The past Tuesday, I took a sentimental journey to Prescott, Ont. Have never been there before, but I went with my friend to visit her cousin Pat. Pat lives in a Residence for Seniors with ailments, BUT, not the big A. The sad thing is that apparently Pat has a type of Dementia, (frontal lobe type) and the staff there are unable to look after her, so she will have to move. In the meantime she is there till she can be placed.
Well it was quite a nice little town and the reason for the sentiment in my case was that my sister used to say she liked small Ontario towns, so decided I'd see one for myself, and it was a neat place with Ontario type houses - red brick - large verandahs, lovely big trees and gardens..after looking around the town - got back to the residence in time to go out for lunch with my friend Ginny and her cousin. It was interesting, as I noticed how well Pat seemed. No too obvious Alzheimer shuffle or behaviours, although her meat had to be cut for her - but other than that, she was able to discuss old times with us and sing some old Girl Guide songs (this in the car).
When we returned from lunch, we watched and listened to a man singing and entertaining ...when he sang the song Gonna take a Sentimental Journey..both Pat and I danced together and our voices took off, as we got to the part Seven that's the time we leave at seven...and so with leaving in mind, that's what we did as we kind of danced our way to the front door. Altogether a wonderful time with a really pleasant lady.
So it was rather a surprise when Ginny informed me that Pat rarely spoke to anyone except Ginny herself, and Pat's good friend who usually visits but at this time the good friend is recovering from an operation-actually Ginny is really taking the good friend's place. Ginny said, I guess it's because you were so natural with her, ..I said "she seems to be so on-target, and not too agitated and although she repeatedly asked for her good friend's whereabouts, for the most part she was fine" (how many times have I heard people say that about Mac )
Turns out and like Mac,...she was not so fine..When she had to be bathed, Ginny played some quiet music to soothe her while she helped the nurse's aide, undress her, then when Ginny stepped out to let the aide continue...apparently all hell broke loose,and the aide came out saying.."you can finish cleaning her - she is swearing and hitting me. I won't put up with that rudeness..So Ginny went back, and finished the job. And there you have it frustration. The same old story, of course knowing the person well is the big key..but
When will nurses and nursing aides have training with elderly people suffering from all types of dementia..Yesterday, another friend told me of her visit to a really aged friend (100 yrs old). She went on to say the nursing aide, was rough, and almost cruel in the way she handled the old lady. Then she added, "you know it's not as if she has Alzheimer's or a type of dementia, she is normal and so clean." Well there's two things we can see here..Really elderly people are unable to be assertive, are weak and often weak voiced. Workers seem to take out their anger or their dislike of the work on these vunerable souls..but secondly, there is the unspoken thought..if one has Alzheimer's its o.k. to be rough or cruel..after all they are scary they get violent..they really have to be put away.
This attitude for both types of elderly peoples has got to change..and the change has got to come through education..of nurses, nurses aides, and the general public. Remember everyone get's old or hopes to; also, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's up to us to make the changes..wherever we can.
I'm suggesting to my friend Ginny, and my other friend that they should take steps - 1. Talk to the Administration when they see this type of attitude. 2. If the nurse or nurse-aide, preposee or whoever exhibits this in front of you..make it clear that you will not accept this and say I will help you to understand, and try to change the scene ..and if it can't be changed..tell whoever that "sorry but this has to be reported."
We had a Corn roast yesterday..I had one cob of corn and had to leave but I noticed all the preposees were having a good time, they seemed to be dancing to the music provided, and at the same time helping to serve the elderly from the buffet table. Well when I spoke to 90 yr old Line tonight, she said I will never go to one of those affairs again, no one helped me, no one brought me any food, and no one even pushed my wheelchair to a table..I could see it would be difficult as The place was very crowded and I could see where this can happen. BUT, tomorrow I will make a suggestion that each preposee be responsible for helping a certain amount of patients and see to it that they do get to be able to enjoy. Maybe nothing will change, but at least I will have the satisfaction of knowing I did try to make a difference.. that may happen to me some day..hey I'm not getting any younger!!! g'nite.
