We said our goodbyes - Mac's ashes were buried up north at our cottage on the lake...Saturday August 22, 2015. I'm just going to write here the lovely words that our granddaughter, Rosemary said and following her words and mine, each person in the family put some earth over the ashes and so life goes on....
Rosemary's Eulogy
Here's to you Granmac-Mac-Gordon-Sonny Boy
to your gleeful days running obliviously along cars in St. Henri parades
teasing, charming and running with the boys
to your days at the beach and dancing nights with your future wife
a girl in distressed waters - bathing suit ripped
a laugh in the theater - both on different dates
oh the games
you and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what I know of you then.
Here's to you Granmac - Mac - Gordon Sonny boy
father of five
who was REALLY there and who would be forever if you could be.
Strategically placing marbles on the foot of a child's bed
doubling daughters on bikes,
Everybody's man.
This is only some of what I know of you then.
MY memories:
dancing-faces-bouncing a bearded man making a great hullaballoo
parading in singing line up the stairs singing put to bed,
on the dock at the lake I was grumpy, I was 2 or 3,
Don't be grumpy with granmac they told me.
"It's ok. Just let her be" you say chuckling eyes on me still twinkling
We're left together there as we sit in silence, water lapping
and we let each other be, No forced conversation.
You always let me be.
Car rides in the double O seven and hard white mints
mornings up North bright and early, I could hear you in the living room, next to the hearth
phumph! phumph! phumph!
You got the fire going first thing and then the coffee
Then crosswords in the sunroom
In the morning light we would watch the blue jays on the feeding line
and laugh at the chipmunks and squirrels attempting to do the same.
Later we would go to the shed and get some whole peanuts to offer up to Chippy who bit you once.
but you laughed about it and forgave him
You came ferociously around the bend of the cottage,-angry bushman "Who broke the oar!? You roared. The boys scattered and I froze. Wildly looking about eyebrows furrowed and entangled.
defeated tromping back off into the woods grumbling under your breath
(what a moment)
Batting bees out of my hair with great purpose.
An impressive temper, but also an impressive capacity for all emotions
Being secretive, I hid in the back seat of our car parked in the woods. Your moment with your son, Where you collapsed on his shoulder when your sister died. I peered and didn't make a sound until the two of you were gone
That moment in the woods, Those moments in the woods,
You and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what you were to me
Here's to you
forever you will be.
Beautiful words from a beautiful granddaughter. g'nite
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
Wednesday, 19 August 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2019 Don't know if these blogs....
I'm wondering if these blogs that I've been writing are helping anyone else other than me, but I do think the words are uplifting. Here is another poem enclosed in a sympathy card...
The setting of the Sun
The glory of the setting sun
that paints the evening sky
Reminds the heart
that life holds so much more
than meets the eye
And like the golden sunset
When a loved one leaves this earth
Each tear that falls reminds us
just how much life is worth
For in our hearts the golden glow
of memory shines bright
spreading hope and comfort
through the shadows of the night
And in this way your heart may find
the strength to see you through
In cherishing the memories
that mean so much to you.
This was from Audrey, I think of the time it took her and all the other friends and relatives, to buy a card and look for the words that mean so much to the receiver (myself and family) and then to add a poem or a personal letter, it's, well it's so appreciated..maybe some readers may do the same for others. I will certainly try to do that too..even a short one like the following....
An Olde Irish Wish
May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you
And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love
I know that the Irish seem to love sending these blessings and wishes, as for Mac his love of poetry came from William Blake and Yeats - too bad I didn't save his books, when we moved there were just too many and I went beserk with packing and sent them all off, now I do regret that I didn't save the poetry,,but then of courses there is Google..can always find those poems.
We love Irish poetry and especially the music. In memory I can still see Mac with a tear in his eye when a tour bus driver stopped the bus in a park in Belfast, talked about the troubles, and then said, but this song though it isn't even Irish is as Irish as it gets and then went on to sing Danny Boy....Must look on google to see just who did write that song...wow that really did it to Mac, and what a voice the bus driver had..just wonderful..well I'm going to check it out. g'nite
The setting of the Sun
The glory of the setting sun
that paints the evening sky
Reminds the heart
that life holds so much more
than meets the eye
And like the golden sunset
When a loved one leaves this earth
Each tear that falls reminds us
just how much life is worth
For in our hearts the golden glow
of memory shines bright
spreading hope and comfort
through the shadows of the night
And in this way your heart may find
the strength to see you through
In cherishing the memories
that mean so much to you.
This was from Audrey, I think of the time it took her and all the other friends and relatives, to buy a card and look for the words that mean so much to the receiver (myself and family) and then to add a poem or a personal letter, it's, well it's so appreciated..maybe some readers may do the same for others. I will certainly try to do that too..even a short one like the following....
An Olde Irish Wish
May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you
And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love
I know that the Irish seem to love sending these blessings and wishes, as for Mac his love of poetry came from William Blake and Yeats - too bad I didn't save his books, when we moved there were just too many and I went beserk with packing and sent them all off, now I do regret that I didn't save the poetry,,but then of courses there is Google..can always find those poems.
We love Irish poetry and especially the music. In memory I can still see Mac with a tear in his eye when a tour bus driver stopped the bus in a park in Belfast, talked about the troubles, and then said, but this song though it isn't even Irish is as Irish as it gets and then went on to sing Danny Boy....Must look on google to see just who did write that song...wow that really did it to Mac, and what a voice the bus driver had..just wonderful..well I'm going to check it out. g'nite
Monday, 17 August 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015 Comforting words.....
