Well yes it's Christmas I told Mac, for about the 4th time, as many of the preposee's wished us a Merry Christmas as we left the 2nd Floor...had to repeat what they said and that was Mac's question. I could have told him that even while we were having turkey and so many other wonderful things to eat at our daughter Gaye's home, but it really wouldn't stick. Which is just as well as just as the memory of the day is gone quickly, so would the memory of something that did stick, a piece of turkey. In a way my fault, I forgot to keep telling him to chew, the food was so good he just kept on eating and I kept on feeding him...and all of sudden, he was choking, I called out "hey we need to have the Heimlich manevour (sic) - must look up the spelling, anyway. it was awful..Glenna tried and I was patting his back (wrong) then Martin quickly grabbed Mac around the chest (he has had training), and just like that - the food came out. Mac was deathly pale, but gradually after much spitting and then relaxing the colour came back to his face.. o.k. Lesson learned here. Mac forgot the whole episode after 10 minutes but I know this could have been the end. In fact I know that one of my cousins actually died from choking on food, so for sure I will not forget -
So though Christmas was fun and in more ways than one, this one will be remembered- actually it will be remembered as well because of a discovery of a card sent to Mac in 1981 by a member of the United Church in Chateauguay. Christmas eve I was cleaning up, and placing some books neatly on a shelf when the card came out - fell on the floor. When I read the message it was so heartwarming it MADE my Christmas. She was commenting on the fact that Mac would no longer be treasurer for the St. Andrews Church Sunday School, (in those days they actually had quite a few kids in the Sunday School.) In any case she said that she asked her son if he had enjoyed Sunday School, and he remarked that Mr. McConnell was his Sunday School teacher when he was about 12 or 13 and was the only teacher he ever had that knew what he was talking about.
Well I'm sure Mac said the things that I remember and that is Jesus was a great teacher, - was he the son of god, well that was another thing, but his teachings were worthwhile and that is why Mac felt this man Jesus was a prophet that one could emulate and follow.
Mac was never a Church Man per se - in fact he left the church many years ago now, as he felt that he could not stay where he felt the teachings of Jesus really were not very prominent among the leaders or elders of the church we attended. I argued that no one really could be that good - but Mac insisted there were certain guide lines that were basic and even those were bent..so that was that.
Now I agree with him, although for me doing social justice work is something that is part of the mandate of many churches and this is something that I could, at that time, really participate in - and in fact Mac also did work for human rights through the United church human rights committees - but one would never see him IN church.
So it was a kind of gift from the past to read this card, and it's clear that he is still a person that people respect and love, as so many of the staff here and of course all of his family clearly were able to demonstrate today - by wishing him a Merry Christmas - hugging him and loving him. When I got him washed and into bed, I also hugged and kissed him and said Goodnight, Merry Christmas, and the same goes to you the readers of this blog, g'nite Merry Christmas.
Thursday 25 December 2014
Sunday 21 December 2014
Sunday, December 21, 2014 I'll stay right here....
A friend checked with me to see what happened - did I make a decision to move Mac or would I leave him on the second floor. Well I don't remember if I mentioned that I spoke to the nurse - Bassim _ on the second floor about the problem of the zoom zoom wheelchairs and moving Mac. He said that I should leave Mac on the second floor as if I put him in a room on the other floors (think they are the 3rd and 4th)..preposees will check on him but he will be by himself. Mac kind of enjoys "the gang" as he calls all the people on the second floor, also he enjoys the solarium - sitting in the sun, and the entertainment that they do have two or three times a week. So I have decided to give it more time. Also, I decided before I leave I will ask the preposees and the nurse to please check the "wheelchair wonders", not just Mac.
Today I gave it a real good try, I left for Church around 10:30, told Mac don't go walking around, stay here by the Christmas Tree and watch the action going on around here, he answered "Ill stay right here"..Brititta the Swedish woman said she would be with him.. Well when I returned he was not right there - he was in another chair altogether quite a distance from where I left him - but then I returned at 1:30, so not surprising he had moved. I do leave my cell phone #, and I hoped any problem and I would get a call. Actually, apparently no problems he ate all his lunch, and was quite content when I returned. Obviously I can't take it for granted that this will always be the case, but for sure he is NOT going to stay right there. There was one little problem, he would not take his synthroide tablet, apparently he spit it out twice, but I'm sure his missing the pill one day is not going to do harm hopefully.
In the meantime he was fine the rest of the day..but sad to say my friend, a 90 year old woman and her husband who has a type of dementia - vascular dementia, which is much like Alzheiomers was in bad shape with Brocitis and very sad as her husband is not eating and just sleeps ...she said "I fear he is dying".. He is 92, so perhaps, but as I told her, Mac was not eating for almost 4 weeks, lost about 35 lbs, was not talking - sleeping - but recovered and now the milkshakes and boost that I was trying to get him to take are a thing of the past. He walks better, talks better, eats well, and seems to enjoy. BUT, we that is I have to remember - one day at a time, and not project or anything like that. just be happy in the moment.
In fact last evening he was enjoying the moments of watching his great grand daughter Finley, he and I would pass a look and smile at her funny little ways, when all of a sudden he turned quite belligerent, and seemed to think that there was something wrong with her and her mom ..and got quite snarky, luckily it was time for bed, so all while I was getting him ready, i.e. brushing teeth, washing etc. he was the crabbiest I've seen him for quite awhile..so as we know, enjoy the good times while they last.
That goes for us all, so a good day, so good night xx
Today I gave it a real good try, I left for Church around 10:30, told Mac don't go walking around, stay here by the Christmas Tree and watch the action going on around here, he answered "Ill stay right here"..Brititta the Swedish woman said she would be with him.. Well when I returned he was not right there - he was in another chair altogether quite a distance from where I left him - but then I returned at 1:30, so not surprising he had moved. I do leave my cell phone #, and I hoped any problem and I would get a call. Actually, apparently no problems he ate all his lunch, and was quite content when I returned. Obviously I can't take it for granted that this will always be the case, but for sure he is NOT going to stay right there. There was one little problem, he would not take his synthroide tablet, apparently he spit it out twice, but I'm sure his missing the pill one day is not going to do harm hopefully.
In the meantime he was fine the rest of the day..but sad to say my friend, a 90 year old woman and her husband who has a type of dementia - vascular dementia, which is much like Alzheiomers was in bad shape with Brocitis and very sad as her husband is not eating and just sleeps ...she said "I fear he is dying".. He is 92, so perhaps, but as I told her, Mac was not eating for almost 4 weeks, lost about 35 lbs, was not talking - sleeping - but recovered and now the milkshakes and boost that I was trying to get him to take are a thing of the past. He walks better, talks better, eats well, and seems to enjoy. BUT, we that is I have to remember - one day at a time, and not project or anything like that. just be happy in the moment.
In fact last evening he was enjoying the moments of watching his great grand daughter Finley, he and I would pass a look and smile at her funny little ways, when all of a sudden he turned quite belligerent, and seemed to think that there was something wrong with her and her mom ..and got quite snarky, luckily it was time for bed, so all while I was getting him ready, i.e. brushing teeth, washing etc. he was the crabbiest I've seen him for quite awhile..so as we know, enjoy the good times while they last.
That goes for us all, so a good day, so good night xx
Thursday 18 December 2014
Thursday, December 18, 2014.. Oh I'm so happy....
"Oh I'm so happy you're back, cried Mac, as he almost leaped up from his chair to grab my hand in two of his and almost wept. I had left him for an hour and a half on the second floor, as I had to go for groceries. What's up, what happened, but before I could even say the words he was telling me in such a clear way, "I was almost knocked down, when I walked, the ladies were pushing their chairs. (he meant their wheelchairs)into my legs. With that he was showing me the ladies. There are two zoomers - I call them one is Yella Yella, the other is the lady that cries constantly for her children or she is cleaning the walls with her handkerchief. They really are dangerous and it's apparently against the law to make them stay put. I understand as it's also a given that those with the big A who walk, should be able to walk around as much as they wish. In Mac's case he really doesn't want to walk to wander, he is looking for me.
At that time most of the clientele were sitting watching a person singing on t.v. there in the solarium and all looked very tranquil. I went over to the preposee who was leaning against the wall watching them. I was rattled so spoke English, she told me she could not speak English, she was a replacement and sorry, but she couldn't understand me. Well I raked my memory for frightened, - found it - perdu I think anyway, she understood that Mac was almost terrorized and wanted to leave immediately. I was just about in tears to see him like that. So immediately went to the director who happened to be just coming out of her office. She said, that's it, we must move him to another floor.
Well now I'm on the horns of a dilemma, as for the most part, Mac kind of likes sitting among those people...often says there's the gang. I spoke with Bassim the head nurse who is on duty from 3 to 11 most days..and discussed the situation. He said as far as he is concerned Mac is better off on the 2nd floor, everyone has a problem with the wheelchair ladies, but they cannot be reined in, they have to feel free. (Though why they should be free to yell so much is another story, I didn't go into that)Apparently, if Mac is on another floor he will have to sit in a room by himself, there is not solarium. and he will be looked in on by the preposee a set times. Of course he said, most of the day he is with you anyway, - which is true. The main reason I have him down there is nights and in the day he is here with me. So no I'm wondering what would be best - I really don't think I could leave him for a short time all by himself in his apt. or even in ours, so I guess, I will run down early and speak with the director early and try to get some kind of an idea.
One of which is that he loves to be in the lobby, perhaps I can ask the girl on the desk to keep an eye on him - or maybe not..oh damn, Bassim says that he really does have better care on the second floor, and that he just had an off day today in that he was walking around so much. He said I should try to tell him to just sit till I return. I know Mac can do that, but I guess he felt I was gone too long. I do have Debbie and Cecilia for longer periods. Maybe I should make sure that someone watches the zoomers before I go that may be the answer..anyway, stay tuned.
The pluses are Mac is eating well, sleeping well, and has been on target, still will not get his hair washed. Has had one bad scene with a preposee in the morning, and has a cut and bruise to prove it..I really want him to have at least one session a day that doesn't require me. I'm supposed to look after myself as well and at the moment my lower back is not the best..so how do I react to all this..well 40% of your mind is how you react and take care of things; the other % is based on the results of your reactions...and of course things that one has no control over. So I will try to let go and let God, or the Universe or whatever 'g'nite.
At that time most of the clientele were sitting watching a person singing on t.v. there in the solarium and all looked very tranquil. I went over to the preposee who was leaning against the wall watching them. I was rattled so spoke English, she told me she could not speak English, she was a replacement and sorry, but she couldn't understand me. Well I raked my memory for frightened, - found it - perdu I think anyway, she understood that Mac was almost terrorized and wanted to leave immediately. I was just about in tears to see him like that. So immediately went to the director who happened to be just coming out of her office. She said, that's it, we must move him to another floor.
Well now I'm on the horns of a dilemma, as for the most part, Mac kind of likes sitting among those people...often says there's the gang. I spoke with Bassim the head nurse who is on duty from 3 to 11 most days..and discussed the situation. He said as far as he is concerned Mac is better off on the 2nd floor, everyone has a problem with the wheelchair ladies, but they cannot be reined in, they have to feel free. (Though why they should be free to yell so much is another story, I didn't go into that)Apparently, if Mac is on another floor he will have to sit in a room by himself, there is not solarium. and he will be looked in on by the preposee a set times. Of course he said, most of the day he is with you anyway, - which is true. The main reason I have him down there is nights and in the day he is here with me. So no I'm wondering what would be best - I really don't think I could leave him for a short time all by himself in his apt. or even in ours, so I guess, I will run down early and speak with the director early and try to get some kind of an idea.
One of which is that he loves to be in the lobby, perhaps I can ask the girl on the desk to keep an eye on him - or maybe not..oh damn, Bassim says that he really does have better care on the second floor, and that he just had an off day today in that he was walking around so much. He said I should try to tell him to just sit till I return. I know Mac can do that, but I guess he felt I was gone too long. I do have Debbie and Cecilia for longer periods. Maybe I should make sure that someone watches the zoomers before I go that may be the answer..anyway, stay tuned.
The pluses are Mac is eating well, sleeping well, and has been on target, still will not get his hair washed. Has had one bad scene with a preposee in the morning, and has a cut and bruise to prove it..I really want him to have at least one session a day that doesn't require me. I'm supposed to look after myself as well and at the moment my lower back is not the best..so how do I react to all this..well 40% of your mind is how you react and take care of things; the other % is based on the results of your reactions...and of course things that one has no control over. So I will try to let go and let God, or the Universe or whatever 'g'nite.
Sunday 14 December 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014 There are some real nuts there.....
Mac was so on target this morning, when I went down to get him; he was very busily eating his toast, drinking his orange juice - rejecting his cornflakes and checking out if there was enough sugar in his coffee and also quite clear in his manner and thinking. When I asked if he'd like to come upstairs for another cup of coffee, he quickly said "sure" then turned the chair, stood up - took my hand and as we walked out, he said - "you know what, there are some real nuts here!". He no sooner said that when one of the ladies grabbed his hand and kissed it. (Her name by the way is Maureen and she is such a nice lady) she also said, "you are such a nice man"..I said, to Mac, don't think she'd like to be called a nut. He said - well not her..but it is so true it can be bedlam in there at times.
But it never fails the times that I write about Mac doing well in one area, for sure the next time it's sure to change, as for instance, yesterday we both very happily went down to the hair dresser for a shampoo. I mentioned that I'd get mine first like last time and then he'd have his shampoo. Right, said Mac until we got in to the salon. At that time a very old lady also suffering from the big A. was having a hair cut. Well she yelled and cried almost like our Walter, who usually cries oy oy oy..Mac said - what's going on there. I said, "she doesn't like getting her hair cut. Don't worriy, We're just getting our hair washed". Mac answered very calmly, "not me" "Well yes you are, we already discussed it, I'm getting my hair wsshed then you are". Mac just looked at me and shook his head NO. That was that, each time we - the hair-dresser or myself tried different ways of making it a "no sweat idea" to have a shampoo, Mac wouldn't give us the benefit of even answering, he would tighten his lips and just shake his head emphatically NO!!
So that was that, no shampoo. I now have the little tray for the sink, from the CLSC' just have to get a kind of shampoo hose for the tap, and I guess I'll be washing his hair myself drat. As for other items I've mentioned, i.e he has trouble feeding himself, that changes with each meal, sometimes he can handle a fork or spoon, other times hasn't got a clue. This morning he walked to his chair when we came up after breakfast, sat down no problem, tonight he couldn't even see the chair..so who knows. One thing is sure and that is one can never be SURE about anything.
That also goes for the staff, one day I'm so happy that they are making sure he gets his meds at the same time every day, and other times like last night and tonight, I had to run around to find the night nurse to get his bedtime pill..then had to wake him up to give him the damn thing. I get really fed up at these times, but then I think "get a life", Mac is my raison d'etre, what would I do if I was all alone..funny thing that's what Mac used to say to me,. only in reverse I was his raison d'etre, and he'd add "I just have to put up with you".
Today received a form email from the Alzheimer Association, reminding us that we should remember the Walk for Memories,hmmm I've already forgotten the date, think it was May 31, 2015, but I did remember to copy and paste this:-
In the name of 33,000 Montrealers living with Alzheimer’s disease we are thanking the Legends of the Montreal Canadians for their support over the past 22 years.
Imagine 33,000 people in Mtl. have the big A. and every 5 minutes someone else in the world is being diagnosed with this awful affliction. Well on a more positive note..I'm receiving emails constantly with new ideas and new meds, and hearing of new research, so although it may not help Mac, I'm hopeful that soon there will be a breakthrough. Has anyone with the disease had help from Jarrow Formulas Prerostilbene..that is the latest I've heard about ..will check that out soon. Not tonight, I'm on my way to bed, g'nite.
But it never fails the times that I write about Mac doing well in one area, for sure the next time it's sure to change, as for instance, yesterday we both very happily went down to the hair dresser for a shampoo. I mentioned that I'd get mine first like last time and then he'd have his shampoo. Right, said Mac until we got in to the salon. At that time a very old lady also suffering from the big A. was having a hair cut. Well she yelled and cried almost like our Walter, who usually cries oy oy oy..Mac said - what's going on there. I said, "she doesn't like getting her hair cut. Don't worriy, We're just getting our hair washed". Mac answered very calmly, "not me" "Well yes you are, we already discussed it, I'm getting my hair wsshed then you are". Mac just looked at me and shook his head NO. That was that, each time we - the hair-dresser or myself tried different ways of making it a "no sweat idea" to have a shampoo, Mac wouldn't give us the benefit of even answering, he would tighten his lips and just shake his head emphatically NO!!
