The past Tuesday, I took a sentimental journey to Prescott, Ont. Have never been there before, but I went with my friend to visit her cousin Pat. Pat lives in a Residence for Seniors with ailments, BUT, not the big A. The sad thing is that apparently Pat has a type of Dementia, (frontal lobe type) and the staff there are unable to look after her, so she will have to move. In the meantime she is there till she can be placed.
Well it was quite a nice little town and the reason for the sentiment in my case was that my sister used to say she liked small Ontario towns, so decided I'd see one for myself, and it was a neat place with Ontario type houses - red brick - large verandahs, lovely big trees and gardens..after looking around the town - got back to the residence in time to go out for lunch with my friend Ginny and her cousin. It was interesting, as I noticed how well Pat seemed. No too obvious Alzheimer shuffle or behaviours, although her meat had to be cut for her - but other than that, she was able to discuss old times with us and sing some old Girl Guide songs (this in the car).
When we returned from lunch, we watched and listened to a man singing and entertaining ...when he sang the song Gonna take a Sentimental Journey..both Pat and I danced together and our voices took off, as we got to the part Seven that's the time we leave at seven...and so with leaving in mind, that's what we did as we kind of danced our way to the front door. Altogether a wonderful time with a really pleasant lady.
So it was rather a surprise when Ginny informed me that Pat rarely spoke to anyone except Ginny herself, and Pat's good friend who usually visits but at this time the good friend is recovering from an operation-actually Ginny is really taking the good friend's place. Ginny said, I guess it's because you were so natural with her, ..I said "she seems to be so on-target, and not too agitated and although she repeatedly asked for her good friend's whereabouts, for the most part she was fine" (how many times have I heard people say that about Mac )
Turns out and like Mac,...she was not so fine..When she had to be bathed, Ginny played some quiet music to soothe her while she helped the nurse's aide, undress her, then when Ginny stepped out to let the aide continue...apparently all hell broke loose,and the aide came out saying.."you can finish cleaning her - she is swearing and hitting me. I won't put up with that rudeness..So Ginny went back, and finished the job. And there you have it frustration. The same old story, of course knowing the person well is the big key..but
When will nurses and nursing aides have training with elderly people suffering from all types of dementia..Yesterday, another friend told me of her visit to a really aged friend (100 yrs old). She went on to say the nursing aide, was rough, and almost cruel in the way she handled the old lady. Then she added, "you know it's not as if she has Alzheimer's or a type of dementia, she is normal and so clean." Well there's two things we can see here..Really elderly people are unable to be assertive, are weak and often weak voiced. Workers seem to take out their anger or their dislike of the work on these vunerable souls..but secondly, there is the unspoken thought..if one has Alzheimer's its o.k. to be rough or cruel..after all they are scary they get violent..they really have to be put away.
This attitude for both types of elderly peoples has got to change..and the change has got to come through education..of nurses, nurses aides, and the general public. Remember everyone get's old or hopes to; also, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's up to us to make the changes..wherever we can.
I'm suggesting to my friend Ginny, and my other friend that they should take steps - 1. Talk to the Administration when they see this type of attitude. 2. If the nurse or nurse-aide, preposee or whoever exhibits this in front of you..make it clear that you will not accept this and say I will help you to understand, and try to change the scene ..and if it can't be changed..tell whoever that "sorry but this has to be reported."
We had a Corn roast yesterday..I had one cob of corn and had to leave but I noticed all the preposees were having a good time, they seemed to be dancing to the music provided, and at the same time helping to serve the elderly from the buffet table. Well when I spoke to 90 yr old Line tonight, she said I will never go to one of those affairs again, no one helped me, no one brought me any food, and no one even pushed my wheelchair to a table..I could see it would be difficult as The place was very crowded and I could see where this can happen. BUT, tomorrow I will make a suggestion that each preposee be responsible for helping a certain amount of patients and see to it that they do get to be able to enjoy. Maybe nothing will change, but at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing I did try to make a difference.. that may happen to me some day..hey I'm not getting any younger!!! g'nite.
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