There are worse things in the world than Alzheimers Disease I guess, but only if the person having the disease can still enjoy the sun, the lakes and rivers, trees, and all nature. This is the degree where Mac is in the spectrum of the disease...soo it's certainly not all bad. When I put out my hand to help him out of the deck chair in the back yard...he said "shall we dance" and we proceded to do a few waltz steps..then he kissed me...this is my memory of today...and also another memory in direct opposite ...he asked me just 20 minutes ago...'do you have a sister?' i answered, yes I had one, Ellen remember, we were Ellen and Janet
Mergler...then I married you and became Janet McConnell...."well that I don't remember" said my charming
dance partner.
Today I connected with the lady whose husband is in Champlain because he is too disabled with the disease, plus has cancer...she is so pleased now, one of her children has come to visit for a time with her. When we chatted we discussed the three other men whose wives we know - like her they visit their husband there, every second day, and sometimes every day at the Champlain Residence..
Where will Mac go and will he go there or will I get another person in to help me with being a care giver. These were my thoughts as we went through the day. Mac continues to be able to walk well, especially after we do walk, as if he sits for too long he stumbles and kind of bumbles along...and as we walked today we checked into a residence on Verdure Ave. where we had our name listed in the past. Turns out that they have degrees of just how far gone one has to be before they will accept or not accept.one with A...but looking at the situation or the apartments, it really didn't bother me, as at this point cannot consider moving.
So my next thought is to I get a person in to help occasionally now so as to be prepared for the future - this is a consideration, and I will connect with the A. association to get some idea about this choice.. One thing is important apparently and that is to have a person for respite..not only for a day, that I have, but for other times as well. The A. suggest that family members take time and turns do this as it is a way of keeping connection with the parent; of course this does not mean not having a helper..but we are not at this time desperate..as I mentioned, Mac is still fun to be with, and I do not mind the multitude of repetitous questions, it's our conversation and hey there are couples that never communicate...we sure do.
So here I am, back - we've had a good day obviously or I wouldn't be here...so must join my dance partner now....he's waiting.
Thursday 30 August 2012
Friday 24 August 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012 When do we get the cat
I'm just writing a short note tonight as it's getting more and more difficult to be on-line. Each night the probem of how to make Mac feel comfortable and 'at home" - when he doesn't know he is at home, doesn't know who is who...doesn't know where we are...who we are who is here with us, and is it just us.
When do we get the cat, is the main question..as he knows when the cat - who is out on the leash, comes in, which is usually around 9;15 p.m. we watch t.v. together, and then the weather, we then feed the cat and go to bed. The t.v. news used to be able to keep him occupied while i was on the computer, but it is not working, he seems to need me there more and more, so I'll come back to this blog sometime when Mac is more comfortable, who knows it could be tomorrow or next week or never. keep tuned. g'nite.
When do we get the cat, is the main question..as he knows when the cat - who is out on the leash, comes in, which is usually around 9;15 p.m. we watch t.v. together, and then the weather, we then feed the cat and go to bed. The t.v. news used to be able to keep him occupied while i was on the computer, but it is not working, he seems to need me there more and more, so I'll come back to this blog sometime when Mac is more comfortable, who knows it could be tomorrow or next week or never. keep tuned. g'nite.
Thursday 23 August 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012 I have a question for you
This is the time of questions, early in the morning, then after dinner....during the day, we're busy, and we seem to get to various places, or have company. Today a company day, enjoyed our friend, and had a great lunch ....mac interacted with her and she found him to be on target in so many cases, and funny at times as well.
Evening and the questions start with - i have a question for you? Didn't i have a sister janet...no Mac, I'm Janet, and you had 5 sisters, their names were starting from the youngest, Florence, Violet, Gertie, Maimie, Muriel, and of course your brother John. Well who are you...I'm your wife, remember? Now what's my name, ...Your name is Janet, but I'm Gordon McConnell, oh you are Janet McConnell, - Yes mac - i'M YOUR WIFE, JANET. Wait now, do you have a record of that...Well let's go for a walk and talk about it, didn't we go for a walk today... yes mac we did, we're going again..(this I find a good distraction) The distraction did not work, we walked for about 45 min even took in part of a girl's baseball game, but the questions continued...When did we get married, and so on. We have kids??? I answered all questions, and he would say, o.k. but ten days ago, did you know me, or did I know you...who can help us. i should mention sometimes in all this he gets really funny, can't remember the jokes but thankfully they are there BUT.
This is very sad and upsetting for him, he said, I hope I sleep and don't think about this all night...well I certainly hope not...he is usually a good sleeper..we'll see. now he is prowling around up here checking the bed room and myself, and of course the cat. When are you going to feed him, i said 10;00 p.m. as usual..
Well life is not perfect, and after seeing the friend whose husband is in Champlain Residence ..and how lonely she is and sad, I am definitely his wife, and happy to be so..we'll have to just live and enjoy the good moments, as I'd rather have him right here....g'nite.