So that was that, no shampoo. I now have the little tray for the sink, from the CLSC' just have to get a kind of shampoo hose for the tap, and I guess I'll be washing his hair myself drat. As for other items I've mentioned, i.e he has trouble feeding himself, that changes with each meal, sometimes he can handle a fork or spoon, other times hasn't got a clue. This morning he walked to his chair when we came up after breakfast, sat down no problem, tonight he couldn't even see the chair..so who knows. One thing is sure and that is one can never be SURE about anything.
That also goes for the staff, one day I'm so happy that they are making sure he gets his meds at the same time every day, and other times like last night and tonight, I had to run around to find the night nurse to get his bedtime pill..then had to wake him up to give him the damn thing. I get really fed up at these times, but then I think "get a life", Mac is my raison d'etre, what would I do if I was all alone..funny thing that's what Mac used to say to me,. only in reverse I was his raison d'etre, and he'd add "I just have to put up with you".
Today received a form email from the Alzheimer Association, reminding us that we should remember the Walk for Memories,hmmm I've already forgotten the date, think it was May 31, 2015, but I did remember to copy and paste this:-
In the name of 33,000 Montrealers living with Alzheimer’s disease we are thanking the Legends of the Montreal Canadians for their support over the past 22 years.
Imagine 33,000 people in Mtl. have the big A. and every 5 minutes someone else in the world is being diagnosed with this awful affliction. Well on a more positive note..I'm receiving emails constantly with new ideas and new meds, and hearing of new research, so although it may not help Mac, I'm hopeful that soon there will be a breakthrough. Has anyone with the disease had help from Jarrow Formulas Prerostilbene..that is the latest I've heard about ..will check that out soon. Not tonight, I'm on my way to bed, g'nite.
Tuesday 9 December 2014
Tuesday, December 9, 2014 Where do you live...
Questions like - where do you live, Do you know where your mother is, I would like to go to my home do you know where it is..all are part of Mac's thinking process as well of course mine..answers are not easy..I try to take it stride, but it's really sad. All those questions were asked this evening. I decided to change the scene so we went down for a walk around the main floor. While there one of the residents was trying to go out, she wears a bracelet that causes ringing if she gets near the door, which automatically locks the door..a regular person was trying to get in. Of course it only took seconds for the person on the front desk to press a special button to then open the door. Margaret, the person with the big A, who was trying to get out then asked, I'm trying to go home, but I've no idea how to get there.
All this to say it is rather lonely, there are many people here who do not have the big A, and many as well, who are in various stages..and although I go out with friends, in fact I guess I get out at least for an hour or two every day - it is just impossible for me to explain that even when I do go out, or meet friends (which is often)I feel alone. This is apparently very common, as it comes up in our conversation at the Alzheimer's Support group. One lady when asked just what she thought would help, answered, "I want my husband back" and that of course is the problem, we want the impossible, and yet our husbands and wives are at home with us and yet they are not really.
When I was getting Mac ready for bed, Walter's son was there - Walter is the man who shares the room with Mac. He - the son - was saying his dad seems to be less and less on target. adding not like your husband. Well this is the way so many people think that Mac is so with it and are really surprised when he can't answer simple questions, like... did you enjoy your supper. He can't remember if he had supper unless he is having supper when the person asks.
Brigitte the woman I like to have Mac sit with(when I leave) also gives an impression that she understands completely, the preposee, said she seems really confused today. Well she is confused every day, but sometimes she says the right thing at the right time. Her son was visiting tonight and
that he says is one of the things that gives him some hope but then as he continues to converse with her he realizes she is "with it" now and again and it doesn't last for more than 2 minutes.
I know I can't change things, I can't get my husband back, I love the husband I have right now, but the lonely feeling is always there and that can't change, I wish the feeling would go away, but it never does...I think of the words to that old song
"I'm a little on the lonely, a little on the lonely side..I keep thinking of you only and wishing you were by my side, you know my dear when your not here theres no one to romance with..and so it goes in one part to say every letter that you wrote me I read a hundred times or more..and that's me, I keep reading old journals to read what he said, what he did, and read a couple of his old letters..but I know I should be happy that I've had so many years and appreciate that. So many people are lonely and never did have a partner, or someone to love so I'll just have to shape up and enjoy the fact that I do have him, he may not be the same but he is still with me. So I'll end this kind of sad tale and go to bed so I'll be up early and happy to see him in the morning. g'nite
All this to say it is rather lonely, there are many people here who do not have the big A, and many as well, who are in various stages..and although I go out with friends, in fact I guess I get out at least for an hour or two every day - it is just impossible for me to explain that even when I do go out, or meet friends (which is often)I feel alone. This is apparently very common, as it comes up in our conversation at the Alzheimer's Support group. One lady when asked just what she thought would help, answered, "I want my husband back" and that of course is the problem, we want the impossible, and yet our husbands and wives are at home with us and yet they are not really.
When I was getting Mac ready for bed, Walter's son was there - Walter is the man who shares the room with Mac. He - the son - was saying his dad seems to be less and less on target. adding not like your husband. Well this is the way so many people think that Mac is so with it and are really surprised when he can't answer simple questions, like... did you enjoy your supper. He can't remember if he had supper unless he is having supper when the person asks.
Brigitte the woman I like to have Mac sit with(when I leave) also gives an impression that she understands completely, the preposee, said she seems really confused today. Well she is confused every day, but sometimes she says the right thing at the right time. Her son was visiting tonight and
that he says is one of the things that gives him some hope but then as he continues to converse with her he realizes she is "with it" now and again and it doesn't last for more than 2 minutes.
I know I can't change things, I can't get my husband back, I love the husband I have right now, but the lonely feeling is always there and that can't change, I wish the feeling would go away, but it never does...I think of the words to that old song
"I'm a little on the lonely, a little on the lonely side..I keep thinking of you only and wishing you were by my side, you know my dear when your not here theres no one to romance with..and so it goes in one part to say every letter that you wrote me I read a hundred times or more..and that's me, I keep reading old journals to read what he said, what he did, and read a couple of his old letters..but I know I should be happy that I've had so many years and appreciate that. So many people are lonely and never did have a partner, or someone to love so I'll just have to shape up and enjoy the fact that I do have him, he may not be the same but he is still with me. So I'll end this kind of sad tale and go to bed so I'll be up early and happy to see him in the morning. g'nite
Thursday 4 December 2014
Thursday, December 4, 2014 You must feel lucky....
Lovely sunny morning, Mac up and eating his breakfast when I went into the dining room he is always a happy camper when the sun is out and so he greeted me with a smiling face. When I sat down beside him to help him I said isn't it a beautiful day..he answered yes "You must feel lucky to be working in such a nice place..." Well how about that. ! Kind of chuckled to myself, and replied - yes it is a nice place, and I like the people, especially you. He just smiled and continued eating. I know for some this answer might make them unhappy, but for me, I'm so pleased that he likes the place and that he feels so comfortable.
I just want to go back to Tuesday - I had to go to a Alzheimer's support group meeting and while there had a call from Deb our caregiver, poor Deb had quite a rough time, he was having his lunch and choked on a piece of chicken meat. She quickly pulled the emergency cord - and when there was no immediate answer she gave him the Heimlich maneuver - had to do it three times and he finally spit it out..Wow, she was a bit of a wreck. She called to let me know that she did get the nurse finally who then checked to make sure his ribs were o.k. and then his blood pressure, all was o.k. and within minutes he had forgotten all about the episode. Poor Debbie sure didn't, and as she said people will be sure to tell you about it when you return. So right they did, in fact the first thing the woman at the desk said- was Mr. Mac was choking ..he is o.k. now I think. I let her know Deb called. Three others on the 2nd floor let me know also..so as you can see they care.
With that in mind I tried today to leave him while I went for groceries down with the workers there and all went well, though he did say - "hey where were you - you were gone too long. I said have to do a few things and it's pretty cold out and icy, do you want to go..NO he said, so fine he got over it, then I tried again at dinner time to go to a cinq a sept for the Grandmothers of Africa...when I returned he was sitting with Brigitte the woman I place him with when I leave, they were having a good talk. He just looked at me when I sat beside them and said, hello, and continued his chat with her. Well that made me feel great, he certainly seems to be adjusting. Later when I spoke to my friend whose husband has the big A. and told her how happy I was, she said she cannot stand to see her husband with another woman in the place he is in. Well that's silly as she only goes to visit him twice a week, she should be pleased he's adjusting..but then, we are all different. I know at this time anyway, as long as I keep loving him he will still love me and that's the bottom line, whether he knows who I am or not. The feeling is still there.
When I returned at 7:30, this evening - got him ready for bed, kissed him goodnight said, see you in the morning..sat and read my book till he fell asleep contented - therefor, I have to be too so g'nite.
I just want to go back to Tuesday - I had to go to a Alzheimer's support group meeting and while there had a call from Deb our caregiver, poor Deb had quite a rough time, he was having his lunch and choked on a piece of chicken meat. She quickly pulled the emergency cord - and when there was no immediate answer she gave him the Heimlich maneuver - had to do it three times and he finally spit it out..Wow, she was a bit of a wreck. She called to let me know that she did get the nurse finally who then checked to make sure his ribs were o.k. and then his blood pressure, all was o.k. and within minutes he had forgotten all about the episode. Poor Debbie sure didn't, and as she said people will be sure to tell you about it when you return. So right they did, in fact the first thing the woman at the desk said- was Mr. Mac was choking ..he is o.k. now I think. I let her know Deb called. Three others on the 2nd floor let me know also..so as you can see they care.
With that in mind I tried today to leave him while I went for groceries down with the workers there and all went well, though he did say - "hey where were you - you were gone too long. I said have to do a few things and it's pretty cold out and icy, do you want to go..NO he said, so fine he got over it, then I tried again at dinner time to go to a cinq a sept for the Grandmothers of Africa...when I returned he was sitting with Brigitte the woman I place him with when I leave, they were having a good talk. He just looked at me when I sat beside them and said, hello, and continued his chat with her. Well that made me feel great, he certainly seems to be adjusting. Later when I spoke to my friend whose husband has the big A. and told her how happy I was, she said she cannot stand to see her husband with another woman in the place he is in. Well that's silly as she only goes to visit him twice a week, she should be pleased he's adjusting..but then, we are all different. I know at this time anyway, as long as I keep loving him he will still love me and that's the bottom line, whether he knows who I am or not. The feeling is still there.
When I returned at 7:30, this evening - got him ready for bed, kissed him goodnight said, see you in the morning..sat and read my book till he fell asleep contented - therefor, I have to be too so g'nite.
Saturday 29 November 2014
Saturday, November 29, 2014 it feels good....
Who would believe it. that's the words said very calmly by Mac as the hair-dresser washed his hair!!!! When I tried having him do this last month it was a disaster, he yelled -even though she took such pains with cape, etc... water was everywhere and he hated the whole scene
Today I didn't even think about his hair, I was going to get my hair washed and cut, so on the way to the hair dresser (who by the way, has her salon downstairs in our building) I mentioned to Mac that it wouldn't take long, just a wash and cut. So he sat in a chair and watched as I was having my hair washed..then when I got up with a towel around my head, somehow it seemed the right time, I said "hey you should get your hair washed it only takes a minute, and it feels so good", the hairdresser and I both did a doubletake..when he answered "okay".
He sat down, no special stuff, just what I had - he put his head back, I held his hand which he kind of clutched..and after two shampoos, and lots of rinsing..he even let her blow dry his hair!!! (will wonders never cease).
She asked if he wanted a cut - just a trim..answer a decisive no..but anyway, he looks amazing, his hair is super clean, and when I said - you look so handsome, and doesn't it feel good, he just smiled and said, are you ready..."I know, and it feels good.
AS far as a haircut goes I prefer him to have his barber - as I've mentioned he has done the job for years and is a friend, so if Mac continues to let the hairdresser wash his hair..my troubles in this regard are over..but never say anything positively, the word here is IF and it's a big IF. The next big hurdle would be to let the preposee get him ready for bed without a struggle, but again can't see it happening, but "one little miracle at a time"
Another little miracle would be if I could walk by the lake - without crying- wishing he was with me I have a very hard time as every place here was new to both of us and I am so missing his presence when I go for a walk, or even to the stores..but walking outside seems to be too dangerous for him; perhaps a wheelchair in spring
Today was thinking about trying to be more positive - decided I must try to go for a walk by the lake- so I did. I came across an Art Exhibit I hadn't heard about ..right by the lake and surprise a beautiful little oil painting of sundown on the lake people walking on the path - and there under the tree in the shade two figures - Mac and I...I bought the painting. Maybe as a twosome, we never will walk there again but the painting will bring back the beautiful sundowns we experienced and loved. Well that did it, now the tears are back, I must go to bed, g'nite.
Today I didn't even think about his hair, I was going to get my hair washed and cut, so on the way to the hair dresser (who by the way, has her salon downstairs in our building) I mentioned to Mac that it wouldn't take long, just a wash and cut. So he sat in a chair and watched as I was having my hair washed..then when I got up with a towel around my head, somehow it seemed the right time, I said "hey you should get your hair washed it only takes a minute, and it feels so good", the hairdresser and I both did a doubletake..when he answered "okay".
He sat down, no special stuff, just what I had - he put his head back, I held his hand which he kind of clutched..and after two shampoos, and lots of rinsing..he even let her blow dry his hair!!! (will wonders never cease).
She asked if he wanted a cut - just a trim..answer a decisive no..but anyway, he looks amazing, his hair is super clean, and when I said - you look so handsome, and doesn't it feel good, he just smiled and said, are you ready..."I know, and it feels good.
AS far as a haircut goes I prefer him to have his barber - as I've mentioned he has done the job for years and is a friend, so if Mac continues to let the hairdresser wash his hair..my troubles in this regard are over..but never say anything positively, the word here is IF and it's a big IF. The next big hurdle would be to let the preposee get him ready for bed without a struggle, but again can't see it happening, but "one little miracle at a time"
Another little miracle would be if I could walk by the lake - without crying- wishing he was with me I have a very hard time as every place here was new to both of us and I am so missing his presence when I go for a walk, or even to the stores..but walking outside seems to be too dangerous for him; perhaps a wheelchair in spring
Today was thinking about trying to be more positive - decided I must try to go for a walk by the lake- so I did. I came across an Art Exhibit I hadn't heard about ..right by the lake and surprise a beautiful little oil painting of sundown on the lake people walking on the path - and there under the tree in the shade two figures - Mac and I...I bought the painting. Maybe as a twosome, we never will walk there again but the painting will bring back the beautiful sundowns we experienced and loved. Well that did it, now the tears are back, I must go to bed, g'nite.
Thursday 27 November 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014 I'll punch it........
Exercise class this morning, Carol, our animator was explaining how to turn our heads slowly to the right and to the left...I said to Mac, see just kind of do what I'm doing, see I'm sticking my chin out...and he answered - o.k. and I'll just punch it. Well that sent me into a kind hysterical laughter. when I explained to Carol, she said, "he sure still has his sense of humour" he most certainly does.
This, though is up and down just like his health, his eating, and understanding of others. His former caregiver and her boyfriend were visiting today, I'm sure they wished he would remember them but again this is something that even the people that work with him every day wish for - but it's not going to happen. Every nigh Abedul, the preposee who works with Walter, getting him ready for bed; stops when he comes into their room - shakes hands with Mac saying, do you remember my name - so many times I've said, really Mac does not remember names and it's rather frustrating for him to try. But he persists on saying his name, then adding I'm your friend. I think this is really nice of him, but it's just not in the cards.
I can think of two people a man whose wife has the big A and a woman whose husband has it, and both these people are devastated that their spouses do not remember them - so to speak. Both have cut down their visiting times to two or three times a week, finding it rather pointless to visit when the spouses in question do not recognize them. This is really sad, I can see so often how lonely and pathetic are the patients on the second floor. How they reach out for me as I go with Mac, how they wave and want me to stay with them. They do not know my name, , they just need someone to care for them. Even, the three women who roam the floor in their wheelchairs, are always looking for someone - and as I pass they reach out for me - one in particular is the one who followed us into the elevator. In fact she did it again today, this time Mac's former caregiver Helen, tried to push her out of the elevator, I managed it. Poor Helen thought she was responsible for her coming on the elevator as she waved to the woman. Actually she always follows Mac wherever he goes.
If I do not tell Mac to stay in his seat when I leave, he will wander around looking for me. The nurse says she tells him you can walk around, but sit down and take a rest too. When I come in he always says where were you I was looking for you. So, must remember to tell him keep in your chair, I will be back much later, so rest awhile and we will go for a walk later. Will check that out tomorrow as I have to go for a short time to the shopping center. It makes me nervous to think that he will be walking around looking for me and could possibly fall, especially with "yella yella, chasing him in her wheelchair. He is still not all that stable when he walks.
