Today we attended the Alzheimer's Cafe at the Atwater library, it was pouring rain, so there we were - mac and I - with our dripping umbrella's, and curious minds. We were pleased to see a person playing a keyboard - the music was lovely, and the ambiance too. There was a huge fruit plate, lovely little sandwiches, juice and water...and more important friendly friendly people. Everyone sat around tables talking to their neighbour, and generally waiting for the speaker. I could not tell who were the people with the big A. and who were the caregivers...and I guess that was the same for most of us - but I was most anxious for Mac to meet and speak with someone who had Alzheimers, but of course couldn't do that right away..
The speaker was introduced at 1;30 p.m. her name was Theresa Anuza, m.a. cognitive psychology and coordinator of educational services for the Alzheimer society..she was at one time a caregiver and spoke knowingly from both points of view, the caregiver's and the person who has A. Although, she said so much that made sense and much that probably most of us knew and she confirmed, the one thing that stayed with me as so so true was 'the person with Alzheimers has lost their memory, but has NOT lost their intelligence'. That we should talk about it, learn about it, exchange experiences with this disease, live with it and feel comfortable, and through this process, focus on the life rather than on the illness. Another important point she stressed was never never never never never argue with the person with A. YOU WILL NOT WIN... So far, I have not had this experience, mac generally agrees with me..and even in the most outlandish area, i.e. his $$$ his pension etc, I agree with him..importnt was to keep up the quality of life as much as possible.
The man sitting next to me, told me his wife was too far gone, she would be put in a hospital room as soon as possible, he was completely drained and needed more than respite days. Then in a break time, a woman and man were near us at the food table, introducing ourselves, it turned out the man had A. he and mac shook hands and made comments such as....hmmm so you have that dread disease too ..mac saying well hmmm yes...My advisor at McGill was there - Margie Golick, she said she was there to learn more about the disease - she was impressed with the way the speaker said that Alzheimer's has been a hush hush word and that it HAD to come out in the open..as every 5 minutes a new person has been diagnosed with this disease and it is now growing in epidemic proportions.
Later Mac spoke to another man with A. and the two had a great conversation, I did not listen in, but was speaking to another friend of mine who was there, without her husband who has parkinsons and alzheimers apparently there is definitly a demetia factor included with parkinsons that is similar. We learned that there will be a speaker at the next session on ' driving and Alzheimers' mac has not driven a car in 5 or 6 yrs, as his meds were too strong .. but apparently some people insist on driving, we'll see what they have to say about that. When we were filling in the form that asked us our opinion, Mac said 'my assessment is that we should put VERY GOOD...So that was so terrific... This is a first and I'm hoping not the last time we can meet others and that Mac will feel the same way.. Thanks to the Alzheimer's association and the many volunteers that were there today. look forward to the 3rd Tuesday of each month...mac's watching t.v. but waiting for me..so g'nite.
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