Today our Grieving Group met for lunch, for a kind of last hurrah, or should I say goodbye. We were together for eight Wednesday evenings, we met at the United Church in Valois. These sessions have helped in so many ways, one of which was to realize that although one seems to think their grief is beyond the pale..or beyond what anyone else feels, it isn't...the pain is there for the others in the group, no matter who died..be it a husband, mother, sister, or cousin. It has to be obviously, someone who is loved and cherished, someone who has been so close to you that you can't imagine life without him or her. That is exactly what occurred to me when I met these fellow grieving people..they feel the same pain, maybe in different ways, but they feel it..and can understand me; and I certainly can understand them.
I have been fairly good most days and have even been able to think about Christmas, (one without Mac) how awful but I can. I have been able to do that. Today our group chatted away about our lives, our plans, future holidays, and there were no tears..until someone said to me, just as we were leaving, "So how are you doing?..." that's all it took for me to choke up and in fact writing this I'm almost starting again, and I have had to stop and think - the pain of it all has not left. I could hardly answer the question, so how am I doing...
I'd say I'm doing fine. Or as well as I can do, I'm able to enjoy seeing children's choirs, enjoy hearing carols, thinking of gifts, I'm even thinking of gifts that I want..I read one of my daughter's Christmas list for her family, and thought..oh good I'll buy that for him or her..so life goes on...I'm even thinking of writing future blogs not only how life is going on, but how we got to this part of our life in the first place..Maybe I'll continue the blog with stories of our family ..and the influence of the person who made the family along with myself, my sweet friend, lover and husband Mac.
As the woman who led our grieving group said, we the ones who remember our loved one, we are that person's eternity...so why not...
In the meantime I'll end with another writing from the Grieving group...oh and one more line that I feel is true now from the
Criteria for Reconciliation and that is:-
The capacity to enjoy experiences in life that are normally enjoyable.
I may have put this poem in before but it really applies today
You can shed a tear now that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close your eyes and pray he'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty
Because you cannot see him
Or can be full of the love
that you have shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow
And live for yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow
Because of yesterday
You can remember him and ache
that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory
And let him live on
You can cry and close your mind
Be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want
Smile, open your eyes
Love, and go on.
g'nite..
Saturday 28 November 2015
Saturday 21 November 2015
Saturday, November 21, 2015....Best kept secret.....
Normally never write two days in a row, but just want to get this in for the record...I woke up without tears this a.m. one of the few days that happens, so I was so pleased as it's difficult to put on eye make up with watery eyes ...anyway, listened to a show that is not always my fave..the Vinyl Café with Stuart McLean, He often got on my nerves in the past..but today he really nailed it.
The show was recorded at a lovely concert hall in St. John N.B. he said so many terrific things about St. John, all true...as Mac would confirm...he also said St. John N.B. was Canada's best kept Secret...Well, those words were said by both Mac and I so often. St. John was the place where Mac spent so many summers of his childhood. His memories of swimming in the coldest waters of Canada...watching the highest tide in Bay of Fundy, eating dulce with his friends (and trying to like it)..
Mac went by train all by himself when he was little. He remembers waking up to look out the window as the sun came up over the Miramiche. We went a couple of times to renew his memories and he always would say this is where I would wake up..This is the time I would be so happy knowing that I would be free of school, and going to spend summertime with my sister Gertie and her husband Bill..He just loved St. John, we walked along all the streets he knew so well. We even drove out to some little summer houses on the river where they also spent time.
Stuart McLean echoed all the words that Mac has said to me through the years. I can also vouch for the lovely places not only St. John but the province of New Brunswick, the beaches, the woods, the wild life and of course my favourite place is always beside an Ocean. The whole program took me down memory lane, and well, my eye make up streaked as I relived our beautiful times there.
Then the show finished off in the way Stuart usually ends with a kind of singsong of an old favorite song..He tells people to close their eyes, and not to worry about their voice, how well or how poorly they sing...and the show ended with a song that just topped the whole thing off for me..and that was Shine on Harvest Moon...How often we sang that at the top of our lungs as we could see the moon through the car window as we drove home from the cottage or even while we washed dishes after company left..we could see the big harvest moon from our kitchen window...
Well so much for not grieving today...it will have to wait...but they say it can be good for you. Today I can say..o.k. maybe so...
