And there I was... just coming in to our building. returning from Yoga this morniong..and there was Mac, smiling and so happy to see me...He was with Joscelyn our cleaning lady who stays with him for two hours, while i go to my class. Where were you and why...so i explained again where I was, so all was well...but I'm on the computer to check out last week's problem a Dr. Ginsberg is in the bldg. ...the shaking as I ..well surprise...he's here
The Doctor arrived...I wanted to make sure of the date that Mac had involuntary muscle movements....as that's what Doc Ginsburg said they seem to be, he also was sure it was not a seizure...but a type of convulsion which I have to monitor ..he - the doc, thinks that since it was a hot day - and that Mac did not drink fluids up to that time that it may have been a result of not enough fluids and his meds...
He checked Mac's muscles and he said that Mac has parkinsonian type of problems resulting from Alzheimer's - a stiffness...well tell me about that..i have to push his legs and arms through clothing and on the bed, as he can't seem to do so..which brought us to the problem of whether he should have a cane or walker. A decision was made to have a referral for a occupational therapist to give me hints as to how to help him with either walking with a cane or walker, because he cannot follow instructions., and will forget them anyway, .so not sure if that's going to do much ...but we'll see.
Also another problem which goes with the territory is often Mac cannot make out if he has a spoon - fork or knife...at dinner he will try to eat with anything,and even if I'm on the ball and make sure he has the right utensil he does spill so much o f his food...causing our funny little 95 yr old Edith to giggle, making our other table mate angry and then , Alice, will want him to have a soup spoon, and spilling her pills out of her soup spoon so he can have it...and all chaos can reign for a few minutes..while i clean the floor mac's pants etc...This is something that will probably get worse, and i am feeding him these days...but this is off and on..so far...we'll see. Finger foods are great...as long as they are not too soft...sometimes he squeezes the life out of things ..like a wrap for example the makings inside can land on the floor...Good thing we only eat downstairs in the diningroom about once a week, and if Edith continues to giggle it will be even less....although most times he puts up with her comments, that he is a baby etc....she says she is only fooling, she is strange, but i excuse her, she is pretty good for her age. and maybe she has a problem too.
Speaking of people with problems, my friend downstairs with rheumatoid arthritis, was telling me of her hardships with the preposees here. This was yesterday, her son said 'I can hardly wait for her to get out of this hole'...she continued the sad litany with, "yes, i asked the new preposee her name, - "she answered I don't speak English'...I said, well Muriel, why don't you say comment s'appelle, she answered, i know how to say that, but i want her to talk to me in English, her son said, Right. she is the one who needs help not the preposee, well ..with that they went on to run everything down...I can't help them, they are so negative...if they would only try to speak French, only smile at the people and be positive...life could be a bit better - but NO WAY, she has been here 3 1/2 years...will they fix up her room to look nice...forget it..they are only in transmission, they are on a waiting list for a residence near her former home....well even if I were here for one month, I'd fix the place up for myself or whoever...but no...they just complain...understand, being left in dirty underwear (diapers) and unable to get up - for over 2 hours is unforgiveable, but one can help oneself by going half way to helping by learning to speak simple sentences in French - even for your own good....and smiling and appreciating when one does get help..
Those who see the glass as half empty are to be pitied, as they will never enjoy
WEll it's been a grey day..the doc came and we waited, so now we'll attempt to go for a walk around the bldg. and cheer ourselves up.....and think positive...g'day.
Tuesday 27 May 2014
Thursday 22 May 2014
Thursday, May 22,2014 I'm going somewhere.....
And that is the answer Mac gave me this morning. As he was getting up, i asked if he wanted to go to the bathroom, he had to say that at least 3 times the last time very angrily, as I just couldn't focus my hearing...Where? I kept saying...well I guess somewhere is somewhere..ha. In the end he just wandered around the apartment, at 6:00 a.m. while I struggled to keep awake and watch as I hadn't slept too well ...anyway..he is fine now, had breakfast, brushed his teeth and we're planning to go shopping for groceries..