It is also apparent that he is having more difficulty expressing himself, he wants to say so much and kind of gets it garbled. Again, though I have to remember that things change from day to day. Right now his appetite is great, eating well, and seemingly quite content, joking in his own way as in when he gets up I give him my two hands, so when he is finally standing there holding my two hands he says - wanna dance, and starts boogying. He did this with a couple of the preposees who were so excited, I guess they passed the word on, so tonight one of the preposees said, Will you dance with me now. He looked so surprised...of course he can't remember that he danced with anyone, and so it goes. Tomorrow is another day, and we'll see what happens then. For sure though I'm not going to stick my chin out. ha.
This, though is up and down just like his health, his eating, and understanding of others. His former caregiver and her boyfriend were visiting today, I'm sure they wished he would remember them but again this is something that even the people that work with him every day wish for - but it's not going to happen. Every nigh Abedul, the preposee who works with Walter, getting him ready for bed; stops when he comes into their room - shakes hands with Mac saying, do you remember my name - so many times I've said, really Mac does not remember names and it's rather frustrating for him to try. But he persists on saying his name, then adding I'm your friend. I think this is really nice of him, but it's just not in the cards.
I can think of two people a man whose wife has the big A and a woman whose husband has it, and both these people are devastated that their spouses do not remember them - so to speak. Both have cut down their visiting times to two or three times a week, finding it rather pointless to visit when the spouses in question do not recognize them. This is really sad, I can see so often how lonely and pathetic are the patients on the second floor. How they reach out for me as I go with Mac, how they wave and want me to stay with them. They do not know my name, , they just need someone to care for them. Even, the three women who roam the floor in their wheelchairs, are always looking for someone - and as I pass they reach out for me - one in particular is the one who followed us into the elevator. In fact she did it again today, this time Mac's former caregiver Helen, tried to push her out of the elevator, I managed it. Poor Helen thought she was responsible for her coming on the elevator as she waved to the woman. Actually she always follows Mac wherever he goes.
If I do not tell Mac to stay in his seat when I leave, he will wander around looking for me. The nurse says she tells him you can walk around, but sit down and take a rest too. When I come in he always says where were you I was looking for you. So, must remember to tell him keep in your chair, I will be back much later, so rest awhile and we will go for a walk later. Will check that out tomorrow as I have to go for a short time to the shopping center. It makes me nervous to think that he will be walking around looking for me and could possibly fall, especially with "yella yella, chasing him in her wheelchair. He is still not all that stable when he walks.
It is also apparent that he is having more difficulty expressing himself, he wants to say so much and kind of gets it garbled. Again, though I have to remember that things change from day to day. Right now his appetite is great, eating well, and seemingly quite content, joking in his own way as in when he gets up I give him my two hands, so when he is finally standing there holding my two hands he says - wanna dance, and starts boogying. He did this with a couple of the preposees who were so excited, I guess they passed the word on, so tonight one of the preposees said, Will you dance with me now. He looked so surprised...of course he can't remember that he danced with anyone, and so it goes. Tomorrow is another day, and we'll see what happens then. For sure though I'm not going to stick my chin out. ha.
Friday 21 November 2014
Friday, November 21, 2014 Hey - what the hell....
Well we did I!!! Mac got his hair washed this morning, my cousin suggested I put sheets or towels all around, on the floor. Well that is what I did before and did again, as well as plastic bags..BUT, the difference is this time I put the plastic garbage bag as a cape - made a hole in the bag and put over his head, last time I just put the bag around his neck. I also made a better plastic bag tucked into his plastic bib around him which allowed the water to go down into the sink. He cannot put his head back and down, so with warm water pouring all over the place from faceclothes - since I can't get a little hose with a spray..poor Mac was saying (not yelling) Hey!!! What the hell, " I would quickly put a dry facecloth over his face, kind of muffling his cries of hey hey. WEll it's not so great, and I didn't bring his hair dryer here, so it was drying his hair with towels, another hey hey and at last a hey nonny no and we were finished.ha.
It's been a kind of trying couple of days, especially yesterday, I was bringing Mac up on the elevator, I have probably mentioned the little lady who goes zooming around in her wheelchair saying "yella yella", apparently Arabic for - let's go or come-on - and other times its venez venez, well she always follows us when we walk or is at Mac's knees when he sits. Which is nerve-wracking as she can hurt him or make him fall when he walk so there I was protecting him and kind of shoving her away yesterday as we got on the elevator, normally she backs off at the elevator but this time she ploughed right in pushing me trying to push her and in the ensuing noise of her yelling and pushing was poor Mac yelling from the floor of the elevator, he had fallen. Luckily it was one of those falls where he kind of just sinks down and then goes flat on his back...I managed to push her out, had pushed the button and there we were going up with Mac on the floor.Managed to push two and go back down and yell for the preposees, surprise, they were right there, I guess they had heard all the commotion and the nurse was there as well. When we got Mac out, the nurse took his blood pressure and all was o.k. What an experience.
This morning, unlike yesterday morning, Mac was calling his breakfast (down there) a load of crap. Poor Marie the Nurse was upset, it's funny they are always so thrilled if he eats, and so down and looking cross, if he doesn't. I said I'd bring him up for coffee and fruit..but on the way he said he needed the bathroom..(ha, that's the problem - I thought)...So took him to the toilet off his room there. Then I thought, well I'm here I'll get the preposee to change him, daytime I have been doing it all along...well the preposee was there with the breakfast dishes on a dolly thing to take down stairs. when I told her Mac was on the toilet and needed help she said, I have to take the dishes down - I'll be back.I said I think the people here come before the dishes, but she left...By the time she came back I had almost finished changing and cleaning him up - "Look she said - see I'm back it didn't take me long. " I said it didn't take me long either but I do this all the time, this is the first time I've asked for help..(by the way as you can see my French is improving) She said in English (surprise) "I'm really sorry, I know the patient takes priority" and put her arm around me, and silly me - started to cry. But, it's such a pain to always try to understand their problems, as well as my own, it can be such a drag. In the meantime - it's poor Mac who suffers and right now I'm worried about two scratches and two bruises on his arm - although I know his thin skin does this easily it's still a concern.
Anyway, to close on a happier note, the sun is shining - Mac is happily listening to music, nodding his head and moving his feet in time, as his hair dries and I'm on the computer in the daytime...wow...g'bye.
It's been a kind of trying couple of days, especially yesterday, I was bringing Mac up on the elevator, I have probably mentioned the little lady who goes zooming around in her wheelchair saying "yella yella", apparently Arabic for - let's go or come-on - and other times its venez venez, well she always follows us when we walk or is at Mac's knees when he sits. Which is nerve-wracking as she can hurt him or make him fall when he walk so there I was protecting him and kind of shoving her away yesterday as we got on the elevator, normally she backs off at the elevator but this time she ploughed right in pushing me trying to push her and in the ensuing noise of her yelling and pushing was poor Mac yelling from the floor of the elevator, he had fallen. Luckily it was one of those falls where he kind of just sinks down and then goes flat on his back...I managed to push her out, had pushed the button and there we were going up with Mac on the floor.Managed to push two and go back down and yell for the preposees, surprise, they were right there, I guess they had heard all the commotion and the nurse was there as well. When we got Mac out, the nurse took his blood pressure and all was o.k. What an experience.
This morning, unlike yesterday morning, Mac was calling his breakfast (down there) a load of crap. Poor Marie the Nurse was upset, it's funny they are always so thrilled if he eats, and so down and looking cross, if he doesn't. I said I'd bring him up for coffee and fruit..but on the way he said he needed the bathroom..(ha, that's the problem - I thought)...So took him to the toilet off his room there. Then I thought, well I'm here I'll get the preposee to change him, daytime I have been doing it all along...well the preposee was there with the breakfast dishes on a dolly thing to take down stairs. when I told her Mac was on the toilet and needed help she said, I have to take the dishes down - I'll be back.I said I think the people here come before the dishes, but she left...By the time she came back I had almost finished changing and cleaning him up - "Look she said - see I'm back it didn't take me long. " I said it didn't take me long either but I do this all the time, this is the first time I've asked for help..(by the way as you can see my French is improving) She said in English (surprise) "I'm really sorry, I know the patient takes priority" and put her arm around me, and silly me - started to cry. But, it's such a pain to always try to understand their problems, as well as my own, it can be such a drag. In the meantime - it's poor Mac who suffers and right now I'm worried about two scratches and two bruises on his arm - although I know his thin skin does this easily it's still a concern.
Anyway, to close on a happier note, the sun is shining - Mac is happily listening to music, nodding his head and moving his feet in time, as his hair dries and I'm on the computer in the daytime...wow...g'bye.
Tuesday 18 November 2014
Tuesday, November 18, 2014. " I don't have any money..."
Mac's favourite expression, "I don't have any money" He always feels that he should pay for his supper, lunch or whatever. My answer is always the same, You paid for the meals, and the apartment when we first moved here, a long time ago, so you don't remember. It's o.k. don't worry about it. Well that will last till the next meal, or sometimes not even that long. I used to let him keep his wallet in his pocket, show him his $$$ in the wallet, then go into a little speil about his money, where he has money, how he can see the bank from our window etc etc. Well I've given up on that, it's enough now for him to know that it's all paid for..then he is happy for a time.
Actually the days of trying to show him his bank statement, and his demanding that he see the statements back to when we moved to Lachine, seem to be over, that's a good thing, as it would be a loop that we would go around and around till I was ready to burst a blood vessel. So I am really patient with his minor problems regarding his financial status.
That situation and questions and many others, such as why am I sleeping in this room, where are you going to sleep, whose room is this, why do those people come in this room (re: the preposees to get him ready for bed or up), were almost a mantra every day, but I must say things are getting better (have to watch it here - as we know as soon as I say that the situation goes back). I'm slowly getting both him and myself used to this way of living...I have moved some pictures down to his room, not that he notices, but it makes the room cozy. His radio is on constantly, when we are there of course, music which he and I enjoy.
But, I'm still the one getting him in his night clothes, as he trusts me and I'm gentle with washing him (as a bird bath is all he will take) that .. The only problem now is that the CLSC answered my plea for a hose with a shower end for the kitchen sink so I could wash his hair - I heard they had a special thingie that could go under his back and head ...well they sent it. It turns out to be a huge blow up plastic sink that looks like a float for a swimming pool with an indent for his neck.
I think it's to wash his hair while he is lying in bed. That is a no no I can just picture the frantic waving of his head and hands and water splashing all over the place. I may try the hair dresser again, which was not too successful...or do it with plastic bags all over the place and water on the floor as I wash his hair in the bathroom - he sitting on a chair..or in the kitchen, it's successful although I'm usually soaking wet and completely frustrated. Anyway, Friday is the day, I'm going to do it..I've made up my mind. So we shall see how that works out.
What I have to remember is that every experience is the first one - or practically every experience, especially uncomfortable ones, and also his understanding of the whys and wherefores are always new to him..so patience is the word..and also remembering, he is the one who is suffering - NOT ME.
In the meantime a sadder note - I was walking along the hall from Mac's room a couple of days ago leaving him in bed (he didn't want to get up) so planned to return later; when I saw the preposees and the nurse wheeling a man out of his room in his bed..I recognized him as one of the more "with it" Alzheimer patients, he would always make sure Mac was able to sit - getting up for him. I'd say, non non, sit down it's o.k. always polite, he spent a lot of time talking to one of the women -Helen, who has the big A. as well. I kind of placed him in a category or level of the big A. before Mac's level. Well what a shock, he was dead. He had died in his sleep.
Apparently another one had also died, so the floor now has 19 patients- including Mac. This has made me upset, I can hardly stand it, I know it will happen, but one reads that the various stages can be long...and I'm always assuming that Mac will be in a long stage, and he well may be..but one never knows.
Tonight he is or was very shaky, and very upset as one line never, never leaves his mind especially not at night and that is "My mother must be worried about me. She must be saying where is he." I tell him - not to worry she knows he is with Jan, and that I will try to get her phone number tomorrow and tell her. After saying that several times, he settled down - took his pill from the male nurse (Bassime)let me give him his eye drops, and drifted off to sleep.
So now it's time for me to drift off - so g'nite
Actually the days of trying to show him his bank statement, and his demanding that he see the statements back to when we moved to Lachine, seem to be over, that's a good thing, as it would be a loop that we would go around and around till I was ready to burst a blood vessel. So I am really patient with his minor problems regarding his financial status.
That situation and questions and many others, such as why am I sleeping in this room, where are you going to sleep, whose room is this, why do those people come in this room (re: the preposees to get him ready for bed or up), were almost a mantra every day, but I must say things are getting better (have to watch it here - as we know as soon as I say that the situation goes back). I'm slowly getting both him and myself used to this way of living...I have moved some pictures down to his room, not that he notices, but it makes the room cozy. His radio is on constantly, when we are there of course, music which he and I enjoy.
But, I'm still the one getting him in his night clothes, as he trusts me and I'm gentle with washing him (as a bird bath is all he will take) that .. The only problem now is that the CLSC answered my plea for a hose with a shower end for the kitchen sink so I could wash his hair - I heard they had a special thingie that could go under his back and head ...well they sent it. It turns out to be a huge blow up plastic sink that looks like a float for a swimming pool with an indent for his neck.
I think it's to wash his hair while he is lying in bed. That is a no no I can just picture the frantic waving of his head and hands and water splashing all over the place. I may try the hair dresser again, which was not too successful...or do it with plastic bags all over the place and water on the floor as I wash his hair in the bathroom - he sitting on a chair..or in the kitchen, it's successful although I'm usually soaking wet and completely frustrated. Anyway, Friday is the day, I'm going to do it..I've made up my mind. So we shall see how that works out.
What I have to remember is that every experience is the first one - or practically every experience, especially uncomfortable ones, and also his understanding of the whys and wherefores are always new to him..so patience is the word..and also remembering, he is the one who is suffering - NOT ME.
In the meantime a sadder note - I was walking along the hall from Mac's room a couple of days ago leaving him in bed (he didn't want to get up) so planned to return later; when I saw the preposees and the nurse wheeling a man out of his room in his bed..I recognized him as one of the more "with it" Alzheimer patients, he would always make sure Mac was able to sit - getting up for him. I'd say, non non, sit down it's o.k. always polite, he spent a lot of time talking to one of the women -Helen, who has the big A. as well. I kind of placed him in a category or level of the big A. before Mac's level. Well what a shock, he was dead. He had died in his sleep.
Apparently another one had also died, so the floor now has 19 patients- including Mac. This has made me upset, I can hardly stand it, I know it will happen, but one reads that the various stages can be long...and I'm always assuming that Mac will be in a long stage, and he well may be..but one never knows.
Tonight he is or was very shaky, and very upset as one line never, never leaves his mind especially not at night and that is "My mother must be worried about me. She must be saying where is he." I tell him - not to worry she knows he is with Jan, and that I will try to get her phone number tomorrow and tell her. After saying that several times, he settled down - took his pill from the male nurse (Bassime)let me give him his eye drops, and drifted off to sleep.
So now it's time for me to drift off - so g'nite
Wednesday 12 November 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014... No more thanks..
Mac is trying to walk with his walker, it's not working perfectly at times he thinks he should walk carrying the damn thing. Other times he says hey this is good. Right now I've left it in his room, as he said, "No more thanks" and pushed it away. Same thing with his supper..oh well tomorrow is another day.. We'll just have to keep on trying... if you read on you'll see why the walker...another reader suggested I take him out in a wheelchair, a good idea for someone stronger than me, but I may try...
The following are email answers to questions from friends -
Mac is doing alright, I took him out for a walk today since it was so nice, was careful to walk on a plain solid asphalt path, but somehow he sunk down on the ground, this is the second time he has done that…don’t know what makes him fall like that…he never does it in the building ..so it kind of turns me off thinking about getting him outside, - too bad. Lucky there was a college student coming along, he helped to pick Mac up, Mac was fine , he just kind of sunk down to the ground without any big fall..strange. Other than that he is eating a bit every day…and right now enjoying music on the radio. Will be taking him down to his bedroom on the 2nd floor around 7:30…
I’m not too worried about activities for Mac, he enjoys listening to music, talking about the music, I sing old songs , I dance with him while he sits…We walk around the building, and sit at different locations where he can either look out on trees, look out on busy busy 32nd st. or sit in the lobby and watch all the characters that live here and the normals (?) that come and visit . - Mondays dogs or cats visit …tues is yoga Wed. virtual bowling he watches does not partake Thurs Exercise class with great music, Friday, Music therapy with Richard who has a great voice and plays guitar knows everyone’s name and we both love him. Mac llikes to listens to music on the radio or CDs. Does not like t.v. so that’s out.
Of course I make sure I go out on my own or with friends every day. I have to take care of me so I can take care of him – usually not longer than 2 hours. Though when longer, I have someone come to be with him, even though I can leave him on the 2nd floor I prefer to have him in our apartment , it’s quieter, and more to his liking.
