Tomorrow we will drop in to a day for Caregivers at 55plus...this word has always bothered me, as I haven't changed my role, I am Mac's wife, so when i get someone in, like i did yesterday - a person who works for Alzheimer's Assoc. she is a Caregiver. I notice that when we or i go to a Support meeting, the leader usually calls us Caregivers...even thought we are wives, husbands, son's and daughters of people with Alzheimers, so i have kind of taken the word in my vocabulary, but it gets mixed with caretaker etc. as it hasn't really sunk in that I am that person.
As I am that word, - Caregiver - I am in favour of the main word that we all have when we do the caregiving and that is LOVE...also as wife or family member it is difficult to have the separate kind of thinking. i.e. talking about the person as if they are a client. This is what Caregivers who are paid, call the person they look after - their client - well Mac is not my client. Even when we were at the Doctor's office, he said - 'i hope you are taking care of yourself', as caregiver it is a tiring role and you should have support"
Well that is true, but it is as a wife that i go to these groups, i guess it's the same but somehow I can't get my head around the term. A Caregiver can be removed from the problem, and talk about the person kind of dispassionately, as in, he is doing very well, he remembered where we went today ...good for him he did the dishes, or whatever.
For me, today, was fine we went on our walk, but i think it will be the last time we go on both sides of the river. I can see how going up the stairs of the train bridge is almost too dangerous, he was tired and almost tripped...the railings are large and there is space between the stairs etc. As a caregiver i think i would be able to say these things and know - well that's the way it goes.. slowly but surely he is losing his balance etc. BUT as his wife, it is so hard, this is where we enjoy life, looking at the river from the bridge height, enjoying the scene from that level etc. but knowing that he cannot do this anymore is for me heartbreaking...so in some ways i wish i could say, I'm a caregiver.
On the other hand, a caregiver comes does the work, spots the problems, decides how to find solutions, and then follows the solutions. For the wife - husband - daughter - son ...the problem is spotted, the solutions are found if they can be found, and certainly they will try to follow the solutions, but this is where the support people help...we are there for each other , we know how hard it is to see our mate, parent, in this kind of situation..we know that it can tear us apart inside...and this is why it is so hard to say 'i am a caregiver' as i am so much more than that...and i'm so thankful, because as the wife i can follow the solution but i can still hug and kiss and LOVE the man, as he is not my client how great that is. - g'nite.
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