One of the positive things about my life these days is my support system. This blog is mainly about Mac and his memories but to write about this sometimes it is very sad, or difficult, but having a good support system I can pull up my socks and try to do this with a brighter of better outlook. One of which is to actually try to live in the moment or live for today...easier said than done.
When I mention support - I think first about, my family, who are all so supportive in so many ways ...keeping up our usual celebrations, birthdays, christmas easter etc. as well as helping me in too many ways to mention but being there on a daily basis...then of course there are the relatives and friends ...again especially close friends who give advice because they have gone through the same scenarios, and there are of course friends who cannot face what they see, and this i can understand it's not easy and so though they care they are really there for ME, but not for seeing both of us, i.e. Mac and myself..but that's o.k. everyone has there own way of dealing with this.
On the other hand there is the support that is really important and that is the groups that one can join through the Alzheimer's Assoc. i am able to be in two groups, one of which stems from the original group i met last year...this consists of about five women and one man, we now are in touch and every month at least 4 or 5 get together at a restaurant or home to check out how each one is coping. The second is a group meets once amonth led by a wonderful moderator...as a follow up to the first group, in this group we are 5, and this is where i went today. Where i learned and heard much that helped. The most important being that each has their own way of dealing with A. sometimes the way they deal with a situation helps the next person. i.e. i have had a really sore leg, partly from helping Mac get up, i stand with one leg back and pull causing my weight to go on the leg plus his weight. Today i learned how to reach and put my left hand inside the top of the left side of his belt or pants and kind of lift him by his pants - tried it when i got home, it works!!!
I have been feeling overwhelmed at times with not getting enough sleep - as i'm up sometimes 6 to 8 x a night - wondering should I place mac, then i get so sad I can't stand the thought, today our Moderator pointed out that what is important is SAFETY. When one thinks that either the caregiver or the patient or person with A. can suffer so that for example if i'm not awake enough to help him or myself, that may cause a big problem then i should place mac. Well so far, that scenario is not the case I'm always on the ball and there for him, I can make up the sleep in the day, i have not done this, now I will... This relieves my mind as i now have a parameter that i will think of - i.e. when he is walking - sitting standing, do i have enough things in place to make sure he will be SAFE, and will i also be safe, as there is that to consider, what good is a caregiver who is not well. Anyway with all the points and support i received i came home to
Where were you? There was Mac as usual waiting for me and happy to see me, this in turn always makes me happy too. I told him where i was and what I learned, and although he may not get the complete gist of just what i mean, he is always receptive. One more little tip i learned from my own daughter Maureen, which worked for me, and I was able to pass the info on to another person in the group whose husband has the same problem...that is not able to swallow large pills.... ..when swallowing the pill with the water, turn your head, either to the right or the left as you swallow...sounds funny, but again it worked for Mac, and my little grandson, and I'm hoping it works for this person too.
So hopefully anyone who is reading this may be able to use or pass on the thoughts and points to others, the woman that leads the group said, as I was leaving, one thing you have brought to the group was not just the idea of how to take a pill, but how important it is to see LOVE in action...Well that surprised me, but i think it is in action in all the group, I just happen to wear my heart on my sleeve..or doing all we do for others be it our friends or our partner, definitely love helps, how sad it must be without love....show it - for sure...and that way it is returned...we all need it...so with love i'll say '- g'nite.
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