Evening and the questions start with - i have a question for you? Didn't i have a sister janet...no Mac, I'm Janet, and you had 5 sisters, their names were starting from the youngest, Florence, Violet, Gertie, Maimie, Muriel, and of course your brother John. Well who are you...I'm your wife, remember? Now what's my name, ...Your name is Janet, but I'm Gordon McConnell, oh you are Janet McConnell, - Yes mac - i'M YOUR WIFE, JANET. Wait now, do you have a record of that...Well let's go for a walk and talk about it, didn't we go for a walk today... yes mac we did, we're going again..(this I find a good distraction) The distraction did not work, we walked for about 45 min even took in part of a girl's baseball game, but the questions continued...When did we get married, and so on. We have kids??? I answered all questions, and he would say, o.k. but ten days ago, did you know me, or did I know you...who can help us. i should mention sometimes in all this he gets really funny, can't remember the jokes but thankfully they are there BUT.
This is very sad and upsetting for him, he said, I hope I sleep and don't think about this all night...well I certainly hope not...he is usually a good sleeper..we'll see. now he is prowling around up here checking the bed room and myself, and of course the cat. When are you going to feed him, i said 10;00 p.m. as usual..
Well life is not perfect, and after seeing the friend whose husband is in Champlain Residence ..and how lonely she is and sad, I am definitely his wife, and happy to be so..we'll have to just live and enjoy the good moments, as I'd rather have him right here....g'nite.
Wednesday 22 August 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012 i'm ok now
Good day for the most part...visiting our lil greatgranbaby..Finley made it special, even though poor sweetie was not well, looks like a summer virus so the doc says...hope she will be better soon. This a.m. she was the one name he could remember - always with so much happiness.
As usual our walk always gives us both so much pleasure, and especially with the weather perfect; but we met a friend whose husband was one that Mac used to know, this man was with Mac in high school, and it used to be a treat for both to talk about those days..but now it seems that neither would know each other. This woman said he is now in Champlain Residence, has Alzheimers - and has very little memory, although she says he remembers her most days - she visits him evey day. I thought that Mac might comment on this as he said he vaguely remembered the man's name, but it soon faded from his mind. BUT not from my mind, she was crying as she hugged me goodbye, and when I asked if she had been to a Support group through the A. assoc. answered no. I will phone her and give her the info as certainly the A. assoc is a must for all who have anyone with this disease in the family or among their friends.
Just having the brochure Dispelling the myths re; Alzheimers is one of the benefits. The followng is one myth that is dispelled - Alzheimer's disease is preventable, Reality - there is no single teatment, but the growing amount of evidence that lifestyle choices that keep mind and body fit help to reduce the risk..so also i feel is ...keeping active while having the disease is a great benefit...our walking and talking helps both of us and this fact is also apparent to the doctor - who has mentioned that Mac does well with this regime...
Anyway, must go but a short spell of confusion only this evening, and then Mac said 'i'm o.k. now, wonder why i get these spells", - well we know why...g'nite.
.
As usual our walk always gives us both so much pleasure, and especially with the weather perfect; but we met a friend whose husband was one that Mac used to know, this man was with Mac in high school, and it used to be a treat for both to talk about those days..but now it seems that neither would know each other. This woman said he is now in Champlain Residence, has Alzheimers - and has very little memory, although she says he remembers her most days - she visits him evey day. I thought that Mac might comment on this as he said he vaguely remembered the man's name, but it soon faded from his mind. BUT not from my mind, she was crying as she hugged me goodbye, and when I asked if she had been to a Support group through the A. assoc. answered no. I will phone her and give her the info as certainly the A. assoc is a must for all who have anyone with this disease in the family or among their friends.
Just having the brochure Dispelling the myths re; Alzheimers is one of the benefits. The followng is one myth that is dispelled - Alzheimer's disease is preventable, Reality - there is no single teatment, but the growing amount of evidence that lifestyle choices that keep mind and body fit help to reduce the risk..so also i feel is ...keeping active while having the disease is a great benefit...our walking and talking helps both of us and this fact is also apparent to the doctor - who has mentioned that Mac does well with this regime...
Anyway, must go but a short spell of confusion only this evening, and then Mac said 'i'm o.k. now, wonder why i get these spells", - well we know why...g'nite.
.
Tuesday 21 August 2012
Tuesday August 21, 2012 language papers where are they
This morning wake up time wasn't so pleasant, Mac was completely disoriented, kekpt asking in a strange voice, language papers, where are they..Today my day to go out, so I sort of put those plans on the backburner, and decided to concentrate on helping Mac get the confusion out of his mind, ....
Actually i try to have back up plans as it's supposed to be good for me to
get out..it is i guess, but Mac was so disoriented, didn't
know my name, his name, where we were, who, what etc...confusion reigned
...eventually after much patience and explaining, we got it together. it
seems t be our house, he finds it too big in a way...although it's not
that big- it's basement -main floor downstairs and bedrooms upstairs; he
always thinks there are people living downstairs, and so on. and where are
we, where does the cat go...- one good thing he did get it all in order
before i left, and even was clear as to who Helen was - which is the woman
who comes on Tuesdays...good that he likes her is completely at home with
her...we followed instructions re; Alzheimer's assoc. as to how to get this
kind of trust..and it worked... so he knows her very well. Thankfully i
could leave, when I returned home 5 hours later, he had explained his
confusion to Helen, and all seemed to be well. and so far so good. Good
for him and of course also good for me.
now it's difficult to be online, as I just said o.k. if i'm online, he said, sure of course...5 minutes..always the joker but g'nite must go.
