That's the news from my friend Lettie when she phoned me this afternoon. She was able to get a referral to a surgeon for the growth on her husband's ear . For those of you who read yesterday's blog, I wanted to pass that info on so, now that will be the next step for her husband Cliff..So as she said - all's well. and so it is with me though in a different way..and although also a sad thing, it also had to be done...and that is..
To take all my sweet Mac's clothes sort them and put them in bags for the nearly new place. I did this as fast as I could with Gaye's help and a big lump in my throat...She whipped everything into large bags, stowed them in her car..and now I've got these empty drawers...except for one drawer - which has a few things I want to keep to remember, and a few handkerchiefs - don't know if men use them anymore, but Mac would never be without his hanky, and now each night I put one under my pillow and before I go to sleep I kiss it goodnight. Don't know how come but it smells so clean and fresh just like he did, so lucky me still has a little bit of him with me still.
Tomorrow when we go to the lake I'll do the same thing or maybe some time later (why torture myself two days in a row). After doing that today I went to the lake right here in Lachine, where I met a woman who recognized me from the Tea Pot (55 plus club). She said she had heard about my husband's death, and though she had never met me to speak to me she always admired how we walked the path along the lake every day..I thanked her - and then she went on to say that she was married for 45 years but now divorced, I did not ask her reasons why, and she didn't offer any explanation but then she said..you will always have a memory of your walks together, and I want you to know that your walks together not only is a memory for you but for many of us - we would see you both and it somehow inspired us...you wouldn't believe how many people were touched watching
the two of you.
Well I said "thanks again", but somehow I wondered as we shook hands (her name was Vivian) then went on our way, how our walking along the lake
would inspire others, I looked at the many couples walking along the lake, and decided maybe it's because we were an elderly couple..anyway, don't see what was so inspiring, but I got a kind of chuckle as I remembered how a school bus passed us on one of our walks, and a kid yelled out "hi old man and old lady"..and Mac, stopped and said, "that kid better watch out if I ever catch him...what a nerve I'm not an old man"..you know I think he never thought he was old..now THATS inspiring...g'nite.
Tuesday, 28 July 2015
Monday, 27 July 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015 Please just let me say this....
Tonight had the experience of deja- vu as I listened to my friend and neighbor trying to explain to the nurse how her husband had to see the doctor when he comes tomorrow....Letty is the Anglican woman priest who is 90 years old, she has all her faculties and is just so "with it"...but does that make any difference As, Lettie said, Pleases let me say this... NO...the nurse said "no no madam I cannot take anymore information now, I'm too busy, I've been on call all evening and had over 100 people needing attention...BUT, said Letty, if you would let me say it I could say what I had to say all while you took the time to say that....
This nurse is the one on duty when the regular head nurse is not there..she and I often just passed each other with a smile and some times a bit of a chat. but since I'm fine and go out and in without bothering anyone..she is happy to see me. But, I just could not stand by and see this happening. LOOK - I said, pay attention, Lettie, knows what she is talking about, she is not senile or ill, and has something to say...LISTEN...with that she kind of looked at me and started to say something, I held my finger to my lips and said, shush -JUST Listen.
I thought she was going to choke on her smile which she was about to share as if we both have our wits, and this poor soul is "out of it". So she did listen as Lettie explained, saying I must have the doctor see my husband tomorrow (Her husband is on the 2nd floor where Mac used to be the last 4 monthss of his life) Lettie said, my husband has a growth about of 1/2 inch growing on his ear, no one has done anything about this. The nurse said, did you tell the nurse on duty today she is the one to talk to. Lettie said, yes I told her but she did not answer and I want to know if my husband's name is on the list.
Well she went and brought us the list..NO, his name was not there...I said, just put his name there, and we will be sure to be there when he comes - he usually comes on Tues at one o'clock, if I remember rightly. Yes said the nurse, but you should complain to the manager.. Well for sure we will tomorrow, and I will make sure Lettie gets to see the Doctor, as he leaves for a two week vacation after tomorrow...