Usually i write this blog about twice a week, unless something really unusual happens - and of course it has to be really unusual health wise....and that is why i'm writing, as yesterday going to my book-study group meeting (Mac comes and sits quietly - most times)..when we were walking to the church all of a sudden he had several severe jerkings of his body, while he felt his heart...I was holding his arm and still walking him slowly, but this continued, my friend came and held his other arm and we waited, while his body jerked and jerked...i was taking out my cell to call 911, when his body calmed down...so we decided to at least walk slowly or i should say slower (Mac walks slowly all the time) and sit him at a bench near the church..we did this...and all went well...in fact it went well for the rest of he day...but I want to get this in writing..and i must remember to read my blog occasionally I think this is a first..will look back.
Looking up in my book 'The 36-hour Day' which by the way, anyone with a family member who has the big A. should get - they explain these jerking motions as Myoclonus jerking movements - though not always of the same muscles, but thrusts of arm or leg. On the other hand, the book says seizures are repeated movements...actually when writing this that's more what Mac had repeated movements in his body rather than of a head or arm etc....so i will defintely have to speak to the nurse today and have her contact the doctor...writing kind of clarifies my thinking here....
As this happened,just before that i had been going over in my mind what a friend had said to me the day before (a friend??) actually she was a nurse in her former life..she said to me that keeping people alive i guess she meant Mac...was selfish...and that like when one has a dog...and loves the dog, they have to do something and not let it live on in pain, it's pure selfishness...Well that threw me for a loop...what did she think i should do..give him a poison pill..or what.Definitely he will stay with me, and it may be selfish, as i do enjoy being with him, although it is very difficult and at times scary...but he is not a DOG, he has feelings, and these feelings, are sometimes rage, sometimes mixed up, and sometimes pure happiness...and anyway, I kept thinking...Am i selfish..what - maybe she thinks I should place him somewhere...like on the 2nd floor with those who because no one person stays with them most, in wheel chairs, on meds...and sit or those that do walk, walk around aimlessly....NO WAY, until he is bed ridden and really ill..and on reading my book - I know that will happen, then and only then will i get more help, and hopefully right in his own bed...
So naturally when these seizures or jerks happened....i wondered, and became a bit concerned that maybe I was not doing the best thing for him, but right now all is well...and he is going somewhere, he is going shopping - WITH ME..
g'day.
Usually i write this blog about twice a week, unless something really unusual happens - and of course it has to be really unusual health wise....and that is why i'm writing, as yesterday going to my book-study group meeting (Mac comes and sits quietly - most times)..when we were walking to the church all of a sudden he had several severe jerkings of his body, while he felt his heart...I was holding his arm and still walking him slowly, but this continued, my friend came and held his other arm and we waited, while his body jerked and jerked...i was taking out my cell to call 911, when his body calmed down...so we decided to at least walk slowly or i should say slower (Mac walks slowly all the time) and sit him at a bench near the church..we did this...and all went well...in fact it went well for the rest of he day...but I want to get this in writing..and i must remember to read my blog occasionally I think this is a first..will look back.
Looking up in my book 'The 36-hour Day' which by the way, anyone with a family member who has the big A. should get - they explain these jerking motions as Myoclonus jerking movements - though not always of the same muscles, but thrusts of arm or leg. On the other hand, the book says seizures are repeated movements...actually when writing this that's more what Mac had repeated movements in his body rather than of a head or arm etc....so i will defintely have to speak to the nurse today and have her contact the doctor...writing kind of clarifies my thinking here....
