It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
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