----- Original Message -----
Actually i try to have back up plans as it's supposed to be good for me to
get out..it is i guess, but Mac was so disoriented, didn't
know my name, his name, where we were, who, what etc...confusion reigned
...eventually after much patience and explaining, we got it together. it
seems t be our house, he finds it too big in a way...although it's not
that big- it's basement -main floor downstairs and bedrooms upstairs; he
always thinks there are people living downstairs, and so on. and where are
we, where does the cat go...- one good thing he did get it all in order
before i left, and even was clear as to who Helen was - which is the woman
who comes on Tuesdays...good that he likes her is completely at home with
her...we followed instructions re; Alzheimer's assoc. as to how to get this
kind of trust..and it worked... so he knows her very well. Thankfully i
could leave, when I returned home 5 hours later, he had explained his
confusion to Helen, and all seemed to be well. and so far so good. Good
for him and of course also good for me.
now it's difficult to be online, as I just said o.k. if i'm online, he said, sure of course...5 minutes..always the joker but g'nite must go.
----- Original Message -----
Thursday 16 August 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012 Can you tell me???
Waking up with Mac is so far always a pleasure, he enjoys the process of discussing just where we are, and what we will do... Then it's time to have breakfast - and start the day. But, he is starting the day now with
Can you tell me, when did we move here..and where is this place ..so today I tried to go back in time and talk about where we had Leslie, our oldest son..we were living in an apartment on Barclay..oh yes I kind of remember he said .. I said, do you remember that after the taxi ride to the Catherine Booth hospital, the doctor told you to leave - he would call you when the baby was born..he expected that it would not be for at least 12 more hours...Well Les was born 7 hours later which was early Oct. 8, by two in the afternoon visiting hours, i said, - you came into the room, I was so happy to be able to see how your reaction would be to the son you wanted. Surprise, when I said, are you happy, you answered 'why" Poor you, either the doc did not call, or you were asleep, but how happy you were, so much so you cried, and ran to the room to see baby Leslie... This brought back some happy memories, of Leslie, who by age two insisted on having a shower like daddy, no baths for him. So this was the start of a pleasant day
Sad to say, evening brought on the usual can you tell me- are you my wife, how come my mind is like this, but he is much more curious as to how this could be, and not in the panic crying mode which upset us so a few evenings ago. So we have spent time tonight looking at pictures - they do not seem to mean too much, Though pics of himself as a child stir up some memories...sad to say not one picture of myself gives him any kind of recognition...but strangely he does recognize or thinks he does know my parents by their pic.
I'm putting this in this post for those who know people with Alzheimer's because they will see that they are not alone in this situaion...and to add that it is a big help to discuss and listen to music, and try to talk about what you will do in this moment and perhaps tomorrow. g'nite.
Can you tell me, when did we move here..and where is this place ..so today I tried to go back in time and talk about where we had Leslie, our oldest son..we were living in an apartment on Barclay..oh yes I kind of remember he said .. I said, do you remember that after the taxi ride to the Catherine Booth hospital, the doctor told you to leave - he would call you when the baby was born..he expected that it would not be for at least 12 more hours...Well Les was born 7 hours later which was early Oct. 8, by two in the afternoon visiting hours, i said, - you came into the room, I was so happy to be able to see how your reaction would be to the son you wanted. Surprise, when I said, are you happy, you answered 'why" Poor you, either the doc did not call, or you were asleep, but how happy you were, so much so you cried, and ran to the room to see baby Leslie... This brought back some happy memories, of Leslie, who by age two insisted on having a shower like daddy, no baths for him. So this was the start of a pleasant day
Sad to say, evening brought on the usual can you tell me- are you my wife, how come my mind is like this, but he is much more curious as to how this could be, and not in the panic crying mode which upset us so a few evenings ago. So we have spent time tonight looking at pictures - they do not seem to mean too much, Though pics of himself as a child stir up some memories...sad to say not one picture of myself gives him any kind of recognition...but strangely he does recognize or thinks he does know my parents by their pic.
I'm putting this in this post for those who know people with Alzheimer's because they will see that they are not alone in this situaion...and to add that it is a big help to discuss and listen to music, and try to talk about what you will do in this moment and perhaps tomorrow. g'nite.
Wednesday 15 August 2012
Wednesday, August 14, 2012 Life in the slow lane...
Thinking about our memories was rather fun tonight as we sat out till mosquito time...Mac managed to go back to his days in Elementary school, Louis Evans, even remembering the school closed when he was also finished i.e. Grade seven. We discussed where he went then, Boys high School or Montreal High School , how it was practically THE only high school at that time...then on to how he was a stick boy with the Royals then with The Chicago Black Hawks..the fun of being able to go to the Forum, say hi to some man at the door - whose name he couldn't remember..then on to the team dressing rooms. He even was able to check out the hockey sticks and if they weren't perfect he got to bring them home. He broke in new skates for the players by putting them on and skating around the Forum during practice time.
