I almost had a fit when I helped Mac get into bed, he said "where are you going"? Then I remembered when he gets in bed he wants to know where I sleep, so I said what I usually say...which is "I'm not going anywhere yet, I'm just going to sit here beside you till you are sleeping, then I'm going to my bed upstairs." BUT, because, I'm actually going away tomorrow, I was almost in panic city, I did't want him to be worried and unable to sleep..so I have been just saying, the following words. Debbie will be visiting you tomorrow, Cecilia will probably be helping you to bed next week, and words of that nature. As I have both my caregivers coming one from 12:00 - 3:00 and the other from 5:00 to 8:00.
I'm all nervous about this as I know need a break but it's such a job to get it all together and have specific clothes ready, specific times and of course, let the staff know without letting Mac know as he will get agitated and start asking questions and then forgetting the answers and asking all over again. I know my friends Deb and Cecilia will be fine, they are with him often, and care for him so therefore, he will be good too. The only person who is walking around with a long face and a hairdo like Margaret Thatcher (the hairdresser has one type for all) is ME.
I'm typing this with a big lump in my throat and thinking why the hell am I leaving...forgetting all the nights that I go to bed exhausted thinking, lucky so and so is going to Mexico ..lucky this one going to Fla. so here I am Lucky me, acting like a jerk. He will be fine I know and therefore, I have to smarten up. Today, he was so on-target, eating, walking, talking, even going the toilet easily, and getting ready for bed, no problem...so I forget the other days and other nights, one good thing when I was coming upstairs after leaving him - met the morning nurse, she said - did he take his pill. I answered sure, easily, she said that's good as he has been spitting out his morning thyroid pill ...so he was not quite perfect...but nearly.
So my mood will switch too, and I know I will enjoy my holiday, but in the meantime, need to get to bed as will be leaving for the airport at 5;30, my friend Ginny will be here to get me, and tell me it's necessary, enjoy - force yourself. So there you have it...remember everyone needs a break and a change...ok time to look at my favourite show for the rest of he week...THE OCEAN...and come back to Mac and the BLOG, g'nite.
Thursday 22 January 2015
Saturday 17 January 2015
Saturday, January 17, 2015.. Where is it...
There are so many different rather sad events happening these days..not only in our lives, i.e. Mac's in particular, that it is wonderful when something lovely happens and that's what I'd like to just make sure I don't forget and that is how lovely it was to hold our newest great grandchild - Lachlan Lorne Fergeson, he was born January 15 2014 How sweet and beautiful he is; and how funny that Finley his 3 yr old sister, wants to call him "Private" after a penquin in a movie!!!
When I tried to explain to Mac how he held my thumb with his tiny little fingers, he said "where is it", I thought he meant the baby or the thumb - but no, he meant his chair. He really has so many problems with focusing - trying to sit down - I hadn't even tried to sit him down, I was telling him about the baby, but again he hears and other times he just doesn't hear. Today, he was especially off-target, in walking, talking, sitting, standing, eating but at the same time, he was funny. He would kind of joke and say, it was my fault I didn't get whatever in the proper place etc. and somehow I found everything hilarious (must be tired)..getting him to bed especially was funny and it kind of rubbed off on him as he finally laughed too...and as I said to my friend in an email
we need to laugh otherwise we’d spend tons of time crying…Getting Mac ready for bed, I couldn’t stop laughing, as he would curse me saying how stupid I didn’t know how to put his diaper on, and needed help..can you believe I laughed at that. That’s why I think I need a vacation for sure.
Even his room-mate Walter made me laugh (not intentionally and certainly I tried to make sure he didn't hear me). BUT, as I've mentioned before when they help to get Mac ready for bed, he swears a blue streak, when they try to get Walter ready - he says "oy oy oy"...well tonight surprise. He said, "hey stop, Jesus Christ", and when Abdel said "I'm just trying to clean you...he said "balls"..I was shocked, and I know where he is getting his newfound bad language, his room mate has been a bad example.
Actually as long as I'm calm, smiling, and being matter of fact...it goes fairly well now..but I am letting the preposees do the bottom half of his body i.e pull ups or diapers - I wash, then they do the rest..Taking off his sweater can be a problem. The other night my daughter Gaye did it and even put his undershirt and then his nightshirt on, easily, she is a natural. I have to say I'm fortunate with the help ..but it can be sad to see others struggling without help - eating, walking etc..
