Night before last I had a dream, it seemed so real, and it still kind of haunts me so decided to write about it. I think dreams are often the result of what goes on in the daytime, and this one is no exception. I have to get all Mac's clothing together ...sometime..and take it to NOVA, which is a place the Victorian Order of Nurses, has for good as new clothing..guess they get the money when the goods are sold. So thinking of Mac and his clothing I guess spurred my dream, which was that.....
He was lying in a kind of fetal position with clothes on - on top of the bedspread, in a deep sleep...I thought how terrific he looked, contented and peaceful...I decided to lie down and cuddle up right beside him. I did, then thought, O.K I will put my arm around him and hug him close..and I did... it was wonderful...I then saw my daughter Glenna coming in the room, so I let on I was still asleep, but watching her through my eyelashes (of all things), and saying to myself, good we both have all our clothes on..anyway, she came in and then tip toed out of the room. I thought - isn't that sweet of her not to wake dad and say hi...and that was the end of the dream.
I actually bought a little book to record the dream, but then decided oh heck it's kind of sweet and funny, I"ll put it in my blog..then I realized what else had spurred the dream. I was looking for an old address of a friend, and found a tiny address book, from 2007. In there I had listed a few things that I felt should be noted about Mac, this after a visit to a friend in Belleville whose husband had some short term memory problems, her husband would forget where he was going when driving his car was, - his wife had to remind him.
This made me think of some clues I noticed about Mac's behavior, so when I got home from
Belleville, I started to write them down in a that little address book. Here they are now eight years later
1. He thought geraniums were colieses, this is a man who knew his garden and plants.
2. He thought the bird in the windchime was real
3. When a friend was at the door - I said look it's Ginny (I could see her through the frosted glass on the door) he could no see her.
4. When describing where we lived to someone on the phone he said, our house was before the turn onto Moncalm..then was able to correct himself a bit later.
5. When looking at a picture he thought that our grandson Olivier, who was about 4 at the time was another grandson Evan, who actually was much older.
6. Thought when looking at another picture that I was a friend of the family - in fact a man.
7. Unless pressed will not comment on any visual stimuli or pictures.
8. Has been walking past the entrance to our cottage, then saying I really wanted to walk some more.
These original writings from 2007 and later ones which I think I put in an earlier blog were the incentive to see what really was going on in his brain..at our Gerontologist who then referred us to the neurologist . When Mac had his MRI (at the Royal Vic hospital) that neurologist, Dr. Durkin told him he had Alzheimer's - Mac asked "what is the prognosis"..The doc said, eight years...as we walked out on Pine Ave. Mac said, o.k. Jan throw me under the first bus... Obviously we were both stunned and I can't begin to describe our agony and our depression, but as I said to Mac, people get amnesia and have to learn about themselves every day. That's what we will call it, and try to enjoy each moment. Guess what, for the past eight years and for the most part that just what we did...
So Mac, I saw you last night and got that old feeling....g'nite.
No comments:
Post a Comment