Then he looked up at our house..."this is when everything becomes a blur" when did we get here...who owns this house.." We do ...i said, Oh do you pay the taxes...how much..I replied we both do and we both pay taxes - both here and at the cottages up north. Well he said, all that's a blur, so remembering the kind of breakdown he had over his memory a few evenings back. I decided to lighten the conversation by distracting him - saying think the mosquitoes are bothering Mischa...You are right...also I'm kind of bushed - he said, "think we should get in...did we have a long walk today? - well for sure i said, we were out from 1;00 to 4:30...just chugging along slowly looking at the herons ducks the domesticated geese...and the sad state of the river which is slowly going down in water level. Even the dam is all dry...can't believe that.
Well said Mac "that's life in the slow lane, and it's pretty good don't you think", at this time, I agree .
g'nite.
Then he looked up at our house..."this is when everything becomes a blur" when did we get here...who owns this house.." We do ...i said, Oh do you pay the taxes...how much..I replied we both do and we both pay taxes - both here and at the cottages up north. Well he said, all that's a blur, so remembering the kind of breakdown he had over his memory a few evenings back. I decided to lighten the conversation by distracting him - saying think the mosquitoes are bothering Mischa...You are right...also I'm kind of bushed - he said, "think we should get in...did we have a long walk today? - well for sure i said, we were out from 1;00 to 4:30...just chugging along slowly looking at the herons ducks the domesticated geese...and the sad state of the river which is slowly going down in water level. Even the dam is all dry...can't believe that.
Well said Mac "that's life in the slow lane, and it's pretty good don't you think", at this time, I agree .
g'nite.
Tuesday 14 August 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 Such a good Evening
Wonderful walk tonight - as we didn't walk during the day..as it's my day to go in town. We had a lovely time when we came home with our daughter Glenna, who made the rest of the day and our dinner such a pleasure. We are usually alone and Glenna always has such a store of info about her trips etc. plus such a great help with our lovely cat Miischa, who wouldn't even be our cat if it wasn't for Glenna who found him on the street, loved him as a little scrawny kitten, cleaned him up and then presented him to us. She continues to care for him, cutting his nails, and grooming..so then Mac and I love to discuss our cat and his beginnings, also how great it is that she does this as we sure could not.. He is a toughie and hates to be groomed etc.
Getting back to the walk, it is as I've mentioned, so great to be with Mac as he loves the sun. When the sun is slowly sinking in the west, he watches carefully through the trees, and delights so much in watching as we walk..look at the reflection he'll say, look at that window, look at that cloud, turn around look at the clouds over there, they have rays shining from them. Watch the sun looks like a fire behind that tree...this just as we walk the walking path through two areas, and on the way back we enjoy the dog owners and their dogs, stopping to pet them and discuss dog stuff. Although we did stop with Susanna and her dogs and although we discussed her two lovely dogs, we did get into a discussion with her boyfriend Michael on the situation in Quebec - politics used to be Mac's favourite topic, sad to say he didn't get involved, no longer can he give an opinion and be up to date and beyond; even though he watches the news on t.v.///
Should mention here, that he no longer reads, writes, or has a favourite radiio station, talk show host or even t.v. leaves him cold ...What he enjoys most are the leaves, the sun, nature, the river, ducks ,music and best of all little children, and of course our wonderful baby which we discuss her doings just about every day...She is only 7 mos.and already we think she is the smartest...he has a special book with pictures that Gaye made and this he does look at and enjoy, also tries to read the captions..
Time for the weather forecast we do watch that...and enjoy weather talk, and hurrah there were not problems re sundown and down and down in his thinking...we're on an up turn..yay...or is it yea..gnite.
Getting back to the walk, it is as I've mentioned, so great to be with Mac as he loves the sun. When the sun is slowly sinking in the west, he watches carefully through the trees, and delights so much in watching as we walk..look at the reflection he'll say, look at that window, look at that cloud, turn around look at the clouds over there, they have rays shining from them. Watch the sun looks like a fire behind that tree...this just as we walk the walking path through two areas, and on the way back we enjoy the dog owners and their dogs, stopping to pet them and discuss dog stuff. Although we did stop with Susanna and her dogs and although we discussed her two lovely dogs, we did get into a discussion with her boyfriend Michael on the situation in Quebec - politics used to be Mac's favourite topic, sad to say he didn't get involved, no longer can he give an opinion and be up to date and beyond; even though he watches the news on t.v.///
Should mention here, that he no longer reads, writes, or has a favourite radiio station, talk show host or even t.v. leaves him cold ...What he enjoys most are the leaves, the sun, nature, the river, ducks ,music and best of all little children, and of course our wonderful baby which we discuss her doings just about every day...She is only 7 mos.and already we think she is the smartest...he has a special book with pictures that Gaye made and this he does look at and enjoy, also tries to read the captions..
Time for the weather forecast we do watch that...and enjoy weather talk, and hurrah there were not problems re sundown and down and down in his thinking...we're on an up turn..yay...or is it yea..gnite.
Monday 13 August 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012 There should be something for this...
Another day of walking and talking..actually we're content when we walk, and enjoy so much...thankfully because now it looks like evenings are down times for Mac..almost unbelievable how the change comes as before supper he is up - happy and joking, I couldn't stop laughing as he went from one scenario to another, how he would love me, when he would and why he would. No one could believe your 80 he says, well I've got news for you ...everyone knows I'm eighty, but hey go ahead, keep right on complimenting me it's great...
