It's been one of those days, lots going on, in terms of visitors, friend at 10;30 to deliver stuff, grandaughter and great grandaughter to visit for an hour, then another friend for lunch, and then for a quiet walk, just the two of us. Our walk through a lovely park with water flowing in a brook, little bridges over the brook, and lovely benches in the shade..and while sitting on a bench, came that question from Mac, Where do you live? I answered, with you...then went on to say where we lived ..then came a torrent of questions based on the fact that I had put 5$ in his pocket as i didn't have a pocket..what a mistake. We went around in circles talking about this money, his money, my money, money in the bank...till i was ready to spit..Not being able to sleep till five a.m. this morning and waking up at 7;00, with mr wide awake mac didn't do my patience much good..but finally he simmered down re; questions, and I actually slept sitting on the bench...for about 15 min. but felt great..
Now this mixed up thinking has returned to Mac's mind, starting about 7;45 p.m. and continuted getting more and more agitated, and when poor Stephane the preposee came to get him ready he was raging. He had to get out of this place, downstairs and to his family. When she said, this is your family, this is your wife...he almost burst he was so incensed. So she went to get the male nurse Bassim, who came helped her to get his p.j.s on - he seems quite fearful of Bassim though B. is so soft sweet, and a head shorter than Mac..but he talks firmly and in short sentences...Which worked, while I got a pill for nervousness and agittion ready and his regular pill.
Mac is now in bed, Bassim will check at 10 p..m. and i'm here wondering whether to sleep in our bed or on the sofa..Last night he just kept sitting up and lying down constantly, got up once but walked around then came back to bed...hopefully the pill will work and he'll sleep all night....i'm living in hopes...As this is happening a little more frequently these days..think i'm going to have to 'bite the bullet' and think of just having him sleep downstairs - then that will mean he'll have to have his own room, it's complicated and i'll have to discuss it with the doc and director..as i don't want to just leave him there, i want him with me in the day.
Perhaps i should start now sleeping on the sofa , saying that's my bed - the bedroom his - and gradually get him used to separate places for sleeping...yuck..this is really heartbreaking...
There are so many sad problems, people are suffering in the world, children are being bombed, etc ...and everyone has their own sad situations...I have many sunny moments in this really awful time in our lives, great family, lovely great grandchild, a grandaughter who brings her to us and cheers me so much...a great apartment, good food to eat...and even a husband who makes me laugh - appreciates and even says thanks when i explain things to him, like today re; his money...so when he growls, yells and carries on - wants to hit me...its not personal, but it's so so sad to see this happening to his brain...that somehow all the other times fade away and i become a wound up peice of vibrating string..that has trouble settling down - like now, but I'm going to try, so g'nite.
No comments:
Post a Comment