After being away yesterday I'm wondering if that's why Mac said that as I sat beside him after he finally was settled in his bed..I said "you are all comfy now-right? and that was his answer, "now don't run away"..I, of course made it clear I'd be right here in the same house (that's how I put it) I guess, he must feel something is not quite right, as we always were in bed together, and if I miss him, I know he misses me.
Some may think this is much easier for me, as one of my friends put it in an email ..this was my answer:
. Life is if anything MORE stressful..Mac does not eat and I mean NO - NOTHING, and I try to tell the preposees that putting a tray packed with food in his room, and no one to help him to eat, is ridiculous.
Yesterday I went up to help ”close-up time” at the lake – then to Maureen’s home for Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I left my special milkshake (boost etc.) for Mac. When I called Cecilia later in the day to make sure all was o.k. (she came at 3 p.m.) Apparently Mac was still in bed, with the lunch tray on his table..no one had gotten him up. He never wants to get up, that’s not new – one has to coax him also feed him. Cecilia got someone to get him up, as she waited in the hall, she said it was horrific to hear the screams and profanities, she couldn’t believe it was him, went in to check it out and sure enough, her quiet Mac was the person, so she asked them to leave and come back in 25 min.
She ended up dressing him herself, took him upstairs and gave him his milkshake, then brought him down to the lobby. She said that was the best part of the day, he really loved looking at everyone there and music was on (they have a kind of musak playing part of the day) and she said he was so content, she couldn’t believe the man was the one she saw earlier. Even with his loss of weight and weak walking, when he is incensed he becomes so strong and aggressive and roars like a lion.
Anyway, all this to say the same thing happened today, only I got there at 9:00, back down at 9:30, then at 10:00 – this time I got him up easily and finally dressed him myself, (not easy) Right now is swaying to the music in our home here, as I try to give him boost - some cookies I just made, cereal – all in tiny tiny bits…I am kind of beside myself trying to think of ways to get him to eat…also what to do about all this, and also what to do about myself, as when I’m not with him I’m worried sick, (cry inwardly and outwardly) and I’m sure drive my friends and family away…because for sure it’s laugh and the world laughs with you and although they may listen and try to help when one is down, one can only help oneself..so it’s cry and you cry alone
One thing did cheer me besides having Mac with me happily all day is I have a list of stuff from the A. Assoc. as to what to do in cases where the person with the big A. won't eat.
Serve the meal one small course at a time.
Simplify the table setting - use one plate - one utensil and one glass.
Make use of contrasts try colored plate on white placemat.
Make use of tangy foods..try bbq sauce on meats or potatoes
Be creative - sweeten things - maple syrup on meats etc. as sweet is the taste that remains with us the longest
Supplement meals with products like Ensure...(I think Boost is equal - will check that out.
Enrich food so that the little bits given are nutritious whole milk, cream wheat germ etc.
Essential oils are believed to stimulate the appetite...they are concentrated oils of plants leaves flowers bark etc. and are said to have therapeutic properties. Sprays that contain essential oils can apparently help to make eating a pleasure..Debbie suggested peppermint, she read this oil works well
I read this online -activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com will definitely give these suggestions a try.
But not right now as my empty bed is calling.g'nite.
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