As this happened,just before that i had been going over in my mind what a friend had said to me the day before (a friend??) actually she was a nurse in her former life..she said to me that keeping people alive i guess she meant Mac...was selfish...and that like when one has a dog...and loves the dog, they have to do something and not let it live on in pain, it's pure selfishness...Well that threw me for a loop...what did she think i should do..give him a poison pill..or what.Definitely he will stay with me, and it may be selfish, as i do enjoy being with him, although it is very difficult and at times scary...but he is not a DOG, he has feelings, and these feelings, are sometimes rage, sometimes mixed up, and sometimes pure happiness...and anyway, I kept thinking...Am i selfish..what - maybe she thinks I should place him somewhere...like on the 2nd floor with those who because no one person stays with them most, in wheel chairs, on meds...and sit or those that do walk, walk around aimlessly....NO WAY, until he is bed ridden and really ill..and on reading my book - I know that will happen, then and only then will i get more help, and hopefully right in his own bed...
So naturally when these seizures or jerks happened....i wondered, and became a bit concerned that maybe I was not doing the best thing for him, but right now all is well...and he is going somewhere, he is going shopping - WITH ME..
g'day.
Monday 19 May 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014 I need more than that.....
The usual day for us starts with trying to get Mac out of bed so the preposees cam get him dressed by approximately 8:45...but surprise Mac was wide awake at 6;40 this a.m. and wandering around wanting breakfast...Since I was still half asleep, I said, either come back to bed and wake up when we do (Mischa the cat and myself)which is 7;45, or just sit in your chair and doze...Well he decided to sit in his chair...don't know if he had a little more sleep, but by 7;15 he came in the bedroom and said...i'm hungry - have to have something to eat. So I drowsily said, 'see the white cookie jar, take an oatmeal cookie" i'll be up in a bit and give you your breakfast...well he roamed around, while i tried to wake up...then in about 5 minutes he was back and said, hey, i need more than that...i'm hungry...So no way out...we were up and eating breakfast at 7:30 a.m. a first for sure...
Maybe it was the sun shining in his face from the living room, or hunger, but it sure was an easy task for Vedette the preposee this a.m., usually she and I have to cajole and promise hot coffee quickly to rouse mac, but anyway, i'm not complaining, he is now up, dressed and happily listening to Beethoven ..and directing the orchestra with his head and feet...
The last blog was rather frivelous, and i received a few funny comments, but did receive a serious one asking how and when Mac showed symptons of the big A...and coincidentally when moving some old journals into a drawer a piece of paper fell out..it was written in 2008, i guess i wrote it for myself and probably to bring to the doctor...not sure as i seem to be writing and wondering at the same time.
here is what i wrote;-
l. mac seems unable to turn his head, i find this a problem, as he reliles only on the rear view mirror when backing out, keep saying, turn your head...he says, no way...
2. When i lie in bed i twist my feet right and left because of my former sprained ankle, asked mac if he can do it...surprise - he can't.
3. lately i find his writing unclear - that is for him...mine is always unclear.
4. In fact, he doesn't write on the line...hummm
5.his short term memory, is up and down, what's that about...
6. long term memory - no problem
7. his memory for faces AND names really poor
8. Reads less, and when reading something interesting out loud, is slow and not sure.
9. He does cross word puzzles constantly, still doing NY times one but needs all day now to complete with thesarus etc.
10. has problems using the phone, can't hear..and now has problems dialing ????what's that about.
I know I was attributing many of the problems to his deafness..and we went to he doc about it, and got hearing aids..which were expensive and useless as he wouldn't use them...in fact couldn't use them.
When going back over my blogs - first time i did that, last week, was realizing just how much he has lost in memory and how its effects on walking, talking, etc. has been over the last eight years...also of course his temperment...
Anyway, on reading the list above, underneath it all, I was trying to be realistic and at the same time, kind of denying that there was a problem...well now we know what the problem is, he was later in 2008 -9 diagnosed with Alzheimers...and what a shock to our lives that was, and although it's not a shock now, his always an up and down behaviours and health has changed our lives completely...
one of the funny things is, on the back of that piece of that paper...i have written, remember buy 4 gallons of stain and brushes for painter up n. Those were the days when he would make those decisions - i.e. time to paint the houses etc. i remember he was in conversations with the painter up N. and the handy man, making all kinds of decisions...well those days are gone forever, but he still knows when he is hungry, and needs more than a cookie...hurrah, so on with the day...
for country cottage
Maybe it was the sun shining in his face from the living room, or hunger, but it sure was an easy task for Vedette the preposee this a.m., usually she and I have to cajole and promise hot coffee quickly to rouse mac, but anyway, i'm not complaining, he is now up, dressed and happily listening to Beethoven ..and directing the orchestra with his head and feet...