The library is still in process of being built, but looking good, of course they said it would not be finished till 2015 – who knows what month. I’ll be a happy camper with that next door.
Tonight as I was sitting waiting for Mac to fall asleep, he shares a room with a nice guy called Walter, who also has the big A. and very very quiet..good thing…I had the radio on softly playing music from the War days as its rememberance day…anyway, the Andrew Sisters were singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy..and one of the nursing assistants, she is about 5ft 10 slim tall black girl from Morocco (I think) her name is Cecile, she came rushing in the room and got me up to Boogie, it was really funny, Mac lying in bed with his eyes closed and she and I dancing all around the big room. His room is really large,though he only has the part near the door, but it’s fine for a couple of basket chairs lamp,on end table and bureau……everyone is very very good to us..He gets such special attention j …all the ladies love Mac especially – his eyes get special mention . must go to bed, I’m exhausted, g’nite, xxjan.
The following are email answers to questions from friends -
Mac is doing alright, I took him out for a walk today since it was so nice, was careful to walk on a plain solid asphalt path, but somehow he sunk down on the ground, this is the second time he has done that…don’t know what makes him fall like that…he never does it in the building ..so it kind of turns me off thinking about getting him outside, - too bad. Lucky there was a college student coming along, he helped to pick Mac up, Mac was fine , he just kind of sunk down to the ground without any big fall..strange. Other than that he is eating a bit every day…and right now enjoying music on the radio. Will be taking him down to his bedroom on the 2nd floor around 7:30…
I’m not too worried about activities for Mac, he enjoys listening to music, talking about the music, I sing old songs , I dance with him while he sits…We walk around the building, and sit at different locations where he can either look out on trees, look out on busy busy 32nd st. or sit in the lobby and watch all the characters that live here and the normals (?) that come and visit . - Mondays dogs or cats visit …tues is yoga Wed. virtual bowling he watches does not partake Thurs Exercise class with great music, Friday, Music therapy with Richard who has a great voice and plays guitar knows everyone’s name and we both love him. Mac llikes to listens to music on the radio or CDs. Does not like t.v. so that’s out.
Of course I make sure I go out on my own or with friends every day. I have to take care of me so I can take care of him – usually not longer than 2 hours. Though when longer, I have someone come to be with him, even though I can leave him on the 2nd floor I prefer to have him in our apartment , it’s quieter, and more to his liking.
The library is still in process of being built, but looking good, of course they said it would not be finished till 2015 – who knows what month. I’ll be a happy camper with that next door.
Tonight as I was sitting waiting for Mac to fall asleep, he shares a room with a nice guy called Walter, who also has the big A. and very very quiet..good thing…I had the radio on softly playing music from the War days as its rememberance day…anyway, the Andrew Sisters were singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy..and one of the nursing assistants, she is about 5ft 10 slim tall black girl from Morocco (I think) her name is Cecile, she came rushing in the room and got me up to Boogie, it was really funny, Mac lying in bed with his eyes closed and she and I dancing all around the big room. His room is really large,though he only has the part near the door, but it’s fine for a couple of basket chairs lamp,on end table and bureau……everyone is very very good to us..He gets such special attention j …all the ladies love Mac especially – his eyes get special mention . must go to bed, I’m exhausted, g’nite, xxjan.
Monday 10 November 2014
Monday, November 10 2014 No...I'm not doing that...
Today, a NO day, I finally got together with the physio-therapist in this residence, she was great and patient but as far as Mac trying to walk with a walker, well forget it, he said in no uncertain terms, NO I"M NOT DOING THAT...so we tried, she will put the walker in his room downstairs, we'll try again, another day.
NO continued with food, that covers breakfast lunch and dinner, so he had a nutria bar (1/2) and 1 C. of milkshake with Ensure frozen yogurt, cream and banana...1 cookie, and 1 glass of apple juice..that's it.
So at the moment he is happily bouncing his foot and shaking his head to the music on radio, but the nurse will be coming soon with his night pill, we'll see, his morning pill for Thryoid has been spit out with a loud NO, So cooperation is not the order of the day...
Anyway, I'm really online to put an email I received from my neice Gail...very interesting and even if it's not completely the answer I'm eating walnuts...
here it is
accurately accredited
Could a simple little nut do what billions of dollars in research has failed to?
I recently told you that Consumer Reports asked two doctors to review the three drugs now approved by the FDA to treat Alzheimer's. And how they concluded that these meds don't do anything to help those with this terrible disease. Or reverse its course.
But researchers have just discovered something amazing. Something that looks like it can really help.
And unlike those drugs, this may offer a promising beneficial effect in "reducing the risk, delaying the onset, slowing the progression of, or preventing Alzheimer's disease."
And with no awful side effects.
Believe it or not, the secret miracle is...walnuts.
Yes, walnuts. I know it sounds too simple to be possible. But it looks like this common nut is much more complex than you could imagine.
A study just published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease has found that mice fed a walnut-enriched diet showed significant improvement in learning skills, memory, and motor development, as well as reduced anxiety.
And the amount of walnuts they consumed made up only 6 or 9 percent of their diets. That equals about 1 ounce or 1.5 ounces a day for us.
In a previous experiment, lead researcher Abha Chauhan, PhD., found walnut extract even protected against those amyloid plaques seen in the brains of Alzheimer's patients.
And the fact that walnuts were created to help our brains makes perfect sense. Actually, the clue to that has been right in front of our eyes all along.
Just think what it looks like when you crack that shell open...the walnut itself looks like a miniature brain.
Sources:
"Fight against Alzheimer's disease: New research on walnuts" October 21, 2014, ScienceDaily, sciencedaily.com
NO continued with food, that covers breakfast lunch and dinner, so he had a nutria bar (1/2) and 1 C. of milkshake with Ensure frozen yogurt, cream and banana...1 cookie, and 1 glass of apple juice..that's it.
So at the moment he is happily bouncing his foot and shaking his head to the music on radio, but the nurse will be coming soon with his night pill, we'll see, his morning pill for Thryoid has been spit out with a loud NO, So cooperation is not the order of the day...
Anyway, I'm really online to put an email I received from my neice Gail...very interesting and even if it's not completely the answer I'm eating walnuts...
here it is
accurately accredited
Could a simple little nut do what billions of dollars in research has failed to?
I recently told you that Consumer Reports asked two doctors to review the three drugs now approved by the FDA to treat Alzheimer's. And how they concluded that these meds don't do anything to help those with this terrible disease. Or reverse its course.
But researchers have just discovered something amazing. Something that looks like it can really help.
And unlike those drugs, this may offer a promising beneficial effect in "reducing the risk, delaying the onset, slowing the progression of, or preventing Alzheimer's disease."
And with no awful side effects.
Believe it or not, the secret miracle is...walnuts.
Yes, walnuts. I know it sounds too simple to be possible. But it looks like this common nut is much more complex than you could imagine.
A study just published in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease has found that mice fed a walnut-enriched diet showed significant improvement in learning skills, memory, and motor development, as well as reduced anxiety.
And the amount of walnuts they consumed made up only 6 or 9 percent of their diets. That equals about 1 ounce or 1.5 ounces a day for us.
In a previous experiment, lead researcher Abha Chauhan, PhD., found walnut extract even protected against those amyloid plaques seen in the brains of Alzheimer's patients.
And the fact that walnuts were created to help our brains makes perfect sense. Actually, the clue to that has been right in front of our eyes all along.
Just think what it looks like when you crack that shell open...the walnut itself looks like a miniature brain.
Sources:
"Fight against Alzheimer's disease: New research on walnuts" October 21, 2014, ScienceDaily, sciencedaily.com
Sunday 9 November 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014 You are a hero..
Today, I managed to get Mac up to our apartment to try to give him some breakfast and coffee before I left for Church. It wasn't such a success, he was not hungry, (even though he has been having some food and coffee lately). He was not really happy to be awake, and was not a happy camper. Then it was with some coaxing on my part to get him to go back down to the 2nd floor so I could leave for church.
If I think I'm going to be gone for longer than two hours, I do have his caregivers, but really I can leave him with the preposees and the nurse on the second flor . Actually, I can do that all the time, but somehow I'm never too keen. There are 3 prepossees and a nurse for about 21 people there. They (the preposees) are often in and out of the rooms and it looks like no one is watching the clients or patients, who are usually congregated in the solarium area.
In any case when I was at church, my friend there, (her husband also has the big A), reminded me that it is important to get used to leaving him. This for my sake as well as his, both of us have to get used to the separation, and it's actually not so much for him as for me. She only goes to the residence where her husband is twice a week. Apparently I'm the one who must let go, and have more of a life. Many of the people at church were planning to go to have lunch at the Legion for Rememberance Day, she suggested I go with them as well. So I bit the bullet and said I would go. After church when the groups were getting together to leave, I backed down.
I couldn't explain it but, I felt Mac needed me and so that was it..I couldn't join them. When I returned home I thought - Jan you are not so special and he is probably fine, so just get your act together and get the warm clothes from the basement locker and then go to Mac. At least I'd be doing something worthwhile and I wouldn't be too far away from him, but somehow I couldn't relax I did get the clothes, threw them on the bed, and raced down to the 2nd floor...There was Mac looking quite content with some others in the solarium. I sat beside him and said, Hi, how are you? He answered "not very well".. Well what is it are you feeling sick? He said, my stomach doesn't feel good. "Need to go to the bathroom?" "YES
-that's it he said. With that I took him to his room and into the adjoining bathroom.
Now that he is eating, of course it's natural he has to have a bowel movement...so I told the nurse, where he was - She said, let the preposee get him. I said, no it's o.k. I'll manage, he is sitting on the toilet, but I need a wash cloth etc. So the preposee came along and gave me the necessary stuff.
Well, once he was washed, cleaned up, etc...I had him brush his teeth, wash his face and hands - brushed his hair, and he was just so appreciative. Gave me such a hug and kiss, said, "I love you, - you are a hero!!" Well how about that..."I said well no it's good that you ask to go to the bathroom and I just helped". He said, "no way you are a Hero.. You really are."
Am I glad I listened to the little voice in my head? darn right. All the accolades I get for helping Mac, are nothing compared to hearing how much he appreciates me and that's the most wonderful thanks anyone could get. So this hero will say goodbye for today, who knows what will happen tomorrow, most of the time heroes are only for a day!..so goodbye.
If I think I'm going to be gone for longer than two hours, I do have his caregivers, but really I can leave him with the preposees and the nurse on the second flor . Actually, I can do that all the time, but somehow I'm never too keen. There are 3 prepossees and a nurse for about 21 people there. They (the preposees) are often in and out of the rooms and it looks like no one is watching the clients or patients, who are usually congregated in the solarium area.
In any case when I was at church, my friend there, (her husband also has the big A), reminded me that it is important to get used to leaving him. This for my sake as well as his, both of us have to get used to the separation, and it's actually not so much for him as for me. She only goes to the residence where her husband is twice a week. Apparently I'm the one who must let go, and have more of a life. Many of the people at church were planning to go to have lunch at the Legion for Rememberance Day, she suggested I go with them as well. So I bit the bullet and said I would go. After church when the groups were getting together to leave, I backed down.
I couldn't explain it but, I felt Mac needed me and so that was it..I couldn't join them. When I returned home I thought - Jan you are not so special and he is probably fine, so just get your act together and get the warm clothes from the basement locker and then go to Mac. At least I'd be doing something worthwhile and I wouldn't be too far away from him, but somehow I couldn't relax I did get the clothes, threw them on the bed, and raced down to the 2nd floor...There was Mac looking quite content with some others in the solarium. I sat beside him and said, Hi, how are you? He answered "not very well".. Well what is it are you feeling sick? He said, my stomach doesn't feel good. "Need to go to the bathroom?" "YES
-that's it he said. With that I took him to his room and into the adjoining bathroom.
Now that he is eating, of course it's natural he has to have a bowel movement...so I told the nurse, where he was - She said, let the preposee get him. I said, no it's o.k. I'll manage, he is sitting on the toilet, but I need a wash cloth etc. So the preposee came along and gave me the necessary stuff.
Well, once he was washed, cleaned up, etc...I had him brush his teeth, wash his face and hands - brushed his hair, and he was just so appreciative. Gave me such a hug and kiss, said, "I love you, - you are a hero!!" Well how about that..."I said well no it's good that you ask to go to the bathroom and I just helped". He said, "no way you are a Hero.. You really are."
Am I glad I listened to the little voice in my head? darn right. All the accolades I get for helping Mac, are nothing compared to hearing how much he appreciates me and that's the most wonderful thanks anyone could get. So this hero will say goodbye for today, who knows what will happen tomorrow, most of the time heroes are only for a day!..so goodbye.
Monday 3 November 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014 Wow look at that....
Wow, look at that sunshine...that reaction was Mac's this morning when he came into our apartment. It is such a wow place for sure, with sun pouring into the huge windows it really is spectacular and such a lovely way to start the day. Happily the day started that way and continued right through to bed time with little agitation hurrah.
The main reason for my blog is I think we may have made a breakthrough. Mac is actually eating some solid food, even though the solid was 4 cookies ...he did drink two full cups of boost milk shake, and one cup of cream of spinach soup. Actually that was his total intake for the day, but compared to all the days leading up to this - it really is great. I tried other foods but to no avail.
Another reason I'm writing the blog today., is I have had conversations with two women married to men with Alzheimers..and noticed that the one thing these women have in common with others as well is to feel GUILT. In one woman's case her husband had to be hospitalized - he died - he was hospitalized because he was not breathing well, but she doesn't really know the cause, she thinks it may have been a heart attack
- she wasn't there - and was crying saying I feel so guilty, as she spoke about this situation, she then went on to mention other women in her support group who feel guilty as well. Sunday I was with another lady who told me she could not take seeing her husband in the lockdown ward more than twice a week, it is just too much for her, but she then went on to say how guilty she feels about this. I really think this is something that should be addressed at Support Groups and in material put out by Alzheimer's Associations.
Feeling guilt, why does one feel guilty, I think in my own case, for the most part I really don't feel guilty, I know I'm doing the best I can.
There are times, I feel I must rush back if I'm away for any length of time. I guess that's guilt. Sometimes it's because I think he may be missing me, other times I'm sure he might be acting strangely and the person with him may not be handling him the right way. There really isn't any RIGHT way, but to try to be as kind and caring as one can in the situation. The other time guilt feelings can occur is if one loses patience and starts to yell at the person with the big A. As a matter of fact, the woman I will be going with to a support meeting tomorrow wants to talk about precisely that - apparently she said they had a big blow - up over the weekend and she has had IT...So perhaps the leader of the group will give some insight into the guilt "problem".
Well it's been a good day, behavior-wise, food-wise, and even his walking seems a bit better...so on that note, I'm off to bed...wise? (no really) g'nite.
The main reason for my blog is I think we may have made a breakthrough. Mac is actually eating some solid food, even though the solid was 4 cookies ...he did drink two full cups of boost milk shake, and one cup of cream of spinach soup. Actually that was his total intake for the day, but compared to all the days leading up to this - it really is great. I tried other foods but to no avail.
Another reason I'm writing the blog today., is I have had conversations with two women married to men with Alzheimers..and noticed that the one thing these women have in common with others as well is to feel GUILT. In one woman's case her husband had to be hospitalized - he died - he was hospitalized because he was not breathing well, but she doesn't really know the cause, she thinks it may have been a heart attack
- she wasn't there - and was crying saying I feel so guilty, as she spoke about this situation, she then went on to mention other women in her support group who feel guilty as well. Sunday I was with another lady who told me she could not take seeing her husband in the lockdown ward more than twice a week, it is just too much for her, but she then went on to say how guilty she feels about this. I really think this is something that should be addressed at Support Groups and in material put out by Alzheimer's Associations.
Feeling guilt, why does one feel guilty, I think in my own case, for the most part I really don't feel guilty, I know I'm doing the best I can.
There are times, I feel I must rush back if I'm away for any length of time. I guess that's guilt. Sometimes it's because I think he may be missing me, other times I'm sure he might be acting strangely and the person with him may not be handling him the right way. There really isn't any RIGHT way, but to try to be as kind and caring as one can in the situation. The other time guilt feelings can occur is if one loses patience and starts to yell at the person with the big A. As a matter of fact, the woman I will be going with to a support meeting tomorrow wants to talk about precisely that - apparently she said they had a big blow - up over the weekend and she has had IT...So perhaps the leader of the group will give some insight into the guilt "problem".
Well it's been a good day, behavior-wise, food-wise, and even his walking seems a bit better...so on that note, I'm off to bed...wise? (no really) g'nite.
Saturday 1 November 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014 Good Good ....
Would never believe I would hear Mac say Good good, when he went to his bedroom downstairs, but as we entered his bedroom, those were the words, good good, he was tired and ready for bed. One other thing that was so interesting, even funny, we were brushing his few teeth (he is still not wearing his dentures) and when he had finished he happened to look at himself in the mirror. I said, hey look how handsome you are. He looked again but more carefully, then said "I think that's your father" ...I just said, " well could be" he does not think of himself as an old man.