My friend Madolin sent me the following - I've had it in before and plan to give it to the staff Director to use at a conference that will be for staff and family Feb. 12...
An Alzheimer's Poem
Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you to be
With me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting.
Can't be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you.
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me.
Love me 'til my life is done.
So thanks Madolin,and g'nite.
When I tried to explain to Mac how he held my thumb with his tiny little fingers, he said "where is it", I thought he meant the baby or the thumb - but no, he meant his chair. He really has so many problems with focusing - trying to sit down - I hadn't even tried to sit him down, I was telling him about the baby, but again he hears and other times he just doesn't hear. Today, he was especially off-target, in walking, talking, sitting, standing, eating but at the same time, he was funny. He would kind of joke and say, it was my fault I didn't get whatever in the proper place etc. and somehow I found everything hilarious (must be tired)..getting him to bed especially was funny and it kind of rubbed off on him as he finally laughed too...and as I said to my friend in an email
we need to laugh otherwise we’d spend tons of time crying…Getting Mac ready for bed, I couldn’t stop laughing, as he would curse me saying how stupid I didn’t know how to put his diaper on, and needed help..can you believe I laughed at that. That’s why I think I need a vacation for sure.
Even his room-mate Walter made me laugh (not intentionally and certainly I tried to make sure he didn't hear me). BUT, as I've mentioned before when they help to get Mac ready for bed, he swears a blue streak, when they try to get Walter ready - he says "oy oy oy"...well tonight surprise. He said, "hey stop, Jesus Christ", and when Abdel said "I'm just trying to clean you...he said "balls"..I was shocked, and I know where he is getting his newfound bad language, his room mate has been a bad example.
Actually as long as I'm calm, smiling, and being matter of fact...it goes fairly well now..but I am letting the preposees do the bottom half of his body i.e pull ups or diapers - I wash, then they do the rest..Taking off his sweater can be a problem. The other night my daughter Gaye did it and even put his undershirt and then his nightshirt on, easily, she is a natural. I have to say I'm fortunate with the help ..but it can be sad to see others struggling without help - eating, walking etc..
My friend Madolin sent me the following - I've had it in before and plan to give it to the staff Director to use at a conference that will be for staff and family Feb. 12...
An Alzheimer's Poem
Do not ask me to remember.
Don't try to make me understand.
Let me rest and know you're with me.
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand.
I'm confused beyond your concept.
I am sad and sick and lost.
All I know is that I need you to be
With me at all cost.
Do not lose your patience with me.
Do not scold or curse or cry.
I can't help the way I'm acting.
Can't be different though I try.
Just remember that I need you.
That the best of me is gone.
Please don't fail to stand beside me.
Love me 'til my life is done.
So thanks Madolin,and g'nite.
Tuesday 13 January 2015
Tuesday, January 13, 2013...My birthday???
Well yes I reply - and had replied about six times today. It's your birthday, and so it was. A good birthday in many ways, i.e. up and happy this morning after his breakfast, Mac, keen to come up to our apartment for his morning coffee..and the day progressing that way, until...well..
Usually when I leave him with Debbie, all is well, and I don't worry, but when I returned home, it was to hear Mac, telling Deb. "Look you tell me, do this, do that, do this, do that." When they heard me come in, she came to me saying, he has been going on like this for so long. He wants me out of here" Apparently, he had also been saying she should "take off" etc. It was so obvious that she was really so sad about his behavior. I certainly can understand as his mood is often changeable, and he can be very observant, cranky and insulting..I guess, this is a first that he has been so clear and verbal in his feelings, and for such a period of time.
With this in mind I told her to try to ignore, do not go along with this by answering, just do some other things around the house, give him time to cool off. I never know what can set him off, it could be that he wanted to go to the bathroom and didn't want her help, who knows? So I just went ahead with my little plan which was to share three little cakes with him and Deb for his birthday. He went along with this grudgingly, and Deb and I made conversation about his birthday, and about things that didn't pertain to him personally so that he could just get in a better frame of mind.