Friday 28 August 2015
Tuesday 25 August 2015
Tuesday, August 25, 05 Life goes on.....here's to you Granmac
We said our goodbyes - Mac's ashes were buried up north at our cottage on the lake...Saturday August 22, 2015. I'm just going to write here the lovely words that our granddaughter, Rosemary said and following her words and mine, each person in the family put some earth over the ashes and so life goes on....
Rosemary's Eulogy
Here's to you Granmac-Mac-Gordon-Sonny Boy
to your gleeful days running obliviously along cars in St. Henri parades
teasing, charming and running with the boys
to your days at the beach and dancing nights with your future wife
a girl in distressed waters - bathing suit ripped
a laugh in the theater - both on different dates
oh the games
you and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what I know of you then.
Here's to you Granmac - Mac - Gordon Sonny boy
father of five
who was REALLY there and who would be forever if you could be.
Strategically placing marbles on the foot of a child's bed
doubling daughters on bikes,
Everybody's man.
This is only some of what I know of you then.
MY memories:
dancing-faces-bouncing a bearded man making a great hullaballoo
parading in singing line up the stairs singing put to bed,
on the dock at the lake I was grumpy, I was 2 or 3,
Don't be grumpy with granmac they told me.
"It's ok. Just let her be" you say chuckling eyes on me still twinkling
We're left together there as we sit in silence, water lapping
and we let each other be, No forced conversation.
You always let me be.
Car rides in the double O seven and hard white mints
mornings up North bright and early, I could hear you in the living room, next to the hearth
phumph! phumph! phumph!
You got the fire going first thing and then the coffee
Then crosswords in the sunroom
In the morning light we would watch the blue jays on the feeding line
and laugh at the chipmunks and squirrels attempting to do the same.
Later we would go to the shed and get some whole peanuts to offer up to Chippy who bit you once.
but you laughed about it and forgave him
You came ferociously around the bend of the cottage,-angry bushman "Who broke the oar!? You roared. The boys scattered and I froze. Wildly looking about eyebrows furrowed and entangled.
defeated tromping back off into the woods grumbling under your breath
(what a moment)
Batting bees out of my hair with great purpose.
An impressive temper, but also an impressive capacity for all emotions
Being secretive, I hid in the back seat of our car parked in the woods. Your moment with your son, Where you collapsed on his shoulder when your sister died. I peered and didn't make a sound until the two of you were gone
That moment in the woods, Those moments in the woods,
You and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what you were to me
Here's to you
forever you will be.
Beautiful words from a beautiful granddaughter. g'nite
Rosemary's Eulogy
Here's to you Granmac-Mac-Gordon-Sonny Boy
to your gleeful days running obliviously along cars in St. Henri parades
teasing, charming and running with the boys
to your days at the beach and dancing nights with your future wife
a girl in distressed waters - bathing suit ripped
a laugh in the theater - both on different dates
oh the games
you and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what I know of you then.
Here's to you Granmac - Mac - Gordon Sonny boy
father of five
who was REALLY there and who would be forever if you could be.
Strategically placing marbles on the foot of a child's bed
doubling daughters on bikes,
Everybody's man.
This is only some of what I know of you then.
MY memories:
dancing-faces-bouncing a bearded man making a great hullaballoo
parading in singing line up the stairs singing put to bed,
on the dock at the lake I was grumpy, I was 2 or 3,
Don't be grumpy with granmac they told me.
"It's ok. Just let her be" you say chuckling eyes on me still twinkling
We're left together there as we sit in silence, water lapping
and we let each other be, No forced conversation.
You always let me be.
Car rides in the double O seven and hard white mints
mornings up North bright and early, I could hear you in the living room, next to the hearth
phumph! phumph! phumph!
You got the fire going first thing and then the coffee
Then crosswords in the sunroom
In the morning light we would watch the blue jays on the feeding line
and laugh at the chipmunks and squirrels attempting to do the same.
