Friday, July 5, 2013 This must all be a dream.....

Breakfast time and a depressed Mac said, 'this must all be a dream, i don't know who i am - where i am, i think i should just jump off the wall'  The mood changed as the sun shone in, and the breakfast strawberries and rhubarb sauce did their magic...but it took time and effort, but it was worth it to see the change.  The following is my answer to an email -where my cousin speaks of her connection with a 90 year old woman with the a form of alzheimers - dementia ..and how it effects the family and their lives....

Thanks for your lovely comments...it's so true how the disease makes spouses, close relatives and children feel in a sense betrayed and completely unappreciated - i have many friends who are going through this and it's heartbreaking for them...i have been through several scenarios through the past 3 years..where mac loves me beyond any love any where and then rejects me and acts like i'm some kind of ogre, swears at me etc etc. 

 

 just yesterday when i met a fellow sufferer - her mom has the big A. and had just told her to 'bugger off'"  if you knew her mom  and could see her it is almost funny if it wasn't so devastating to my friend....her mom never swore, and also she is lovely even now, but she has off and on times - this was her off day...mac has his as well, another friend says she feels divorced but not divorced, half the time her husband  rejects her and won't even know or speak to her, the other half he's crying that she never visits him...

 

We were out for dinner last night with friends - mac decided he couldn't eat had a funny tummy, and he could'nt talk to me either, in fact wanted to go back and sit in my friend's car...i just ignored the remarks, told him just sit here at the table and close your eyes, you don't have to talk to anyone or be friendly..and then i proceeded to sit him at the end of the table near the wall, then sat beside him.... ordered enough food for myself that would feed two..chatted to everyone easily, (although i could see some of the men were a a bit perturbed that i was ignoring mac) i just make it my business to enjoy, even if he was not, i can't let it overcome the two of us....anyway, by the time dessert came along, i said - mac I can't finish this would you like it...well he just lapped it up (chocolate mousse)..happily..

 

Then, .i said how's your tummy..are you still feeling ill, he said 'when did i say i was ill, what do you mean about my tummy'  he then proceeded to talk to people at the table, smile and joke...in fact here is one...AT the dinner i was given some talcum powder - called sweet night or something,  ...i said, o.k. mac tomorrow i'll have a lovely shower - sprinkle on the talcum get all sexy and hop in bed with you...his answer with a big smile...hummmthink i'll be in Toronto tomorrow....later when we were leaving someone said,  hey shes got that sexy talcum powder...and mac answered, yeah i'm heading home to bed fast...See, how different he can be...it's really a crazy thing that this plaque does to brain cells, and i go through different moods and scenarios all day long.....i could give you at least 4 diff funny and sad scenes from today, but i won't bore you...so all this to tell Glenn,he is so fortunate that he only has this happening so late in his mom's life..my friend has the disease and is only 65...it's hard to see her going downhill with her mind in a fog...it's awful..

 

anyway, you are caring and can really get your mind into how it must be for the sufferer...and it surely must be hell not to know exactly what's going on in one's  life, when  its' so hard to see your loved one  completely out of touch with reality...ooh for a cure..xxxjan

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