Just as she was getting ready to go, Glenna visited us to celebrate as well, and all continued in a good way, and so when she was leaving, I said to Mac - "don't forget to give Debbie a hug", She looked alarmed and almost wanted to duck out on it, but much to her surprise he got up and hugged her. As I pointed out, it is o.k. this kind of behavior, is par for the course, he gets into a snit, and then out of it..but one has to go along for the ride. She said, but you don't understand, it gets me right here as she pointed to her heart."
Well for sure I do, he has been insulting to me and I try to keep my cool as this is how I kind of deal with it.... I, always have to say to myself, what must it be like, it must be a real drag, to have to have someone tell one what to do, where to go. when to stand up, how to hold a cup, how to use a spoon..how to sit down, where to put your hand when you are trying to sit down. Where to stand when you are going for breakfast, dinner or supper. How to stand as you have your clothes taken off you ,or using the toilet, how to have someone wash the private part of your body, how to have someone say - every night - okay put your head on the pillow (where the hell is the pillow)..oh am I falling off the bed, no this guy is lifting my legs up" and last but not least, 'where is my mother, how come no one brings her to me , or brings me to her" So keeping this sad tale in mind, of how it is when one has had Alzheimer's for several years, how good it must feel to be able to say, "take off, bug out, I don't need you, bull shit, etc.
Of course, at times, I do get discouraged, sad, and at times just plain mad, saying "look I'm only trying to help, give me a break, just stop that - whatever that is"...but when I put myself in his place, I can only say, he is a gem, as most the time he is in a good mood, or quiet, wants to do the best he can.
Nothing makes me happier then to hear him say "this is such a nice place," this on the second floor where he sleeps. or "isn't that a lovely lamp"- this is the light that shines from the small lamp that Maureen gave us- it gives a warm yellow glow on his night table- where he sits on one side in his basket chair and I sit on the other. Where just before he gets ready for bed, he enjoys a glass of juice and a couple of cookies.. that, he can handle by himself.. and in the morning when I bring him up to our 6th floor apartment, he will say "what a nice clean place, and then the crowning touch; when he enters the apartment and sees the sun streaming through the huge windows, touches the furniture .."oh this is a beautiful home, this is so beautiful". Such appreciation. I love it, and this happens just about every day, as every time it is almost all new to him..or it's as if it just happened lately and he is confirming it all in his mind.
Someone said to me today - "you should write a book", I don't recall what it was in reference to - perhaps what it is like to live in this place - or live with Mac - or I really don't know, but for sure I am writing a blog, and sometimes I go on and on, and really it's time to stop, so g'nite.
Usually when I leave him with Debbie, all is well, and I don't worry, but when I returned home, it was to hear Mac, telling Deb. "Look you tell me, do this, do that, do this, do that." When they heard me come in, she came to me saying, he has been going on like this for so long. He wants me out of here" Apparently, he had also been saying she should "take off" etc. It was so obvious that she was really so sad about his behavior. I certainly can understand as his mood is often changeable, and he can be very observant, cranky and insulting..I guess, this is a first that he has been so clear and verbal in his feelings, and for such a period of time.
With this in mind I told her to try to ignore, do not go along with this by answering, just do some other things around the house, give him time to cool off. I never know what can set him off, it could be that he wanted to go to the bathroom and didn't want her help, who knows? So I just went ahead with my little plan which was to share three little cakes with him and Deb for his birthday. He went along with this grudgingly, and Deb and I made conversation about his birthday, and about things that didn't pertain to him personally so that he could just get in a better frame of mind.
Just as she was getting ready to go, Glenna visited us to celebrate as well, and all continued in a good way, and so when she was leaving, I said to Mac - "don't forget to give Debbie a hug", She looked alarmed and almost wanted to duck out on it, but much to her surprise he got up and hugged her. As I pointed out, it is o.k. this kind of behavior, is par for the course, he gets into a snit, and then out of it..but one has to go along for the ride. She said, but you don't understand, it gets me right here as she pointed to her heart."