The last blog was rather frivelous, and i received a few funny comments, but did receive a serious one asking how and when Mac showed symptons of the big A...and coincidentally when moving some old journals into a drawer a piece of paper fell out..it was written in 2008, i guess i wrote it for myself and probably to bring to the doctor...not sure as i seem to be writing and wondering at the same time.
here is what i wrote;-
l. mac seems unable to turn his head, i find this a problem, as he reliles only on the rear view mirror when backing out, keep saying, turn your head...he says, no way...
2. When i lie in bed i twist my feet right and left because of my former sprained ankle, asked mac if he can do it...surprise - he can't.
3. lately i find his writing unclear - that is for him...mine is always unclear.
4. In fact, he doesn't write on the line...hummm
5.his short term memory, is up and down, what's that about...
6. long term memory - no problem
7. his memory for faces AND names really poor
8. Reads less, and when reading something interesting out loud, is slow and not sure.
9. He does cross word puzzles constantly, still doing NY times one but needs all day now to complete with thesarus etc.
10. has problems using the phone, can't hear..and now has problems dialing ????what's that about.
I know I was attributing many of the problems to his deafness..and we went to he doc about it, and got hearing aids..which were expensive and useless as he wouldn't use them...in fact couldn't use them.
When going back over my blogs - first time i did that, last week, was realizing just how much he has lost in memory and how its effects on walking, talking, etc. has been over the last eight years...also of course his temperment...
Anyway, on reading the list above, underneath it all, I was trying to be realistic and at the same time, kind of denying that there was a problem...well now we know what the problem is, he was later in 2008 -9 diagnosed with Alzheimers...and what a shock to our lives that was, and although it's not a shock now, his always an up and down behaviours and health has changed our lives completely...
one of the funny things is, on the back of that piece of that paper...i have written, remember buy 4 gallons of stain and brushes for painter up n. Those were the days when he would make those decisions - i.e. time to paint the houses etc. i remember he was in conversations with the painter up N. and the handy man, making all kinds of decisions...well those days are gone forever, but he still knows when he is hungry, and needs more than a cookie...hurrah, so on with the day...
for country cottage
Saturday 17 May 2014
May 18,2016 Well that is really good......
>>> This is for all the grandfathers out there.
> Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.
>My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said,
God is good, God is great. t
> Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.
>My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said,
God is good, God is great. t
thank you for the food,and I would even thank you more
if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert.
and liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
>
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby,
I heard a woman remark "That's what's wrong with this country.
Kids today don't even know how to pray.
Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me,
"Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
>
As I held him and assured him that he had done
a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him,
an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson and said,
"I happen to know that God thought that
was a great prayer."
>
"Really?" my grandson asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added
(indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),
>
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.
A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream
at the end of the meal.
if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert.
and liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
>
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby,
I heard a woman remark "That's what's wrong with this country.
Kids today don't even know how to pray.
Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me,
"Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"
>
As I held him and assured him that he had done
a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him,
an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grandson and said,
"I happen to know that God thought that
was a great prayer."
>
"Really?" my grandson asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added
(indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),
>
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream.
A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream
at the end of the meal.
My grandson stared at his for a moment,
and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.
>
He picked up his sundae and, without a word,
walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
>
With a big smile he told her,
"Here, this is for you.
Shove it up your ass, you grouchy old bitch! "
>
and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.
>
He picked up his sundae and, without a word,
walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
>
With a big smile he told her,
"Here, this is for you.
Shove it up your ass, you grouchy old bitch! "
>
Touches the heart doesn't it?