Later we would go to the shed and get some whole peanuts to offer up to Chippy who bit you once.
but you laughed about it and forgave him
You came ferociously around the bend of the cottage,-angry bushman "Who broke the oar!? You roared. The boys scattered and I froze. Wildly looking about eyebrows furrowed and entangled.
defeated tromping back off into the woods grumbling under your breath
(what a moment)
Batting bees out of my hair with great purpose.
An impressive temper, but also an impressive capacity for all emotions
Being secretive, I hid in the back seat of our car parked in the woods. Your moment with your son, Where you collapsed on his shoulder when your sister died. I peered and didn't make a sound until the two of you were gone
That moment in the woods, Those moments in the woods,
You and your twinkling eyes - a beautiful man
This is only some of what you were to me
Here's to you
forever you will be.
Beautiful words from a beautiful granddaughter. g'nite
Wednesday 19 August 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2019 Don't know if these blogs....
I'm wondering if these blogs that I've been writing are helping anyone else other than me, but I do think the words are uplifting. Here is another poem enclosed in a sympathy card...
The setting of the Sun
The glory of the setting sun
that paints the evening sky
Reminds the heart
that life holds so much more
than meets the eye
And like the golden sunset
When a loved one leaves this earth
Each tear that falls reminds us
just how much life is worth
For in our hearts the golden glow
of memory shines bright
spreading hope and comfort
through the shadows of the night
And in this way your heart may find
the strength to see you through
In cherishing the memories
that mean so much to you.
This was from Audrey, I think of the time it took her and all the other friends and relatives, to buy a card and look for the words that mean so much to the receiver (myself and family) and then to add a poem or a personal letter, it's, well it's so appreciated..maybe some readers may do the same for others. I will certainly try to do that too..even a short one like the following....
An Olde Irish Wish
May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you
And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love
I know that the Irish seem to love sending these blessings and wishes, as for Mac his love of poetry came from William Blake and Yeats - too bad I didn't save his books, when we moved there were just too many and I went beserk with packing and sent them all off, now I do regret that I didn't save the poetry,,but then of courses there is Google..can always find those poems.
We love Irish poetry and especially the music. In memory I can still see Mac with a tear in his eye when a tour bus driver stopped the bus in a park in Belfast, talked about the troubles, and then said, but this song though it isn't even Irish is as Irish as it gets and then went on to sing Danny Boy....Must look on google to see just who did write that song...wow that really did it to Mac, and what a voice the bus driver had..just wonderful..well I'm going to check it out. g'nite
The setting of the Sun
The glory of the setting sun
that paints the evening sky
Reminds the heart
that life holds so much more
than meets the eye
And like the golden sunset
When a loved one leaves this earth
Each tear that falls reminds us
just how much life is worth
For in our hearts the golden glow
of memory shines bright
spreading hope and comfort
through the shadows of the night
And in this way your heart may find
the strength to see you through
In cherishing the memories
that mean so much to you.
This was from Audrey, I think of the time it took her and all the other friends and relatives, to buy a card and look for the words that mean so much to the receiver (myself and family) and then to add a poem or a personal letter, it's, well it's so appreciated..maybe some readers may do the same for others. I will certainly try to do that too..even a short one like the following....
An Olde Irish Wish
May the raindrops fall lightly on your brow
May the soft winds freshen your spirit
May the sunshine brighten your heart
May the burdens of the day rest lightly upon you
And may God enfold you in the mantle of his love
I know that the Irish seem to love sending these blessings and wishes, as for Mac his love of poetry came from William Blake and Yeats - too bad I didn't save his books, when we moved there were just too many and I went beserk with packing and sent them all off, now I do regret that I didn't save the poetry,,but then of courses there is Google..can always find those poems.
