Really tired tonight as though we were just us two, the cat and our new fishies, Mac spent a good part of the night last night, wondering about who all was in the house. At one time, around 2:30, he asked if everyone had left...i said "we are only the same old group in this house Mac, Mischa the cat, Noah and Olivier our two big tropical fish, and the four little fishies that we haven't named...plus you and I...so that's it. no one else.
Apparently this goes with the disease, many times the person with A. thinks there are others in the house,or hallucinates...Mac has not been in that mode, but last night he was restless, and so had questions all night, first it was his wallet, he hoped that was safe, then it was worrying about the cat..was the cat in his basket, then it was other people in the house. and so on and so on. By 4:30 a.m. we were both finally asleep.
But we still had a good day, he with our support person Helen, and of course this is great for me as i was able to get out and about to do various things, here in Chateauguay and in town. thanks to my grandaughter Brianna who gave me a lift to Montreal, as she was going there too. This is day apart is good for both Mac and I, we really appreciate each other once we are back together - even though it is only for one day, Mac always welcomes me back as if I've been away for a month. But then he really thinks it's been that long. one of the things he was saying last night was. 'I know you now - you are my wife janet, and i know you now for about a few minutes to day, but we were apart for so long.
i have to keep trying to get him to enjoy the moment, as he can get very sad about how long we were apart, and then when he realizes it's his own memory that is the reason.... it's so hard for him to accept this. He keeps on saying 'now you or i was away or we were apart and now we're here together, i must make the most of it. Remind me that i know you and you know me. i don't want to be apart. Well neither do i so, i will watch t.v. with him now and live in the moments we have...which for him especially, isn't exactly easy, which makes it not exactly easy for me.'
I know for some this blog is too sad to read, but we do have fun in our day and we do get lots of laughs with the cat, our great grandbaby, listening to music, trying to exercise...i tend to try to stick to his memory, but i should give the lighter side so that it's not all gloom and doom, mac is still fun, and the line that the A. group use which is" remember the person with Alzheimers may have lost their memory but they have not lost their intelligence ...really applies to mac and i'm always surprised at the jokes he comes up with, but never seem to have the time the paper and pencil or the memory myself to write these quick little funny episodes down, but rest assured they are there...so for one he has said ' hey i know you today, maybe i'd like to forget you ha..this as he really knows the problem is his memory and why not joke about it. i'm all for that...so g'nite
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