, This is a common problem, just makes me want to scream, if one is elderly and looks it, has a problem (Lettie broke her hip is using a walker) and doesn't talk too loudly, just politely..that person is ignored. In fact if one has the big A and no one is there for them, they sit all day, no one really takes time to talk to them or listen. That is why it is so important that there is someone to speak for their dad, mom and in this case husband. Also,in this case the person -Lettie - is elderly - and can be put off as she is weak. So, as I told her - get your son to come here and give the powers that be a piece of his mind..Imagine Lettie pays over 6000 $ a month for this ...
She is not alone, and this is not the only place that I see problems of this nature...Anyone reading this, please, if you know of someone in a nursing home,or residence, even one without dementia, make sure they are getting proper care..I know Mac was lucky, he was not always easy to help, but for one thing he smiled and waved to people most days, he was good looking, and he had me. And, although I was always there for him, and made sure...YET, as past blogs often mention, I had some problems along the way but for the most part I was able to get doctor attention and nurse attention, not always were the Preposees helpful, but my complaints to the powers that be, were listened to.
This was going to be a blog about how fun it was to have another little birthday celebration with two good friends who have the same birth date as mine..and how much fun we had etc. as that was really how I spent the day at a restaurant and at the lake but hey this one hour experience takes precedence...remember, spread the word, you may not have a loved one in this position,dthe big A,or be on a walker at age 90, but you could become the person in that position...empathy, caring, being there for others go for it.
If you visit people in residence, make your visit more than just a hello and goodbye, look for ways to stimulate, even if you just talk about the weather..talk about it..show pictures, bring a book, magazine and flip the pages with the person. Sing old songs, (your singing voice is fine). Ask questions about lunch, supper,
Tonight I also spoke to Alice (93 yr old almost blind and wheelchair bound nd always cranky)..she said I have a little gift for you. It was a small empty aspirin bottle, I said, oh thanks Alice..she said "do you know what it's for", I said well maybe I could put a couple of aspirin in when I go somewhere - she said. NO dear, it's for a few of Mac's ashes, I want you to keep them in that little bottle in your purse. Then he can be with you always..I said, "thanks Alice,I'll think about that, but you know he is with me always anyway, he is in my heart. With that she pulled me to her and kissed me-..I said, thanks again g'nige alice, and so g'nite to you...
This nurse is the one on duty when the regular head nurse is not there..she and I often just passed each other with a smile and some times a bit of a chat. but since I'm fine and go out and in without bothering anyone..she is happy to see me. But, I just could not stand by and see this happening. LOOK - I said, pay attention, Lettie, knows what she is talking about, she is not senile or ill, and has something to say...LISTEN...with that she kind of looked at me and started to say something, I held my finger to my lips and said, shush -JUST Listen.
I thought she was going to choke on her smile which she was about to share as if we both have our wits, and this poor soul is "out of it". So she did listen as Lettie explained, saying I must have the doctor see my husband tomorrow (Her husband is on the 2nd floor where Mac used to be the last 4 monthss of his life) Lettie said, my husband has a growth about of 1/2 inch growing on his ear, no one has done anything about this. The nurse said, did you tell the nurse on duty today she is the one to talk to. Lettie said, yes I told her but she did not answer and I want to know if my husband's name is on the list.
Well she went and brought us the list..NO, his name was not there...I said, just put his name there, and we will be sure to be there when he comes - he usually comes on Tues at one o'clock, if I remember rightly. Yes said the nurse, but you should complain to the manager.. Well for sure we will tomorrow, and I will make sure Lettie gets to see the Doctor, as he leaves for a two week vacation after tomorrow...
, This is a common problem, just makes me want to scream, if one is elderly and looks it, has a problem (Lettie broke her hip is using a walker) and doesn't talk too loudly, just politely..that person is ignored. In fact if one has the big A and no one is there for them, they sit all day, no one really takes time to talk to them or listen. That is why it is so important that there is someone to speak for their dad, mom and in this case husband. Also,in this case the person -Lettie - is elderly - and can be put off as she is weak. So, as I told her - get your son to come here and give the powers that be a piece of his mind..Imagine Lettie pays over 6000 $ a month for this ...
