Sun streaming in our windows, beautiful fluffy white clouds floating in a clear blue sky, the table all set with breakfast looking great - all Mac's favourites strawberries, peaches blueberries, yogurt on top of cereal swimming in cream, beautiufl, but there is a dark cloud and it's on Mac's face... frown, frown, frown and i knew we wre in for a conversation and it wouild be serious... Sure enough, mac, said, "we have to talk, it's important, "I really can't remember myself as a boy or growing up to this stage in my life' - well my stock answer, Mac, you have memory loss, think of it as a person with amnesia, you just can't remember your past, but you have the moment, this lovely day, let's try to enjoy it...'...."well that's fine but can't you see it's great that it's a lovely day, but who am I, in this day"..
o.k. what's your name??? Alright, so I remember my name, Gordon McConnell, but who am I?? You are Gordon mcConnell, married to me, Janet...or Jan as i'm sometimes called, and you are Gordon or Mac as you are sometimes called, and the name i use when I speak to you....Where is my mom I think she died...yes she did all our families have gone, except for your brother in law, joey, and i still have my cousin in California, Frank...of course you have a cousin too, mabel...yes, yes, but it's a bugger, how do i know - I really don't, I just bluff along, trying to get by but I really don't know where i am , or who I am...
So i repeat the amnesia idea, and try to get him to live in the moment, "you just have to believe me, and trust me - doesn't make sense for me to lie..we are jan and mac mcconnell., look afte we finish breakfast, let's go out for a walk, it will do you good. and so we did...Usually he smiles and waves to everyone we meet in the building, but today his shoulders slumped his head down, and as we went to sign the register, Elena who is so good with him, said "hi sir - how are you today' usually there is a fun answer, but he said, 'lousy, and i said quietly, he's feeling sad today...She came right out of the booth, put her arm around him, and said 'it's o.k. we all feel like that sometimes, we don't know just what is what"...Edith who was going to church with us, age 95, perked right up and came over...saying, "half the time i don't feel so hot either, but no use crying about it"...Well that seemed to help him, we went for a little walk around the park as we waited for the lift.
Well the man came to pick us up, when we got in the car with Edith, he had cheered up, and by the time we got to church i said, well how are you feeling now', he answered. What are you talking about - how should I feel , i'm fine" but I'm not going into church, i'll wait here on the bench - We were so early for church, i suggested we could walk a bit, and did, (walking the best therapy) both of us enjoyed watching a kid around 9 with his skate board jumping over the curb...we would clap and he'd do it again, finally getting near time for church, i said, o.k. coming to sit in the back....no way, it's a nice day, I'll wait outdoors on the park bench in the church yard...(This means i check on him every 20 min, and a couple of sweet people at this lovely little church do it at other times), but as he always says...don't have to check, I'm not going anywhere, i'd get lost...and he definitely would, but i think getting lost in his mind is even worse...so thankfully he has forgotten the episode, but i haven't ...g'nite.
No comments:
Post a Comment