Well he sure doesn't look like an old old man now, as Raymond his barber came yesterday. It took him almost two hours to do a really careful and thorough job of cutting Mac's long hair, beard, nose hair and eyebrows...It as a wonderful job, as Mac was at first not keen, and said No I don't need a haircut. Raymond quietly persisted and said, hey Gordon, I'm your barber, remember CN ..well those were the right words. Mac does remember CNR where he used to work, and where Raymond was his barber even in those days..so all went perfectly - now if only I could get him to let the hairdresser wash his hair. If she can't, I know he will let me, I will have to buy a little hose thingie. Also, if I can get the CLSC, which will - I hope - provide me with one of those trays to put behind and around the neck to wash hair at the sink. My friend's mom just got one.(from CLSC).so I'm going o ask. I have been looking for one at the drug store, but they don't have that.
The routine is now fairly well established - I go down in the a.m. around 8:45, hope that he is dressed, sometimes he is sometimes he's not..sometimes he is asleep, sometimes he's awake, I either sit and wait - get him dressed myself or he may be dressed already, whichever then I take him up to our apartment for breakfast, which he won't eat, coffee he will drink and then boost milkshake - perhaps a quarter of a cup or bit more..and surprise he will eat the cookies I make - but only one (oatmeal-
raisin)
Then depending on the day, we hang out in the apt. or go down and try to watch whatever activity is on, music therapy, zootherapy (dogs usually 2 come for a visit), exercise, yoga, virtual bowling..come back for lunch, which is another quarter of a cup of boost...listen to music..and if I have something on, if it's more than 2 hours I leave him with Debbie, as I did today. If not, he will be with me while, I bake, or iron, or do the washing - have company - whatever. Then we go down to sit on two rockers and look out at the trees watch people passing by through the park, chat about vague things,or real things do a crossword together,(that is I do one and he says hmmm yes that's the word... I may read to him , or just sit quietly while he rests his eyes.
We then go through trying to have supper, boost again cookie again, or nothing...who knows.. I also try to walk him around the lobby, around the hallway, just to give him some exercise, haven't managed to talk to the physio therapist - she is never there when I finally go to her office. May try to phone the desk and get her number and set up an appointment, that is probably the way to go. In the evening we listen to Tonic on CBC, then down for bed, and hopefully, he will continue to say Good Good, and I'll say that now as I'm off to bed...Two sleepy people , I wish I could say we're two here, but at least we're together most of the time, Good good, g'nite.
Well he sure doesn't look like an old old man now, as Raymond his barber came yesterday. It took him almost two hours to do a really careful and thorough job of cutting Mac's long hair, beard, nose hair and eyebrows...It as a wonderful job, as Mac was at first not keen, and said No I don't need a haircut. Raymond quietly persisted and said, hey Gordon, I'm your barber, remember CN ..well those were the right words. Mac does remember CNR where he used to work, and where Raymond was his barber even in those days..so all went perfectly - now if only I could get him to let the hairdresser wash his hair. If she can't, I know he will let me, I will have to buy a little hose thingie. Also, if I can get the CLSC, which will - I hope - provide me with one of those trays to put behind and around the neck to wash hair at the sink. My friend's mom just got one.(from CLSC).so I'm going o ask. I have been looking for one at the drug store, but they don't have that.
The routine is now fairly well established - I go down in the a.m. around 8:45, hope that he is dressed, sometimes he is sometimes he's not..sometimes he is asleep, sometimes he's awake, I either sit and wait - get him dressed myself or he may be dressed already, whichever then I take him up to our apartment for breakfast, which he won't eat, coffee he will drink and then boost milkshake - perhaps a quarter of a cup or bit more..and surprise he will eat the cookies I make - but only one (oatmeal-
raisin)
Then depending on the day, we hang out in the apt. or go down and try to watch whatever activity is on, music therapy, zootherapy (dogs usually 2 come for a visit), exercise, yoga, virtual bowling..come back for lunch, which is another quarter of a cup of boost...listen to music..and if I have something on, if it's more than 2 hours I leave him with Debbie, as I did today. If not, he will be with me while, I bake, or iron, or do the washing - have company - whatever. Then we go down to sit on two rockers and look out at the trees watch people passing by through the park, chat about vague things,or real things do a crossword together,(that is I do one and he says hmmm yes that's the word... I may read to him , or just sit quietly while he rests his eyes.
We then go through trying to have supper, boost again cookie again, or nothing...who knows.. I also try to walk him around the lobby, around the hallway, just to give him some exercise, haven't managed to talk to the physio therapist - she is never there when I finally go to her office. May try to phone the desk and get her number and set up an appointment, that is probably the way to go. In the evening we listen to Tonic on CBC, then down for bed, and hopefully, he will continue to say Good Good, and I'll say that now as I'm off to bed...Two sleepy people , I wish I could say we're two here, but at least we're together most of the time, Good good, g'nite.
Monday 27 October 2014
Monday, October 27, 2014 Did you have some.....
There are so many good and funny words that I can quote from Mac, i.e." Who is that person in the top hat (no one that I can see), you are coming soon, right? Get out of here, and of course many great strings of profanities...Most or all of the negative words are usually when he is being dressed, undressed, and in today's episode asking him to take a shower, well he did not have a shower but did have a bit of a bird-bath..I managed to have his hair washed by the hairdresser downstairs but that was last week, so he will have to have that again, yikes.
But - "Did you have some", was said in such a caring way this morning as he was enjoying his Boost milkshake (boost, boost chocolate pudding, cream,milk banana and frozen vanilla yogurt,) he loved it and really hoped I had some, and of course I said sure, it's great. He still has about a a quarter of a cup left. Since he didn't eat breakfast, and won't eat lunch, this will have to do for now..
Yesterday's getting dressed session, was super, eating or drinking was the pits...going to bed was a cinch, who knows what it will be like tonight. His walking is precarious. Will go down today to see about therapy and a walker, although I'm not excited about a walker, as he has no perception of where a corner is or even who is walking towards us..he can like many of the people on the 2nd floor walk right into someone or the wall. Anyway, will check this out to see what is recommended by the therapist.
There are many things that can be annoying about the people working on the 2nd floor, especially one person who really want's to be so helpful. He is kind and tries to be understanding in his own way, but he doesn't seem comprehend that asking questions that Mac cannot answer; is not the way to go. For example he will say, "what did you do today?" Where did you go?, Do you know me?", Do you know my name?. All these questions and more are frustrating to say the least..first Mac really has no short term memory, and now no long term memory either. I'm wondering about that preposee, as I have told him that these questions cause frustration, and are absolutely no help to Mac; but unbelievably he asks them again when he is on duty which is usually every weekend. The good thing is he has learned that talking softly helps, quietly doing the job efficiently works, and so Mac's neighbor's responses of loud oy oy oy oy's have been reduced..and he now even can say to the preposee - the water is too cold etc.
This preposee has found that making sure to wash with warm water, softly and carefully is better, rather than doing the job in a hurry and then having to fend Mac or Walter's (his roommate) thrashing arms and legs. So now even for me the nightly routine is becoming easier, Now if only Mac would have a shower, but I read that bed baths and careful hair washing over the sink at this stage may be the only way to go. If so, so be it.
All this writing about washing and grooming, reminds me must go phone the barber, re; cutting his hair (that's going to be fun .hmmm.)and arrange for the lady who does feet and toenails to come some time soon. In the meantime, I have to cut his fingernails right now, so bye
But - "Did you have some", was said in such a caring way this morning as he was enjoying his Boost milkshake (boost, boost chocolate pudding, cream,milk banana and frozen vanilla yogurt,) he loved it and really hoped I had some, and of course I said sure, it's great. He still has about a a quarter of a cup left. Since he didn't eat breakfast, and won't eat lunch, this will have to do for now..
Yesterday's getting dressed session, was super, eating or drinking was the pits...going to bed was a cinch, who knows what it will be like tonight. His walking is precarious. Will go down today to see about therapy and a walker, although I'm not excited about a walker, as he has no perception of where a corner is or even who is walking towards us..he can like many of the people on the 2nd floor walk right into someone or the wall. Anyway, will check this out to see what is recommended by the therapist.
There are many things that can be annoying about the people working on the 2nd floor, especially one person who really want's to be so helpful. He is kind and tries to be understanding in his own way, but he doesn't seem comprehend that asking questions that Mac cannot answer; is not the way to go. For example he will say, "what did you do today?" Where did you go?, Do you know me?", Do you know my name?. All these questions and more are frustrating to say the least..first Mac really has no short term memory, and now no long term memory either. I'm wondering about that preposee, as I have told him that these questions cause frustration, and are absolutely no help to Mac; but unbelievably he asks them again when he is on duty which is usually every weekend. The good thing is he has learned that talking softly helps, quietly doing the job efficiently works, and so Mac's neighbor's responses of loud oy oy oy oy's have been reduced..and he now even can say to the preposee - the water is too cold etc.
This preposee has found that making sure to wash with warm water, softly and carefully is better, rather than doing the job in a hurry and then having to fend Mac or Walter's (his roommate) thrashing arms and legs. So now even for me the nightly routine is becoming easier, Now if only Mac would have a shower, but I read that bed baths and careful hair washing over the sink at this stage may be the only way to go. If so, so be it.
All this writing about washing and grooming, reminds me must go phone the barber, re; cutting his hair (that's going to be fun .hmmm.)and arrange for the lady who does feet and toenails to come some time soon. In the meantime, I have to cut his fingernails right now, so bye
Friday 24 October 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014 Well isn't this nice....
What a surprise I got when I rushed down at 8:45 this morning to try to help get Mac out of bed. I almost ran to his room and shock and awe, his bed was made, and he was not even there. I then ran to the open solarium area not there, so into the dining room and Mr. Mac McConnell was sitting peacefully eating a piece of toast at a table with three others. The 3 preposees all laughed when they saw my face.."he has had a glass of orange juice, a bit of coffee, and one piece of toast with peanut butter and jam" I almost couldn't believe it. Mac smiled when he saw me, saying, hi, "I'm just eating breakfast". I said, well good, I'll just wait out here for you. No I'm finished, "do you want to come up to the apartment now? Yes, said Mac, so I decided we should pick up his sweater from his room, and maybe try to get him to brush his teeth (a first since the hospital)...Imagine, we did that too. And as we walked to the elevator to go up, he said "Well isn't this nice" Well, will wonders never cease??
Life is pleasanter at night - no more screaming and swearing getting ready for bed. That's because I decided to take matters into my own hands, I am doing the changing - with help from the preposees. I'm doing the washing carefully and with love, talking softly and giving him kisses, and hugs..and it's working. before the side on his bed goes up. I lie down beside him and stroke his hair and his beard and tell him how handsome he is - it's working he closes his eyes and goes to sleep with a smile.
So onward and upward, he is in our apt now listening to his fave classical music on cbc drinking his coffee. BUT, I had thought we should go back down around 10:30 a.m. to hear Richard sing and play his guitar...and sad to say, Mac could hardly walk, he tottered and almost fell. So with care and hanging on to the back of the sofa, I got him back in his chair..and that's where we are right now...Will he be able to walk - I'm going to try again. I plan to go out today - have Deb coming for him this afternoon, hopefully all will go well...after such a great start to the day, I've got my fingers crossed that this happy time will not be a downer because of his poor balance.
Debbie usually takes him down to the lobby near to the time that I am planning to return..I guess, I'll have to phone her to make sure all is still o.k. as long as he is sitting, he is fine...so we'll just have to wait and see...bye now.
Life is pleasanter at night - no more screaming and swearing getting ready for bed. That's because I decided to take matters into my own hands, I am doing the changing - with help from the preposees. I'm doing the washing carefully and with love, talking softly and giving him kisses, and hugs..and it's working. before the side on his bed goes up. I lie down beside him and stroke his hair and his beard and tell him how handsome he is - it's working he closes his eyes and goes to sleep with a smile.
So onward and upward, he is in our apt now listening to his fave classical music on cbc drinking his coffee. BUT, I had thought we should go back down around 10:30 a.m. to hear Richard sing and play his guitar...and sad to say, Mac could hardly walk, he tottered and almost fell. So with care and hanging on to the back of the sofa, I got him back in his chair..and that's where we are right now...Will he be able to walk - I'm going to try again. I plan to go out today - have Deb coming for him this afternoon, hopefully all will go well...after such a great start to the day, I've got my fingers crossed that this happy time will not be a downer because of his poor balance.
Debbie usually takes him down to the lobby near to the time that I am planning to return..I guess, I'll have to phone her to make sure all is still o.k. as long as he is sitting, he is fine...so we'll just have to wait and see...bye now.
Tuesday 21 October 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 I'm Fine thanks...
Mac's answer to Abedel - preposee who often gets him ready for bed. Abdel was on duty this afternoon, and that's in answer to his usual "how are you", question this afternoon - last night he asked Mac the same question, and the answer was ..wait for it... "bugger off". He just hates the nightly routine as I've mentioned so often, but it really gets to me, and we'll be heading downstairs soon, will then be going through this awful yelling, swearing session, groan.
Right now we're both enjoying jazz cds. The doctor was here today and is on the same page as our whole family - and that is...Mac will have palliative care here (hurrah, no hospital). He said it will be stage 3 care, that is, he will be given meds for pain, or sickness if he gets sick, but will not be moved to the hospital. He said at this stage Mac would not benefit, and only be made much worse from the ordeal of ambulance, and people who do not know him. I am so thrilled, I love Doctor Ginsburg.
Our day is less eventful now, the big deal is when Mac eats something..anything. Today, his total intake one inch of milk shake, one spoonful of boost pudding, one cup of coffee and one quarter of a small cup of soup.
He wants so much to be independent and hates for me to have to help pull him out of a chair - hold him carefully when he has to walk etc... and so sometimes he tries to push me away when I try to help, and then he will smile, and say - "sorry", I so understand this, and feel for him. So I do try to back off, or say wait a minute, I need to have this next dance with you.. That he loves..
Today was zootherapy day on 2nd floor, a woman brought in two lovely dogs, who just enjoy being petted. one Max is a beautiful golden haired Lab retriever went right to mac and licked his hand. I was surprised by Mac's reaction, Mac, who always loved dogs, just said - "go away" and didn't pay any attention the lab or to the sweetest little dog who jumped on my lap. Yet as soon as we came into our apartment for supper, he stooped to pet our cat and fluff up Mischa's tail..there is just no constant in Mac's behavior any more. I wish that will be also the case for when he goes to bed tonite hope he surprises me by being cooperative, and make the whole procedure easy for all of us...we'll see..g'nite
Right now we're both enjoying jazz cds. The doctor was here today and is on the same page as our whole family - and that is...Mac will have palliative care here (hurrah, no hospital). He said it will be stage 3 care, that is, he will be given meds for pain, or sickness if he gets sick, but will not be moved to the hospital. He said at this stage Mac would not benefit, and only be made much worse from the ordeal of ambulance, and people who do not know him. I am so thrilled, I love Doctor Ginsburg.
Our day is less eventful now, the big deal is when Mac eats something..anything. Today, his total intake one inch of milk shake, one spoonful of boost pudding, one cup of coffee and one quarter of a small cup of soup.
He wants so much to be independent and hates for me to have to help pull him out of a chair - hold him carefully when he has to walk etc... and so sometimes he tries to push me away when I try to help, and then he will smile, and say - "sorry", I so understand this, and feel for him. So I do try to back off, or say wait a minute, I need to have this next dance with you.. That he loves..
Today was zootherapy day on 2nd floor, a woman brought in two lovely dogs, who just enjoy being petted. one Max is a beautiful golden haired Lab retriever went right to mac and licked his hand. I was surprised by Mac's reaction, Mac, who always loved dogs, just said - "go away" and didn't pay any attention the lab or to the sweetest little dog who jumped on my lap. Yet as soon as we came into our apartment for supper, he stooped to pet our cat and fluff up Mischa's tail..there is just no constant in Mac's behavior any more. I wish that will be also the case for when he goes to bed tonite hope he surprises me by being cooperative, and make the whole procedure easy for all of us...we'll see..g'nite
Saturday 18 October 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014 I'll take Coffee...
Right, I'll have coffee. The nurse on 2nd floor was concerned, Mac was sick last night, throwing up, (green bile). He hadn't eaten all day, just coffee, and that was it, Wednesday and Thusday , actually ate some supper both days (and that's about all - supper is about a cup of food)..and some Boost in a milk shake. We were concerned today, after being sick last night and this a.m. .. The nurse was thinking "hospital" but he got better and did eat some lunch at about 1;30 and bits till 3:00 .and so I was hoping to give him supper and tried, but no way..and then he said right, I'll have coffee...yikes, I've got to get him on Boost tomorrow for sure...