She is not alone, and this is not the only place that I see problems of this nature...Anyone reading this, please, if you know of someone in a nursing home,or residence, even one without dementia, make sure they are getting proper care..I know Mac was lucky, he was not always easy to help, but for one thing he smiled and waved to people most days, he was good looking, and he had me. And, although I was always there for him, and made sure...YET, as past blogs often mention, I had some problems along the way but for the most part I was able to get doctor attention and nurse attention, not always were the Preposees helpful, but my complaints to the powers that be, were listened to.
This was going to be a blog about how fun it was to have another little birthday celebration with two good friends who have the same birth date as mine..and how much fun we had etc. as that was really how I spent the day at a restaurant and at the lake but hey this one hour experience takes precedence...remember, spread the word, you may not have a loved one in this position,dthe big A,or be on a walker at age 90, but you could become the person in that position...empathy, caring, being there for others go for it.
If you visit people in residence, make your visit more than just a hello and goodbye, look for ways to stimulate, even if you just talk about the weather..talk about it..show pictures, bring a book, magazine and flip the pages with the person. Sing old songs, (your singing voice is fine). Ask questions about lunch, supper,
Tonight I also spoke to Alice (93 yr old almost blind and wheelchair bound nd always cranky)..she said I have a little gift for you. It was a small empty aspirin bottle, I said, oh thanks Alice..she said "do you know what it's for", I said well maybe I could put a couple of aspirin in when I go somewhere - she said. NO dear, it's for a few of Mac's ashes, I want you to keep them in that little bottle in your purse. Then he can be with you always..I said, "thanks Alice,I'll think about that, but you know he is with me always anyway, he is in my heart. With that she pulled me to her and kissed me-..I said, thanks again g'nige alice, and so g'nite to you...
Monday, 20 July 2015
Monday, July 20, 2015 How deep is the ocean....
Today Face Book sent me some excerpts I posted from three years ago. How nice to see pictures from that time, the time we celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary, and my 80th birthday..What a special night and how really appropriate as had just been reading about how these days many Cinderella stories end with Cinderella making it wonderfully on her own, without Prince Charming.
I'm a romantic and having a lovely ending where both the prince and Cinderella ending their days together and in love how super, - well why not...but I know it is not always the way it ends and I know that our love was special and that we were a lucky couple.
I am thankful although let's face it, life happens, and we were not always "lucky", there were our ups and downs..not just with our tempers which sometimes ran high, but with our health,(sometimes scary as when both Mac and I had to have further testing for cancer, mine negative, Mac's positive..but he overcame the prostate cancer...
and of course the tearful goodbyes to parents, relations, and many many friends as they left this life which of course, happened along the many years we shared together...until the kind of last sad goodbye to my Prince.
But, last week our family vacation in Maine helped me and was so super. the reason I thought of it was to kind of go back in time when we (Mac and I) took our young family to Ocean Park..it was such a lovely time and now many years later, our growing family had the same wonderful beach experience , and so did I, but without the Prince Charming...
While there I thought about the many beach vacations we had through all those years..in fact we met at a beach, right here in Dorval -Pine Beach..and the beaches continued to entrance us throughout our lives, from Plattsburgh Beach N.Y.,Crystal Beach Ft. Erie,(our so-called courting years) our honeymoon at Miami Beach on through the many many beaches in Fla. too numerous to mention, our great fun the past 30 years at Lake Hughes, to the beaches of the Caribean, Cuba, Jamaica Hawaii, Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia not to forget the freezing beach in the North Sea of Scotland, Brighton Beach in England, Normandy Beach in France...even a strange little beach in Romania...
We certainly loved the beach, Mac tanned and I freckled and burned, but always the water and the Ocean were mesmerizing we loved those days and now I think of the ending words to that old song....
If I should ever lose you - how much would I cry
How deep is the Ocean, How high is the sky.
g'nite..
I'm a romantic and having a lovely ending where both the prince and Cinderella ending their days together and in love how super, - well why not...but I know it is not always the way it ends and I know that our love was special and that we were a lucky couple.
I am thankful although let's face it, life happens, and we were not always "lucky", there were our ups and downs..not just with our tempers which sometimes ran high, but with our health,(sometimes scary as when both Mac and I had to have further testing for cancer, mine negative, Mac's positive..but he overcame the prostate cancer...
and of course the tearful goodbyes to parents, relations, and many many friends as they left this life which of course, happened along the many years we shared together...until the kind of last sad goodbye to my Prince.