Then a fun time as we discuss food and enjoy our dinner and then boom it's down time...why am I having this problem. How come no one explains what is happening to me...There should be something for this... our doctor must be lousy...find someone do something..You are my wife? When, you didn't tell me, no one tells me anything..When did you tell me..." OK Mac, i showed you Gaye's book for you, see all your kids, see our wedding pic...NOW you show me this...No you saw this half an hour ago you were looking at it an wanted it off the table, No way, he says...never, you should get something, you should know that there is something wrong, and a doctor should be able to fix it in some way.
He is so right, there should be some way to fix it...but there isn't ----somehow I got a brainwave and started playing some music that was just right for the moment. Louis Armstrong singing, Give me a kiss to build a dream on - an oldie we used to like...got him a glass of gingeale, a cookie and he said, look don't make a fuss, don't let people make a fuss...I'm o.k. tomorrow is another day.. We will live in the moment...so just give me a kiss to build a dream on. T.V. news was off we just sat and thought - music turned off, I said now it's time for the meds that is supposed to help in some way...Well we'll see - but don't worry Janet you are my wife, and don't think about it, have a good night sleep, ...you too darling Mac.
Then a fun time as we discuss food and enjoy our dinner and then boom it's down time...why am I having this problem. How come no one explains what is happening to me...There should be something for this... our doctor must be lousy...find someone do something..You are my wife? When, you didn't tell me, no one tells me anything..When did you tell me..." OK Mac, i showed you Gaye's book for you, see all your kids, see our wedding pic...NOW you show me this...No you saw this half an hour ago you were looking at it an wanted it off the table, No way, he says...never, you should get something, you should know that there is something wrong, and a doctor should be able to fix it in some way.
He is so right, there should be some way to fix it...but there isn't ----somehow I got a brainwave and started playing some music that was just right for the moment. Louis Armstrong singing, Give me a kiss to build a dream on - an oldie we used to like...got him a glass of gingeale, a cookie and he said, look don't make a fuss, don't let people make a fuss...I'm o.k. tomorrow is another day.. We will live in the moment...so just give me a kiss to build a dream on. T.V. news was off we just sat and thought - music turned off, I said now it's time for the meds that is supposed to help in some way...Well we'll see - but don't worry Janet you are my wife, and don't think about it, have a good night sleep, ...you too darling Mac.
Sunday 12 August 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012 Sundown Down and down
We spent a great day with our good friends, Moe, Nina their two children Amanda and Emily. After a kind of scattered lunch - which we made while talking and viewing our precious grt grandchild Finley - her mom and grandmom.who dropped in for a few min..we left for our lovely Ile St. Bernard...we were all blown away with the beauty and ambiance of this magical place.
BUT, for Mac, it was one more place to try to figure out...hmmm just where are we...up north??? Chateauguay??? oh we're still in Chateauguay, but we drove here...???Well after sundown, this is another riddle to work out in his mind. Later as we were watching a documentary on Elvis Presley, that was a surprise, he remembered Elvis...but just before that he asked me now 'just who are YOU...I said - you didn't remember ME, but remembered Elvis...well he said, you told me it was Elvis...anyway, i just hummed and laughed as Elvis was singing Blue Suede Shoes...then I said, hey you used to wear Blue suede shoes...you were quite the cool dude. Well said Mac, I'm happy you remember, you can tell me all about myself.
O.K You were handsome, wonderful, wore cool clothes, like blue suede shoes, light blue sports jacket, navy shirt, and light blue pants...wow...I must look for a picture - but then it's probably in black and white.
Now he said, I wear whatever you put out for me. Well most of your clothes you wear now are really cool too, as they are picked out for you by your kids, they love to give you clothes for birthdays and christmas etc.
oh, said Mac we have kids, you bet I said,...five kids, we'll get the book Gaye made for you and look at them again. he said, i know the mother what's her name and the baby, i said, right Brianna and Finley, they are they part of my kids, ? We saw them today...I said, that's right they are your grandchild and great grandchild. o.k. said mac, I'll watch the news now. is the cat in?
We'll go over it all again and again, but for now it's time to watch the end of the news with him - feed the cat, and cuddle up with the cool dude..then he'll remember ME.
BUT, for Mac, it was one more place to try to figure out...hmmm just where are we...up north??? Chateauguay??? oh we're still in Chateauguay, but we drove here...???Well after sundown, this is another riddle to work out in his mind. Later as we were watching a documentary on Elvis Presley, that was a surprise, he remembered Elvis...but just before that he asked me now 'just who are YOU...I said - you didn't remember ME, but remembered Elvis...well he said, you told me it was Elvis...anyway, i just hummed and laughed as Elvis was singing Blue Suede Shoes...then I said, hey you used to wear Blue suede shoes...you were quite the cool dude. Well said Mac, I'm happy you remember, you can tell me all about myself.
O.K You were handsome, wonderful, wore cool clothes, like blue suede shoes, light blue sports jacket, navy shirt, and light blue pants...wow...I must look for a picture - but then it's probably in black and white.
Now he said, I wear whatever you put out for me. Well most of your clothes you wear now are really cool too, as they are picked out for you by your kids, they love to give you clothes for birthdays and christmas etc.
oh, said Mac we have kids, you bet I said,...five kids, we'll get the book Gaye made for you and look at them again. he said, i know the mother what's her name and the baby, i said, right Brianna and Finley, they are they part of my kids, ? We saw them today...I said, that's right they are your grandchild and great grandchild. o.k. said mac, I'll watch the news now. is the cat in?