Life is getting hectic, trying to get him to eat, trying to give him his pills (he spits them out) and making sure he does some walking - if only in the building, even though he is so weak, it's apparently good to do this to have him get an appetite and of course I want him to be able to walk and sitting won't do it.
Eating can take all afternoon, a bit at a time..but this is what I'm going to have to do. Each day is a challenge and each day is different,except for the fact that he is still fighting the poor preposees who want to get his clothes off and p.j.s on for bed.
So what's the good news..actally not much except that music still turns him on, and so he listens all day..When we go up and down in the elevator, oh by the way, he never stopped doing that even though he can be afraid to get on, we always manage..and I sing to him and we pretend to dance in the dark the elevator is kind of dark..and of course we don't do this when there are others there. I'm still singing songs that he tries to give me the words for...i.e. Come aboard the ???? (he'll say A. train). Though his memory is slowing down for most songs now..except we both jiggled around to Hey Bob a Rebob today...what an oldie that is...
I'm putting this on my blog to keep in mind that he was sick last night - and almost had to go back to hospital.thank God he is still here ..and hopefully will be here for tomorrow and tomorrow,,,g'nite..
Life is getting hectic, trying to get him to eat, trying to give him his pills (he spits them out) and making sure he does some walking - if only in the building, even though he is so weak, it's apparently good to do this to have him get an appetite and of course I want him to be able to walk and sitting won't do it.
Eating can take all afternoon, a bit at a time..but this is what I'm going to have to do. Each day is a challenge and each day is different,except for the fact that he is still fighting the poor preposees who want to get his clothes off and p.j.s on for bed.
So what's the good news..actally not much except that music still turns him on, and so he listens all day..When we go up and down in the elevator, oh by the way, he never stopped doing that even though he can be afraid to get on, we always manage..and I sing to him and we pretend to dance in the dark the elevator is kind of dark..and of course we don't do this when there are others there. I'm still singing songs that he tries to give me the words for...i.e. Come aboard the ???? (he'll say A. train). Though his memory is slowing down for most songs now..except we both jiggled around to Hey Bob a Rebob today...what an oldie that is...
I'm putting this on my blog to keep in mind that he was sick last night - and almost had to go back to hospital.thank God he is still here ..and hopefully will be here for tomorrow and tomorrow,,,g'nite..
Thursday 16 October 2014
Thursday, October 6, 2014 I WANT TO GO HOME H O M E
That was Mac's loud loud cry as Abdel (preposee) was washing his privates, I can understand it's so humiliating to be washed and treated so ..but it's necessary. This goes along with much swearing and growling and roaring, the doctor has suggested he get a pill for agitation, so we'll have to talk about that with the nurse tomorrow and see just when it should be given as perhaps it will help.
\I was all delighted to hear that he had absolutely no problem this a.m. getting dressed, and when I went down he was quite content and this contentment lasted all day. Though yesterday he was more or less cranky most of the day so had to just leave him - and attended a support group meeting - which certainly helped. Then when I returned he was fine, and even finer when Gaye came to visit and fed him a good amount of his dinner. Which reminds me he has started eating and this will make the third day in a row that he is eating...not a whole plate full of food, but at least half a plate and that's the good news. The doctor was considering sending him back to the hospital - which I was totally against..at this time the word - hospital - is a no no.... Anyway, it's not going to happen.
I don't know how many times in this journal (blog) I've said this but it's so true, one cannot count on anything being the same each day, it just does not go that way..the good thing is that the suggestions re; eating that I got from http:activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com worked and I will continue to follow the suggestions. Another suggestion from the support grp leader was to stroke - touch, and really love him after frustration and anger..which I did tonight it was lovely to see his crabby face in bed - change to peace and contentment when I stroked his thick hair and beard and kissed him, then stroked his arm as he drifted off to sleep
this is sometimes not what I feel like doing, usually I wish someone would do that for me as I'm so uptight after those sessions, but it helped me as well, and I left to come upstairs quite happy. So with that in mind, I'll keep the smile and go to bed...g'nite.
\I was all delighted to hear that he had absolutely no problem this a.m. getting dressed, and when I went down he was quite content and this contentment lasted all day. Though yesterday he was more or less cranky most of the day so had to just leave him - and attended a support group meeting - which certainly helped. Then when I returned he was fine, and even finer when Gaye came to visit and fed him a good amount of his dinner. Which reminds me he has started eating and this will make the third day in a row that he is eating...not a whole plate full of food, but at least half a plate and that's the good news. The doctor was considering sending him back to the hospital - which I was totally against..at this time the word - hospital - is a no no.... Anyway, it's not going to happen.
I don't know how many times in this journal (blog) I've said this but it's so true, one cannot count on anything being the same each day, it just does not go that way..the good thing is that the suggestions re; eating that I got from http:activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com worked and I will continue to follow the suggestions. Another suggestion from the support grp leader was to stroke - touch, and really love him after frustration and anger..which I did tonight it was lovely to see his crabby face in bed - change to peace and contentment when I stroked his thick hair and beard and kissed him, then stroked his arm as he drifted off to sleep
this is sometimes not what I feel like doing, usually I wish someone would do that for me as I'm so uptight after those sessions, but it helped me as well, and I left to come upstairs quite happy. So with that in mind, I'll keep the smile and go to bed...g'nite.
Monday 13 October 2014
Thanksgiving Day, Monday October 13,2014- Now don't run away....
After being away yesterday I'm wondering if that's why Mac said that as I sat beside him after he finally was settled in his bed..I said "you are all comfy now-right? and that was his answer, "now don't run away"..I, of course made it clear I'd be right here in the same house (that's how I put it) I guess, he must feel something is not quite right, as we always were in bed together, and if I miss him, I know he misses me.
Some may think this is much easier for me, as one of my friends put it in an email ..this was my answer:
. Life is if anything MORE stressful..Mac does not eat and I mean NO - NOTHING, and I try to tell the preposees that putting a tray packed with food in his room, and no one to help him to eat, is ridiculous.
Yesterday I went up to help ”close-up time” at the lake – then to Maureen’s home for Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I left my special milkshake (boost etc.) for Mac. When I called Cecilia later in the day to make sure all was o.k. (she came at 3 p.m.) Apparently Mac was still in bed, with the lunch tray on his table..no one had gotten him up. He never wants to get up, that’s not new – one has to coax him also feed him. Cecilia got someone to get him up, as she waited in the hall, she said it was horrific to hear the screams and profanities, she couldn’t believe it was him, went in to check it out and sure enough, her quiet Mac was the person, so she asked them to leave and come back in 25 min.
She ended up dressing him herself, took him upstairs and gave him his milkshake, then brought him down to the lobby. She said that was the best part of the day, he really loved looking at everyone there and music was on (they have a kind of musak playing part of the day) and she said he was so content, she couldn’t believe the man was the one she saw earlier. Even with his loss of weight and weak walking, when he is incensed he becomes so strong and aggressive and roars like a lion.
Anyway, all this to say the same thing happened today, only I got there at 9:00, back down at 9:30, then at 10:00 – this time I got him up easily and finally dressed him myself, (not easy) Right now is swaying to the music in our home here, as I try to give him boost - some cookies I just made, cereal – all in tiny tiny bits…I am kind of beside myself trying to think of ways to get him to eat…also what to do about all this, and also what to do about myself, as when I’m not with him I’m worried sick, (cry inwardly and outwardly) and I’m sure drive my friends and family away…because for sure it’s laugh and the world laughs with you and although they may listen and try to help when one is down, one can only help oneself..so it’s cry and you cry alone
One thing did cheer me besides having Mac with me happily all day is I have a list of stuff from the A. Assoc. as to what to do in cases where the person with the big A. won't eat.
Serve the meal one small course at a time.
Simplify the table setting - use one plate - one utensil and one glass.
Make use of contrasts try colored plate on white placemat.
Make use of tangy foods..try bbq sauce on meats or potatoes
Be creative - sweeten things - maple syrup on meats etc. as sweet is the taste that remains with us the longest
Supplement meals with products like Ensure...(I think Boost is equal - will check that out.
Enrich food so that the little bits given are nutritious whole milk, cream wheat germ etc.
Essential oils are believed to stimulate the appetite...they are concentrated oils of plants leaves flowers bark etc. and are said to have therapeutic properties. Sprays that contain essential oils can apparently help to make eating a pleasure..Debbie suggested peppermint, she read this oil works well
I read this online -activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com will definitely give these suggestions a try.
But not right now as my empty bed is calling.g'nite.
Some may think this is much easier for me, as one of my friends put it in an email ..this was my answer:
. Life is if anything MORE stressful..Mac does not eat and I mean NO - NOTHING, and I try to tell the preposees that putting a tray packed with food in his room, and no one to help him to eat, is ridiculous.
Yesterday I went up to help ”close-up time” at the lake – then to Maureen’s home for Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I left my special milkshake (boost etc.) for Mac. When I called Cecilia later in the day to make sure all was o.k. (she came at 3 p.m.) Apparently Mac was still in bed, with the lunch tray on his table..no one had gotten him up. He never wants to get up, that’s not new – one has to coax him also feed him. Cecilia got someone to get him up, as she waited in the hall, she said it was horrific to hear the screams and profanities, she couldn’t believe it was him, went in to check it out and sure enough, her quiet Mac was the person, so she asked them to leave and come back in 25 min.
She ended up dressing him herself, took him upstairs and gave him his milkshake, then brought him down to the lobby. She said that was the best part of the day, he really loved looking at everyone there and music was on (they have a kind of musak playing part of the day) and she said he was so content, she couldn’t believe the man was the one she saw earlier. Even with his loss of weight and weak walking, when he is incensed he becomes so strong and aggressive and roars like a lion.
Anyway, all this to say the same thing happened today, only I got there at 9:00, back down at 9:30, then at 10:00 – this time I got him up easily and finally dressed him myself, (not easy) Right now is swaying to the music in our home here, as I try to give him boost - some cookies I just made, cereal – all in tiny tiny bits…I am kind of beside myself trying to think of ways to get him to eat…also what to do about all this, and also what to do about myself, as when I’m not with him I’m worried sick, (cry inwardly and outwardly) and I’m sure drive my friends and family away…because for sure it’s laugh and the world laughs with you and although they may listen and try to help when one is down, one can only help oneself..so it’s cry and you cry alone
One thing did cheer me besides having Mac with me happily all day is I have a list of stuff from the A. Assoc. as to what to do in cases where the person with the big A. won't eat.
Serve the meal one small course at a time.
Simplify the table setting - use one plate - one utensil and one glass.
Make use of contrasts try colored plate on white placemat.
Make use of tangy foods..try bbq sauce on meats or potatoes
Be creative - sweeten things - maple syrup on meats etc. as sweet is the taste that remains with us the longest
Supplement meals with products like Ensure...(I think Boost is equal - will check that out.
Enrich food so that the little bits given are nutritious whole milk, cream wheat germ etc.
Essential oils are believed to stimulate the appetite...they are concentrated oils of plants leaves flowers bark etc. and are said to have therapeutic properties. Sprays that contain essential oils can apparently help to make eating a pleasure..Debbie suggested peppermint, she read this oil works well
I read this online -activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com will definitely give these suggestions a try.
But not right now as my empty bed is calling.g'nite.
Thursday 9 October 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014 Goodbye...
Every night I say goodbye as I leave Mac in his bed in his room on the 2nd floor...I tell him I'll see him in the morning, and of course I do see him, and bring him up to our apartment, but it is getting harder and harder for me to say goodbye. Last night my neice Gail called as I was contemplating bringing him up, measuring the floor for another bed..one for him one for me so he could be in a hospital bed. She talked some sense into me, telling me so clearly how impossible it is for me to look after him now at night and so on, how it is a good time to start this transition as we know he will certainly not get better...right now he is sitting listening to our favourie music..one of which, by Ella went straight to my heart and here it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP-8dzS1_rM Ella singing, every time we say goodbye, hope I can click on this and get it ...maybe you can too. g'bye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP-8dzS1_rM Ella singing, every time we say goodbye, hope I can click on this and get it ...maybe you can too. g'bye
Wednesday 8 October 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014 Is that a promise???
Last night while Mac and I sat in his room waiting for the preposees to come to get him ready for bed. He became quite lucid asking - where will you sleep? Why not here? He was much clearer in his thinking yesterday Obviously, and it left me feeling rather awful to leave him there, but I explained as best I could that he had an operation and needed more care. Aside from the fact that his walking is not the greatest, he would be too much for me to care for at night if he should need the bathroom etc. BUT, I added I will definitely be here for you in the morning. With that he looked at me with his big blue eyes, a bit teary, and said "Is that a promise"...
Well that nearly undid me, as that is something we always said if one or the other was not too happy with a situation. The unhappy one would ask that things should change or whatever, and if the other said, sure I'll do this or that, or will change my way...the one wanting the change would then say "Is that a promise", and that is how our marriage was really pretty solid as for both of us a "promise" was the most important thing - and it had to be taken seriously. One could be wishy-washy, about whatever, but the word "promise", meant it was for sure, and no ifs ands or buts, it was the way it would be. And so I answered,
"Mac I certainly promise you...I will be HERE in the morning, and I was. Was he there, well for sure, but would he get up..."no way jose", go away..but finally by 10:30 a.m. I said, I'm going to get some groceries be
back soon. So at 11;30, there he was sitting up, dressed and bushy tailed, waiting for me to take him to our apartment.
So now I'm hoping our government will PROMISE...to carry out the following, there is more online about the plan, but here is the gist of it :-
Media Release
For Immediate Distribution
Alzheimer Society of Canada applauds agreement to create national dementia plan
TORONTO, Ont. (October
2
, 2014)
–
The Alzheimer Society of Canada welcomes Health Minister
Rona Ambrose’s announcement
yesterday
that she and her provincial
and territorial
counterparts have agreed to collaborate on a national plan to curb
the staggering personal,
societal and economic toll of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.
“This is excellent news,” said Mimi Lowi
-
Dementia is a huge threat to our public health system and to our nation's productivity. It’s vital
that we address it collectively in a coordinated way
to make sure people living with this disease
get the help they
need and that our researchers
can
determine what causes it and can better
understand how to treat it.”
So that's the latest news on the problem that effects so many around he world...To see the people on the 2nd floor, sitting in a large circle in the solarium around the t.v. - after lunch, all sitting with their eyes closed, hardly noticing each other or speaking, is really sad. reminds me of a movie I never thought I would see anyone I knew in that condition, the movie was "Cocoon"...
The news in this place is that Mac is sitting listening to music, eyes closed but his feet are dancing up and down in time...I will try to give him a before bedtime walk around the people sitting in the lobby, although they too have the big A. for some it is not so advanced and they enjoy
having Mac well and waving to them..we will say goodnight to Alice our former dining table friend. Mac does not go down to eat there anymore, in fact Mac is still not eating..doc says by next week if he is still not eating i.e. only boost milkshakes, he will take him off one of his meds as it is a bit of an appetite depresser. or something. we'll see...so on we go for our in-house walk. bye now
Well that nearly undid me, as that is something we always said if one or the other was not too happy with a situation. The unhappy one would ask that things should change or whatever, and if the other said, sure I'll do this or that, or will change my way...the one wanting the change would then say "Is that a promise", and that is how our marriage was really pretty solid as for both of us a "promise" was the most important thing - and it had to be taken seriously. One could be wishy-washy, about whatever, but the word "promise", meant it was for sure, and no ifs ands or buts, it was the way it would be. And so I answered,
"Mac I certainly promise you...I will be HERE in the morning, and I was. Was he there, well for sure, but would he get up..."no way jose", go away..but finally by 10:30 a.m. I said, I'm going to get some groceries be
back soon. So at 11;30, there he was sitting up, dressed and bushy tailed, waiting for me to take him to our apartment.
So now I'm hoping our government will PROMISE...to carry out the following, there is more online about the plan, but here is the gist of it :-
Media Release
For Immediate Distribution
Alzheimer Society of Canada applauds agreement to create national dementia plan
TORONTO, Ont. (October
2
, 2014)
–
The Alzheimer Society of Canada welcomes Health Minister
Rona Ambrose’s announcement
yesterday
that she and her provincial
and territorial
counterparts have agreed to collaborate on a national plan to curb
the staggering personal,
societal and economic toll of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.
“This is excellent news,” said Mimi Lowi
-
Dementia is a huge threat to our public health system and to our nation's productivity. It’s vital
that we address it collectively in a coordinated way
to make sure people living with this disease
get the help they
need and that our researchers
can
determine what causes it and can better
understand how to treat it.”
So that's the latest news on the problem that effects so many around he world...To see the people on the 2nd floor, sitting in a large circle in the solarium around the t.v. - after lunch, all sitting with their eyes closed, hardly noticing each other or speaking, is really sad. reminds me of a movie I never thought I would see anyone I knew in that condition, the movie was "Cocoon"...