So shine on g'bye.
The show was recorded at a lovely concert hall in St. John N.B. he said so many terrific things about St. John, all true...as Mac would confirm...he also said St. John N.B. was Canada's best kept Secret...Well, those words were said by both Mac and I so often. St. John was the place where Mac spent so many summers of his childhood. His memories of swimming in the coldest waters of Canada...watching the highest tide in Bay of Fundy, eating dulce with his friends (and trying to like it)..
Mac went by train all by himself when he was little. He remembers waking up to look out the window as the sun came up over the Miramiche. We went a couple of times to renew his memories and he always would say this is where I would wake up..This is the time I would be so happy knowing that I would be free of school, and going to spend summertime with my sister Gertie and her husband Bill..He just loved St. John, we walked along all the streets he knew so well. We even drove out to some little summer houses on the river where they also spent time.
Stuart McLean echoed all the words that Mac has said to me through the years. I can also vouch for the lovely places not only St. John but the province of New Brunswick, the beaches, the woods, the wild life and of course my favourite place is always beside an Ocean. The whole program took me down memory lane, and well, my eye make up streaked as I relived our beautiful times there.
Then the show finished off in the way Stuart usually ends with a kind of singsong of an old favorite song..He tells people to close their eyes, and not to worry about their voice, how well or how poorly they sing...and the show ended with a song that just topped the whole thing off for me..and that was Shine on Harvest Moon...How often we sang that at the top of our lungs as we could see the moon through the car window as we drove home from the cottage or even while we washed dishes after company left..we could see the big harvest moon from our kitchen window...
Well so much for not grieving today...it will have to wait...but they say it can be good for you. Today I can say..o.k. maybe so...
So shine on g'bye.
Friday 20 November 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015 It's for the best....
Still meeting people that have not heard about Mac, that is just heard about his death recently. Happened just about 15 minutes ago, when I met Eunice a preposee who worked here and was so good with Mac. She has been away because she has had a baby girl. The baby's name is Winner...well there's a new one have never heard of a baby called Winner...that caused us to have a discussion on names and then she said - I heard about Mac - well it's for the best...
I guess it could be called "for the best"..not for me of course but for him, he was so happy the last day of his life, but that was unusual and now as I look at a picture right in front of me, it's true I never saw him smile so happily, the picture was taken on the last day.
So that started me on pictures - so many - when one lives as long as we have of course there would be tons..last night I watched a movie where a woman around my age says the sad thing about losing a loved one is forgetting bits and pieces of the person. One wants to remember everything, which reminded me of how though I am so sad, it's wonderful that the memory of Mac is still fresh in my mind..and I guess once I start to lose some of that, I will have all the pictures and the home movies. Good thing.
The last night of our Grieving group, the leader sang this song..kind of fits in:
In the bulb there is a flower in the seed, an apple tree
in cocoons a hidden promise ; butter flies will soon be free
In the cold and snow of winter there's a spring that waits to be
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see.
there's a song in every silence seeking sword and melody
There's a dawn in every darkness bringing hope to you and me
From the past will come the future what it holds, a mystery
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see,
In our end is our beginning in our time infinity
in our doubt there is believing in our life eternity
In our death a resurrection at the last a victory
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see.
With all the talk about the refugees, about Parisians, about Terrorists, one would think that one man's life Mac's would not be so uppermost in my mind, well it is, but it makes me think that the lives of all these people, the refugees, the terrorists, and the people suffering they mean so much to someone too...how I can understand how they feel..and I feel for them...g'nite.
I guess it could be called "for the best"..not for me of course but for him, he was so happy the last day of his life, but that was unusual and now as I look at a picture right in front of me, it's true I never saw him smile so happily, the picture was taken on the last day.
So that started me on pictures - so many - when one lives as long as we have of course there would be tons..last night I watched a movie where a woman around my age says the sad thing about losing a loved one is forgetting bits and pieces of the person. One wants to remember everything, which reminded me of how though I am so sad, it's wonderful that the memory of Mac is still fresh in my mind..and I guess once I start to lose some of that, I will have all the pictures and the home movies. Good thing.
