Now do we go home. These words are a constant from Mac, especially at night and also from so many people with the big A. In different ways, the people with this sad illness, are always looking for their home. Tonight as I explained to him "this is our home"..he looked quite astonished "it is"? Well yes it is, I reply. In fact it's time to go to your bedroom, so let's go. And as we get organized and then take the elevator down to the second floor, it always amazes me that not one memory is there. It's always brand new, as he walks along with me to his room, though once he was sitting in his chair, he seemed to be quite at ease, I put the lamp on, and we sat for a bit as he had his nightly snack. Apple juice, 2 cookies, and yogurt.
"There, we were sitting quite contentedly tonight when a new lady on the floor, came in telling me (in French) to get out of her room. I came to her at the door saying, sorry, this is not your room - your room is over there - actually I hope that is what I was saying as I was trying to say this in French. Well before I knew it, she shoved me with one hand and hit me with her other hand. Wow, I reacted by pushing her as carefully as I could out of the door while she hung on to my shoulder (she is taller than I am and pretty strong)All the while she was swearing and yelling. The other new lady, from our floor (that we know), was saying in a sweet little voice, she should have a key.
The whole thing was quite bizarre..I then tried to lock our door, with the lady pushing in ... telling Mac to stay in his chair, he was not really taking all this in, he was really tired. The woman was still there trying to get in, I was nervous that she would manage and get to Mac. So I ran and saw one of the preposees in another room, she was just putting a woman in her bed. I tried to say, please come with me, we have a problem. "I don't speak English " Well I repeated, vien,vien, come ...she ignored me and continued picking up dirty clothes from the floor. So I left her and luckily ran into the night nurse just bringing Mac his pill..he quickly took in the situation. He took the woman by the hand; quietly explaining to her - I'm taking you to your room. She was protesting, still trying to get at me, but did go along with him, thank God.
I then realized how shaky I was as I was getting Mac all ready and into bed. Then along came that preposee, actually SHE was supposed to get Mac ready, and though she didn't say anything, she looked quite pleased that he was already in bed. She started to get Mac's room mate Walter ready, as another preposee came in to help her. This one said, the ladies were telling me that the new lady hit you (all this is in French ) I said, yes she did, but I came to get help from her, pointing to the preposee. I was afraid for my husband - so she said, I understand English, but do not speak English. I said, you didn't have to speak, I needed your help. Well she got all huffy, saying she could not leave stuff on the floor, and then I just had a bit of a melt down.
It really got to me, I felt that Mac and I were so kind of helpless, and vulnerable; when she knelt on the floor in front of me and said, "please excuse me - I'm sorry don't cry, and the male preposee, said, to me it won't happen again. The whole episode kind of went over Mac's head as he doesn't understand French at all now. This made me even more weepy. I try to overlook the problems we have as I know the preposees are overworked and underpaid; and English is not their first language, but this was really upsetting, and as I type this my back arms and legs are still stiff and sore from the fracas.
But that's an example of how much it means to these poor souls who want their home, their bed. They for sure, are even more to be pitied than I am, at least I know where my home, is. It always makes me so pleased to see how content Mac is when he is in bed, and I stay and see him go to sleep. This poor lady, although she did a number on me, I have to realize how terrible it is for her, where is her home, her family, and particularly her own room, she is really lost.
I on the other hand, am home, in my nice apartment, with my cat, and although I'm missing my sweet Mac, I will go to bed, and thank God he is o.k. and so am I. g'nite.
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