So many reasons to be sad for so many people, and here I am still wailing, it is going to be one month tomorrow that my sweet Mac swayed and tapped his feet, lay down and died. am still wailing and crying, of course as we get ready for the celebration of Mac's life on Saturday
Yet, Canada's CAF's bombed a target in Syria, wonder who died there and who is crying there. Mac and I used to walk in marches against wars, but there doesn't seem to be the same push ..both the Liberal and the NDP voted against this as the Harper govt had no long term strategy for the campaign against extremists, but there we are doing a killing from the sky..I can go on and on, but won't. Do I ever wish I could discuss this with the man I loved. Even at the end I couldn't really discuss this but for sure he would say, killing in war or peace is murder.
Today was sad in other ways as one of my friends here in the residence fell and broke her wrist, and it looks like maybe her hip too. I went down to the second floor to help her husband as he has a form of dementia and is wondering what happened - where is his wife, when is she coming back. Thankfully she had placed him there for a couple of weeks, so she could have some rest, but looks like she isn't going to have a good rest in the hospital as she is in such pain, and as Kurt Vonnegut used to say in his books, "and so it goes"...
I'm trying to be up beat, ha. Last Tuesday, my good friend Dorothy died, we were to get together Wednesday...so really it really sucks as the kids say...
Okay, here is a good happening. Two weeks ago Tuesday, I was in my Yoga class, it was the end of the session where we lie on our mats in shevastena not sure how one says or spells that/ That part is lovely we just rest on our backs, with our hands at our sides rest and clear our minds..When guess what! I opened my eyes and there was Mac's face right above mine. He was resting on his elbows, his face about 3 inches from mine his blue eyes twinkling in a kind of sexy way. I said - quietly - Hey Mac, what do you think you're doing? then I kind of giggled I was so happy, then he faded away. Quiet tears rolled down the sides of my face into my hair..when the yoga teacher surprised me by wiping the tears, she massaged my face and head, then she got up told everyone to open their eyes turn over and sit up.
Have not had this lovely experience since anywhere..but the memory is there, and I love the memory..so g'nite happy dreams.
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