The last night of our Grieving group, the leader sang this song..kind of fits in:
In the bulb there is a flower in the seed, an apple tree
in cocoons a hidden promise ; butter flies will soon be free
In the cold and snow of winter there's a spring that waits to be
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see.
there's a song in every silence seeking sword and melody
There's a dawn in every darkness bringing hope to you and me
From the past will come the future what it holds, a mystery
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see,
In our end is our beginning in our time infinity
in our doubt there is believing in our life eternity
In our death a resurrection at the last a victory
unrevealed until its season something God alone can see.
With all the talk about the refugees, about Parisians, about Terrorists, one would think that one man's life Mac's would not be so uppermost in my mind, well it is, but it makes me think that the lives of all these people, the refugees, the terrorists, and the people suffering they mean so much to someone too...how I can understand how they feel..and I feel for them...g'nite.
Monday 16 November 2015
Monday, November 16, 2016 Words that haunt me still...
I have mentioned before, that Mac was a news hound - always checking the news, always watching the late night news, and reading every newspaper..and of course discussing the world events...not only with me but with his friends, who obviously didn't always agree with him. We all have our own opinions but today I was reading what Neil Macdonald (CBC) had to say - I could almost hear Mac's voice saying the same thing; and adding his usual saying "the chickens are coming home to roost"...
The following is an excerpt regarding what one should do about the Paris bloodshed:
"There is no Solomonic solution available, and, to make it worse, the brutal truth is that America's so-called coalition of the willing, which invaded Iraq on a false pretext, effectively created ISIS (which, unsurprisingly, has several of Saddam Hussein's former generals among its commanders).
The West sowed dragons' teeth, which grew into armed fanatics now bent on taking the battle back to the West. And ahead of them, massive rivers of miserable refugees are trudging toward Western soil.
We can pray for Paris to our hearts' content, and light up monuments in the colours of the French flag, and trade peace sign memes of the Eiffel Tower. But what Western militarism created cannot be sung or wished away.
As journalist Charles Pierce wrote in Esquire magazine the day after the Paris slaughter: "The retribution will be swift and harsh, as will the inevitable reaction, and as will the retribution for the reaction."
Hafez al-Assad and his Baathist colleague Saddam Hussein were both monsters. But compared to what the West unleashed on itself, they seem, in retrospect, like incarnations of stability."
He (Mac) and I should mention I, both agree with this summation..Obama has been on the t.v. another man Mac would watch..and comment on. I only wish he could, and I only wish we could have a solution as for sure bombing ISIS enclaves, seems to be the only solution ...really?? is there no way to bring stability by talking to ISIS at this point..is there any way of talking to idealist on their side..apologize for our past and theirs...I don't know for sure, but bombing??
I have an mp3 from many years ago - Mac talking to his friend Owen in Australia (Owen sent me the tape)...Oh how he went on about the problems of the world..and Australia's p.m. at the time.Jamica's Manley etc....I have a problem listening as it starts the deluge of tears, so I don't..I have even given away all of his political books...also his many poetry books and the poetry and politics of Ireland...The discussions were endless, and it seems that these discussions now so fruitless continue to be so among us there is no quick solution..I can only wish..
\
Today I had to miss my "Politics and Poetry" class (McGill) I would have discussed the Poet Amiri Baraka (1934-2014) These are the last 6 stanzas from the poem Somebody Blew Up America
Who make money from war
Who make dough from fear and lies
who want he World like it is
Who want the world to be ruled by imperialism and national
oppression and terror violence and hunger and poverty
Who is the ruler of Hell?
Who is the most powerful
Who you know ever
Seen God?
But everybody seen
The Devil
Like an Owl exploding
In your life I your brain in your self
Like an Owl who know he devil
All night, all day, if you listen, Like an Owl
Exploding in fire. We hear the questions rise
In terrible flame like the whistle of a crazy dog
Like the acid vomit of he fire of Hell
Who and Who and Who who who
Whoooo and Whoooooooooo
Sorry I had to miss this class..would have been so interested to hear the remarks after this last weekend when Paris saw the devil.
The following is an excerpt regarding what one should do about the Paris bloodshed:
"There is no Solomonic solution available, and, to make it worse, the brutal truth is that America's so-called coalition of the willing, which invaded Iraq on a false pretext, effectively created ISIS (which, unsurprisingly, has several of Saddam Hussein's former generals among its commanders).