And that's what Mac said after he had a great laugh....Well that is really good...
nothing touches my heart as much as Mac having a good laugh....
good for you marge, sending me this...bye..xx
Thursday 15 May 2014
May 15, 2014 Where are we.....
I used to answer this question with a big long story...we are at the Floralies, we used to be in Chateauguay blah blah blah...now i realize...that's not the answer..so this morning, i just said, we are on our way to the bathroom to brush our teeth and get ready for the day....and that saved us a lot of questions and worry...and that's just what we are doing...getting ready to go to the teapot for lunch and walk along the lake...it's going to be a hot hot day.....in the meantime, i received this from a friend whose mom died of the big A.
and this was my answer to her emal;-
I'm putting the answer to that film on this thread as well ...yes it's a terrible disease and for sure i hope you don't get it, everybody is so nervous about it...in the case of genetically getting it, apparently the A. Assoc. says there is only a 5% chance of that...a lot depends on the make up and health i think...for example, mac used to drink ...Alchohol does play a part ...not that he was an alcoholic, but he had wine every single day...and i think if one is going to get it Alcohol does work on the cells of the brain, and even tho new cells are always made, why lose cells, that's one of the reasons i very rarely drink wine even though i like to have wine with meals, i don't - it's so obvious what acohol does when watching people after they have had a few drinks...so i don't go there....thanks for the film i am sending it on....i have seen that type of film numerous times at the Alzheimer's assoc, when they have speakers.....and only PREVENTION is spoken about a cure is not..as there is NO cure. it's awful...
Mac is in the second to last stage...he still eats well, and WALKS and with all the people here in the apartment bldg..that have the big A. many are in the last stage...non eating, non walkers, and in fact two have just died...one lady is a kind of friend of mine now, her husband is in the last stage, in bed constantly, crying in pain and not eating, she looks a wreck now..and i'm so so sad for her, and i know what's coming eventually for me, so it's not great, but i live as i keep saying in the MOMENT or i try to...
anyway, keep positive, you probably will NOT get it... xxxjan.
Tuesday 13 May 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014 Just go to hell....
Really, that's the good word first thing this a.m., as I tried to get Mac out of bed...along with some other choice words, but we, Vedette (preposee) and myself persisted.. Actually, Vedette, left after those words and said she would return in a few minutes...She did, and he did get dressed...with much shaking of his fist and saying this would be the very last time...Ten minutes later, drinking his coffee and eating his brekkie, he was a happy camper, and when I referred to his bad temper this morning...well when was that...not him he was quite content...and so he was....finally.
This good mood lasted him all day, and he was in a great mood yesterday, as well. We've had some great walks, although my ankle is not the best...I'm treating it with frozen corn, and heat off and on...yesterday, when we were walking extra slow mac in shuffle mode and me in limping mode...we were starting to go across the st. when the driver of the car that was stopped at the sign..had his girlfriend roll down the window on her side. Thinking they wanted directions, i bent down to hear what he wanted to say...and this was what we heard
"Hey there, I wish to make a big announcement...are you guys ready!!.. Well o.k. i answered - what's up??? Well it's this lovely girl's birhday.. with that she raised her hand holding a beautiful rose. "I said WOW, happy birthday...how old are you... I'm 19.she said.....oh to be 19, I wished her a happy life...and he said...You two look like you've had a happy life...I answered..we have had a happy life, and we still are happy...so here's wishing the same to you two.. with that..off they went in their sport's car..waving to two old fogues...