But, last week our family vacation in Maine helped me and was so super. the reason I thought of it was to kind of go back in time when we (Mac and I) took our young family to Ocean Park..it was such a lovely time and now many years later, our growing family had the same wonderful beach experience , and so did I, but without the Prince Charming...
While there I thought about the many beach vacations we had through all those years..in fact we met at a beach, right here in Dorval -Pine Beach..and the beaches continued to entrance us throughout our lives, from Plattsburgh Beach N.Y.,Crystal Beach Ft. Erie,(our so-called courting years) our honeymoon at Miami Beach on through the many many beaches in Fla. too numerous to mention, our great fun the past 30 years at Lake Hughes, to the beaches of the Caribean, Cuba, Jamaica Hawaii, Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia not to forget the freezing beach in the North Sea of Scotland, Brighton Beach in England, Normandy Beach in France...even a strange little beach in Romania...
We certainly loved the beach, Mac tanned and I freckled and burned, but always the water and the Ocean were mesmerizing we loved those days and now I think of the ending words to that old song....
If I should ever lose you - how much would I cry
How deep is the Ocean, How high is the sky.
g'nite..
Wednesday, 8 July 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2009....Thinking of you....
Night before last I had a dream, it seemed so real, and it still kind of haunts me so decided to write about it. I think dreams are often the result of what goes on in the daytime, and this one is no exception. I have to get all Mac's clothing together ...sometime..and take it to NOVA, which is a place the Victorian Order of Nurses, has for good as new clothing..guess they get the money when the goods are sold. So thinking of Mac and his clothing I guess spurred my dream, which was that.....
He was lying in a kind of fetal position with clothes on - on top of the bedspread, in a deep sleep...I thought how terrific he looked, contented and peaceful...I decided to lie down and cuddle up right beside him. I did, then thought, O.K I will put my arm around him and hug him close..and I did... it was wonderful...I then saw my daughter Glenna coming in the room, so I let on I was still asleep, but watching her through my eyelashes (of all things), and saying to myself, good we both have all our clothes on..anyway, she came in and then tip toed out of the room. I thought - isn't that sweet of her not to wake dad and say hi...and that was the end of the dream.
I actually bought a little book to record the dream, but then decided oh heck it's kind of sweet and funny, I"ll put it in my blog..then I realized what else had spurred the dream. I was looking for an old address of a friend, and found a tiny address book, from 2007. In there I had listed a few things that I felt should be noted about Mac, this after a visit to a friend in Belleville whose husband had some short term memory problems, her husband would forget where he was going when driving his car was, - his wife had to remind him.
This made me think of some clues I noticed about Mac's behavior, so when I got home from
Belleville, I started to write them down in a that little address book. Here they are now eight years later
1. He thought geraniums were colieses, this is a man who knew his garden and plants.
2. He thought the bird in the windchime was real
3. When a friend was at the door - I said look it's Ginny (I could see her through the frosted glass on the door) he could no see her.
4. When describing where we lived to someone on the phone he said, our house was before the turn onto Moncalm..then was able to correct himself a bit later.
5. When looking at a picture he thought that our grandson Olivier, who was about 4 at the time was another grandson Evan, who actually was much older.
6. Thought when looking at another picture that I was a friend of the family - in fact a man.
7. Unless pressed will not comment on any visual stimuli or pictures.
8. Has been walking past the entrance to our cottage, then saying I really wanted to walk some more.
These original writings from 2007 and later ones which I think I put in an earlier blog were the incentive to see what really was going on in his brain..at our Gerontologist who then referred us to the neurologist . When Mac had his MRI (at the Royal Vic hospital) that neurologist, Dr. Durkin told him he had Alzheimer's - Mac asked "what is the prognosis"..The doc said, eight years...as we walked out on Pine Ave. Mac said, o.k. Jan throw me under the first bus... Obviously we were both stunned and I can't begin to describe our agony and our depression, but as I said to Mac, people get amnesia and have to learn about themselves every day. That's what we will call it, and try to enjoy each moment. Guess what, for the past eight years and for the most part that just what we did...
So Mac, I saw you last night and got that old feeling....g'nite.