We love Irish poetry and especially the music. In memory I can still see Mac with a tear in his eye when a tour bus driver stopped the bus in a park in Belfast, talked about the troubles, and then said, but this song though it isn't even Irish is as Irish as it gets and then went on to sing Danny Boy....Must look on google to see just who did write that song...wow that really did it to Mac, and what a voice the bus driver had..just wonderful..well I'm going to check it out. g'nite
Monday 17 August 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015 Comforting words.....
Well another few thank-you cards to the many friends who donated to the big A Society in Mac's memory, as well as to those who I did not or was unable to thank personally...and for those I have lost their address, I hope they read this. Thanks again - I am now able to read the cards and they are terrific, thanks for all the comforting words.
Thanks to Kathy for this one
Beannacht
(Blessing)
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble
may the clay dance
to balance you
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you
may a flock of colours
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight
When the canvas frays
in the coracle of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours.
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours
and so may a slow
wind work these words,
of love around you
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
this lovely poem was written by the Irish poet John O'Donahue upon the death of his mother. and as Kathy says she finds it comforting, and reassuring, certainly very Celtic
A coracle is a small boat made of canvas common in old days in Ireland, Scotand and Wales. I think O'Donahue is referring to it's fragility.
Kathy goes on to say you can hear this poet read on you tube. He died much too soon in 2008, but his writings are rich treasures that live on - and as K. saiys much like my memories of Mac
Thanks Kathy ...and Love. g'nite.
Thanks to Kathy for this one
Beannacht
(Blessing)
On the day when
the weight deadens
on your shoulders
and you stumble
may the clay dance
to balance you
And when your eyes
freeze behind
the grey window
and the ghost of loss
gets in to you
may a flock of colours
indigo, red, green
and azure blue
come to awaken in you
a meadow of delight
When the canvas frays
in the coracle of thought
and a stain of ocean
blackens beneath you
may there come across the waters
a path of yellow moonlight
to bring you safely home
May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
may the clarity of light be yours.
may the fluency of the ocean be yours,
may the protection of the ancestors be yours
and so may a slow
wind work these words,
of love around you
an invisible cloak
to mind your life.
this lovely poem was written by the Irish poet John O'Donahue upon the death of his mother. and as Kathy says she finds it comforting, and reassuring, certainly very Celtic
A coracle is a small boat made of canvas common in old days in Ireland, Scotand and Wales. I think O'Donahue is referring to it's fragility.
Kathy goes on to say you can hear this poet read on you tube. He died much too soon in 2008, but his writings are rich treasures that live on - and as K. saiys much like my memories of Mac
Thanks Kathy ...and Love. g'nite.
Friday 14 August 2015
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Friday, August 15, 2015 Dance me to the end of Love....
It's 12:30 a.m. I was in bed sleeping, or almost asleep, then became wide awake, with trying to remember different times in our lives, Mac's and mine. I have been coasting along fairly well, holding up, as they say for the past couple of weeks, but tonight I just seemed to lose it. Up searching through old pictures, old journals, old papers, crying as I watched the power point Gaye made, to the tune of Lenard Cohen's Dance me to the end of Love and trying to find - who knows what..I guess trying to find Mac.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Perhaps it was seeing him in a home movie at my daughter Maureen's home last night. There he was in the movie, about ten years ago. Sitting there, talking, holding our grandson Noah, who at that time was about two years old. Casually Noah was trying to feel Mac's beard. It was kind of funny to see and even as I write this I smile through my tears - so sweet, such a precious memory.
