Reading the gazette these days is almost impossible - just never seem to be able to do this, but tried today and although i didn't finish the article it is so meaningful and i will get back to it...all about one woman's struggle to keep her husband in the hospital, he is suffering from the big A. as well as other problems and the hospital want's to dismiss him...she mentions how it is so hard she has had him home for 3 years and talks about the difficulties as one can't tell what may happen next, and especially in the sundown syndrome, she is so right. Yesterday's little scenario started about 3;30, kind of early but it was a dull day although we did get out for a walk the sun seemed to leave about then...and sure enough so did Mac's recognition of ME.....
He decided he wanted to leave the apartment and search for his wife...so I went along with this, and as we went downstairs on the elevator, I tried to convince him that hey, that's me, I'm Janet your wife, but he would just laugh and say "cut it out....you are not Janet', and so as not to antagonize him, I just said, oh well I thought i was...and we continued down to the lobby...where he waved or kind of salutes different people, and as we approaced the little enclosure where people sign in, the receptionist gave her usual big smile, and waved - saying "Hi Mr. Mac", and he gave his usual salute...and said "I'm looking for my wife' she kind of laughed and said pointing to me "she is your wife', he looked at me and just laughed...i said, - "he doesn't think so tonight'...with that Elena, stepped out of the booth, walked around to him and said. with her hand on his shoulder she said 'Mr Mac,look at me, you know me right? he said "yes' she added, "Do you trust me', he said "sure', she said, "Well - this is your wife, Janet. She helpes you, She loves you, Do you believe me?" With that he said "yes, turned to me and said - with a kind of sheepish grin "I'm so sorry'...and as we walked away with me giving a thumbs up sign to Elena - he said, I think I was in a deep sleep and didn't wake up till she talked to me loudly...I guess I'm crazy...I said, well no then said, hmmm"well maybe just a little, and he said "hey wait a minute....there' and we both laughed...
This kind of scenario ended so happily, but it's not always the case, sometimes he cries as he mourns his mom, even tonight he was saying "did you see my mom', i said, "no not lately' that seemed like a good answer as he replied, "me neither, i thought i saw her, I wish I could find her", I agreed and mentioned it would be nice to see all our families, our sisters and your brother...then he added and my Mother...finally i was able to bring the conversation to "yes and to be able to play hockey again, remember your skates went to Leslie...''oh did they...then we went to Lacrosse, which he just loved, so then he thought "hey maybe I will fool around with the lacrosse stick this summer, I answered, sure why not...
We then managed to have a light dinner....and he couldn't believe it was dinner time, , Well what did we do all day... Couldn't believe he had been with me at our friend Dorothy's. "Don't you recall watching me swim in her pool...'no way- 'yes way..."well how did that happen, how did we get there...and so it went on, as i told him how we had a wonderful lunch - more like a dinner - he had sliced lamb potatoes lovely cream of zuchini soup...(just a note here her chef at her residence is great, ours is well ours makes edible food, her's makes a super deluxe dinner) but i still like our apartment and location better, so one can't have everything, and anyway, I like to cook...but getting back to mac's memory...his day had disappeared into who knows where...but thankfully, he is still here and now peacefully sleeping (hope)...so better check that out - g'nite.
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