Before I forget this episode in our lives, here at Residence Floralies, i want to write about it...we were (that is, Mac and I) were sitting on the kind of swing in the back garden, while others (a woman with Alzheimers, her husband, daughter, son - in -law,and their dog - Leela were sitting in the glider swings- chatting). Then the woman who is a resident here waved to us and said "Allo Amoureux' which is what many of the people here call us, as we are always walking together hand in hand....Mac said, what did she say...i said she said "Hello, lovers - in French...that's when he said -" I guess she didn't realize.......... that you are a man"
Well, this is kind of laughable, but i often wonder about this as he often knows i'm a woman, and yet he often does not... What triggers his identity mix-up...We have about four or five constant preposees - they are all women, yet he calls them all men - their hair is usally pulled back in a pony tail, so perhaps that triggers it...but yet one girl has her hair in a long braid, he seems to know she is a girl..but her voice is high and kind of squeaky at times.maybe that's it as the rest of us, have low voices...Debbie (our caregiver when I'm away), has a rather loud voice, but definitely a woman's voice, sometimes her hair is up sometimes down, to Mac, she is always a "he" ,
A couple of times I've tripped, or kind of hurt myself in some minor way, Mac always puts his arm around me, and says 'are you o.k. now' he will hold my hand in church or when we are seated close to each other.
There are various times in the past year since we have been here, that he will hug and kiss me, and he always smiles when i kiss him - so there are triggers in his memory, but what are the triggers - who knows..
His one constant female memory is his mother...where he used to always want to find her...he now seems content to just say - My mother used to be around here somewhere...I haven't seen her for such a long time..I usually agree, and say 'yes it's been a long time...same with myself, I haven't seen my mom for a long time either.." he may add..I should just go and see her - or just go out and visit...but he doesn't have the frantic agitated state when he says this now..which is a plus..
I'm almost afraid to say this but he seems to be more content to just relax, his agitation periods seem to be more in trying to figure out who pays for things and where do they pay etc. This i can kind of sort out as his verbal abilities, are now very much diminished, and his 'oh hell, never mind' ..are more frequent...his short term and long term memories are all but gone...there are no more stories about the past. Now that i've said this, he may just come out with a story..or a memory of some kind..It is as i'm always saying an up and down or a now he is now he isn't kind of thing.
For Debbie she is always delighted when he speaks to her without growling, enjoys eating his snacks- and seems relaxed...which was the case last week...but she never knows, and neither do I. I'm really going out on a limb here, he has slept through the night for a total of eight nights now...hurrah, that means I'm sleeping too, and he's waking up easier too; so now hopefully Wednesday shower day, may turn out o.k. but I'm not counting on it.. One would think that my own mood would be much better, but sad to say, I am getting to be a weepy person, and have to pull myself out of my slumps...which seem to be often, keep having to go to the resource book for caregivers to get myself in hand ...thankfully support groups are there for us caregivers, and they do help..so onward to the dishes and the washing, with Mac's help ...
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