Monday, 22 October 2012

Monday, October 22, 2012 What's on the menu?

Yes "what's on the menu", that is often the question Mac asks me when we've done all the morning wake up stuff, and are just about finishing breakfast.  This is when I outline what we will do in the day, like today for example, it was - 'well we've got to go to the bank, go for a nice long walk, get some stuff at the grocery store, and stop in at the library to bring back my book and get another one' 

That is precisely what we did do today.  It was windy but beautiful, and we both enjoyed seeing that  the water is now falling over the dam.. Hurrah hurrah; it had been dry up until now;  the Canada geese were lining up near the rapids and getting ready to go south, barking at each other like dogs...Mac said they are really smart, we should go south too.  Well i almost fell over..quickly i answered  ' so right let's go, Carolyn wants us to go to Naples Fla.  let's go in February...Then he did a complete about face, "no way I don't want to go to Florida...'well where do you want to go when we go south, i replied.  'Don't want to go anywhere, I was just thinking of flying with the geese or something, no i don't want to go away. 

Well this is the way he is now, and even for him to articulate these sentences is hard, he is starting to have problems with words, along with his physical movements.  I have found out that Social workers have to do different things.  The social worker i contacted, i thought was ours, but seems that we need another one to assess, and another one to do who knows what, plus our doctor is away till nov. 14...so it's kind of disheartening as he really needs to have physio therapy  so i asked that we have the physio we had before who kind of had a heart attack thinking she had to deal with this crabby person and get him to use a cane...he still won't use that but i kind of think of him as he was before all this stuff with social workers etc.

i'm already loving to look at the writings of the old mac... i love him now, and can't stand thinking he is becoming less and less stable and strong as i said even speaking is hard for him at times...but the mac i knew is here, still the sweetest one now--- the strong talking, opinionated and completely brilliant guy in so many ways has gone. i mourn that one as we could laugh at things that didn't make sense to others, we had a rapport that was at times crazy, we would bicker, snicker and at times fight like cat and dog, but that's gone...the sweet guy i have now is also mac at various times but anyway..he is still Mac...he even feels for me and says, you must feel bad about how your husband is now....

When Glenna was with him while i went to the museum, she and he looked at pictures, she pointed out one of his two sisters at our home, and noted one of them was smoking...  he said, mom and I  used to smoke, but one day when we were getting in the car, i said i've got two cigarettes left,  here's one for you and one for me, and that's it, after today, no more smoking...and that is so true...and that's the way he was...he had made up his mind, and that was that....there would be no way that he would say..o.k. what's on our menu...or what do you think should we stop smoking, he knew it was the right thing to do so we were doing it... i'm so happy that he remembered that...now i'm remembering that he is waiting for me to watch t.v. with him...so g'nite.

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