Well for sure I do, he has been insulting to me and I try to keep my cool as this is how I kind of deal with it.... I, always have to say to myself, what must it be like, it must be a real drag, to have to have someone tell one what to do, where to go. when to stand up, how to hold a cup, how to use a spoon..how to sit down, where to put your hand when you are trying to sit down. Where to stand when you are going for breakfast, dinner or supper. How to stand as you have your clothes taken off you ,or using the toilet, how to have someone wash the private part of your body, how to have someone say - every night - okay put your head on the pillow (where the hell is the pillow)..oh am I falling off the bed, no this guy is lifting my legs up" and last but not least, 'where is my mother, how come no one brings her to me , or brings me to her" So keeping this sad tale in mind, of how it is when one has had Alzheimer's for several years, how good it must feel to be able to say, "take off, bug out, I don't need you, bull shit, etc.
Of course, at times, I do get discouraged, sad, and at times just plain mad, saying "look I'm only trying to help, give me a break, just stop that - whatever that is"...but when I put myself in his place, I can only say, he is a gem, as most the time he is in a good mood, or quiet, wants to do the best he can.
Nothing makes me happier then to hear him say "this is such a nice place," this on the second floor where he sleeps. or "isn't that a lovely lamp"- this is the light that shines from the small lamp that Maureen gave us- it gives a warm yellow glow on his night table- where he sits on one side in his basket chair and I sit on the other. Where just before he gets ready for bed, he enjoys a glass of juice and a couple of cookies.. that, he can handle by himself.. and in the morning when I bring him up to our 6th floor apartment, he will say "what a nice clean place, and then the crowning touch; when he enters the apartment and sees the sun streaming through the huge windows, touches the furniture .."oh this is a beautiful home, this is so beautiful". Such appreciation. I love it, and this happens just about every day, as every time it is almost all new to him..or it's as if it just happened lately and he is confirming it all in his mind.
Someone said to me today - "you should write a book", I don't recall what it was in reference to - perhaps what it is like to live in this place - or live with Mac - or I really don't know, but for sure I am writing a blog, and sometimes I go on and on, and really it's time to stop, so g'nite.
Wednesday 7 January 2015
Wednesday January 7 2014 I'm so tired...
Just reread my last blog, noticed it's rather scattered in thinking and content, and this will also be somewhat the same, as that's the way I am today, but wanted to blog this - I have never seen Mac so completely bushed for a whole day. (exception of course in the hospital)...He has been sitting with his eyes closed all day. He has tried to be a bit "UP", ate a little sandwich, a cookie and drank half a glass of juice, and tried to walk a bit, then said I'm so tired, even when walking he has his eyes tightly shut.
The preposee on duty this a.m. told me he was aggressive and hit her. I guess he just did not want to get out of bed. I have told the head nurse that he must get to bed before 8:15 if he is to be able to get up in the a.m. Now lets see if there will be any change. Also had a rather mixed conversation with her regarding his pills, communication can get mixed up about this as the admin here deals with a different pharmacy..so I said o.k. have his meds come from the same pharmacy and then we can be on the same page..did she get it NO, she thought I was concerned about the $$$ it costs per month...anyway it is straightened out now. HOPE.. WELL, just decided the head director should know about the following :-
I know that last night I had to coax the girl to come and help me get him into bed, and he was awake when I left him, 8:45..so who knows what happened in the night. I must discuss this ...also when I was getting him ready for bed he had 3 patches on, I remember when I was doing this the directions say: remove patch before putting on a new patch each day...apparently there are some spinoffs if one does not do this. The Nurse on duty Bassim, was concerned, I told him I removed the two extra patches. (worry worry)did I remove the right ones and leave on the right one, who knows, certainly not me.
So now that I've passed the buck on to the head director, she phoned the nurse on duty and told him that Mac must be ready for bed pills and all, before 8:15 hurrah,now lets hope it works...g'nite
The preposee on duty this a.m. told me he was aggressive and hit her. I guess he just did not want to get out of bed. I have told the head nurse that he must get to bed before 8:15 if he is to be able to get up in the a.m. Now lets see if there will be any change. Also had a rather mixed conversation with her regarding his pills, communication can get mixed up about this as the admin here deals with a different pharmacy..so I said o.k. have his meds come from the same pharmacy and then we can be on the same page..did she get it NO, she thought I was concerned about the $$$ it costs per month...anyway it is straightened out now. HOPE.. WELL, just decided the head director should know about the following :-
I know that last night I had to coax the girl to come and help me get him into bed, and he was awake when I left him, 8:45..so who knows what happened in the night. I must discuss this ...also when I was getting him ready for bed he had 3 patches on, I remember when I was doing this the directions say: remove patch before putting on a new patch each day...apparently there are some spinoffs if one does not do this. The Nurse on duty Bassim, was concerned, I told him I removed the two extra patches. (worry worry)did I remove the right ones and leave on the right one, who knows, certainly not me.
