Today our support group, at least four that is of us met for a lunch and a talk. All four of us have our down times, and so when we are chatting we try to remind each other how to keep positive...when thinking negative...a point one of the group said was that she was told that she was "in denial" - she brought this up with her psychologist as a negative idea as that is what people seem to say...i.e. being in denial is not a good thing. Well i was so pleased with the remark that the psychologist apparently said...that is, perhaps it is a good thing to be in denial, you will live as you usually live, and enjoy what you usually enjoy and if all is going well, why think negative thoughts.
This is precisely what helped us tonight, as Mac was feeling weepy and sad, he thought he had no place to go, couldn't remember where he was, and therefore said, "i wonder where I will sleep tonight" Well I could have cried with him and felt terrible thinking, this man is lost in his own home - this is terrible...instead, I tried not to weep with him, but smiled and said, "hey come with me...sat him down in his big chair, sat on his knee and said, now I am Jan I sleep with you..and we sleep in our own bed.' It took some time and some positive thinking, to get him to say - yes I guess this is my home therefore I have a bed.."why do I get this way ...I said, well we all feel down sometime and how do you like having a little heavy weight on your knee" well he laughed and said "could think about some lighter weights, but this is fine" i said how about Finley, she is a light weight. Right away, he remembered, that his little great grandaughter is Finley..brightening up immediately we then both of us went into denial...and put the "why do i get this way" out of our heads.
Phoning Valerie to drop by on her way home from the grocery store was a stroke of good luck, she dropped by for some stuff I had and at the same time, surprise, Finley and Brianna were with her. This baby is amazing, smiling and happy she made us go in to deep denial...and for now that is where we will stay...g'nite.
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