The news in this place is that Mac is sitting listening to music, eyes closed but his feet are dancing up and down in time...I will try to give him a before bedtime walk around the people sitting in the lobby, although they too have the big A. for some it is not so advanced and they enjoy
having Mac well and waving to them..we will say goodnight to Alice our former dining table friend. Mac does not go down to eat there anymore, in fact Mac is still not eating..doc says by next week if he is still not eating i.e. only boost milkshakes, he will take him off one of his meds as it is a bit of an appetite depresser. or something. we'll see...so on we go for our in-house walk. bye now
Monday 6 October 2014
Monday, October 6, 2014...Let's jump and run...
Mac is here in our apartment, he has finished two glasses of milkshake - made with boost chocolate pudding, frozen yogurt, banana, strawberries and milk..now eating two tiny morsels of pineapple.
Today wouldn't get out of bed till 10:30 a.m and with quite a struggle for the preposee, but she managed, but no breakfast, and rien rien lunch as they told me.so that after going up and down 4 x from my apt to his , (took from 10;00 to 2;00 to get him up here). The last time I asked him if he wanted to come up he said, sure let's jump and run.... and now he's happily listening to the radio.
In answer to emails, just to let y'all know I am trying to do stuff without you know who.... I'm including the following:-
Yes we did get up north, that pic I sent you shows our two little cottages in paradise on the lake..I had to leave Mac at home but the good thing is for the first time in two years I was able to walk around the lake, renew my acquaintance with all the beauty – the fab foliage – and some of the locals that I usually only see in summer t'was super, if I can manage will send you a couple more pics…
BUT, just outside my window the trees are spectacular . the sun is shining, and I’ve got my lover here. Actually tried to wash his hair at the kitchen sink with 5 big plastic bags, placed between the sink and his hair and body. I even cut his mustache, beard eyebrows and some of the hair over his ears..he looks terrific, though very very thin. He has eaten a piece of my homemade banana bread, had a cup of coffee(for breakfast), will now try to give him some lunch, soup and egg sandwich, we’ll see if he eats it..you wouldn’t believe how thin he is now..also his walking is the pits,
drags his left leg, poor guy."
Well no he didn't eat the soup or the sandwich that day, and now he will only eat one piece of pineapple. Will try to get him to walk a little more today, and eat a little more.
With the up and down days and mood of Mac, causes me to be just as bad, and find myself feeling very sorry for myself and crying, thinking I've done the wrong thing he should be with me, but I know that I can't manage so on and on my mind goes in circles ...then I read about poor families losing their homes to rebels, others dying from Ebola I say to myself, o.k. Jan, get a handle on this, you've had 62 years of marriage to a great guy, he's sick now, but he is here with you, do your best and stop the nonsense..make your life and his as good as possible.
so will try, g'bye.
Saturday 4 October 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014 I want to go home
So far all is still UP and DOWN literally and figuratively with the new arrangement i.e. Mac downstairs on 2nd floor, me on the 6th… it is so so disturbing at times, for instance today all seemed great when I went down for Mac, around 11;30 - all was well the preposee said he had a little little brekkie at 8:30 a.m, There he was already seated for lunch and happy to see me, then all of a sudden, some guy in the hall was screaming, F---- Bastard…wow it was awful..I turned to Eunice the preposee serving the lunch , said hey which one is that..thinking it was one of the alzheimer’s patients…she said it is the husband of a lady who gets her meals in her room, he is angry because she was not the first one served. Well he sounded like a real maniac..I know I get frazzled when I feel Mac needs more attention …but it sure won’t work that way.
At times the noise from different patients gets too much, but thankfully today Maureen brought us two nice cushioned wicker chairs not too big which fits nicely plus a lamp –so when things get out of hand I’m going to have the preposee if I’m not there, bring him to the room to relax..and of course if I’m there that’s where we can go and settle down…as this going up and down is getting hard for Mac, once a day perhaps – we’ll see..we are supposed to get a room for Mac, but who knows where or when, they are really filled up.
The room he is in is big, but most of it is taken by Walter, Mac’s room mate, his furniture is utilitarian, round card table, straight chairs and bureaus, Walter is either out in the main solarium sitting quietly – snoozing, or napping in his bed…he should have our side of the room, I could fix up his large side of the room beautifully, but it’s not going to happen. He has the windows, we have the door side.
At night when they wash mac all over for bed, he swears and growls…when they get Walter ready, he goes oy oy oy oy…in a loud cry, it’s so sad, every night same thing, they forget that its just a short thing, and not hard – warm face cloth etc..but they hate it. I’m waiting to see when Mac will have his shower, that’s going to be a humdinger,,,but it has to be soon his hair is so greasy…
Tonight was rather sad Mac said, “I want to go home”, I said, this is home, he just said “oh is it”, and was quite content once he was in bed..his mattress seems really hard, I’m going to check that out..and see if I can get him a nicer one. And so it goes, I’m going to get on my mattress now -
so g'nite..
At times the noise from different patients gets too much, but thankfully today Maureen brought us two nice cushioned wicker chairs not too big which fits nicely plus a lamp –so when things get out of hand I’m going to have the preposee if I’m not there, bring him to the room to relax..and of course if I’m there that’s where we can go and settle down…as this going up and down is getting hard for Mac, once a day perhaps – we’ll see..we are supposed to get a room for Mac, but who knows where or when, they are really filled up.
The room he is in is big, but most of it is taken by Walter, Mac’s room mate, his furniture is utilitarian, round card table, straight chairs and bureaus, Walter is either out in the main solarium sitting quietly – snoozing, or napping in his bed…he should have our side of the room, I could fix up his large side of the room beautifully, but it’s not going to happen. He has the windows, we have the door side.
At night when they wash mac all over for bed, he swears and growls…when they get Walter ready, he goes oy oy oy oy…in a loud cry, it’s so sad, every night same thing, they forget that its just a short thing, and not hard – warm face cloth etc..but they hate it. I’m waiting to see when Mac will have his shower, that’s going to be a humdinger,,,but it has to be soon his hair is so greasy…
Tonight was rather sad Mac said, “I want to go home”, I said, this is home, he just said “oh is it”, and was quite content once he was in bed..his mattress seems really hard, I’m going to check that out..and see if I can get him a nicer one. And so it goes, I’m going to get on my mattress now -
so g'nite..
Thursday 2 October 2014
Thursday, October 3, 2014 SHUT UP !!!
Well life continues in the slow, slow, lane of the 2nd Floor for Mac, and for me it's run down from the 6th to the 2nd - between 8:00-900 a.m. - check out if he allowed the preposees to dress him, if he managed to eat any breakfast, and so on ....usually he is either sleeping, and we leave him till he wakes up...and for sure he NEVER eats any breakfast... he would sleep till 4:00 p.m. some days and some days he would want to get dressed but not happily..BUT, I realized the big problem was the way that this is done...either lying on the bed, or standing by the side of the bed...in both cases he feels "out of control" as he is still weak. I had them (the preposees) speak to the ones that he had on this floor. As I told them he feels more secure sitting on the toilet seat that has side rails, getting up and down for the washing etc is easier...that was the way the preposees did it on this floor..Well that worked fairly well, and though he still hates getting washed, that is still a problem, whether they let him do it, or they do it..it's ongoing..I have also tried to convince them they do not have to repeat everything 5 times, in a loud voice i.e. sit down sit down sit DOWN...and he made that clear when last night to the nice guy he has who was doing exactly that...Mac screamed, SHUT UP.
.There is of course the language problem, as most of the preposees even if they do speak English, have an accent, whether Moroccan, Haitian, or French Canadian, though he is starting to understand, now just to get them to lower their voices, I find that for the most part they are alays talking at a louder than normal volumn - even to each other.Of course many of the clients are fairly deaf, so makes sense.
So the biggest problem now, he hardly eats anything...so far he has about one glass of milkshake (which I make from strawberries, banana, boost frozen yogurt and milk)..the meals they provide are all left to go cold...which is awful, as he usually loves mashed potatoes, meat gravy, and a veg...plus soup juice and dessert..but it's been almost three weeks - no solid food.
So far, although he is with me most of the day, either there (2nd flr in the activity room or on the 6th he seems to have adjusted somewhat, - let's me leave and come back quite readily. Not going to count on this as we know what happens when I do.
The one who really needs to adjust to all this is ME, I miss him - and really enjoy when he smiles and I'm ecstatic when I can involve him in a conversation, like yesterday, I told him I met a woman whose husband , now dead, was a hockey player, that Mac knew in the old days..a Bob Frampton..that got us talking about hockey, lacrosse and the players he knew...when he was stick boy for the Black Hawks, junior and senior Royals, and helped with their skates, shared training, and lived on the cat walk, in the MontrealForum, (at ages 12-15)
Now to see if he is eating his supper..I doubt it...g'bye I'm on my way to the 2nd floor for the 4th time today.
.There is of course the language problem, as most of the preposees even if they do speak English, have an accent, whether Moroccan, Haitian, or French Canadian, though he is starting to understand, now just to get them to lower their voices, I find that for the most part they are alays talking at a louder than normal volumn - even to each other.Of course many of the clients are fairly deaf, so makes sense.
So the biggest problem now, he hardly eats anything...so far he has about one glass of milkshake (which I make from strawberries, banana, boost frozen yogurt and milk)..the meals they provide are all left to go cold...which is awful, as he usually loves mashed potatoes, meat gravy, and a veg...plus soup juice and dessert..but it's been almost three weeks - no solid food.
So far, although he is with me most of the day, either there (2nd flr in the activity room or on the 6th he seems to have adjusted somewhat, - let's me leave and come back quite readily. Not going to count on this as we know what happens when I do.
The one who really needs to adjust to all this is ME, I miss him - and really enjoy when he smiles and I'm ecstatic when I can involve him in a conversation, like yesterday, I told him I met a woman whose husband , now dead, was a hockey player, that Mac knew in the old days..a Bob Frampton..that got us talking about hockey, lacrosse and the players he knew...when he was stick boy for the Black Hawks, junior and senior Royals, and helped with their skates, shared training, and lived on the cat walk, in the MontrealForum, (at ages 12-15)
Now to see if he is eating his supper..I doubt it...g'bye I'm on my way to the 2nd floor for the 4th time today.
Saturday 27 September 2014
Saturday 27, September 2014 no no NO NO NO
This morning at 8;00 a.m. went down to the 2nd floor to see if Mac could get dressed and come up for his coffee. He has never been easy to get up and although he was pleasant in bed saying, "ok will get up but not now." Later 9:30 we tried, I'm worn out from helping them get him dressed; as he kicked wouldn't take his meds - we forced his clothes on as he screamed no no no...now I just decided o.k. this is it, they are supposed to be the ones to help, I'm exhausted, so I have come up here. The up and down of this disease, is for him, and for me; at this time... awful.. Everyone else on that floor is sitting peacefully, after their breakfast...he is raving raging mad and like a mad bull - it took three people and much cajoling, but now he is dressed, but he would not come with me...so I've left the scene.
This is what a friend just wrote in her email this a.m.
This transition time will ease, I’m sure, as a pattern sets in.
good, in a way, that you had already made the major move you did so that
you have the help you need.
Well in answer to this...I'm going to leave this blog, as the transition time is too sad, the up and down of it is playing havoc with my mind and my body, it's 10:15,a,m. I'm exhausted ...hopefully will be able to return to it when life is in a better place...that is in a better place for a few days at a time. Yesterday was the pits till 4;00 - by evening he was fine...so that's the way it goes, hopefully that is the way it will go today
I'll be back - in a few days.. maybe
This is what a friend just wrote in her email this a.m.
This transition time will ease, I’m sure, as a pattern sets in.
good, in a way, that you had already made the major move you did so that
you have the help you need.
Well in answer to this...I'm going to leave this blog, as the transition time is too sad, the up and down of it is playing havoc with my mind and my body, it's 10:15,a,m. I'm exhausted ...hopefully will be able to return to it when life is in a better place...that is in a better place for a few days at a time. Yesterday was the pits till 4;00 - by evening he was fine...so that's the way it goes, hopefully that is the way it will go today
I'll be back - in a few days.. maybe
Thursday 25 September 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014...no lunch thanks
A friend of mine sent my latest blog re Mac's stay in hospital etc to another friend, so she emailed me right away to say now she is up to date, so the folloing is what I wrote to her
So now you know the story so that's good...I'm sure you can continue to follow the ups and downs of mac's memory now on the blog...It's kind of a way to keep my mind on just what's happening as well as letting family and friends be aware as well. I'll send you the url... Now I need to know how you are doing in your new digs...I have been in the Belvedere building, visited a woman from Teapot, she is lovely lady - June - on 4th floor ...so I can picture your surroundings and apartment, she has a 2 bedroom. She is a volunteer worker at the Karolyns Kloset Mondays at the Teapot.
Hope you are able to get to the lake today, it's glorious out there, and depending on mac's walking ability ..which doesn't look too good, we will try to get out in our little back garden or the park right in back of us. he spent yesterday in bed - would not eat or drink anything all day, so as you know if you read my blog, this is a real switch from the day before...
Today he is here in my apartment with much talk of feeling shaky, not with it, etc..but he did have breakfast and is sitting in his chair listening to cbc music - eyes closed - head nodding to the rhythm of Glen Gould's version of ..Brahm's E minor concerto -with a disclaimer by Bernstein conductor. Hope you are enjoying it too. Mac's love of all music, but particularly classic and jazz are a saving grace in his sometimes sad/happy journey for the past 7 years
The current situation is he will,( if he is able) - spend the days here in our apartment - the nights in a room on the 2nd floor...giving me the opportunity for a good night's sleep, well that is working fairly well,..that is, if he settles down o.k. but as we know it's one day at a time. If he is not able to be in our apartment,eithe because he will not get up - like yesterday, or he is ill then he will stay on the second floor where he has care and I can be free to be with him or not -;as there are nurses and preposees on that floor able to check him; , but, I still have my persons to stay with him when I go out for any length of time...as I want him to have individual attention. Thankfully both ladies, Debbie and Cecilia, love him and are there for both of us. - new computer - has been a problem, the guy is supposed to come next Friday - have to go on webnet, so please let me know if you receive this asap....thanks
Well we are going to try to go out for a tiny walk in the park-mac has refused lunch, coffee,chocolate -and I'm making up for his abstinence by eating everything he refuses...damn. bye now
So now you know the story so that's good...I'm sure you can continue to follow the ups and downs of mac's memory now on the blog...It's kind of a way to keep my mind on just what's happening as well as letting family and friends be aware as well. I'll send you the url... Now I need to know how you are doing in your new digs...I have been in the Belvedere building, visited a woman from Teapot, she is lovely lady - June - on 4th floor ...so I can picture your surroundings and apartment, she has a 2 bedroom. She is a volunteer worker at the Karolyns Kloset Mondays at the Teapot.
Hope you are able to get to the lake today, it's glorious out there, and depending on mac's walking ability ..which doesn't look too good, we will try to get out in our little back garden or the park right in back of us. he spent yesterday in bed - would not eat or drink anything all day, so as you know if you read my blog, this is a real switch from the day before...
Today he is here in my apartment with much talk of feeling shaky, not with it, etc..but he did have breakfast and is sitting in his chair listening to cbc music - eyes closed - head nodding to the rhythm of Glen Gould's version of ..Brahm's E minor concerto -with a disclaimer by Bernstein conductor. Hope you are enjoying it too. Mac's love of all music, but particularly classic and jazz are a saving grace in his sometimes sad/happy journey for the past 7 years
The current situation is he will,( if he is able) - spend the days here in our apartment - the nights in a room on the 2nd floor...giving me the opportunity for a good night's sleep, well that is working fairly well,..that is, if he settles down o.k. but as we know it's one day at a time. If he is not able to be in our apartment,eithe because he will not get up - like yesterday, or he is ill then he will stay on the second floor where he has care and I can be free to be with him or not -;as there are nurses and preposees on that floor able to check him; , but, I still have my persons to stay with him when I go out for any length of time...as I want him to have individual attention. Thankfully both ladies, Debbie and Cecilia, love him and are there for both of us. - new computer - has been a problem, the guy is supposed to come next Friday - have to go on webnet, so please let me know if you receive this asap....thanks
Well we are going to try to go out for a tiny walk in the park-mac has refused lunch, coffee,chocolate -and I'm making up for his abstinence by eating everything he refuses...damn. bye now
Tuesday 23 September 2014
Tuesday, September 23, 2014 And how are you???