Today met with two good friends, Kathy and Roger, and there was Roger with a beard, almost like Mac's, Kathy said "doesn't he remind you of Mac, with his white curly hair and white beard, although he doesn't have Mac's piercing blue eyes." No he didn't remind me of Mac, well maybe the beard, but I was fine with thinking about that...then a strange thing happened. Kathy bit on a hard toffee type cookie and one of her front teeth jumped out on the table. Well this certainly turned the conversation away from Mac into where and how could Kathy get to a dentist..in the end she decided to wait till they returned home to N.B. but that started another memory for me tonight, .along with the corn on the cob I had for supper,..
and that was thinking about the first time Mac came for dinner at my place after about a month or two of going steady, there was my mom, dad, Mac and I, he was very shy and quiet (age 18 I think)when he bit into his corn on the cob and wow, his four front teeth which were false jumped right out of his mouth onto his plate. Well he was so embarrassed, I remember, how I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing, my mom was embarrassed for him, my dad was kind of stifling his laugh..but in the end it kind of broke the ice. Mac laughed as he put his upper plate back in his mouth. Dad told about one of his own episodes with his false teeth, my mom told of another...and the evening was quite a success with dad and mom just liking Mac so much. (and of course - I was still enthralled with him- even without his teeth he was so handsome)
Mac had another funny time with his teeth when we were at Plattsburg Beach - not too long after the first episode. This time we were jumping and diving in the waves when Mac came up with no front teeth. This also ended on a good note as the couple we were with (Don and Marge) and myself quickly started diving to see if we could find the teeth, I think in the end it was Don who found them. Very soon after that Mac went to his denturolgist who happened to be his brother-in-law Joey...and got the dental plate fixed properly.
So how good is that, as right now, I'm happily remembering, and my tears have stopped hurrah, so I'll go to bed with a smile. Thanks Kathy, hope you get a new tooth soon. g'nite.
Wednesday 12 August 2015
Wednesday, August 12, 2015...Some wise words ....
As I'm going through the many, many cards, letters,and messages of donations to the Alzheimer Society, I am receiving some help from the wise words I've received:-
From the Book No Death, No Fear - by Thich Nhat Hanh Buddhist Monk
This body is not me, I am not caught in this body,
I am life without boundaries
I have never been born and I have never died
Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies
All manifest from the basis of consciousness.
Since beginning time I have always been free
Birth and death are only a door, through which we go in and out
Birth and death are only a game of hide and seek
So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye
Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before
We shall always be meeting again at the true source,
Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.
This and many other messages I received are really worthwhile, and although I'm not always sure about the whole piece, I feel a real link with the
thoughts....
I have been contemplating moving away to another residence, and have looked at several other apartments. Somehow it doesn't work, he is here, and as I wake up in the morning, walk through the apartment, see the wonderful windows all around (amazingly 3/4 of my walls are window from top to bottom) letting in boundless light..of which Mac commented on every single day I say to myself..why move, he is here with you; and even if you are alone the sunlight warms your heart and you can hear him saying, "Just look at that sun, isn't I beautiful." And it is..
The day before Mac died he was so happy looking at the sunlight that poured through the doors windows and huge skylight of our lobby, smiling and almost completely on target. Jackie the girl who was coming in for her shift on the front desk at four o'clock, said "I'm taking a picture of you two happy lovers - you look great" and she did. I love the picture as she sent it to me that night..although he is thin, eyes rather sunken he has a great smile and apparently that's how he was the morning he died.
Debbie his caregiver during my respite times, also loved this happy smile and she gave me a framed picture she took of us, it is now also my profile pic on facebook. For a time I could hardly look at these pictures or read the cards but I am moving on, and so...
I will continue to put some of the really different and thoughtful messages I've received on this blog..I hope they will help others as well.
One of my friends, Ron, from our support group, was thinking about a Grief Support group, his wife died...we will look into that. but in the meantime, I am using the messages and it has given me courage as well as happy memories...and so it goes g'nite
From the Book No Death, No Fear - by Thich Nhat Hanh Buddhist Monk
This body is not me, I am not caught in this body,
I am life without boundaries
I have never been born and I have never died
Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies
All manifest from the basis of consciousness.
Since beginning time I have always been free
Birth and death are only a door, through which we go in and out
Birth and death are only a game of hide and seek
So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye
Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before
We shall always be meeting again at the true source,
Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.
This and many other messages I received are really worthwhile, and although I'm not always sure about the whole piece, I feel a real link with the
thoughts....
