And that is the answer Mac gave me this morning. As he was getting up, i asked if he wanted to go to the bathroom, he had to say that at least 3 times the last time very angrily, as I just couldn't focus my hearing...Where? I kept saying...well I guess somewhere is somewhere..ha. In the end he just wandered around the apartment, at 6:00 a.m. while I struggled to keep awake and watch as I hadn't slept too well ...anyway..he is fine now, had breakfast, brushed his teeth and we're planning to go shopping for groceries..
Usually i write this blog about twice a week, unless something really unusual happens - and of course it has to be really unusual health wise....and that is why i'm writing, as yesterday going to my book-study group meeting (Mac comes and sits quietly - most times)..when we were walking to the church all of a sudden he had several severe jerkings of his body, while he felt his heart...I was holding his arm and still walking him slowly, but this continued, my friend came and held his other arm and we waited, while his body jerked and jerked...i was taking out my cell to call 911, when his body calmed down...so we decided to at least walk slowly or i should say slower (Mac walks slowly all the time) and sit him at a bench near the church..we did this...and all went well...in fact it went well for the rest of he day...but I want to get this in writing..and i must remember to read my blog occasionally I think this is a first..will look back.
Looking up in my book 'The 36-hour Day' which by the way, anyone with a family member who has the big A. should get - they explain these jerking motions as Myoclonus jerking movements - though not always of the same muscles, but thrusts of arm or leg. On the other hand, the book says seizures are repeated movements...actually when writing this that's more what Mac had repeated movements in his body rather than of a head or arm etc....so i will defintely have to speak to the nurse today and have her contact the doctor...writing kind of clarifies my thinking here....
As this happened,just before that i had been going over in my mind what a friend had said to me the day before (a friend??) actually she was a nurse in her former life..she said to me that keeping people alive i guess she meant Mac...was selfish...and that like when one has a dog...and loves the dog, they have to do something and not let it live on in pain, it's pure selfishness...Well that threw me for a loop...what did she think i should do..give him a poison pill..or what.Definitely he will stay with me, and it may be selfish, as i do enjoy being with him, although it is very difficult and at times scary...but he is not a DOG, he has feelings, and these feelings, are sometimes rage, sometimes mixed up, and sometimes pure happiness...and anyway, I kept thinking...Am i selfish..what - maybe she thinks I should place him somewhere...like on the 2nd floor with those who because no one person stays with them most, in wheel chairs, on meds...and sit or those that do walk, walk around aimlessly....NO WAY, until he is bed ridden and really ill..and on reading my book - I know that will happen, then and only then will i get more help, and hopefully right in his own bed...
So naturally when these seizures or jerks happened....i wondered, and became a bit concerned that maybe I was not doing the best thing for him, but right now all is well...and he is going somewhere, he is going shopping - WITH ME..
g'day.
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