Tonight had the experience of deja- vu as I listened to my friend and neighbor trying to explain to the nurse how her husband had to see the doctor when he comes tomorrow....Letty is the Anglican woman priest who is 90 years old, she has all her faculties and is just so "with it"...but does that make any difference As, Lettie said, Pleases let me say this... NO...the nurse said "no no madam I cannot take anymore information now, I'm too busy, I've been on call all evening and had over 100 people needing attention...BUT, said Letty, if you would let me say it I could say what I had to say all while you took the time to say that....
This nurse is the one on duty when the regular head nurse is not there..she and I often just passed each other with a smile and some times a bit of a chat. but since I'm fine and go out and in without bothering anyone..she is happy to see me. But, I just could not stand by and see this happening. LOOK - I said, pay attention, Lettie, knows what she is talking about, she is not senile or ill, and has something to say...LISTEN...with that she kind of looked at me and started to say something, I held my finger to my lips and said, shush -JUST Listen.
I thought she was going to choke on her smile which she was about to share as if we both have our wits, and this poor soul is "out of it". So she did listen as Lettie explained, saying I must have the doctor see my husband tomorrow (Her husband is on the 2nd floor where Mac used to be the last 4 monthss of his life) Lettie said, my husband has a growth about of 1/2 inch growing on his ear, no one has done anything about this. The nurse said, did you tell the nurse on duty today she is the one to talk to. Lettie said, yes I told her but she did not answer and I want to know if my husband's name is on the list.
Well she went and brought us the list..NO, his name was not there...I said, just put his name there, and we will be sure to be there when he comes - he usually comes on Tues at one o'clock, if I remember rightly. Yes said the nurse, but you should complain to the manager.. Well for sure we will tomorrow, and I will make sure Lettie gets to see the Doctor, as he leaves for a two week vacation after tomorrow...
, This is a common problem, just makes me want to scream, if one is elderly and looks it, has a problem (Lettie broke her hip is using a walker) and doesn't talk too loudly, just politely..that person is ignored. In fact if one has the big A and no one is there for them, they sit all day, no one really takes time to talk to them or listen. That is why it is so important that there is someone to speak for their dad, mom and in this case husband. Also,in this case the person -Lettie - is elderly - and can be put off as she is weak. So, as I told her - get your son to come here and give the powers that be a piece of his mind..Imagine Lettie pays over 6000 $ a month for this ...
She is not alone, and this is not the only place that I see problems of this nature...Anyone reading this, please, if you know of someone in a nursing home,or residence, even one without dementia, make sure they are getting proper care..I know Mac was lucky, he was not always easy to help, but for one thing he smiled and waved to people most days, he was good looking, and he had me. And, although I was always there for him, and made sure...YET, as past blogs often mention, I had some problems along the way but for the most part I was able to get doctor attention and nurse attention, not always were the Preposees helpful, but my complaints to the powers that be, were listened to.
This was going to be a blog about how fun it was to have another little birthday celebration with two good friends who have the same birth date as mine..and how much fun we had etc. as that was really how I spent the day at a restaurant and at the lake but hey this one hour experience takes precedence...remember, spread the word, you may not have a loved one in this position,dthe big A,or be on a walker at age 90, but you could become the person in that position...empathy, caring, being there for others go for it.
If you visit people in residence, make your visit more than just a hello and goodbye, look for ways to stimulate, even if you just talk about the weather..talk about it..show pictures, bring a book, magazine and flip the pages with the person. Sing old songs, (your singing voice is fine). Ask questions about lunch, supper,
Tonight I also spoke to Alice (93 yr old almost blind and wheelchair bound nd always cranky)..she said I have a little gift for you. It was a small empty aspirin bottle, I said, oh thanks Alice..she said "do you know what it's for", I said well maybe I could put a couple of aspirin in when I go somewhere - she said. NO dear, it's for a few of Mac's ashes, I want you to keep them in that little bottle in your purse. Then he can be with you always..I said, "thanks Alice,I'll think about that, but you know he is with me always anyway, he is in my heart. With that she pulled me to her and kissed me-..I said, thanks again g'nige alice, and so g'nite to you...
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