This is what we just love about living in Lachine...the diversity, the craziness on the lake and everywhere, sometimes...like yesterday, an old guy - almost 70 i'm sure..about 6 foot 2..skinny with his grey hair in a mohawk, short jeans all cut like the kids wear..and rollerblading like a pro... stopped at our bench, and speaking French said o.k. if I park here, and take off my skates...I said...sure o.k. Then the girl all of about 15 yrs old (with him) took off her roller blades..she was in short short black shorts and a midrift white top, and proceeded to get in the freezing cold lake..up to the top of her legs..and tried to feed a Canada Goose...someone said she should be careful..the lake was polluted they thought...Then the old guy said in English...hey how else will she be immune to germs if she is going to be so picky...I said, is she your daughter, "no he said, I'm old enough to be her grandpa...she's just a friend, and i do mean friend, not a girl friend..." Other kids came along to see the geese, and everyone was saying, hey it's summer...well 20 degrees not exactly summer..but we are all desparate for summer..it was amazing - everyone out flying kites, kite surfing, and getting their boats out.. fly fishing in the lake, fishing on the shore..and everyone lapping up the SUN....
Today we were out again, cloudy and cool...how different, but the craziness continued..as we avoided a man cycling like crazy along the grass beside the sidewalk where we were walking..wanting to get the green light on busy busy 32nd Ave...and what a shock, there hanging on to his handlebars for dear life was a white cockatoo..with his yellow plume waving in the air...seemed to be just loving it...I said, "hey that's amazing..and as I watched the cyclist and his cockatoo, he turned quick to look and raised his fingers in a V. and continued at top speed across the street...What a place said Mac. I agree What a place...but it's great...
and right now, he's waiting for his dinner, and looking at me like, hey what's up as he rocks in his chair to the music on cbc radio 2.....so good evening and bon appetit...
This good mood lasted him all day, and he was in a great mood yesterday, as well. We've had some great walks, although my ankle is not the best...I'm treating it with frozen corn, and heat off and on...yesterday, when we were walking extra slow mac in shuffle mode and me in limping mode...we were starting to go across the st. when the driver of the car that was stopped at the sign..had his girlfriend roll down the window on her side. Thinking they wanted directions, i bent down to hear what he wanted to say...and this was what we heard
"Hey there, I wish to make a big announcement...are you guys ready!!.. Well o.k. i answered - what's up??? Well it's this lovely girl's birhday.. with that she raised her hand holding a beautiful rose. "I said WOW, happy birthday...how old are you... I'm 19.she said.....oh to be 19, I wished her a happy life...and he said...You two look like you've had a happy life...I answered..we have had a happy life, and we still are happy...so here's wishing the same to you two.. with that..off they went in their sport's car..waving to two old fogues...
This is what we just love about living in Lachine...the diversity, the craziness on the lake and everywhere, sometimes...like yesterday, an old guy - almost 70 i'm sure..about 6 foot 2..skinny with his grey hair in a mohawk, short jeans all cut like the kids wear..and rollerblading like a pro... stopped at our bench, and speaking French said o.k. if I park here, and take off my skates...I said...sure o.k. Then the girl all of about 15 yrs old (with him) took off her roller blades..she was in short short black shorts and a midrift white top, and proceeded to get in the freezing cold lake..up to the top of her legs..and tried to feed a Canada Goose...someone said she should be careful..the lake was polluted they thought...Then the old guy said in English...hey how else will she be immune to germs if she is going to be so picky...I said, is she your daughter, "no he said, I'm old enough to be her grandpa...she's just a friend, and i do mean friend, not a girl friend..." Other kids came along to see the geese, and everyone was saying, hey it's summer...well 20 degrees not exactly summer..but we are all desparate for summer..it was amazing - everyone out flying kites, kite surfing, and getting their boats out.. fly fishing in the lake, fishing on the shore..and everyone lapping up the SUN....
Today we were out again, cloudy and cool...how different, but the craziness continued..as we avoided a man cycling like crazy along the grass beside the sidewalk where we were walking..wanting to get the green light on busy busy 32nd Ave...and what a shock, there hanging on to his handlebars for dear life was a white cockatoo..with his yellow plume waving in the air...seemed to be just loving it...I said, "hey that's amazing..and as I watched the cyclist and his cockatoo, he turned quick to look and raised his fingers in a V. and continued at top speed across the street...What a place said Mac. I agree What a place...but it's great...
and right now, he's waiting for his dinner, and looking at me like, hey what's up as he rocks in his chair to the music on cbc radio 2.....so good evening and bon appetit...
