I'm just responsible for myself these days - it seems so unreal, to be able to go out and not have a deadline, that is a time I must get back so that the person staying with Mac would be free to leave. I realize now that I had never really relaxed. For example, during the relaxing posture in yoga, at the end of class - I would be wondering about Mac, thinking constantly, which is a real no no One is supposed to try to be on a true level of relaxation. Relaxing was never part of my life in the past eight or nine years, my thoughts were always busy. So now that he is gone, this should be one area, where I should be gaining some benefit. So far it's not happening, but maybe one day.
Last week had a manicure, or a mani -pedi..who knew what that was, I sure didn't, but a group of my friends and I went to a spa recently. What a pleasure, and the mani part of the business is to have your fingernails cleaned; actually done meticulously by the manicurist, plus a hand and arm massage. Wow, what a job she did, believe it or not, that part took at least an hour..the pedi part was feet and kind of lower leg massage and of course toenails all done to perfection.
While this was being done by a lovely manicurist, beautiful music played softly in the background. Suddenly her head perked up. She said - there is "our song". I said, your song??? She replied it's our song the song played for the dance at our wedding. Well I didn't recognize the song, she said it's Elle, or She. Well I said, I'll have to get it on youtube and listen. As I spoke I noticed how her eyes lit up and how happy she looked. I said - how long have you been married. Twelve years she answered, that is quite a record these days. I didn't inform her that we would have been married sixty-three years in June. Anyway, it was the music I was interested in, she made me remember "our song".
Music that wonderful part of our life, it was 1948-49 - I think - on the lakeshore - Dorval Pine Beach where I first met Mac..the music that we listened and danced to at the hotel across from the beach, and even in King's restaurant there, was Boogie and Glenn Miller's, In the Mood. The Boogie was Albert Ammons - Shout for Joy.
In those days many of the kids that were going steady had "their song", although when we first met we didn't have a special song, until we broke up and then went steady again. This happened a few times, so one particular song became "our song" which was so appropriate it was
"I'll Never say Never" If all my lessons were taught to me through music, I would remember everything, as I can remember words to songs ...and these were the words to our song.:-
I'll never say never - never again, cause here I am in love again, head over heels in love again with you
I'll never say never kiss you again cause here I am kissing you again, that's just the thing I said I"d never do
I walked away and said goodbye, I was hasty wasn't I ...I missed you so I thought I'd die, but it's all over now throw my hat in the sky ..
.I'll never say never again, again, cause here I am in love again, head over heels in love again with the same sweet you.
and so our ups and downs in love were recorded in the music of the day...
What would cause our breakups...I think it's natural as we were so young,15 and 18 and really did not know our own minds...probably most of the breakups were because of boredom with each other, or perhaps another guy in my case) looked hmmm, or another girl in Mac's case. Though neither of us ever said so..It was usually Mac who would be he dumper as they say and I was the dumpee, but as a dumpee I soon got back in the swing of things, then Mac would come along and get us back together.
Our final and last break up and get together happened when we met quite by chance, at Plateau Hall, There was Ella Fitzgerald - singing with Norman Granz's Jazz at the Philharmonic. both Mac and I were in the audience - and surprise he was in front of us, he with his pal Bud Lawrence, I with my friend Helen Langlois, he turned to me and raised his eyebrows and as Ella sang
"Missed the Saturday dance, heard they crowded the floor, Awfully different without you Don't Get around Much anymore.
he said....."I missed you, I didn't go to the dance."
So from that moment on we were back together, and in the words of the song ..... happier than before, and all we could do is promise for ever more to never say never, never again...coz there we were in love again....
now he is gone, I miss him so.... how I wish we could get back together... .. g'nite
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