Sundown syndrome, is what we discussed today - that is our support group discussed the real syndrome that seems to happen just after six or seven o'clock...in Mac's case as in others they seem to think there should be more people in the house. Tonight mac asked - where is everybody? When i asked - who is everybody, he said 'isn't there others here' i replied no..it's just us the cat and the fishes...same old story same old answer. As i've mentioned before he has to check the rooms and make sure. We also go through the same questions and answers, but tonight I decided to try to head him off, by stating, these are all the rooms in the house up here, bedrooms, t.v. room, office...and then as a clincher I said and just ME..so how about a kiss...he laughed and said, o.k. have you got a dollar. Well his sense of humour is still there, anyway, i got the kiss and he happily went to watch t.v. that is for now...
The support group also discussed the real problem for many - which is when and how to decide to move, it was agreed that one must put the name on the list in case of emergencies, when and who decides when a loved one is too far gone and should be looked after by professionals. We think when the person cannot walk, in other cases, it was when the person could not express his needs, for others when the person is incontinent...
one of the people at the group has a book called Alzheimer's for Dummies. She read out different ideas from which we could all benefit. One of which is a kind of no brainer, but none of us do it ---which is take time to do something just for ourselves..i.e. do not answer emails (do not do finances, return phone calls, check bankbooks call dentists ) or in my case write a blog...just do something for myself...in my case I think i'd like to just read a book for a whole half hour...actually I do that, but it's when i'm in bed, but usually i'm very concious of how Mac is breathing, is he o.k. is he covered and so on.
We as a group feel pressured to reassure our loved one and make sure he or she is o.k. constantly, we know how much they are missing but we should have a life too...Well for one this is very difficult In any case, just getting together with this group once a month is great and I always feel so much better after this day - not alone, but with people who know and experience the same problems some more so than others, but we all know what is coming, and that is where we really need each other.
It is wonderful that i can just leave now without a problem, Mac knows Helen and is quite content and says goodbye easily, and hello when i return...sometimes a little forlorn, or sadly, but most times quite content.
As this is also to do with Mac's memories, I should say he wishes he could meet some Mcconnells to go over the memory of living in St. Henri, he also wishes he could see his mother...but I was humming a song, melody d'amour...then it reminded me that Leslie when he was little boy used to sing that as Melody Gilmore, and I mentioned that to Mac, we both laughed as he remembered Rev. Gilmore, the minister from our earliest days, in fact he married us. That led to a good segment which i think i will continue...don't know if i mentioned I read poetry to him... Well the segment is the story of a boy named Mac, i started it with Once upon a time, mac had his eyes closed as I said the story, so thought oh - he's not listening, but when I said, and he called this girl - janet - a bag...he laughed, and so he was listening...so the story will continue, and so will this blog...g'nite.
No comments:
Post a Comment