Wednesday 7 May 2014
Wednesday, May 7, 2014 If your hand wasn't in the way....
Quick little blog to remind myself that life got quite a bit better yesterday...we were able to go for several tiny walks around the little park in the back...even took a chance to try to beat the yukky musical sound that lets pedestrians cross our busy 32nd ave. to the park -which is in back of the restaurants that face our building...we didn't make it, thought we were going to get mowed down by a truck, but I guess the driver took pity on us doddering along.
Also, the new doctor said that life in this disease will not get better, but there are ups and downs...hello, tell me about that..anyway, if I give the pill he had again and see the same symptons, walking off kilter, not able to eat properly, generally sluggish - and bad tempered...he has a a couple of other options to help mac sleep better at night, and of course that means i'll sleep better too. What a nice young doctor, think i'll change doctors...hmmm my mom always said, better to have a young doc as you get older - my doc is almost my age, may pop off at any time, hey and this doc is right here every week...anyway back to mac.. The funny thing is when i was trying to help him eat his supper last night...i said -gee what's happening here can't you see your spoon.??? 'I could - said Mac, if your damn hand wasn't always in the way....well good he actually could see my hand, ha.
A great night's sleep, a first in a couple of weeks...so all is right with the world this morning...g'day.
Also, the new doctor said that life in this disease will not get better, but there are ups and downs...hello, tell me about that..anyway, if I give the pill he had again and see the same symptons, walking off kilter, not able to eat properly, generally sluggish - and bad tempered...he has a a couple of other options to help mac sleep better at night, and of course that means i'll sleep better too. What a nice young doctor, think i'll change doctors...hmmm my mom always said, better to have a young doc as you get older - my doc is almost my age, may pop off at any time, hey and this doc is right here every week...anyway back to mac.. The funny thing is when i was trying to help him eat his supper last night...i said -gee what's happening here can't you see your spoon.??? 'I could - said Mac, if your damn hand wasn't always in the way....well good he actually could see my hand, ha.
A great night's sleep, a first in a couple of weeks...so all is right with the world this morning...g'day.
Monday 5 May 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014... I can't go there - hold on...
A really really bad day for poor Mac, his memory of how to walk off the wall, his eyesight..is as if he is blind, but it's really perception...as he says..wait can't go there - hold on, this as we go through a door , he sees his shadow on the floor and thinks he is going to go down or up - who knows...it was such a sad time. Decided to get the walker from the storage in the basement ...try to see if that would help...We did go around the path in the little park in the back of the building...but with much trepidation - hesitation, fear and confusion, so will maybe try again when he is more settled...but his walking did not improve...he would not use the cane, and at times seemed like he would tip over unless i held on tight...i had the preposee put him right in bed tonight....and tomorrow we will see the new Doc...Dr. Ginsburg...
Now I'm wondering, is it the effect of the pill, although as i read yesterday's blog, i see he was pretty bad yesterday...but today was the worst yet...he could not handle his spoon, fork or glass by dinner...I was feeding him....and except for finger food, that was the way it had to be...
He did try to go downstairs and sit on the rocker , but it was scary i thought he would fall so many times, my heart was pounding...and this evening, we went down for the mail, but since i knew Stepahane was going to help us back upstairs from muriel (our neigbour downstairs) room. i took a chance...He was exhausted, and shaky all the way up on the elevator , so he is happily now in bed where Stephany and I managed to put him in - ...no pill tonight...hopefully he sleeps..all night...and we'll see, what - if anything the Dr. has to say tomorrow...
i know that these are the usual effects of Alzheimer's ..and in fact some of the behaviours i.e. not being able to get out of his chair...i had to use the special button that makes his chair lift him right up...haven't done that since we left Chateauguay..his shaky walk, plus falling, that was a chateauguay problem, which stopped when we moved here...i thought it was because of the stairs...but now - who knows...hopefully this will pass also, but we'll see...so must get some sleep now g'nite...