Well we are home, arrived here by ambulance yesterday..4:00 p.m. Mac slept all day Sunday, and all Monday till we arrived home..he only ate a couple of bites of a banana both days and that's it..So it was with trepidation that I approached his room on the second floor;but he was so tired he just drifted off to sleep in the room there which he shares with a very quiet old man. So this morning I was prepared to see him still lying in he bed, though the head nurse told me he would have breakfast around 8:00-8:30..Surprise there was Mac, sitting at the side of his bed, he had walked, by himself out of the room, the preposee had apparently just brought him back. So she dressed him for the day (with some non-cooperation from Mac)..but then he was fine, I was shocked, he was walking and smiling, and quite happy. I brought his breakfast up to our apartment - he was not keen on the bowl of porridge, no brown sugar or cream, orange juice and toast..so I gave him his usual brekkie mix of bran and bran flakes, strawberries, bananas yogurt and cream...ate it all quite happily.
Later he had a good lunch here in our apartment, also supplied by the 2nd floor kitchen; after when speaking to Maureen on the phone...he answered all questions clearly, and then surprised her by asking that question, "and how are you???plus when he coughed, said "excuse me"...the rest of the day, continued in this positive way..even to the extent that I could leave him on the 2nd floor with the other residents there, said goodbye, and went to get a few groceries...rushed back and all was fine...wow this is looking good. By the way the 2nd floor is a lockdown floor so he cannot leave plus there are preposees checking the residents who all seem to sit in a large circle around in the activity area either watching t.v. or just sitting in their wheelchairs or regular big chairs. Mac seemed quite at home..
Tonight no problem he seems to accept that room downstairs is his bedroom, I stayed till he had his pills, then left saying - "see you in the morning", and heard him say "okay" so that's it...okay..hurrah I'm not expecting this to be the way it is every day, but I'm enjoying this to the hilt...now to watch t.v. wow something I never could do - hmmm what's on, must go and see, g'nite.
Later he had a good lunch here in our apartment, also supplied by the 2nd floor kitchen; after when speaking to Maureen on the phone...he answered all questions clearly, and then surprised her by asking that question, "and how are you???plus when he coughed, said "excuse me"...the rest of the day, continued in this positive way..even to the extent that I could leave him on the 2nd floor with the other residents there, said goodbye, and went to get a few groceries...rushed back and all was fine...wow this is looking good. By the way the 2nd floor is a lockdown floor so he cannot leave plus there are preposees checking the residents who all seem to sit in a large circle around in the activity area either watching t.v. or just sitting in their wheelchairs or regular big chairs. Mac seemed quite at home..
Tonight no problem he seems to accept that room downstairs is his bedroom, I stayed till he had his pills, then left saying - "see you in the morning", and heard him say "okay" so that's it...okay..hurrah I'm not expecting this to be the way it is every day, but I'm enjoying this to the hilt...now to watch t.v. wow something I never could do - hmmm what's on, must go and see, g'nite.
Sunday 21 September 2014
Sunday, September 21,2014 hmm go there....??
So along with much cursing, Mac was pointing with his index finger to different parts of he room, he was, (I think) trying to figure a way out of the hospital...not a happy camper today. Last night he was quite content, sitting in a wheel chair, listening to jazz, letting me dance with him, (I dance he sits and holds my hand)..but none of that today...From the word go this a.m. when they tried to get him up and changed etc. he was turning the atmosphere blue with his rage, till finally he was settled in a chair. He is so vulnerable, and it's so sad to see, he thinks each time they move him, he may fall, he has no concept of what's going on and it takes a special person to work with him - yesterday's personnel were terrific, can't say he same for the nurses and preposees today, except for one.
But the good news is he is off all special meds, no more IVs..he is still coughing but it seems to be just the effects of the horrible episode with his false teeth, and the operation itself...The trauma of all that has really affected him, he is walking with help on both sides, and except for great swearing ability, his verbal skills are not good has problems letting us know what he needs or wants. Today he satin I chair all day refused both breakfast and lunch, I managed to share a banana with him, then by 4;00 he was chewing on his hospital gown, so gave him some of my tortilla till his dinner came at 4;30 then all he would eat was the pureed meat...
Tomorrow he will probably be able to come back home, if all goes well ...I'm hoping to have him placed in the infirmary on main floor, but the girl at the desk downstairs says no, he'll be on 2nd floor, well that's not where I planned, but we'll see...my idea is to have him there for nights and I will do my best to look after him in our apartment in the day...all this will cost of course, but that goes with the territory of aging and health problems.
Like to end on a positive note,looking out the hospital window with Mac we enjoyed a spectacular sundown; here's hoping it's an omen for better days ahead...g'nite
But the good news is he is off all special meds, no more IVs..he is still coughing but it seems to be just the effects of the horrible episode with his false teeth, and the operation itself...The trauma of all that has really affected him, he is walking with help on both sides, and except for great swearing ability, his verbal skills are not good has problems letting us know what he needs or wants. Today he satin I chair all day refused both breakfast and lunch, I managed to share a banana with him, then by 4;00 he was chewing on his hospital gown, so gave him some of my tortilla till his dinner came at 4;30 then all he would eat was the pureed meat...
Tomorrow he will probably be able to come back home, if all goes well ...I'm hoping to have him placed in the infirmary on main floor, but the girl at the desk downstairs says no, he'll be on 2nd floor, well that's not where I planned, but we'll see...my idea is to have him there for nights and I will do my best to look after him in our apartment in the day...all this will cost of course, but that goes with the territory of aging and health problems.
Like to end on a positive note,looking out the hospital window with Mac we enjoyed a spectacular sundown; here's hoping it's an omen for better days ahead...g'nite
Friday 19 September 2014
Friday, September 19, 2014 godammit...
That was the clearest message we've had from Mac for about three days...Monday delirious most of the day, Tuesday and Wednesday horrible days - especially Wednesday, where he was so out of it in pain around his throat and coughing constantly spitting and unable to speak incoherent and upset..although the scan showed he did not have pneumonia it was clear there definitely was something wrong going on...the doctor was saying possibly the pneumonia was there but not showing, also possible abcess.. whatever; he could not take food, so no meals was posted on his bed...by yesterday morning I was beside myself, as I watched him turning and tossing in pain, with spasms shaking his body every two minutes ...I even said to the nurse for heaven sakes take him off all the IV's let him go I can't stand seeing this we wouldn't let an animal go through so much pain. He was so bad that when Maureen called she said just that, he sounds like some sort of animal growling and in pain. Trying to get him to spit up the phelem was impossible, he would swallow it...the inhalation specialist came to try to drain some of the fluid from his
throat she managed to get over a cup of blood and spit...after she left I kept telling him to spit, the nurse gave me a spongie on a stick to clear his mouth and so I pressed the thing on his tongue (which by the way was black with dried blood) maybe a little hard and all of a sudden a huge mass of blood and phlem came out in the facecloth I was holding, shock and surprise - there was his top partial plate...We were all stunned, poor Mac had that damn thing in his throat for 3 nights and two days...within minutes his gyrations and anxiety were calmed - although he still had some pain in his throat...when the nurses came to clear up the mess on his bedclothes and turn him over. I was just so happy to hear him say a vey clear goddamit...although he still seemed unable to speak clearly but then it wasn't necessary, as he fell fast asleep with just a little groaning and snoring for the rest of the day...apparently that was the problem OF COURSE, O.R nurses should have removed the teeh, I should have been told not to keep them in his mouth as Monday the top ones did come out and Gaye had helped me put them back...All hindsight now is how sad and stupid it was...
So now I'm on my way to see how he is today..thanks for all the emails, my computer is still not allowing me to send answers..i can get on fb but many emails have been sent so I will get back to those who sent them, and keep on praying, it's not all over, but looking so much better....xxxxgbye
throat she managed to get over a cup of blood and spit...after she left I kept telling him to spit, the nurse gave me a spongie on a stick to clear his mouth and so I pressed the thing on his tongue (which by the way was black with dried blood) maybe a little hard and all of a sudden a huge mass of blood and phlem came out in the facecloth I was holding, shock and surprise - there was his top partial plate...We were all stunned, poor Mac had that damn thing in his throat for 3 nights and two days...within minutes his gyrations and anxiety were calmed - although he still had some pain in his throat...when the nurses came to clear up the mess on his bedclothes and turn him over. I was just so happy to hear him say a vey clear goddamit...although he still seemed unable to speak clearly but then it wasn't necessary, as he fell fast asleep with just a little groaning and snoring for the rest of the day...apparently that was the problem OF COURSE, O.R nurses should have removed the teeh, I should have been told not to keep them in his mouth as Monday the top ones did come out and Gaye had helped me put them back...All hindsight now is how sad and stupid it was...
So now I'm on my way to see how he is today..thanks for all the emails, my computer is still not allowing me to send answers..i can get on fb but many emails have been sent so I will get back to those who sent them, and keep on praying, it's not all over, but looking so much better....xxxxgbye
Wednesday 17 September 2014
Wednesday, September 17, 2014 yah uh iyah uh na
Mac has to be asked questions that require a yes or no answer, i.e. are you okay? and the answer can be both yah and na...he wants so much to make his wants clear, but now it's impossible he cannot speak properly, by this evening he could not walk, his legs would just crumple...and cannot eat..has mucus in his throat, not sure about his lungs, but they did a scan and they seem o.k. His throat or each side of his neck seems to ache.
Tomorrow we will see what the doctor has to say, so far the order is "no food for the a.m. breakfast, " as when he swallows he is or seems in pain, so all this will have to be checked out, I will try to get there early tomorrow, before 8:30, as usually I'm there just before 9:00 the doc may come before who knows.. it's up and down, temp and blood pressure perfect, then at night not ...was taking antibiotic in an IV then by pill now back to an IV
The specialist for breathing came in and decided impossible to drain or even think of doing anything in his throat he would react and she could not be responsible for the damage that this would cause..changing him even moving him causes big problems..his spasms and jerky movements have increased.
The doctor who did the operation Dr. Woo, said on Monday - he will not go
back home till he is back at the base line with which he came to the hospital..well in that case he sure will not be coming home tomorrow I am wishing I could have the base line that I had before he went in last Thursday tomorrow will be one week..feels like an eternity I have not been able to get rid of the lump in my throat, and the pain in my heart...friends have been praying, and I thank them so have I, the same old prayer that I say to myself even when he was home and no, with every breath, help Mac, and help me. g'nite
Tomorrow we will see what the doctor has to say, so far the order is "no food for the a.m. breakfast, " as when he swallows he is or seems in pain, so all this will have to be checked out, I will try to get there early tomorrow, before 8:30, as usually I'm there just before 9:00 the doc may come before who knows.. it's up and down, temp and blood pressure perfect, then at night not ...was taking antibiotic in an IV then by pill now back to an IV
The specialist for breathing came in and decided impossible to drain or even think of doing anything in his throat he would react and she could not be responsible for the damage that this would cause..changing him even moving him causes big problems..his spasms and jerky movements have increased.
The doctor who did the operation Dr. Woo, said on Monday - he will not go
back home till he is back at the base line with which he came to the hospital..well in that case he sure will not be coming home tomorrow I am wishing I could have the base line that I had before he went in last Thursday tomorrow will be one week..feels like an eternity I have not been able to get rid of the lump in my throat, and the pain in my heart...friends have been praying, and I thank them so have I, the same old prayer that I say to myself even when he was home and no, with every breath, help Mac, and help me. g'nite
Tuesday 16 September 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014 Nooo don want....
Trying to give Mac his antibiotic pill mixed with yogurt, and that was the answer, noo nooo don want, but I kind of forced it as it's so important for him to have it...and since he hardly ate anything all day..he needs the antibiotic if he is to get well. Sadly I don't think he will be coming home tomorrow, he has been coughing up phleme constantly, and spitting it any old place, the floor, the bed the pillow...doesn't seem to get it, I kept saying, Mac, please spit in this towel, but to no avail...perhaps that's what happened to his false top 4 teeth, he must have coughed them oiut last night, and this morning when I arrived - there was Mac without his top teeth, and though I spent so much time on my hands and knees looking all over the floor, under he bed, I even put my hands in he waste baskets where dirty stuff, including nurses plastic gloves, ugh...but no teeth. And as far as the nurses, preposees and cleaning staff are concerned, it's like "hummm wonder what could have happened to them...and on they go with their jobs. I must admit they are really busy, and so what can they do.
In the meantime, the doctor was in earlier and I missed her, but she ordered xray session for his lungs, which I have not gotten any results as yet. The nurse on duty tonight said to me before I left...don't count on him returning home tomorrow, I think he has pneumonia, and now his blood pressure and temperature are both high...this a.m. they were perfect. So I'm signing off with eyes that can hardly see for tears g'nite
In the meantime, the doctor was in earlier and I missed her, but she ordered xray session for his lungs, which I have not gotten any results as yet. The nurse on duty tonight said to me before I left...don't count on him returning home tomorrow, I think he has pneumonia, and now his blood pressure and temperature are both high...this a.m. they were perfect. So I'm signing off with eyes that can hardly see for tears g'nite
Saturday 13 September 2014
Saturday, September 13, 2014 Grrruuumm goaayaway....
That's Mac's yelling as well as screaming obscenities to the poor nurses and preposees as they prepped him for the operation today..but for me, it was poor Mac, he didn't really get it. Here he was nicely dreaming on a morphine wave and along came these aliens to harass him. Later, once he was sedated again, the operation was done and all went well. He came back to his room sleeping at about 5 p.m. and when I left tonight just before 9, he was still asleep, making little noises, snoring, and apparently has only 4 holes to show that he is missing his appendix.
'
Must look up the procedure - they were not sure if they could do this as he has had prostate cancer and the doc thought there may be too much scar tissue, but guess not, as the nurse showed me his 4 tapes on his tummy. The woman doc, was Doctor Woo, looks like she did a very neat job.
So just to let y'all know that my guy continued to be his grumpy self, but all the nurses were keen on his blue eyes, and so am I, so will let you know when he'll be back home, which may be soon...g'nite
'
Must look up the procedure - they were not sure if they could do this as he has had prostate cancer and the doc thought there may be too much scar tissue, but guess not, as the nurse showed me his 4 tapes on his tummy. The woman doc, was Doctor Woo, looks like she did a very neat job.
So just to let y'all know that my guy continued to be his grumpy self, but all the nurses were keen on his blue eyes, and so am I, so will let you know when he'll be back home, which may be soon...g'nite
Friday 12 September 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014 No...don wannayoou gooo..
And therefore this is very short...Mac is in hospital, he had appendicitis - it's a long story, but he went in last night, and I'm just home to feed the cat, and have a sleep...before I get back to him early tomorrow a.m. I plan to see the doctor who will hopefully have made the decision either to have him on antibiotics and home, or he may have an operation.... I left Mac tonight who looked fsst asleep, with the help of morphine for his awful pains...so I said, bye Mac ...i'll be back in the morning, and he said NOOOO donwanayou go...
I didn't wanngo either, so plan to stay overnight tomorrow but have to set things up for the cat, the fish and do a few other things before I get back to Mac,so g'nite
I didn't wanngo either, so plan to stay overnight tomorrow but have to set things up for the cat, the fish and do a few other things before I get back to Mac,so g'nite
Tuesday 9 September 2014
It doesn't fit and that's the problem bugging Mac, his teeth didn't fit..so out came his bottom teeth, luckily I found them in his sheets, I wondered what he was talking about there. Anyway, we decided to go to the denturologist to see what the problem was..well not sure if there really was a problem. The denturologist seemed to think it was all in his mind, but did do some filing of his denture and said it's going to be o.k. and thankfully, so far it is. I'm not going to try to use paragraphs as this blog square or whatever is acting super silly, small fonts large fonts , plus starting in the middle. But I want to put it in the record that Mac has been having denture problems, it's good to have it there so I"ll know when and how and what we did about stuff. Can't believe today - a really good day, woke up almost on his own. happily...brushed teeth, and came with me to the Doctor's office - to find out what my lump is -I well it's a benign tumor, called a lipoma..a kind of fatty ball inside my right waist. and it's not a problem, so that's good to know...Mac was fine at the office and fine all afternoon when my book group gabbed away about our latest book, enjoyed all the company and attention...so since I write about all the disruptions of which we've had a few since I last wrote, i.e. up and down behavior at night, wanting to find his mom, his family etc..either I'm getting better at deflecting the problems that usually come up with this , or he is reacting better to my suggestions. Sunday evening e had fun at the park with Finley, Brianna and Val, but as soon as it started to get dark, his eye or perception of where and how we were walking caused him to have anxiety problems, so must remember, no walking out after eight p.m. why give myself a problem...I was pleased with his reaction to all the people 7 women here today, who all spoke to him individually and his answers although at times a bit incoherent, were so happy. When we went down with them as they left the building, his exuberance was such that he was shaking hands with the people in the lobby, smiling and altogether a wonderful happy camper, so to keep up this behavior, I'll go for a walk with him while it's still light and enjoy the happy non-crabby old man....g'nite.
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