Whenever i see mac's brow furrowed, it means he is trying to think of something that eludes him...and that's what he said when i asked him this evening - 'hey mac, why the furrowed brow/// - Well i'm just thinking about last night..did I go off to sleep right after supper, i can't remember?? That's no surprise, as he has trouble remembering what he did today, let alone last night after supper....So I replied, no you didn't go off to bed after supper - in fact, we went to Gaye's home for Robin's birthday dinner , and then when we returned home, you had the usual night of the preposee coming to get you into your p.j.s and ready for bed. 'oh, said Mac, that's what i did...
That's a first for him to wonder about last night - i often wonder how he feels about his memory loss, but on the whole he hardly mention it he copes and when all else fails - that is, when he simply can't think too much about something he usually says, well that was really long ago...and therefore is able to consign whatever to kind of not worth thinking about - too long ago...He often has thoughts that he wants to express but can't...and manages to laugh and say, 'oh to hell with it'...or make some kind of goofy signs, with his hands, laugh and then move on, a kind of coping mechanism.....as long as we... walk - talk, and have some destination ..or simple chore - i.e. doing dishes, laundry, listen to and talk about music he seems to really be content..
Some really sad events do not seem to penetrate, today for instance one of the residents died - we saw two men wheeling the person covered over from head to toe with a black cloth...being wheeled out on a gurney, later while we were waiting for the para transport to take us to the Doctor's office...we saw the daughter of the woman the husband and the son of the woman - who had died - being comforted by some of the residents and staff who knew the woman. It was very touching and the whole scene went over mac's head - he didn't connect or understand, but was wrapped in his own thoughts...absolutely no comment to my saying how sad it was for the family and for us to see this.
Yet when we were walking in Westmount park after our appointment he would point to some little child, baby or children nearby ... 'look at him or her...and chuckle. wave to the baby..and really enjoy gettng a response of a smile or a little wave..I'm never sure what will cause him to notice one child, or one item over another...In the greenhouse (Westmount conservatory) the Easter show of flowers was spectacular...In the past Mac would be just lapping it up, mentioning the names of the flowers etc..today he said, I'll look after our clothes, you go ahead and look around, I had to drag him to see the sweet little rabbits, but the little girl who ran by us - and waved to him - made his day.
Definitely i know what makes my day, having Mac with me, but it takes some patience and energy, so I'd better get to bed. g'nite
So what caused him to wonder about last night...who knows...the brain is a real mystery, and particularly his brain
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