Well another few thank-you cards to the many friends who donated to the big A Society in Mac's memory, as well as to those who I did not or was unable to thank personally...and for those I have lost their address, I hope they read this. Thanks again - I am now able to read the cards and they are terrific, thanks for all the comforting words.
Thanks to Kathy for this one
Beannacht
(Blessing)
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble
may the clay dance
to balance you
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you
may a flock of colours
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight
When the canvas frays
in the coracle of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours.
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours
and so may a slow
wind work these words,
of love around you
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
this lovely poem was written by the Irish poet John O'Donahue upon the death of his mother. and as Kathy says she finds it comforting, and reassuring, certainly very Celtic
A coracle is a small boat made of canvas common in old days in Ireland, Scotand and Wales. I think O'Donahue is referring to it's fragility.
Kathy goes on to say you can hear this poet read on you tube. He died much too soon in 2008, but his writings are rich treasures that live on - and as K. saiys much like my memories of Mac
Thanks Kathy ...and Love. g'nite.
Thanks to Kathy for this one
Beannacht
(Blessing)
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble
may the clay dance
to balance you
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you
may a flock of colours
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight
When the canvas frays
in the coracle of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours.
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours
and so may a slow
wind work these words,
of love around you
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
this lovely poem was written by the Irish poet John O'Donahue upon the death of his mother. and as Kathy says she finds it comforting, and reassuring, certainly very Celtic
A coracle is a small boat made of canvas common in old days in Ireland, Scotand and Wales. I think O'Donahue is referring to it's fragility.
Kathy goes on to say you can hear this poet read on you tube. He died much too soon in 2008, but his writings are rich treasures that live on - and as K. saiys much like my memories of Mac
Thanks Kathy ...and Love. g'nite.
Friday, 14 August 2015
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Wednesday, 12 August 2015
Wednesday, August 12, 2015...Some wise words ....
As I'm going through the many, many cards, letters,and messages of donations to the Alzheimer Society, I am receiving some help from the wise words I've received:-
From the Book No Death, No Fear - by Thich Nhat Hanh Buddhist Monk
This body is not me, I am not caught in this body,
I am life without boundaries
I have never been born and I have never died
Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies
All manifest from the basis of consciousness.
Since beginning time I have always been free
Birth and death are only a door, through which we go in and out
Birth and death are only a game of hide and seek
So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye
Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before
We shall always be meeting again at the true source,
Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.
This and many other messages I received are really worthwhile, and although I'm not always sure about the whole piece, I feel a real link with the
thoughts....
I have been contemplating moving away to another residence, and have looked at several other apartments. Somehow it doesn't work, he is here, and as I wake up in the morning, walk through the apartment, see the wonderful windows all around (amazingly 3/4 of my walls are window from top to bottom) letting in boundless light..of which Mac commented on every single day I say to myself..why move, he is here with you; and even if you are alone the sunlight warms your heart and you can hear him saying, "Just look at that sun, isn't I beautiful." And it is..
The day before Mac died he was so happy looking at the sunlight that poured through the doors windows and huge skylight of our lobby, smiling and almost completely on target. Jackie the girl who was coming in for her shift on the front desk at four o'clock, said "I'm taking a picture of you two happy lovers - you look great" and she did. I love the picture as she sent it to me that night..although he is thin, eyes rather sunken he has a great smile and apparently that's how he was the morning he died.
Debbie his caregiver during my respite times, also loved this happy smile and she gave me a framed picture she took of us, it is now also my profile pic on facebook. For a time I could hardly look at these pictures or read the cards but I am moving on, and so...
I will continue to put some of the really different and thoughtful messages I've received on this blog..I hope they will help others as well.
One of my friends, Ron, from our support group, was thinking about a Grief Support group, his wife died...we will look into that. but in the meantime, I am using the messages and it has given me courage as well as happy memories...and so it goes g'nite
From the Book No Death, No Fear - by Thich Nhat Hanh Buddhist Monk
This body is not me, I am not caught in this body,
I am life without boundaries
I have never been born and I have never died
Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies
All manifest from the basis of consciousness.
Since beginning time I have always been free
Birth and death are only a door, through which we go in and out
Birth and death are only a game of hide and seek
So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye
Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before
We shall always be meeting again at the true source,
Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.
This and many other messages I received are really worthwhile, and although I'm not always sure about the whole piece, I feel a real link with the
thoughts....
I have been contemplating moving away to another residence, and have looked at several other apartments. Somehow it doesn't work, he is here, and as I wake up in the morning, walk through the apartment, see the wonderful windows all around (amazingly 3/4 of my walls are window from top to bottom) letting in boundless light..of which Mac commented on every single day I say to myself..why move, he is here with you; and even if you are alone the sunlight warms your heart and you can hear him saying, "Just look at that sun, isn't I beautiful." And it is..
The day before Mac died he was so happy looking at the sunlight that poured through the doors windows and huge skylight of our lobby, smiling and almost completely on target. Jackie the girl who was coming in for her shift on the front desk at four o'clock, said "I'm taking a picture of you two happy lovers - you look great" and she did. I love the picture as she sent it to me that night..although he is thin, eyes rather sunken he has a great smile and apparently that's how he was the morning he died.
Debbie his caregiver during my respite times, also loved this happy smile and she gave me a framed picture she took of us, it is now also my profile pic on facebook. For a time I could hardly look at these pictures or read the cards but I am moving on, and so...
I will continue to put some of the really different and thoughtful messages I've received on this blog..I hope they will help others as well.
One of my friends, Ron, from our support group, was thinking about a Grief Support group, his wife died...we will look into that. but in the meantime, I am using the messages and it has given me courage as well as happy memories...and so it goes g'nite
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