I have been contemplating moving away to another residence, and have looked at several other apartments. Somehow it doesn't work, he is here, and as I wake up in the morning, walk through the apartment, see the wonderful windows all around (amazingly 3/4 of my walls are window from top to bottom) letting in boundless light..of which Mac commented on every single day I say to myself..why move, he is here with you; and even if you are alone the sunlight warms your heart and you can hear him saying, "Just look at that sun, isn't I beautiful." And it is..
The day before Mac died he was so happy looking at the sunlight that poured through the doors windows and huge skylight of our lobby, smiling and almost completely on target. Jackie the girl who was coming in for her shift on the front desk at four o'clock, said "I'm taking a picture of you two happy lovers - you look great" and she did. I love the picture as she sent it to me that night..although he is thin, eyes rather sunken he has a great smile and apparently that's how he was the morning he died.
Debbie his caregiver during my respite times, also loved this happy smile and she gave me a framed picture she took of us, it is now also my profile pic on facebook. For a time I could hardly look at these pictures or read the cards but I am moving on, and so...
I will continue to put some of the really different and thoughtful messages I've received on this blog..I hope they will help others as well.
One of my friends, Ron, from our support group, was thinking about a Grief Support group, his wife died...we will look into that. but in the meantime, I am using the messages and it has given me courage as well as happy memories...and so it goes g'nite
Sunday 9 August 2015
Sunday, August 9, 2015 In appreciation...
I am writing ..at last ..thank you notes in appreciation for all the support, cards and emails I received during this time of bereavement. I am saying this time, as I don't really think I will ever ever stop this sad time, but it has been six months since Mac died, and I should really get on to doing this. I have received such help from you my family, you the readers of this blog and from many relatives and friends, and it's time to say Thank YOU.
This has been an interesting and fun summer - and underneath the fun and interesting times, has been the underlying thought - get on to writing your thank-you notes - today I'm trying to do just that. It is unreal, I can't seem to say what is in my heart without breaking down - so I am saying to you all, thanks, and later will get on to the people who do not read my blog - or I think they do not, who knows. I have been asked to continue my blog, and will do so as it is a kind of catharsis, also I do enjoy telling the stories of the people I meet.
I remember Mac, used to say - it's o.k. tell me about this person or that person, he would laugh and comment, and sometimes meet the person I would be talking about. He and I often led separate lives, and in the evening, we would talk about what and who we met during the day. Often thinking - oh he will never meet so and so, I would tell him some particular interesting and private knowledge from committees I was part of, especially in the United Church Meetings which took place in Presbytery downtown Mtl..
One day we were leaving to visit my mom in Toronto, and met two people who were part of my life in a committee. In this committee were some motions that we had to vote on which would make a difference in the lives of some of the people in the church, I will never forget Mac blithely talking about this motion we had passed. I kind of nudged him and coughed - giggled nervously to no avail, he plunged on just as if he was part of the group in the vote. Thankfully, the two looked at me with understanding, and said later, no harm done, he doesn't know those people, and hey what seems so important in the Church...doesn't mean anything to anyone else.
The same thing applied when he was a commissioner in the School Board, he would discuss the pros and cons of various problems he encountered, but in his case many of the discussions made the local paper. It would be no surprise to see a headline with the McConnell name, and in some cases the matter would be quite controversial. My son Les, just found some old cuttings from the paper where Mac had to defend his position. I remember how at the time it was so important. But all things pass..and become just a memory for the people involved.
In the same way, I guess, my feeling that this sad time WILL never go away, but become just a very sad memory, may be possible butI can't even imagine that. Perhaps I'm this blue as yesterday I picked out the spot where I will bury Mac's ashes on August 22. This will be in front of his little work shed up North, under the trees - with a view of the water. Now it's very overrun with foliage, leaves and some plants well eaten by the deer. Some of my grandchildren and children have helped to remove some of this. Then with Maureen's help, I'll plant some shade flowers over his ashes -
and we will all move on in life. Donald my son-in-law asked if some ashes will go in the lake, Yes they will, and then mine can join later...'
