"When you are old the wind is always in your face" picasso.....well i read that quote somewhere and have quoted it to Mac on so many occasions, as he can't stand the wind...but for sure he got more than a faceful today...although it was a warm wind it was vicious and almost tore our clothes off, pushed us and shoved us all along the path to the lake...That's right we headed for the lake as the Teapot place for seniors is there and that's where we were having our feet 'done" ..toenails, etc...all against Mac's wishes..but in the end he was happy with the results..and as we trooped along - again in the wind - planning to go to the pharmacy and then the IGA grocery store..Mac let out some really great lines..like 'this is a bugger, it's more than a bugger, its Christ jesus I don't know what it is, but it's the worst wind ever....
When we got to the pharmacy to pick up our meds we couldn't get in, the electricity was out and doors couldn't be opened...when we arrived at IGA, no problem, and so out of the wind, and picking up our groceries, i asked mac, to just stay with the cart near the frozen foods, while i raced back to the fish counter...just then, pow all the lights went out...so scuttling back in the dark, i grabbed his jacket and said, 'it's o.k. it's me'...lucky for me it was he ...ha..anyway, after about 15 - 20 min, the lights came on...people were frantic at first and mad as they were not allowed to leave ...understandably, they could take whatever and just go...but all turned out well...by then though we had enough - so we took a taxi the short distance home as we didn't want to battle with the wind plus groceries..
After discussing how good our feet felt after having foot massage, and all that stuff, with our daughter Gaye on the phone, she then spoke to mac, then I guess asked to speak to mom, he never knows who that is, and perhaps she said Jan, and I heard him say "jan- she's not here...she's out there or words to that effect. So I told Gaye, he really doesn't know me...as jan. or for that matter any name. But. sometimes I'm janet...back when he first met me, that is what he knew me as ..but sometimes janet doesn't register either...what does register then...as for sure he always wants ME,i think, is the feeling that is between us...he knows it's there, and as i said to the nurse one night...we're under the same skin...and we are..
I so often feel for him and wonder how he must feel, not knowing where his family are, not knowing who they are, where is his mother, how come I know she died, how come he does not know this...why does it happen that he can't remember things from 5 minutes ago...where are all the people that he sometimes see in this building...so often he will say before he goes to bed, "i guess all those other guys are gone eh?" i always say yes - they have gone to bed, so we should go too. he said that tonight as well, and I answered that way, and it's true, we should go to bed, and that's where i'm heading, to be with him because although he may not know me, i sure know him, g'nite...
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