So now that I've passed the buck on to the head director, she phoned the nurse on duty and told him that Mac must be ready for bed pills and all, before 8:15 hurrah,now lets hope it works...g'nite
Monday 5 January 2015
Monday, January 5, 2015..blah blah blah....
That's what Mac says when I try to talk French and take too long...this because I was learning how to put the rail up and down on his new bed, also how to raise the pillow end etc. Now I don't remember as I was too rattled listening to him saying that and trying to think of the words - sore back in French. I am taking the advice of my cousin and others and having the preposees change him and help me with getting him ready for bed, or off the toilet etc. Of course part of the blah stuff is because he does not want the preposees to do anything, he just wants me to do it all, well tough luck, I need the help and in fact am paying for it as well, so that's it.
In one of my emails I was saying how fast time goes, well it certainly can go fast in this place when one has to be somewhere at a certain time, but other times like this morning how slow, I'm waiting for Mac to be accessible, he is in bed, does not want to get up, no matter how much I coax him (it's 11;10). Who knows though why..as his bed that he went to sleep in last night has been changed, !!! I wanted a better wider bed and also a more up to date one. According to the nurse, the bed he had was not the correct one for him, he needed one he can get out of..yet this one doesn't really seem like he can. Anyway he was half dressed and lying there with his shoes on.
If only he could explain what happens, but I know his memory is so short that he won't remember anything by the time he gets up here.
Same thing yesterday, he was incensed at Lunch time, and wouldn't eat, wanted the police etc..but why and how I've no idea. He would say a garbled version of someone pushing him - but who - when or why...no explanation..I asked the preposee, and she pointed to a small scratch near his eye. She said "who did that, I don't know.". He could have done it himself, his nails need cutting, but it is hard to figure, as most the people there are like him, unable to remember, unable to say what or why.
One good thing I discovered this a.m. is that the little lady I call Yella Yella - as she is always saying that and zooming into everyone in her wheelchair..has been taken to a residence that caters to Arabian people, which is her mother tongue; hopefully that will help her as she also would ruin lunch hour with her crying (loudly) for different food - screaming etc. I wonder if Mac will get to that stage, it's as if she is a real little baby. So so sad, the whole picture.
I should not depress you with this, but it seems now that she is out of the scene we have two others taking over and supper was so noisy, Mac wanted to leave, so we brought his juice and dessert up to our apartment. May start bringing him to the main dining room, and bringing my veggie dinner down there - just for a change, and to get away from the zoo like atmosphere which can take over at times. I asked if we could have soft music on while we eat, but according to the nurse, the official stance on this is no music or distractions at meal time so that they concentrate on eating.hummm..
Moving on to a better place, when I was taking him down on the elevator, yesterday, we were just the two of us, he put his arms around me, hugged me, kissed me, and said.."you are a dear", isn't that nice..made up for his almost wanting to throttle me on the elevator last week.
Before I leave this blog I received some interesting items from the Home Care Site...Home Care Assistance [kzakskorn@homecareassistance.com]
INTERESTING RESEARCH ON ALZHEIMERS AND PARKINSONS, for those who are interested do try that site.\
g'nite
In one of my emails I was saying how fast time goes, well it certainly can go fast in this place when one has to be somewhere at a certain time, but other times like this morning how slow, I'm waiting for Mac to be accessible, he is in bed, does not want to get up, no matter how much I coax him (it's 11;10). Who knows though why..as his bed that he went to sleep in last night has been changed, !!! I wanted a better wider bed and also a more up to date one. According to the nurse, the bed he had was not the correct one for him, he needed one he can get out of..yet this one doesn't really seem like he can. Anyway he was half dressed and lying there with his shoes on.
If only he could explain what happens, but I know his memory is so short that he won't remember anything by the time he gets up here.