Wow this is too sad for words..I'm going to think of a song that will make it feel better,
Maybe Mel Torme's song. In our Mountain Greenery Where God Paints the Scenery, just two people together, something like that..will check it on You Tube g'bye.
This has been an interesting and fun summer - and underneath the fun and interesting times, has been the underlying thought - get on to writing your thank-you notes - today I'm trying to do just that. It is unreal, I can't seem to say what is in my heart without breaking down - so I am saying to you all, thanks, and later will get on to the people who do not read my blog - or I think they do not, who knows. I have been asked to continue my blog, and will do so as it is a kind of catharsis, also I do enjoy telling the stories of the people I meet.
I remember Mac, used to say - it's o.k. tell me about this person or that person, he would laugh and comment, and sometimes meet the person I would be talking about. He and I often led separate lives, and in the evening, we would talk about what and who we met during the day. Often thinking - oh he will never meet so and so, I would tell him some particular interesting and private knowledge from committees I was part of, especially in the United Church Meetings which took place in Presbytery downtown Mtl..
One day we were leaving to visit my mom in Toronto, and met two people who were part of my life in a committee. In this committee were some motions that we had to vote on which would make a difference in the lives of some of the people in the church, I will never forget Mac blithely talking about this motion we had passed. I kind of nudged him and coughed - giggled nervously to no avail, he plunged on just as if he was part of the group in the vote. Thankfully, the two looked at me with understanding, and said later, no harm done, he doesn't know those people, and hey what seems so important in the Church...doesn't mean anything to anyone else.
The same thing applied when he was a commissioner in the School Board, he would discuss the pros and cons of various problems he encountered, but in his case many of the discussions made the local paper. It would be no surprise to see a headline with the McConnell name, and in some cases the matter would be quite controversial. My son Les, just found some old cuttings from the paper where Mac had to defend his position. I remember how at the time it was so important. But all things pass..and become just a memory for the people involved.
In the same way, I guess, my feeling that this sad time WILL never go away, but become just a very sad memory, may be possible butI can't even imagine that. Perhaps I'm this blue as yesterday I picked out the spot where I will bury Mac's ashes on August 22. This will be in front of his little work shed up North, under the trees - with a view of the water. Now it's very overrun with foliage, leaves and some plants well eaten by the deer. Some of my grandchildren and children have helped to remove some of this. Then with Maureen's help, I'll plant some shade flowers over his ashes -
and we will all move on in life. Donald my son-in-law asked if some ashes will go in the lake, Yes they will, and then mine can join later...'
Wow this is too sad for words..I'm going to think of a song that will make it feel better,
Maybe Mel Torme's song. In our Mountain Greenery Where God Paints the Scenery, just two people together, something like that..will check it on You Tube g'bye.
Wednesday 5 August 2015
Wednesday, August 8, 2015 two apples a day....
That's the answer to my neighbor's question to her husband, and here is the question...How come you are so healthy - walk well, see well, hear well, and you are 97years old? His answer - "two apples a day"..My neighbor is 91, frail, hard time to walk, partially blind, but she does have all her marbles and it really bothers her that her husband is so fit and she walks with a walker and gets so tired. Her name is Line, and she firmly believes now that she should have eaten two apples a day..her husband is a living example of the age old line An apple a day keeps the doctor away...and in his case two apples a day.
One thing though Line is so 'on the ball', and full of stories from her long life. Her birthday was last week, her sister sent her a box for her birthday and in this box was - for her a most wonderful surprise. She showed me this wonderful surprise, and I too was surprised when I saw it..a small suitcase, made of crocodile skin, very old with a lock and key, copper corners, and a very dark brown - the size was about a 14 inch by 14inches and about 5 inches deep. She said "this is Little Koffer", apparently that is suitcase in German.
