As the days in December are going by so quickly, already, and friends and neighbours are saying - wow only three more weeks, only so many days etc. another thing they are saying is ...This will be your first Christmas without Mac...and it is so true and so so sad.
Christmas in the past was a really special time for uos, so much so, that Mac never had a problem wondering, or saying..."what's that" he knew the word Christmas, and was even eating turkey and enjoying the day just last year..
So looking back on Christmases in the past ...was special. We loved it, Mac and I would talk about when we were first married how it was Christmas eve at Mac's mom's home with all his family..and then Christmas at my parent's home on Christmas day, with my family.
Then as time went on, it became Christmas at our place, Mac was a professional wrapper par excellence...I wrote the cards as he passed me the finished product...and at first we could hide the presents in one small area...the storage room of our apartment...then on to the second apartment and three more children...wrapping the presents became a day long activity and hiding them was getting harder..and by the time we moved to our house, present wrapping ...card signing, became a weeklong activity..but finding a hiding place became a little easier, we had many cupboards and a basement by then. Mac would put his favorite records on, and each night or day, we'd sing as we wrapped and soon the job would be done...
Decorating the tree was not the same...that always started out as fun and ended beautifully with all the lights on the tree (just so, as Mr. perfection had to make sure each light was perfectly placed and no two colors beside each other) by the way, in between the starting and the finished product, were words that would turn the room blue, as lights were strung on a tree that would be falling, or bent, or wrong side,...but at the end sitting on a rocking chair and viewing the tree in all it's glory would be Mac, sipping on his glass of wine - all starry eyed and sentimental. We would always say, this is the best one of all. Actually they were fantastic trees that were so tall they had to have the tops cut off...In fact most times we would have two trees one small one for the kids to decorate themselves..and one for Mac.
As the kids grew up, had their relationships and had their children...there were so many gifts and big presents to wrap, it would take up a whole room...in fact even the crib we had for the current grandbaby would be filled to the top and my mom would join us from Toronto..My sister and her family, my cousins etc...and how wonderful that was...though each Christmas there would be someone no longer with us..but there were always new people on the scene, our grandchildren would be bringing their partners, and as of just last year, we were enjoying our great granddaughter, and looking forward to a new great grand child on the way.
And so it goes...we will have a new addition to our tribe (by now I guess one could say we have a tribe)..we have a great grandson, how wonderful, as this will be the Christmas we say goodbye to another one leaving the family. My dearest Mac, will no longer be with us.
Now this Christmas it has come full circle...When we had our first little baby...Leslie sixty-two years ago, I remember my mom saying..."Thank God for Leslie, as this will be my first Christmas without my dearest husband"...so this Christmas, we will say Thank God for Finley and Lachlan our little Great Grandchildren who will make our Christmas Merry,
But in our heart of hearts we'll know that Mac will be there too...
g'nite.
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