On our rather quick walk home- wanting to beat the rain - that's the question mac asked, where do we go now?? Hello?? We had a lovely long walk, had a light supper at our little restaurant and then there we were on our way home; kind of surprising, as this walk i.e. along the lake is something we do just about every day, and then we go HOME, so guess, this is one of the sundown syndrome features..where are we and what are we doing, .but i must say he has improved in this respect that i had almost forgotten the signs of change that come right around that time...keeping him walking, talking, meeting people, and enjoying baseball games, and in some cases soccer games has been keeping the weird and sometimes sad moments that overtake him at sundown at bay...but since that was the only out of context question, i guess he's doing o.k. at sundown time.
One of our new friends here just died on Friday, have not heard how or why, but added to a couple of other sad bits of news, another friend just got the diagnosis of ALS yesterday, she has always been a shaker and mover, told me the news today as she came to pick up my baking for a bake sale...plus another friend's lovely dog finally had to be put down...i know can't think of a dog in the same context, but altogether sad news. These bits of news seem to go over mac's head, he may say - how old was the person and if it's as it is in the case of the person who died, - 84...he says, as he did, well he's old, he's had a good life. i say to him well you've had a good life your 83...this doesn't mean a thing...Mac just does not, really get that he is old...and judging by all the compliments he got today, after his hair cut and beard cut...i guess it really doesn't matter, but it's sad he is unable to share my sadness...he just goes along happily,maybe that's a good thing.
The barber was feeling bad, and said - "he and i used to discuss so many things when i cut his hair, but that's all gone" - it's strange some people can get mac to talk away, yet many who used to have great conversations, with him, like the Barber, are stuck trying to get him to converse, and all mac will say is yes, or no....i really don't know how to change this...he and I are together constantly, so we have our quiet times and our talking times and it's just easy - but of course listening to him at times;as he forgets his train of thought, can't think of a word, or stutters; being sad, not knowing where he is, and becoming completely frustrated, unable to eat properly spilling things, having toilet accidents etc...these are all part of the big A....as i call alzheimers and naturally it's hard, not devastating as it might seem but at times breaks little pieces of my heart but - for me a good day is when just one or two of these incidents take place...and so today was a good day...., and i'm looking forward to a good night...I am so happy he is still alive , still kisses, hugs and loves.to joke at my expense, and still tells me he loves me, so that's enough..g'nite.
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