The West sowed dragons' teeth, which grew into armed fanatics now bent on taking the battle back to the West. And ahead of them, massive rivers of miserable refugees are trudging toward Western soil.
We can pray for Paris to our hearts' content, and light up monuments in the colours of the French flag, and trade peace sign memes of the Eiffel Tower. But what Western militarism created cannot be sung or wished away.
As journalist Charles Pierce wrote in Esquire magazine the day after the Paris slaughter: "The retribution will be swift and harsh, as will the inevitable reaction, and as will the retribution for the reaction."
Hafez al-Assad and his Baathist colleague Saddam Hussein were both monsters. But compared to what the West unleashed on itself, they seem, in retrospect, like incarnations of stability."
He (Mac) and I should mention I, both agree with this summation..Obama has been on the t.v. another man Mac would watch..and comment on. I only wish he could, and I only wish we could have a solution as for sure bombing ISIS enclaves, seems to be the only solution ...really?? is there no way to bring stability by talking to ISIS at this point..is there any way of talking to idealist on their side..apologize for our past and theirs...I don't know for sure, but bombing??
I have an mp3 from many years ago - Mac talking to his friend Owen in Australia (Owen sent me the tape)...Oh how he went on about the problems of the world..and Australia's p.m. at the time.Jamica's Manley etc....I have a problem listening as it starts the deluge of tears, so I don't..I have even given away all of his political books...also his many poetry books and the poetry and politics of Ireland...The discussions were endless, and it seems that these discussions now so fruitless continue to be so among us there is no quick solution..I can only wish..
\
Today I had to miss my "Politics and Poetry" class (McGill) I would have discussed the Poet Amiri Baraka (1934-2014) These are the last 6 stanzas from the poem Somebody Blew Up America
Who make money from war
Who make dough from fear and lies
who want he World like it is
Who want the world to be ruled by imperialism and national
oppression and terror violence and hunger and poverty
Who is the ruler of Hell?
Who is the most powerful
Who you know ever
Seen God?
But everybody seen
The Devil
Like an Owl exploding
In your life I your brain in your self
Like an Owl who know he devil
All night, all day, if you listen, Like an Owl
Exploding in fire. We hear the questions rise
In terrible flame like the whistle of a crazy dog
Like the acid vomit of he fire of Hell
Who and Who and Who who who
Whoooo and Whoooooooooo
Sorry I had to miss this class..would have been so interested to hear the remarks after this last weekend when Paris saw the devil.
Friday 13 November 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015 Wow ...Paris.....ooooh
This evening is so sad as I listen and watch what's happening to our fave city, Paris..The whole scene on T.V. is so horrific, apparently the latest news saying over 100 people have been killed in attacks around the city...I've tried to contact my cousin Hannelore to see if she is o.k. and just where she has been today...but she may be away...in any case this shocks the world..and everyone is saying why...who is responsible, so far ISIS has been blamed. We'll see, apparently the attackers have all been killed by the Paris Police...
I have seen some violence in Paris, but not like this, most of our time there has been so idyllic ...Mac just loved our time there, and I can remember how we walked the streets without any problem, and at night it was spectacular..We were there a few times and the last time we drove out of Paris and all around the coast where we saw Arromanch (sic) where we were reminded of the invasion, along the Normandy coast we saw the graves of soldiers from WW2..We even walked the beach of Dieppe and stayed in a B &B there. It was kind of funny we had 4 beds in our room, we only used one..what a laugh we had...the lady who ran the place, just loved Mac and saved a special breakfast just for him, as we had slept in..but she had it almost ready and when we came downstairs it was "votre dejuner et pret...monsieur Yeux Bleu"....I felt like saying hey what about me..but thought, oh well let her spoil him. No wonder he loved Paris and France, the French women are bold and flirty...
the violence I saw was between a man and his girl (seems he was a pimp or so the police said) it..was too awful, but in any case this is far far worse. That time I was with my mom. Mac was at home minding the family for me...anyway, Must get back to the t.v. now and check things out.
How terrible, one remembers France, especially listening to Remembrance Day stories, of WW2 just yesterday. In fact when we were in France we saw bullet holes in various places and these were from WW2..but going even further back in time, we saw how the people in France rose up against the elite and the royalty at that time, so much so that even today some of the statues of the Virgin Mary, Queen of the World (religious symbols) had the head chopped off..No majesty or symbols for the Revolutionaries of that time...