Well this little Koffer was an important item all through her childhood - first when she went with her sister, mother and father from Germany to Holland..it carried all their important papers and visas..then when they had to go back to Germany, same thing, but this time it also carried some Dutch Chocolate and other small Dutch articles - which her mom did not want to declare, so Line had to put her jacket over Little Koffer and lean her elbow on it and look out the window when the Customs man came on the train. Her mom had their visas and passports in her purse that time.
Later during the bombing, Little Koffer had to be beside the door with the important papers, and again Chocolate, and perhaps some playing cards - as now it was used to go down to the basement. There was no bomb shelters in her town. She said - no important armament companies either..
Line tells me there are more stories to know about Little Koffer, so she will tape them, as being partially blind she cannot write or read. Once they are taped she will let me hear about the life of Little Koffer.
We didn't have a Little Koffer, and although Mac and I travelled quite a bit, he was the one who was responsible for our passports. Mac was The Koffer (suitcase), and I went through all our travels never caring a whit, He did all the worrying, the money carrying, the travel tickets, passports etc etc. Now I'm a nervous wreck wondering where everything is when I travel, even just going up north, I need a little Koffer..for so many things.
Right now I'm realizing just how much Mac did through the years...He knew each child's birthday - wrapped all the presents, (I at least bought them)I write the cards, and to this day I am never sure the dates of birthdays, and have to look at a special card that has the dates of each child, and grandchild's birthday. This card was made by Mac, and is in my purse size Adgenda..one little problem, I forget to look at it. I know that we will be celebrating three birthdays up north this weekend, Valerie's (how old is she I wonder), Christopher and Olivier our grandsons, I have a vague idea of their ages, but will check on the special card...my own little Koffer prepared for me. So remember to have a special Little Koffer and eat two apples a day..g'nite.
One thing though Line is so 'on the ball', and full of stories from her long life. Her birthday was last week, her sister sent her a box for her birthday and in this box was - for her a most wonderful surprise. She showed me this wonderful surprise, and I too was surprised when I saw it..a small suitcase, made of crocodile skin, very old with a lock and key, copper corners, and a very dark brown - the size was about a 14 inch by 14inches and about 5 inches deep. She said "this is Little Koffer", apparently that is suitcase in German.
Well this little Koffer was an important item all through her childhood - first when she went with her sister, mother and father from Germany to Holland..it carried all their important papers and visas..then when they had to go back to Germany, same thing, but this time it also carried some Dutch Chocolate and other small Dutch articles - which her mom did not want to declare, so Line had to put her jacket over Little Koffer and lean her elbow on it and look out the window when the Customs man came on the train. Her mom had their visas and passports in her purse that time.
Later during the bombing, Little Koffer had to be beside the door with the important papers, and again Chocolate, and perhaps some playing cards - as now it was used to go down to the basement. There was no bomb shelters in her town. She said - no important armament companies either..
Line tells me there are more stories to know about Little Koffer, so she will tape them, as being partially blind she cannot write or read. Once they are taped she will let me hear about the life of Little Koffer.
We didn't have a Little Koffer, and although Mac and I travelled quite a bit, he was the one who was responsible for our passports. Mac was The Koffer (suitcase), and I went through all our travels never caring a whit, He did all the worrying, the money carrying, the travel tickets, passports etc etc. Now I'm a nervous wreck wondering where everything is when I travel, even just going up north, I need a little Koffer..for so many things.
Right now I'm realizing just how much Mac did through the years...He knew each child's birthday - wrapped all the presents, (I at least bought them)I write the cards, and to this day I am never sure the dates of birthdays, and have to look at a special card that has the dates of each child, and grandchild's birthday. This card was made by Mac, and is in my purse size Adgenda..one little problem, I forget to look at it. I know that we will be celebrating three birthdays up north this weekend, Valerie's (how old is she I wonder), Christopher and Olivier our grandsons, I have a vague idea of their ages, but will check on the special card...my own little Koffer prepared for me. So remember to have a special Little Koffer and eat two apples a day..g'nite.
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