Tuesday, October 2, 2012 How long were you gone?

We woke up this morning in our usual happy mode, Mac stretching and saying "did you sleep well, I just have to hit the pillow and I'm away'...well as far as I'm concerned this is not always the case, he tossed and turned. but it was all in his Sleep, lucky him as it kept me awake worrying.  Apparently it is one of the features of Alzheimers that they do move in their dream, the rest of us think we are moving in our dream but we are not moving. 

Speaking of dreaming, i had a very important dream the other night, it seemed so real, i dreamt that I had to bring something to our house, i had spoken to Gaye on the phone (in the dream) and said, o.k. I will get the item (can't remember what it was) and so then i left our house to get the item, went to a kind of store, picked up whatever, and was returning, and couldn't find the way home.  I went up and down all kinds of streets, then someone came to help...they would say, is this your home,  no no i would say...and each time my tummy would contract, then i got into a horror situation, couldn't remember my home number, my street, and finally my name, i was in complete terror, and then woke up...Well needless to say this dream gave me so much insight as to how it must be to always wonder where and who you are ...and it made me think this morning about the dream as mac said....after his happiness of sleeping well...

"where are we, are we in our house, who is there with us' ...I answered as I usually do but with much love and understanding, how awful to not know for sure where you are every day. 

Though later in the morning, i had to leave it was my day to be on my own, the once a week when Helen comes to help by being Mac's caretaker...They had quite an eventful day including two walks, one where poor mac walked in Doggie Doo, and his shoes had to be cleaned plus the whole front balcony...and this happened to be a day when i was later than usual returniong home, having attenened a new - support group -
It took quite awhile to get Mac to interact, he fell asleep for an hour after helen left, and even then he was not sure of me...and then he said 'how long were you gone', i said well "quite long, from 10 to 4;30...he said "it was  too long.'...I understand completely...and am so happy to be home with him now...so g'nite.