom check what I wrote and wondered o.k. so what did i write about the Teapot,  decided to check it out...oh yes good what i wrote is true - and what the heck, seems that two of my paragraphs got switched to the end...after I said g'nite...oh well..it goes with the way both mac and I feel this a.m.  TIRED.

I also noted that we seemed to be so contented...well it seems we're always  so contented and boom, we are into a kind of surreal experience at night...should just not mention when things are going well..and not be so quick to think o.k. we're on a great plateau here...ha. In fact, I didn't mention or maybe i did,  that I have some pills prescribed for times when mac is agitated before bed, so that he sleeps well...I gave him one, or tried to when he was agitated a couple f weeks ago,  and he just spit it on the floor, so that didn't work, ...so the next time I noted that he was not a happy camper before bedtime, i managed to give it to him with his usual pill and the night was great...for BOTH of us...so went online to check this pill out..it is Risperdal...yikes..there was a big warning...not to give this pill to Elderly Dementia patients  - hello - that is precisely what Mac is for heaven's sake...

So time to check this out with the doc, so I did...Dr. Borad our doc here, said, "no worry the amount prescribed is fine, and i should definitely use it - especially if i want to sleep."..  but didn't feel good about it, and the warning is in a kind of a square which dances through my head, ....can cause death !!!!....so didn't use it..and wondered what the heck is wrong with adtivan, or some pill like that, didn't think to ask...So today we are going for a walk, (what's new) and I will check this out with the pharmacist....as I do want to sleep...and for sure i wish i were dreaming, that mac was walking around and talking about going out...from eleven to god knows what time in the morning.

On a good note, we did have such a good evenings the past couple and he was so happy to talk about playing lacrosse, he actually pretended to have a lacrosse stick and jumped to catch the ball swung himself around and said "pop into the net." discussed hockey with our downstairs neighbour, muriel, - she asked if he knew the Harvey family...also Gump Worsley...well turns out he remembered Doug Harvey,(Canadiens hockey player of old)...and went on to talk about  the days at the forum...how if a player had a stick that was cracked he (Mac) was there with a good one - the player just threw the old one down - Mac had the new one in the players hand so quickly, picked up the useless one, which really at times was o.k. - what a great time he had talking about those days.how he himself played for RCA Victor ..so with that in mind, i'm going to have a good day today...thinking positive really works... so bye now...

Friday, April 4, 2014 Well about time.....

Today was one of our busy ones, picking up our meds at the Pharmacy, walking from there to the Teapot...where mac had his feet done, usually he hates this, but it went well...and Anne the woman who does his feet was her cheery self.  Such a pleasure, i can't say enough about the good work and kindness of the people at The Teapot..She compliments him for the right reasons,  i can't think of what she said that was so perfect, but he was a happy camper when we left there.



This is one of the many good reasons to be where we are...and that is The Teapot, the lunches where we join others - all the people are  friendly..the trips for our groceries when we can't trudge through the snow...they have a little bus..that will take us...this same bus and the friendly driver Frank takes groups to special places..plus they have a woman's group which i can join on some of my respite days...and of course the fact that it is right on the lake...how terrific that is...

So when we went for groceries after the Teapot.....and finally arrived  home, mac said, 'Well about time"...as we walked in the front door.  I'm always so happy that he feels that way, that he is content - this is the way I feel too, we've been here a year, and in that time, i've noticed more and more that he is exactly what we are ...content. 

Friday is the day we start off with seeing Richard the guitar guy...he plays and sings...from 9;30 a.m. to 10;30...and when we stroll in Richard always has a song for Mac, he knows mac likes jazz..and so he'll sing Sweet Lorraine, or Do nothing till you hear from me...talk about who wrote the song...and now we've been bringing our neighbour Rene, a man from normandy in France..and it was  wonderful to see him light up and sing the beautiful French song about the Bridges in paris...with Richard.  in fact he sung along with most of the songs...and said he loved 'i could have danced all night..' telling me ' that's from My Fair Lady.

.

Mac just called out , 'the light is on so you can come to bed...well ok i"m on my way'...though i wanted to mention how different Mac is from the man Glenna and i watched on an old home movie yesterday..there he was swimming in the pool with the grandkids, laughing, strong, handsome and full of fun...playing the game Marco Polo, and trying to catch us...well he is still that man...still there for us...maybe not so strong, but still handsome and still fun to be with...even though he's not quite sure, who we are...we sure know who he is and that's what counts...g'nite...

.I don't know this neighbour well except that I know he went to paris last summer, and that he is always alone, reads a magazine or a book while he eats his meals, but has a pleasant smile for everyone before he sits down.  Always wears an apron for his meals, with the salt and pepper shaker  in his apron pocket...

We are always sad to hear of the ones who are sick, or are no longer with us, but there are the ones who are in fairly good health...and he for sure seems to be doing okay.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014 That guy was talking to me....

As I have mentioned before, Mac often gets the gender of people mixed up... in fact most of the time he thinks the preposees are male rather than female.  Possibly because many of the preposees wear their hair pulled back in pony tail or a braid..but then again, I've heard him say that about someone with long hair, so really I'm not sure - in any case tonight when I was trying to watch "The Big Bang' on a dvd...he kept interrupting...saying - where do I go to bed...Where is that guy...so i decided that's it...no show for me.. I haven't watched any t.v. in weeks, and although i've watched about 4 episodes of The Big Bang on dvd...that's the limit, as he does not have any interest...I try to get him to at least watch the news..but no way...so short youtube videos about animals, and sometimes on the national Geographic channel, although last episode was about a month ago - Birds..he usesd to be so keen..but not that night.

So, when I turned off "TheBig Bang.."   he referred again to the guy...and said 'hey that guy was talking to me and you were not letting him talk to ME// Then i realized he meant the preposee - it was true, Stephanie our preposee at night, was telling me that she intends to go back to school.  We then started to discuss what courses she would take...while i was giving her his p.j.s and she was preparing him for bed...so her chat with him tonight was really brief..His brow was all furrowed and he was really angry..I felt so bad as it is really the second time he pointed something of this nature in two days...

Yesterday Les, took us out for lunch at the St. James Club..and although Mac sat between us - and we did talk to him about the food, what choices etc...we tended to just natter away to each other assuming mac was listening.  but sad to say, he turned to us and said,  You know, all that time you were talking, i didn't understand anything..."this when we were just about leaving...  Well he also has poor hearing, and both les and I have low voices so that was another problem...so we both tried to be more accomodating to mac..But in a way this is so sad, but in another way it's good, as he is asserting himself rather than just tuning out.  Sometimes, in the past when i have tried to include him, he says, it's o.k. I'm not interested, or he tunes out and doesn't respond...then again there is the other point he does like my complete attention...and even as I'm typing this, I am aware that at any moment, he will come out of the bedroom and say, where is Janet..or what's happening.

We had an old friend Dorothy, join us at lunch today, and perhaps we didn't pay too much attention to him, although, she pointed out various things to him regarding when we used to live near each other in Chateauguay but he really didn't respond..although he seemed happy enough .  She also said to him at least 4 or 5 times..that he always says before a meal that he is not hungry  then he eats every last morsel on his plate...which is so true, but he just ignored that;  thankfully, as i don't want him to stop eating, that's for sure.

Going out for a walk after she left...he was a happy camper. waving to all as we left and again when he returned so i guess he just needs more attention...have to check that out and make sure I don't take the time he has with his favorite preposee away...it must be hard enough not knowing who is who and if the person is  a man or a woman, so tomorrow he will have a surprise as she is his preposee in the morning which is rare...i'll stay away and let him enjoy... so now it's g'nite.