Same thing yesterday, he was incensed at Lunch time, and wouldn't eat, wanted the police etc..but why and how I've no idea. He would say a garbled version of someone pushing him - but who - when or why...no explanation..I asked the preposee, and she pointed to a small scratch near his eye. She said "who did that, I don't know.". He could have done it himself, his nails need cutting, but it is hard to figure, as most the people there are like him, unable to remember, unable to say what or why.
One good thing I discovered this a.m. is that the little lady I call Yella Yella - as she is always saying that and zooming into everyone in her wheelchair..has been taken to a residence that caters to Arabian people, which is her mother tongue; hopefully that will help her as she also would ruin lunch hour with her crying (loudly) for different food - screaming etc. I wonder if Mac will get to that stage, it's as if she is a real little baby. So so sad, the whole picture.
I should not depress you with this, but it seems now that she is out of the scene we have two others taking over and supper was so noisy, Mac wanted to leave, so we brought his juice and dessert up to our apartment. May start bringing him to the main dining room, and bringing my veggie dinner down there - just for a change, and to get away from the zoo like atmosphere which can take over at times. I asked if we could have soft music on while we eat, but according to the nurse, the official stance on this is no music or distractions at meal time so that they concentrate on eating.hummm..
Moving on to a better place, when I was taking him down on the elevator, yesterday, we were just the two of us, he put his arms around me, hugged me, kissed me, and said.."you are a dear", isn't that nice..made up for his almost wanting to throttle me on the elevator last week.
Before I leave this blog I received some interesting items from the Home Care Site...Home Care Assistance [kzakskorn@homecareassistance.com]
INTERESTING RESEARCH ON ALZHEIMERS AND PARKINSONS, for those who are interested do try that site.\
g'nite
Thursday 1 January 2015
January 1, 2015 Happy ...New ...Year...ummm
That's the way Mac answered many of the greetings we received today..he just did no get it...I told him several times that the people were wishing us a Happy New Year, as it is the beginning of a New Year. Our Preposee, Abedul said 2015 to him in French and English, but it really didn't click; but he would repeat the greeting back to people and then look a little blank and say ummm.
Just as the commentators on the radio and t.v. are talking about the highs and lows of 2014; I've been thinking of the highs and lows of the past week! One of the highs was that we are able to go OUTSIDE for a walk. Actually we have only done it twice..but that is a miracle I really never thought his walking would be good enough, especially having to wear boots ..but he did just fine.
Both walks were just up the street and around the small park, taking at the most 30 minutes (he is such a slow walker)and both times it was fun. Well fun, if one likes to hear someone say Hallelujah and then do a raspberry. Then I would say, okay if this is too much should we turn around and go home. He would answer "no it's okay, let's just go to the corner. Then at the next corner we would turn around and go back, and wow then the wind would be right in our faces, and Halleljah would turn to Jesus Christ. I said, it's so good of you to remember that this is the season to say those things..ha. He, of course did not get the joke, but it would set me off and we would laugh - and come back home completely satisfied with our afternoon.
So with eating really well - walking around the building, being fairly cooperative, its been a good week, with of course the exceptions..which with this illness is par for the course. The worst being doing something absolutely new, and that is taking him down to the 2nd floor because he was behaving agitated,swearing, and completely disoriented, this, New Year's eve. He started with saying he wanted to find Janet..I said softly, I'm Janet - we had 3 little children playing near him - two being my friend's grandchildren, and the third Finley, my great grandchild - well he swore - and said I was not Janet. and he wanted his wife. I tried saying we'd look for her tomorrow, but to no avail, he was going to go out and find her - and started to get furious. So, with that I took him away, saying let's go down to the second floor and see about it.
In the elevator - just the two of us, he gripped my wrists and started to really yell,and threaten... till I said. "hey let go, maybe she is on the second floor. When I got there I quickly explained to Abedel - He side tracked Mac, asking him how he was etc., as I said, Look Mac, I'll be back shortly, just wait for me - sit with the others - see you later, then took
off. I felt very sad as I knew how awful it must be for him, not to know what's going on. Who were all the kids and the people in the apartment, where was his home, his wife, his mother and so on. It must seem like such a nightmare for him.
