A drizzley day but a good one to walk the mall, which we haven't done in quite awhile. Mac noticed the stores that are now boarded up, and we discussed how and why these stores are closed ..then we wondered about the new stores that they are planning where the highway 30 is in Chateauguay. In fact it was a great on-target conversation...which continued as we had lunch at our fav little restaurant on the river..
with the day in mind when we sat down to have a cup of tea, i said - 'looks like the new restaurant owner won't have too much trouble, they had a good amount of people in the place..Well we had just been there about 2 hours earlier..Mac's reply was, what restaurant...did we go to a restaurant"? Well i went over what we had done in the day, he could not remember any of it. He did of course remember that he had a pension, and we went through the same routine, when why how and now where do we get my money, and should we go to the bank. This routine is so tiresome, but i managed to finally get him over that though i must admit to almost losing it when he said, "you don't have to raise your voice"..
So then the day went on, and he couldn't believe we didn't have supper already, and while we were eating he said, now let's get some things straight...what is the function of that person. Function?? where did that come from..well as the evening went on, his thoughts were more and more confused, and he was thinking that my function was to put the cat to bed in some place on a hill. That perhaps i should drive him home first. So we had to have a little discussion on just what was what.. the discussion lasted through dinner and finally till 7;30..that was a two hour mixture of ideas i was beginning to feel like i was in a kind of guessing game... Do you mean who puts the cat to bed...finally hit the right button yes he said that is the function, but i added you are home I don't have to drive you. oh that's good ....said mac rather doubtfullyu
So this reminded me that he said two days ago...'If I am on the side that doesn't know you as I think I haave been on another side and didn't know you for years...you must remind me that I know you and tell me we are always together on this side. I kind of have the feeling that he is now on that other side..and as he is watching t.v. he will i hope know the routine, and if not i am going to try to remind him, we are together and
on this side...whatever the side, he is home and i'm hoping that he will be able to relax and sleep well...
I can see that more and more his memory is fading and especially by evening...must try to find ways and means to help...i tried showing him some pics of himself, and the family, he said "don't show me pictures...i just have to go in to the bathroom and see my face in the mirror...and say to myself, who is that old bastard ??? he said , I really don't look like myself. i said you are handsome and still attract the girls, the yoga teacher said, wow what beautiful blue eyes you have. of course he can't remember that...and just said, "when was that and anyway, she's nuts or she is not talking about me." That happened this morning, but of course this morning's activity is long gone. So must join him and see if i can make him feel good about himself, so g'nite.
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