Kurt Vonnegut one of my favourite authors used to use that line so often in his books and that's how I feel, so it goes, and it does go these days, so fast I can't remember what I've done yesterday or even earlier this morning, I read, go out, do stuff constantly, and I can't believe how the weeks go so quickly, in fact I am either checking out next week's appointments and thinking I'm seeing whoever this week, or getting mixed up with last week. It's rather pathetic.
Have received so many many wonderful expressions of sympathy, also cards from the Alzheimer's Assoc. to let me know that so many of you have given generous contributions to the Alzheimer's for Research in memory of Mac. Wonderful, and I'm sure that somehow somewhere there will be a cure. BUT as my cousin said to me last week, o.k. let's find a cure, but also let's find out what causes the tangles in the brain in the first place. RIGHT..I know there are some who would say it's our environment - the pollution etc.I could definitely agree with that. Anyway, before I forget - THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL WHO HAVE DONATED, AND OF COURSE FOR ALL THE SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT.
I'm still connected to my support group through the Assoc. and they are wonderful, within this group of seven, we now have a third death of a loved one with Alzheimers..so I will be attending a funeral tomorrow. I could and should look through all the inspiring material that I have received to pass on to this member as he mourns his wife's death. All of which really touched my heart, so it's difficult to choose.
Every day is a gift and as I go through the days without him, I see him everywhere, especially at the lake these days, as I walk and remember just how everything he saw was commented on by him at some point. Strangely I am meeting people who though they never knew Mac, start a conversation with me and then next thing I know we're talking together and walking, I kind of feel he doesn't want me to be lonely..and these people seem to fill the void..I wonder.
In fact yesterday I even had tea with one of these people, she is my age and just so much fun, and while we were laughing - we were joined by an older guy, who bought us both wine and told us all about himself with so many funny remarks that we all found so hilarious..that later I thought, wow how did that happen..I'm actually laughing so hard - but then, later when I'm alone, I seem to go through a deep crying spell. I am on a kind of mood swing where everything is either so so funny, or so so depressing.
One thing it is never boring. So I'll continue on with my memories, one of which I thought of today as I received an email with an attachment - an mp3, of Mac and I - a tape of our Christmas letter to our friends in Australia. Imagine, Owen, had kept it and sent it back now, so many years later and there was Mac talking. I could only listen for one minute before becoming a basket case, but after it made me smile as I thought of how we would tell the same story, and interrupt each other. I would say "ok Mac this is MY story, you tell your own story..but somehow he always thought he could tell my story his way - in other words, much better than I could.
I so wish he could interrupt me right now..but his story is on-going with all our children and grandchildren..I know..and so it goes...bye now
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