Well the news is back on, so I'll go and watch, how I miss Mac all the time especially times like this we were, or he was, such a news hound and always wanted to hear the latest, he would watch the news religiously as well as read the latest news in the papers. The New York Times being his favourite...
Mac, always said Wow, when we would land in Paris, or get off the ship crossing over from England...and I would just stand there and take deep breaths just loving the scene..and now ...we'll see g'nite.
I have seen some violence in Paris, but not like this, most of our time there has been so idyllic ...Mac just loved our time there, and I can remember how we walked the streets without any problem, and at night it was spectacular..We were there a few times and the last time we drove out of Paris and all around the coast where we saw Arromanch (sic) where we were reminded of the invasion, along the Normandy coast we saw the graves of soldiers from WW2..We even walked the beach of Dieppe and stayed in a B &B there. It was kind of funny we had 4 beds in our room, we only used one..what a laugh we had...the lady who ran the place, just loved Mac and saved a special breakfast just for him, as we had slept in..but she had it almost ready and when we came downstairs it was "votre dejuner et pret...monsieur Yeux Bleu"....I felt like saying hey what about me..but thought, oh well let her spoil him. No wonder he loved Paris and France, the French women are bold and flirty...
the violence I saw was between a man and his girl (seems he was a pimp or so the police said) it..was too awful, but in any case this is far far worse. That time I was with my mom. Mac was at home minding the family for me...anyway, Must get back to the t.v. now and check things out.
How terrible, one remembers France, especially listening to Remembrance Day stories, of WW2 just yesterday. In fact when we were in France we saw bullet holes in various places and these were from WW2..but going even further back in time, we saw how the people in France rose up against the elite and the royalty at that time, so much so that even today some of the statues of the Virgin Mary, Queen of the World (religious symbols) had the head chopped off..No majesty or symbols for the Revolutionaries of that time...
Well the news is back on, so I'll go and watch, how I miss Mac all the time especially times like this we were, or he was, such a news hound and always wanted to hear the latest, he would watch the news religiously as well as read the latest news in the papers. The New York Times being his favourite...
Mac, always said Wow, when we would land in Paris, or get off the ship crossing over from England...and I would just stand there and take deep breaths just loving the scene..and now ...we'll see g'nite.
Saturday 7 November 2015
Saturday, November 7, 2015 Time heals ...really??
I know so many people have said to me during this time of grieving, it gets better Jan, time heals...Well really, I think healing is kind of like saying you are sick and need to heal. I really don't want to get better, I know that I and others who go through grieving have to come to terms that the person we no longer have in our life is just that...no longer in our life. It doesn't mean that he/she is not in our thoughts, or in our dreams, or for that matter in everything we say and do..for sure they are.
They live on -we are their eternity. So many of the words I hear myself saying, are words that Mac has said ...some of them are not even that nice...like when I screw up some particular thing, I now swear worse than ever.. then say to myself, I can't believe I said that...then I have a little laugh and say "hello there Mac".
We, apparently, can reconcile ourselves with the thought and fact that our loved one is no longer with us..and there are some criteria for this reconciliation to take place. I have a long list, which is taken from "Understanding grief, helping Yourself to heal " (there is that word heal again)
I've read over this long list and the ones to explore where I am reconciling myself are..
1. A return to stable eating and sleeping patterns that were present prior to the death..
Hmmm..not really I don't sleep all that well, but then I never did in the eight years before he died, and I've gained weight since then, so maybe I'm eating more than I should be...well this one isn't too good, I'll look at a few more in the long list.
2.The capacity to enjoy experiences in life that are normally enjoyable...
Well, yes, but I find I am a little over the top when something strikes me as funny, I laugh maybe a little too loud, or too much, till I feel like I might start crying, but I really do get enjoyment..particularly from children, my own great grandchild Finlay just cracks me up. Today she said "you be the dragon I'll be the little girl"...Well I was such a good dragon, that she said..."hey wait, "I'll be the dragon you be the little girl".. Then I started to sing Puff the Magic Dragon, she said, "Good that's my favourite song"...We sang and skipped our way home from the park, near her new home...What fun, then I almost wept that Mac could not be with us...He would have loved that...so see there I go again.