Now I'm wondering, is it the effect of the pill, although as i read yesterday's blog, i see he was pretty bad yesterday...but today was the worst yet...he could not handle his spoon, fork or glass by dinner...I was feeding him....and except for finger food, that was the way it had to be...
He did try to go downstairs and sit on the rocker , but it was scary i thought he would fall so many times, my heart was pounding...and this evening, we went down for the mail, but since i knew Stepahane was going to help us back upstairs from muriel (our neigbour downstairs) room. i took a chance...He was exhausted, and shaky all the way up on the elevator , so he is happily now in bed where Stephany and I managed to put him in - ...no pill tonight...hopefully he sleeps..all night...and we'll see, what - if anything the Dr. has to say tomorrow...
i know that these are the usual effects of Alzheimer's ..and in fact some of the behaviours i.e. not being able to get out of his chair...i had to use the special button that makes his chair lift him right up...haven't done that since we left Chateauguay..his shaky walk, plus falling, that was a chateauguay problem, which stopped when we moved here...i thought it was because of the stairs...but now - who knows...hopefully this will pass also, but we'll see...so must get some sleep now g'nite...
Sunday 4 May 2014
Sunday - May 4, 2014 I've gotta get out ...
"I've gotta get out'...friends are waiting...how do i get out of here...I have to go right now...i'm not waiting..NO, right now....That's the answer Mac was giving me - along with some really great swearing..at about 2 a.m. This answer was to my saying, 'look wait till it's bright out, it's the middle of the night..no onw is awake now.." well forget that no way was that acceptable... This was going on for about an hour, off and on, with his trying to walk to the window, stopping and starting, yelling, and then coming back to the bed...To distract him, I tried calling my daughter, but poor her, the middle of the night and waking her up, not too bright of me, but she did try, and he didn't respond but got worse... So hung up, and just waited and talked softly till he calmed down enough to get back to bed by about 3;30 a.m.
Mac has not been a happy camper in the middle of the night - really I'm not getting enough sleep..i've decided to give Mac his special pills tonight , i'm supposed to check out his behaviour in the day and if there is indication of agitation, then give him a pill...well, he is not exactly agitated but very very confused, so decided to give him the pill..tonight and see if it's any better during the night. i did do that two nights but he definitely was agitated before bed...so it was a go and it was the first time i've slept all night in weeks (exception of course for the bathroom)...t'was beautiful..
.I can call the special nurse in the middle of the night and he will come, but if mac is too agitated to take the pill they give an injection and although he never has had one, i hate the thought of his yelling and screaming to get out of it...so i put up with the yelling and screaming to get out of here and eventually he did calm down..which can take up to one or two hours with breaks inbetween.yuck..so tonites the nite for a pill.
Mac has a great sense of humour and we have fun many times in the day, though lately hehas been saying, "why am i so confused, it's terrible, I would be lost if you weren't here". Again and again, i tell him that's the problem it's your memory...so let's just live in the moment...easier said than done...This is the words every few days..and it is terribly sad.. today Debbie came to look after him while I went to a "Grandmother to Grandmother Concert" in aid of African Grandmothers.....While there, our good friend and psychiatrist reminded me that I need to have a break, i must take time out, and get refreshed, etc etc. Well I know that, but Mac is the one who really needs the help..he is the one really suffering, and tries so hard to be "up' , and good to be with...I can see that he has trouble even talkng and today his walking is awful, just shuffling, as we haven't walked enough...so tomorrow if it's not raining...my strained ankle better be better, I am going to get him out walking...and that's it for tonight...hope we have a good night - g'nite
Actually the days are pretty good with the exception of some parts of it...he seems to be getting weaker for walks, i'm not sure if it's because i strained my ankle, so we're not walking as much...therefore, vicious circle - the less we walk the less he is able to walk...shuffles along...
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