We'll go over it all again and again, but for now it's time to watch the end of the news with him - feed the cat, and cuddle up with the cool dude..then he'll remember ME.
Saturday 11 August 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012 now when did all this start?
Perhaps it was the change of venue, up north, then back home, but Mac has been asking questions about his condition, especially tonight. Getting down to the basement to look at his office, checking out the laundry room, and trying to put things in perspective. He remembered that he was off base last night, and this morning also; as he was asking me where I spent the night as I was certainly NOT in bed with him...so tonight after dinner he wanted to have a session to check just what is what around here.
So first it was the house, is it all our's and there are three floors, no one else shares this house, but who was here this morning. I clarified that for him by explaining that Gaye's husband Bill stayed with him while we, Gaye Valerie and i attended a funeral. That seemed to open up a kind of flood gate. He wanted to know now just when did this memory, or relationship problem start. Like, when did you first notice I didn't know my relatives. When did I stop knowing my own family, like my mother - oh i know her I recognize her, but what about my brother...my sisters...I explained and we went on from there to his own family, his children, and then he asked ....What started all this - how did you or the doctor know I had this problem? Why did we go to a doctor in the first place. Wow this was amazing he was so consistent and on-target in his questioning now.
I said, well it started about 5 or 6 years ago that we noticed you were driving erratically, actually your friend Owen - from Australia, insisted we go to the doctor...after driving home from the country with you...he said, to me ...you must go to the doctor... So we did...o.k. so what did the doctor do to prove that I had a problem. He gave you tests, with simple questions, such as what is your address, where are we right now...and you were able to answer all questions quite well...actually perfectly well..but over the years, you have been unable to answer many of the simpler questions, therefore your meds have increased. Why is it important that he know that I know my address for petes sake. Well i answered for one thing if you are out somewhere and don't know your own address you can get lost...for that matter i added do you know your phone number....hmmm said Mac i see what you mean.
Well give yourself a break, i sai, you've done very well , why don't we go up and watch some t.v.////Boring said Mac, I think i should concentrate on trying to remember...I'm going to go over all the pictures and we will try to get my mind working so i know more, or understand what's going on. For the most part you do understand what's going on, but you have difficulty remembering the past...That's right i have that big gap, where I don't remember how we lived ...it's really strange..but I said you do remember today do you and you remember Bill this morning..and Valerie was here...and Gaye...well yes - and you remember Finley...our great grand baby... of course, he said, that is right NOW...but I'm going to try to improve my memory.
This is an interesting and perhaps a little plateau we've reached where he is more cognizant of his own condition therefore will try to make it something he can work on in some way...perhaps through talking and then trying to remember what we talked about...will stop this blog and see if he remembers what he has just gone through with me - it's been about one hour...we'll see if he remembers the conversation. I don't think he will...will let you know.
So first it was the house, is it all our's and there are three floors, no one else shares this house, but who was here this morning. I clarified that for him by explaining that Gaye's husband Bill stayed with him while we, Gaye Valerie and i attended a funeral. That seemed to open up a kind of flood gate. He wanted to know now just when did this memory, or relationship problem start. Like, when did you first notice I didn't know my relatives. When did I stop knowing my own family, like my mother - oh i know her I recognize her, but what about my brother...my sisters...I explained and we went on from there to his own family, his children, and then he asked ....What started all this - how did you or the doctor know I had this problem? Why did we go to a doctor in the first place. Wow this was amazing he was so consistent and on-target in his questioning now.
I said, well it started about 5 or 6 years ago that we noticed you were driving erratically, actually your friend Owen - from Australia, insisted we go to the doctor...after driving home from the country with you...he said, to me ...you must go to the doctor... So we did...o.k. so what did the doctor do to prove that I had a problem. He gave you tests, with simple questions, such as what is your address, where are we right now...and you were able to answer all questions quite well...actually perfectly well..but over the years, you have been unable to answer many of the simpler questions, therefore your meds have increased. Why is it important that he know that I know my address for petes sake. Well i answered for one thing if you are out somewhere and don't know your own address you can get lost...for that matter i added do you know your phone number....hmmm said Mac i see what you mean.
Well give yourself a break, i sai, you've done very well , why don't we go up and watch some t.v.////Boring said Mac, I think i should concentrate on trying to remember...I'm going to go over all the pictures and we will try to get my mind working so i know more, or understand what's going on. For the most part you do understand what's going on, but you have difficulty remembering the past...That's right i have that big gap, where I don't remember how we lived ...it's really strange..but I said you do remember today do you and you remember Bill this morning..and Valerie was here...and Gaye...well yes - and you remember Finley...our great grand baby... of course, he said, that is right NOW...but I'm going to try to improve my memory.
This is an interesting and perhaps a little plateau we've reached where he is more cognizant of his own condition therefore will try to make it something he can work on in some way...perhaps through talking and then trying to remember what we talked about...will stop this blog and see if he remembers what he has just gone through with me - it's been about one hour...we'll see if he remembers the conversation. I don't think he will...will let you know.
