We had a wonderful day - with all bringing food that was terrific, and conversation that was fun so good for us all to connect - and of course especially fun was seeing our little great grandchild Finley....mac has no difficulty remembering this sweetest baby. Funny it just so happened that at one particular time all five kids were sitting near their dad, so decided that was the time to give him their father's day cards and gifts...but just before that i had given my house keys to my son in law so he could go to our house and fix a cabinet door that was hanging off...i felt that it didn't look good as we are now selling our house...BUT, this put mac into a real tizzy worrying about him having our key especially since the key to our apt was on that ring. So all while we were saying oh look, what neat pants, hey look your favourite shortbread cookies etc. all he could concentrate on was when was Bill bringing the key back etc. so finally Mac finally had the key and all was well. This was kind of sad for us to see but as one of the kids usually say 'it is what it is' and we all concentrate on where he is at this time of his life and enjoy what he enjoys...i.e. the baby, his food, the weather and also let him chat in his own way.
On the way in to our apt. we had all kinds of bags to carry, i was trying to get him to hold one of the bags but finally as he was having a problem to hold it, i was able to put it with the bag i was carrying, so he said 'o.k. junior will not have to carry anything' not so funny but his tone and how he said it sent my daughter Gaye and i into a peals of laughter and a funny hilarious mood. mac sometimes says things in such a funny sardonic way, he always had a kind of off base and weird sense of humour, and still does...which i love.
speaking of which I have discussed mac and his ways with a friend whose husband is in the same position, she called me just last week and we talked again, about our husbands... it's kind of strange these conversations i seem to have..with women and a couple of men, who have moved their husbands/wifes into a safer and more helpful place to live, they then visit periodically i.e. either once a day every couple of days or weekly...since placement was definitely what i had intended to do with mac...they of course, always ask why i decided not to do so. i tell them two things, one...if the positions were reversed, and i were the one in his position, how would i feel being separated - and two, and the most compelling reason is that when i did try to do that, i.e. bring him to a separate place, when i walked back in my house...it was completely empty for me...it was not my home, my home is where my husband Mac is, and so...where we are - is HOME. it means that being with him means more to me than the house, the place, and the people where i lived ; we had a fun and good life there for 50 years, but it's time to move on,
he is still without a good memory, does not understand for the most part what's going on, thankfully he is still fun to be with, walks with me every day, enjoys my cooking, and we have made friends (though for him old and new friends are new friends every time we meet) here in our building, also we still have a social life with friends and family. This is sort of disconcerting and kind of puts the people we meet who have separated from their spouse in a position where they feel they have to explain and explain, but as i told them, everyone is different and every case is different...and also when things get too hard for mac to handle for the most part and where he needs more attention than i can give...then he will be moved to the second floor (lock in area) and i will be able to go down several times a day to make sure he is o.k. But as i always say, this is my choice and though it's not perfect, it's the best thing for us...and also a few others that we know.
So now it's on to dinner in the dining room with our new neighbours...g'nite.
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