It looks like sundown syndrome is now sun up as well. That was the question Mac asked me as i was putting his coffee on the table...Do you like this job?? Kind of good that he realizes I do some work around here, but not why, so my answer was, yes I like this job as I really love you....he said, ' I think you are nice too, but you seem to work very hard'...Well i explained - not that hard i do have a cleaning lady every second week..and with that the subject was dropped as he went into early days mode - and St. Henri.
it's interesting that the bully who came to his street when he and others were playing hockey on the road...was his subject again, the story rarely varies, This big kid comes along, new in his neighbouhood and starts to push him around...the other kids seem scared of him, and actually Mac himself was a little frightened as he was much bigger, but he got up the nerve and gave him a good punch or push..and the boy took off - while all the kids were laughing and saying good or bravo...as most of the kids he was playing with were French...
I remarked how interesting it is to see how bullying in our growing up days stays with us even till we are old...the memories stay ..and the memory of how happy he was when he popped that guy ...we then talked about the present time where bullying is talked about in the media and among our friends...but then abruptly the subject was changed to "more coffee please' and looking at the news paper, we continued with gun control and how awful to have guns in the house....
And so the day went on, managed to go for a longer walk - around two blocks - and even to the nearby Zellers..and although he wouldn't take a shower today he has promised to take one tomorrow, if only to have me tell the ClSC, NOT to send anyone to sponge bath him this week.
This evening was a bit of downer time, as he searched his memory, for family, for friends and for someone to phone him, I got 4 calls in a row, as many friends are wondering if he will be placed, how do i feel, and how am i coping; it's very sad and rather heart breaking, not to have him know ME, but he somehow does feel safe and happy with me, and I am happy to be with him, but it's my memories that are hard to take, they are my souvenirs but they cant be shared with him, i'm not really in HIS memory...and i guess i just have to live in my own memories and among my souvenirs...and try to share them, but when they can't be shared then it's - well it's very very sad...but must live in the moment, so i'll sit with him and watch t.v. and cuddle, that's the only way ..g'nite.
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