Tuesday 7 August 2012
Tuesday, August 7,2012 Time to take stock
Rereading my blog from last night it looks like everything happened quickly .i.e. the loss of knowing who i was and then the regaining of his knowledge of myself etc...well it didn't actually happen that fast, in fact it was a soul searching and crying session, and wondering 'what the hell is happening to me' why am i not understanding, who you are...where are my kids, who are they when do we see them and on and on....the situation was in crisis and i was lucky to be able to connect with the doc, and get meds...which seem to have helped...today we went over yesterday's scenario, although it is mostly myself talking about this and mac saying...please keep saying tome " who am i'... then he would joke and say some funny name, but he realizes the seriousness of his disease and it's really hard to take...and last night it was so hard to see him in the state he was in and so we do have to face some facts...
Today on my day away had lunch with two wonderful friends, one of whom told me about friends of hers who have gone through this same kind of scene, and apparently the husband had many such attacks or episodes of this nature, and both were more and more effected, in fact the woman had a nervous breakdown, this also happened to two of the women in my Alzheimer support group...Well, on reading up on all this..it seems that having this day away is a good thing, well i can vouch for that it is a life saver, it puts things in perspective and even though some of the perspectives are terrribly sad, like the husband who had such attacks is now in a residence and seems to be o.k. though does'nt know his wife, she visits and is much more stable. Well much as i do not want to even think about THAT...it may and probably will happen,
Seems that someone out there is trying to tell me this as on our walk this evening we met another good old friend now in residence for seniors, she told us of another couple - whom mac doesn't remember but i do, he is in a residence for alzheimers - can't walk, in a wheelchair and needs to be fed...the only bright light in this is that he seems to be quite content, in fact although he doesn't know his wife he smiles when she comes and so on and so on, it got depressing...but i must take stock of things...realize it will happen, BUT, live one day at a time...
This day was terrific, this evening is great, and tonight we are jan and mac, happy as clams...g'nite.
Today on my day away had lunch with two wonderful friends, one of whom told me about friends of hers who have gone through this same kind of scene, and apparently the husband had many such attacks or episodes of this nature, and both were more and more effected, in fact the woman had a nervous breakdown, this also happened to two of the women in my Alzheimer support group...Well, on reading up on all this..it seems that having this day away is a good thing, well i can vouch for that it is a life saver, it puts things in perspective and even though some of the perspectives are terrribly sad, like the husband who had such attacks is now in a residence and seems to be o.k. though does'nt know his wife, she visits and is much more stable. Well much as i do not want to even think about THAT...it may and probably will happen,
Seems that someone out there is trying to tell me this as on our walk this evening we met another good old friend now in residence for seniors, she told us of another couple - whom mac doesn't remember but i do, he is in a residence for alzheimers - can't walk, in a wheelchair and needs to be fed...the only bright light in this is that he seems to be quite content, in fact although he doesn't know his wife he smiles when she comes and so on and so on, it got depressing...but i must take stock of things...realize it will happen, BUT, live one day at a time...
This day was terrific, this evening is great, and tonight we are jan and mac, happy as clams...g'nite.
Monday 6 August 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012 Two of us back on target now.
Think I have mentioned in another blog about the problems that happen at sundown, apparently, those who have Alzheimers seem to forget or become anxious around that time. Well it had never really happened to any great extent, although it is clear that during the night mac is often off target, and does not always remember just where he is..this happened even when we are home all winter, and did happen up north this past weekend.
During the night he had to go to the bathroom, so i followed to make sure he knew just where he was going give him any support he may have needed i.e. - where the light switch is - etc. Well all went well till he got to bed, then just as i was making sure he was covered and about to give him a kiss...wow, what a shock - he said, " scram, bugger off"...So boy i did...then bit later i said 'you o.k.' he answered 'yes - but why are we whispering' ...i pointed out we were not the only ones in the cottage, Gaye was in the next room. oh that's right, he said, quite content and drifted off to sleep.
Next day, i told him what happened...he couldn't believe it..kept saying 'you are the last person i would say something like that to...are you sure i said that'....well for sure you did, but by that time, we found it funny and kept saying it...scram, bugger off, and then we'd laugh.....but...
Tonight after dinner i was clearing dishes off the table, and he came into the kitchen and said 'Do you know where my wife is' ? Well...i said, I'm your wife...he said, What's your name...i answered janet...janet mergler...' well what's your real name now...'"i answered, Janet McConnell...Are you sure that's your name? Well by then I was really becoming upset, i said, look the doctor called to say I could have your med's upgraded and he left the prescription at the drug store...so I'm getting it...' Then all of a sudden Mac said, good, cause now I see YOU are JANET what the heck is going on, what's wrong with me...i said remember you have lost so much memory, you only remember the kids when they are with us for a good bit of time. You don't remember them unless I tell you, but so far you have always remembered me...
He said, good, keep asking me "what's my name"... this I say on a regular basis, and sometimes he makes a joke, you're huck finn, etc...and I say don't joke mac as sometime you may forget...Well tonight for sure he
did.