He was lying in a kind of fetal position with clothes on - on top of the bedspread, in a deep sleep...I thought how terrific he looked, contented and peaceful...I decided to lie down and cuddle up right beside him. I did, then thought, O.K I will put my arm around him and hug him close..and I did... it was wonderful...I then saw my daughter Glenna coming in the room, so I let on I was still asleep, but watching her through my eyelashes (of all things), and saying to myself, good we both have all our clothes on..anyway, she came in and then tip toed out of the room. I thought - isn't that sweet of her not to wake dad and say hi...and that was the end of the dream.
I actually bought a little book to record the dream, but then decided oh heck it's kind of sweet and funny, I"ll put it in my blog..then I realized what else had spurred the dream. I was looking for an old address of a friend, and found a tiny address book, from 2007. In there I had listed a few things that I felt should be noted about Mac, this after a visit to a friend in Belleville whose husband had some short term memory problems, her husband would forget where he was going when driving his car was, - his wife had to remind him.
This made me think of some clues I noticed about Mac's behavior, so when I got home from
Belleville, I started to write them down in a that little address book. Here they are now eight years later
1. He thought geraniums were colieses, this is a man who knew his garden and plants.
2. He thought the bird in the windchime was real
3. When a friend was at the door - I said look it's Ginny (I could see her through the frosted glass on the door) he could no see her.
4. When describing where we lived to someone on the phone he said, our house was before the turn onto Moncalm..then was able to correct himself a bit later.
5. When looking at a picture he thought that our grandson Olivier, who was about 4 at the time was another grandson Evan, who actually was much older.
6. Thought when looking at another picture that I was a friend of the family - in fact a man.
7. Unless pressed will not comment on any visual stimuli or pictures.
8. Has been walking past the entrance to our cottage, then saying I really wanted to walk some more.
These original writings from 2007 and later ones which I think I put in an earlier blog were the incentive to see what really was going on in his brain..at our Gerontologist who then referred us to the neurologist . When Mac had his MRI (at the Royal Vic hospital) that neurologist, Dr. Durkin told him he had Alzheimer's - Mac asked "what is the prognosis"..The doc said, eight years...as we walked out on Pine Ave. Mac said, o.k. Jan throw me under the first bus... Obviously we were both stunned and I can't begin to describe our agony and our depression, but as I said to Mac, people get amnesia and have to learn about themselves every day. That's what we will call it, and try to enjoy each moment. Guess what, for the past eight years and for the most part that just what we did...
So Mac, I saw you last night and got that old feeling....g'nite.
Sunday, 5 July 2015
Sunday, July 5, 2015 Surprise - Happy birthday.....
Have a correction to make, I had written that the inscription on the ceramic box that holds Mac's ashes has his birth date as January 30, 1930, that is an error, his birth date is actually January 13, 1930...
Glenna spotted the mistake, thus making me really think about His birthday. Birthdays are always cause for a celebration in our family, and, in particular, two celebrations of Mac's birthday which were supposed to be a surprise.
The first was when he was twenty-one. We had been going out together for about three years and in those days twenty-one was the big one.. considered to be an adult. In many cases, whoever was having a twenty-first birthday would have a special party, so I decided that it was time for Mac to have a Surprise Party..
In many of the surprise parties we had attended, it seemed that the person that was supposed to be surprised always seemed to know - so I decided no way. This was to be a complete surprise, and it was, though not exactly a happy .one ..
We had planned to go to the Seville Theatre..the star of the show I think was Johnny Ray, the Seville used to have some headliners, I remember seeing various singers of note, although strangely all I can remember was the one who used to cry when he sang...who on earth was that now, I think it was Johnny Ray. He sang the little white cloud that cried or something...anyway I digress.
The guests were all in cahoots and managed to be at Mac's home for 8:00, we at the same time were on the way to the theatre. When we got to the door of the theatre, Mac all keen to see the show was ushering me along, when I pulled my little stunt. I said, oh Mac we have to quickly go back to your house (I had been there for supper and the theatre tickets were to be my birthday gift). Why, he said crossly, I replied I've forgotten my glasses .. Having myopia means that movies plays etc. are a blur without my glasses...and I've always made sure to have my glasses in my purse. Well that was a real shock to Mac, WHAT, how come you don't have your glasses?? I said, I think I was looking at something or other an way, I don't have them we'll just go back to your home and get them.
