Monday, October 6, 2014...Let's jump and run...

Mac is here in our apartment, he has finished two glasses of milkshake - made with boost chocolate pudding, frozen yogurt, banana, strawberries and milk..now eating two tiny morsels of pineapple.

Today wouldn't get out of bed till 10:30 a.m and with quite a struggle for the preposee, but she managed, but no breakfast, and rien rien lunch as they told me.so that after going up and down 4 x from my apt to his , (took from 10;00 to 2;00 to get him up here). The last time I asked him if he wanted to come up he said, sure let's jump and run.... and now he's happily listening to the radio.
In answer to emails, just to let y'all know I am trying to do stuff without you know who.... I'm including the following:-

Yes we did get up north, that pic I sent you shows our two little cottages in paradise on the lake..I had to leave Mac at home but the good thing is for the first time in two years I was able to walk around the lake, renew my acquaintance with all the beauty – the fab foliage – and some of the locals that I usually only see in summer t'was super, if I can manage will send you a couple more pics…

BUT, just outside my window the trees are spectacular . the sun is shining, and I’ve got my lover here. Actually tried to wash his hair at the kitchen sink with 5 big plastic bags, placed between the sink and his hair and body. I even cut his mustache, beard eyebrows and some of the hair over his ears..he looks terrific, though very very thin. He has eaten a piece of my homemade banana bread, had a cup of coffee(for breakfast), will now try to give him some lunch, soup and egg sandwich, we’ll see if he eats it..you wouldn’t believe how thin he is now..also his walking is the pits,
drags his left leg, poor guy."

Well no he didn't eat the soup or the sandwich that day, and now he will only eat one piece of pineapple. Will try to get him to walk a little more today, and eat a little more.

With the up and down days and mood of Mac, causes me to be just as bad, and find myself feeling very sorry for myself and crying, thinking I've done the wrong thing he should be with me, but I know that I can't manage so on and on my mind goes in circles ...then I read about poor families losing their homes to rebels, others dying from Ebola I say to myself, o.k. Jan, get a handle on this, you've had 62 years of marriage to a great guy, he's sick now, but he is here with you, do your best and stop the nonsense..make your life and his as good as possible.
so will try, g'bye.