3. The capacity to become comfortable with the way things are rather than attempting to make things as they were.
Well that is true, I am comfortable with the way things are..I know they will never be as they were...and the way they were was not always comfortable...Mac was not always happy, he was not well, and he was at times so lost..so would I want to make things as they were..no...So for that one I am definitely reconciled..so with that bit of improvement, I'll say g'nite.
They live on -we are their eternity. So many of the words I hear myself saying, are words that Mac has said ...some of them are not even that nice...like when I screw up some particular thing, I now swear worse than ever.. then say to myself, I can't believe I said that...then I have a little laugh and say "hello there Mac".
We, apparently, can reconcile ourselves with the thought and fact that our loved one is no longer with us..and there are some criteria for this reconciliation to take place. I have a long list, which is taken from "Understanding grief, helping Yourself to heal " (there is that word heal again)
I've read over this long list and the ones to explore where I am reconciling myself are..
1. A return to stable eating and sleeping patterns that were present prior to the death..
Hmmm..not really I don't sleep all that well, but then I never did in the eight years before he died, and I've gained weight since then, so maybe I'm eating more than I should be...well this one isn't too good, I'll look at a few more in the long list.
2.The capacity to enjoy experiences in life that are normally enjoyable...
Well, yes, but I find I am a little over the top when something strikes me as funny, I laugh maybe a little too loud, or too much, till I feel like I might start crying, but I really do get enjoyment..particularly from children, my own great grandchild Finlay just cracks me up. Today she said "you be the dragon I'll be the little girl"...Well I was such a good dragon, that she said..."hey wait, "I'll be the dragon you be the little girl".. Then I started to sing Puff the Magic Dragon, she said, "Good that's my favourite song"...We sang and skipped our way home from the park, near her new home...What fun, then I almost wept that Mac could not be with us...He would have loved that...so see there I go again.
3. The capacity to become comfortable with the way things are rather than attempting to make things as they were.
Well that is true, I am comfortable with the way things are..I know they will never be as they were...and the way they were was not always comfortable...Mac was not always happy, he was not well, and he was at times so lost..so would I want to make things as they were..no...So for that one I am definitely reconciled..so with that bit of improvement, I'll say g'nite.
Sunday 1 November 2015
Sunday, November 1, 2014 To your "big" toe......
It's been a lovely day, seeing my sweet great grandchildren, the loves of my life...but also I received a sweet reminder from my "own true Love" a kind of laugh from the past. Les sent along some of the stuff that thankfully he took home rather than have me throw it out.. when he sorted it all, there were some letters from Mac sent to me when I went with my mom to England. Though I could only read one, it was too overwhelming and heartbreaking to read any more, I did get a chuckle on the letter I read, because Mac had attached a card...this is what it said..
To Your "Big" Toe
I miss you too!!
"Left Ear"
Mac used to complain that I never stay still in bed, I move all around and even get my big toe in his left ear...
Of course the letter says much more, but I felt that the laugh I got did help me to go on with life, and thus the following poem that I received at the grieving group rings true...
You can shed a tear now that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close our eyes and pray he'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty,
Because you cannot see him
Or can be full of the love
that you have shared
You can turn our back on tomorrow
And live for yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow
Because of yesterday
You can remember him and ache
That he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory
and let him live on
You can cry and close your mind
Be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want
Smile, open your eyes
Love, and go on
Well I'm smiling through the tears...what a fun guy he was so I will smile and open my eyes...
Although for now I will go to bed, wishing I could bother his left ear...
g'nite.
To Your "Big" Toe
I miss you too!!
"Left Ear"
Mac used to complain that I never stay still in bed, I move all around and even get my big toe in his left ear...
Of course the letter says much more, but I felt that the laugh I got did help me to go on with life, and thus the following poem that I received at the grieving group rings true...
You can shed a tear now that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived
You can close our eyes and pray he'll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left
Your heart can be empty,
Because you cannot see him
Or can be full of the love
that you have shared
You can turn our back on tomorrow
And live for yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow
Because of yesterday
You can remember him and ache
That he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory
and let him live on
You can cry and close your mind
Be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want
Smile, open your eyes
Love, and go on
Well I'm smiling through the tears...what a fun guy he was so I will smile and open my eyes...
Although for now I will go to bed, wishing I could bother his left ear...
g'nite.
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