A very very grumpy Mac, and I went back by taxi, although we had gone to the theatre by streetcar..His mom and family were in on this, so his friends were waiting. ...We were to be twenty in all. So this having a crabby Mac, didn't bode to well for a fun start..I should have realized that not only was he grumpy that we were to be late for the performance, but he was also going to miss the whole show, for something he has never thought too much of..which is Surprise Parties.
So as we were going up the stairs to his home, I tried to be very up and cheery, which went over like a lead balloon, When we finally opened the door and our friends yelled Surprise.Happy Birthday, .for sure Mac was surprised..happy well I don't think so....instead of looking all happy at the surprise, he looked completely ticked off..
Thankfully his better nature took over, and all in all it was a fairly good party..We all danced, sang, and the guys drank beer and the girls drank rum and coke. I remember we had a game of slow dancing trying to see who could hold an orange between our heads right through the music on record...We did the limbo and had some prizes, and in the end Mac enjoyed. Though I must say, both of us at the end said we really kind of wished we had gone to the theatre. Did we go to the show the next night, I really don't remember just remember the kind of let down feeling at the beginning of the party..hmmm not so cool.
The second time he had a surprise party was for his 60th..this time our kids were the ones giving the party..and again I was the one to take him away and get him back to the house in time...I think it was at a dinner at our daughter Gaye's when the secret kind of got out of the bag, we were discussing different friends and activities when I goofed, and mentioned one of the friends would be coming to the party..I tried to cover up by saying - I'm talking about a party his family are giving. Well Mac didn't say a word, and I thought it had escaped his notice, but no way. When we were back at home and in bed, he said. "Don't think that I didn't notice your boo boo...I do NOT want a Surprise Party. NO WAY. I said, I'm not giving you one, the kids are. So be a sport and let them. He said, Forget it..tomorrow get on the phone and have them cancel that party , and I mean it.
The next day, I called a couple of them and said, please phone the names you have and cancel ,I do know Les said o.k. and I'm not sure who else, but when I called Valerie, she answered - NO, I've called all my people and we're still having the party. If he comes in and is angry, we'll just say, o.k. go to bed, or go and read a book, WE"RE having a party, it's our party, and we're still having it. So I thought OK, that' s it, I phoned whoever back and said, the party is still ON, whether he wants it or not. I'll take him out for dinner, and so make sure there are no cars around when we get home, we'll surprise him anyway.
So that is precisely what we did. We went to a favourite restaurant. He ordered his special that he usually got at that restaurant..think it was Le Sel restaurant - and he said, well I'm happy- no party- right? I said well no it's already nine o'clock, and we're having dinner...So let's have a great dessert, and after dinner a special drink , besides the wine- I can't remember - what he ordered, but he was relaxed and happy..NO PARTY.. When we returned home all was in darkness, except for Maureen's room, she still lived at home..no cars..and as we came in the door. I just was so surprised myself at how quiet everything was, I was beginning to wonder if anyone was there, when all of a sudden all the lights came on, and a crowd seemed to come out of nowhere SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, i was just as surprised as Mac. We both laughed hysterically, and what a great party it turned out to be.
I remember Mac got some fancy red undershorts, and there is a picture of him smiling away with the gift of red undershorts on his head..Did he enjoy..for sure he did!! Lots of fun and laughter...a happy memory ...g'nite.
Glenna spotted the mistake, thus making me really think about His birthday. Birthdays are always cause for a celebration in our family, and, in particular, two celebrations of Mac's birthday which were supposed to be a surprise.
The first was when he was twenty-one. We had been going out together for about three years and in those days twenty-one was the big one.. considered to be an adult. In many cases, whoever was having a twenty-first birthday would have a special party, so I decided that it was time for Mac to have a Surprise Party..
In many of the surprise parties we had attended, it seemed that the person that was supposed to be surprised always seemed to know - so I decided no way. This was to be a complete surprise, and it was, though not exactly a happy .one ..