Well, the scenario after that got really sad we were both in tears and hugging, and i was too shaky to go for his meds and the pharmacist said she was sorry but no delivery after 4;00...i was absolutely a basket case and couldn't drive...after phoning around to various kids in the family,who either were not home or no car etc, and inbetween, answering a couple of calls from friends who seem to also be having a problem, i finally got hold of our sweet grandaughter Brianna, who was at her dad's. she left immediately and went for the meds - she and her super boyfriend lorne and our fab great grandaughter Finley all were at the door with the medicine, hugs and kisses..even as I write this i'm shaky. not a basket case, but thank God we are on target NOW...
During the night he had to go to the bathroom, so i followed to make sure he knew just where he was going give him any support he may have needed i.e. - where the light switch is - etc. Well all went well till he got to bed, then just as i was making sure he was covered and about to give him a kiss...wow, what a shock - he said, " scram, bugger off"...So boy i did...then bit later i said 'you o.k.' he answered 'yes - but why are we whispering' ...i pointed out we were not the only ones in the cottage, Gaye was in the next room. oh that's right, he said, quite content and drifted off to sleep.
Next day, i told him what happened...he couldn't believe it..kept saying 'you are the last person i would say something like that to...are you sure i said that'....well for sure you did, but by that time, we found it funny and kept saying it...scram, bugger off, and then we'd laugh.....but...
Tonight after dinner i was clearing dishes off the table, and he came into the kitchen and said 'Do you know where my wife is' ? Well...i said, I'm your wife...he said, What's your name...i answered janet...janet mergler...' well what's your real name now...'"i answered, Janet McConnell...Are you sure that's your name? Well by then I was really becoming upset, i said, look the doctor called to say I could have your med's upgraded and he left the prescription at the drug store...so I'm getting it...' Then all of a sudden Mac said, good, cause now I see YOU are JANET what the heck is going on, what's wrong with me...i said remember you have lost so much memory, you only remember the kids when they are with us for a good bit of time. You don't remember them unless I tell you, but so far you have always remembered me...
He said, good, keep asking me "what's my name"... this I say on a regular basis, and sometimes he makes a joke, you're huck finn, etc...and I say don't joke mac as sometime you may forget...Well tonight for sure he
did.
Well, the scenario after that got really sad we were both in tears and hugging, and i was too shaky to go for his meds and the pharmacist said she was sorry but no delivery after 4;00...i was absolutely a basket case and couldn't drive...after phoning around to various kids in the family,who either were not home or no car etc, and inbetween, answering a couple of calls from friends who seem to also be having a problem, i finally got hold of our sweet grandaughter Brianna, who was at her dad's. she left immediately and went for the meds - she and her super boyfriend lorne and our fab great grandaughter Finley all were at the door with the medicine, hugs and kisses..even as I write this i'm shaky. not a basket case, but thank God we are on target NOW...
Sunday 5 August 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012.. Party - what party?
Well we're back from another lovely time at the lake, weather was perfect, and with the rain today, a perfect day to leave. Going to the lake with one or the other of the family, or a friend is important as we cannot go on our own and we both love being there.
One of the main reasons to be there was to celebrate 3 August birthdays in our large family; and the party was super, with most of the family and an additional two friends - one of which is a walking comedian and had us laughing constantly, this was such fun. I mentioned to Mac today after we were home, how fun the party was, and how much Paul the friend made us laugh. Well he couldn't remember Paul, and as for the party, party? he said, what party?
So I didn't go there, but i did show him his prize possesion he received this weekend; which is a book our daughter Gaye made for him. This she had made for his Father's day gift but only received it recently..it is pictures which we have on the piano and in different places but altogether in a book form. He loves to look at it and the explanations of who is who in the book are simple and straight forward - the print very large. he looks at it often and keeps saying, this is terrific, what a good idea. he always makes sure it is in its plastic envelope and enjoys looking at it again and again. He makes comments, like, mmm there are a few questions i have ..like - who is that man, well it's a neighbour we're not sure of...but that's your sisters and brothers before you were born, oooh i see. I recommend something like this for anyone with the A. disease it seems to ground mac and make him fell great.
have to go as mac is waiting plus mischa the cat...tomorrow's episode, will include the word's scram and bugger off hmmmmm
Well he is waiting for me now, but tomorrow's episode will be
One of the main reasons to be there was to celebrate 3 August birthdays in our large family; and the party was super, with most of the family and an additional two friends - one of which is a walking comedian and had us laughing constantly, this was such fun. I mentioned to Mac today after we were home, how fun the party was, and how much Paul the friend made us laugh. Well he couldn't remember Paul, and as for the party, party? he said, what party?
So I didn't go there, but i did show him his prize possesion he received this weekend; which is a book our daughter Gaye made for him. This she had made for his Father's day gift but only received it recently..it is pictures which we have on the piano and in different places but altogether in a book form. He loves to look at it and the explanations of who is who in the book are simple and straight forward - the print very large. he looks at it often and keeps saying, this is terrific, what a good idea. he always makes sure it is in its plastic envelope and enjoys looking at it again and again. He makes comments, like, mmm there are a few questions i have ..like - who is that man, well it's a neighbour we're not sure of...but that's your sisters and brothers before you were born, oooh i see. I recommend something like this for anyone with the A. disease it seems to ground mac and make him fell great.
have to go as mac is waiting plus mischa the cat...tomorrow's episode, will include the word's scram and bugger off hmmmmm
Well he is waiting for me now, but tomorrow's episode will be
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