About 45 min or so later I went down, he calmly said, "why were you so long, I was getting tired of waiting for you"...and that was it, no fuss he got ready for bed. Strangely enough, this morning after his breakfast, he was very crabby, I said "hey what's up what's wrong " He said, oh nothing to do with you, I'm mad at Janet." Well I just ignored that, talked about going around the building for a walk and explaining it was too windy and gusty...outside..
Later my friend came for lunch with us..her mom and dad both had the big A. She was perfect. Came in and actually spoke directly to him, sat beside him and waited for him to answer - it takes awhile for him to think, and many people kind of brush over it and don't bother to try to communicate,but continue talking and acting as if he isn't there. He doesn't mind most times, but it's usually good if we make him feel part of it even just some of the time, I'm guilty of this as well, as I'm usually so happy to talk to people who are on target and thereby leaving him out. I must remember to be more inclusive of him.
So the past week has been up and down in so many ways, but the ups trumped...not to say he'll be walking outside now all the time, but perhaps we will be able to walk outdoors again..now if my aching back goes away, as bending and getting him all dressed is the pits. so time to get my heating pad and get to bed .... happy new year g'nite
Just as the commentators on the radio and t.v. are talking about the highs and lows of 2014; I've been thinking of the highs and lows of the past week! One of the highs was that we are able to go OUTSIDE for a walk. Actually we have only done it twice..but that is a miracle I really never thought his walking would be good enough, especially having to wear boots ..but he did just fine.
Both walks were just up the street and around the small park, taking at the most 30 minutes (he is such a slow walker)and both times it was fun. Well fun, if one likes to hear someone say Hallelujah and then do a raspberry. Then I would say, okay if this is too much should we turn around and go home. He would answer "no it's okay, let's just go to the corner. Then at the next corner we would turn around and go back, and wow then the wind would be right in our faces, and Halleljah would turn to Jesus Christ. I said, it's so good of you to remember that this is the season to say those things..ha. He, of course did not get the joke, but it would set me off and we would laugh - and come back home completely satisfied with our afternoon.
So with eating really well - walking around the building, being fairly cooperative, its been a good week, with of course the exceptions..which with this illness is par for the course. The worst being doing something absolutely new, and that is taking him down to the 2nd floor because he was behaving agitated,swearing, and completely disoriented, this, New Year's eve. He started with saying he wanted to find Janet..I said softly, I'm Janet - we had 3 little children playing near him - two being my friend's grandchildren, and the third Finley, my great grandchild - well he swore - and said I was not Janet. and he wanted his wife. I tried saying we'd look for her tomorrow, but to no avail, he was going to go out and find her - and started to get furious. So, with that I took him away, saying let's go down to the second floor and see about it.
In the elevator - just the two of us, he gripped my wrists and started to really yell,and threaten... till I said. "hey let go, maybe she is on the second floor. When I got there I quickly explained to Abedel - He side tracked Mac, asking him how he was etc., as I said, Look Mac, I'll be back shortly, just wait for me - sit with the others - see you later, then took
off. I felt very sad as I knew how awful it must be for him, not to know what's going on. Who were all the kids and the people in the apartment, where was his home, his wife, his mother and so on. It must seem like such a nightmare for him.
About 45 min or so later I went down, he calmly said, "why were you so long, I was getting tired of waiting for you"...and that was it, no fuss he got ready for bed. Strangely enough, this morning after his breakfast, he was very crabby, I said "hey what's up what's wrong " He said, oh nothing to do with you, I'm mad at Janet." Well I just ignored that, talked about going around the building for a walk and explaining it was too windy and gusty...outside..
Later my friend came for lunch with us..her mom and dad both had the big A. She was perfect. Came in and actually spoke directly to him, sat beside him and waited for him to answer - it takes awhile for him to think, and many people kind of brush over it and don't bother to try to communicate,but continue talking and acting as if he isn't there. He doesn't mind most times, but it's usually good if we make him feel part of it even just some of the time, I'm guilty of this as well, as I'm usually so happy to talk to people who are on target and thereby leaving him out. I must remember to be more inclusive of him.
So the past week has been up and down in so many ways, but the ups trumped...not to say he'll be walking outside now all the time, but perhaps we will be able to walk outdoors again..now if my aching back goes away, as bending and getting him all dressed is the pits. so time to get my heating pad and get to bed .... happy new year g'nite
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