We had planned to go to the Seville Theatre..the star of the show I think was Johnny Ray, the Seville used to have some headliners, I remember seeing various singers of note, although strangely all I can remember was the one who used to cry when he sang...who on earth was that now, I think it was Johnny Ray. He sang the little white cloud that cried or something...anyway I digress.
The guests were all in cahoots and managed to be at Mac's home for 8:00, we at the same time were on the way to the theatre. When we got to the door of the theatre, Mac all keen to see the show was ushering me along, when I pulled my little stunt. I said, oh Mac we have to quickly go back to your house (I had been there for supper and the theatre tickets were to be my birthday gift). Why, he said crossly, I replied I've forgotten my glasses .. Having myopia means that movies plays etc. are a blur without my glasses...and I've always made sure to have my glasses in my purse. Well that was a real shock to Mac, WHAT, how come you don't have your glasses?? I said, I think I was looking at something or other an way, I don't have them we'll just go back to your home and get them.
A very very grumpy Mac, and I went back by taxi, although we had gone to the theatre by streetcar..His mom and family were in on this, so his friends were waiting. ...We were to be twenty in all. So this having a crabby Mac, didn't bode to well for a fun start..I should have realized that not only was he grumpy that we were to be late for the performance, but he was also going to miss the whole show, for something he has never thought too much of..which is Surprise Parties.
So as we were going up the stairs to his home, I tried to be very up and cheery, which went over like a lead balloon, When we finally opened the door and our friends yelled Surprise.Happy Birthday, .for sure Mac was surprised..happy well I don't think so....instead of looking all happy at the surprise, he looked completely ticked off..
Thankfully his better nature took over, and all in all it was a fairly good party..We all danced, sang, and the guys drank beer and the girls drank rum and coke. I remember we had a game of slow dancing trying to see who could hold an orange between our heads right through the music on record...We did the limbo and had some prizes, and in the end Mac enjoyed. Though I must say, both of us at the end said we really kind of wished we had gone to the theatre. Did we go to the show the next night, I really don't remember just remember the kind of let down feeling at the beginning of the party..hmmm not so cool.
The second time he had a surprise party was for his 60th..this time our kids were the ones giving the party..and again I was the one to take him away and get him back to the house in time...I think it was at a dinner at our daughter Gaye's when the secret kind of got out of the bag, we were discussing different friends and activities when I goofed, and mentioned one of the friends would be coming to the party..I tried to cover up by saying - I'm talking about a party his family are giving. Well Mac didn't say a word, and I thought it had escaped his notice, but no way. When we were back at home and in bed, he said. "Don't think that I didn't notice your boo boo...I do NOT want a Surprise Party. NO WAY. I said, I'm not giving you one, the kids are. So be a sport and let them. He said, Forget it..tomorrow get on the phone and have them cancel that party , and I mean it.
The next day, I called a couple of them and said, please phone the names you have and cancel ,I do know Les said o.k. and I'm not sure who else, but when I called Valerie, she answered - NO, I've called all my people and we're still having the party. If he comes in and is angry, we'll just say, o.k. go to bed, or go and read a book, WE"RE having a party, it's our party, and we're still having it. So I thought OK, that' s it, I phoned whoever back and said, the party is still ON, whether he wants it or not. I'll take him out for dinner, and so make sure there are no cars around when we get home, we'll surprise him anyway.
So that is precisely what we did. We went to a favourite restaurant. He ordered his special that he usually got at that restaurant..think it was Le Sel restaurant - and he said, well I'm happy- no party- right? I said well no it's already nine o'clock, and we're having dinner...So let's have a great dessert, and after dinner a special drink , besides the wine- I can't remember - what he ordered, but he was relaxed and happy..NO PARTY.. When we returned home all was in darkness, except for Maureen's room, she still lived at home..no cars..and as we came in the door. I just was so surprised myself at how quiet everything was, I was beginning to wonder if anyone was there, when all of a sudden all the lights came on, and a crowd seemed to come out of nowhere SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, i was just as surprised as Mac. We both laughed hysterically, and what a great party it turned out to be.
I remember Mac got some fancy red undershorts, and there is a picture of him smiling away with the gift of red undershorts on his head..Did he enjoy..for sure he did!! Lots of fun and laughter...a happy memory ...g'nite.
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