Thursday 28 November 2013
November 28, 2013 Friday..... Are we going to bed now...
mac gets very tired by evening and tonight at 7;30, asked, are we going to bed now...for one thing it gets dark so early he starts on his sundown syndrome problems at 4:30, in fact today he started it when we went for our walk, saying...it's bloody cold, I really think i should go home to Montreal. No way would he believe he was in Montreal..but he did add, well my mother was near here though, she was working here...i find he is starting to make up stories - as his mom really never worked anywhere...plus he told his cousin (on the phone),Janet was here for a visit, she was working nearby...oh really?? So it does get a bit eyeopening these days... Although yesterday's trip with the Teapot group to Target and out for lunch at Scores he was fine, he loves company - that's for sure.
Since i have so little time to do this blog, or in fact read books - write emails, though i spend time on phone calls when i can...last night, he fell off the chair, while i was on the phone thank God he was able to pick himself up by getting on his knees first...this is the third time he could do that, he could never do that when he fell at our house in Chateauguay, the neighbour always had to pick him up ...so that's an improvement...
the rest of this blog i will put in a couple of email replies to give the answers to some questions friends have asked. this was my response o a friend who phoned him...
Mac was so happy after he spoke with you, it kept up for some time, and he just
loved talking about you and what help you gave him....i showed him an old
pic of you myself and mac - retirement pic, he said, oh that was long long
ago....i'm sure he doesn't look like that now..i said, just a little older
just like us...he said, well he is such a good guy.. and you are....
just a quick note to thank you for your 'advice', it's always good and always accepted, many people including the people that can make it happen, the CLSC here have suggested Mac go to a group..we have tried to get him there, but he will NOT, he has never really been a joiner...he likes to be a leader...when i leave he just sits and sulks and gets furious...my friend says to make it happen one has to leave him there for a few times, problem is i can never get him to go ...right now he is in a bad mood and not too happy with his prepose who is getting his p.j.s on...he has his sundown moods...sometimes the time goes by and hes just fine, tonight is not one of those times.
it is so much simpler to just walk, enjoy and do various things with him although it does get tiring...i often long fo him to be able to discuss politics and events going on, but it's not going to happen...i do tell him what's going on, but it goes over his head...
well he is on his way back and wants to watch t.v. and then bed...so gnite and thanks for your support love you
and so i do love my friends and love mac, so must join him in bed...g'nite.
Saturday 23 November 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013 I thought I saw my mother working....
With sundown happening so early, we now go through the scenarios with Mac thinking 1. he has no money, or 2. he has lost all his money...or 1. he wonders if his mom is still alive, or 2. he'll say 'I thought I saw my mother working....I try different answers to the questions re; his mom, but the safest is to go along with him when he says he thinks he saw her..but the hard part is when he seems to be quite able to take the news that she is NOT alive..and he does, take it, but then perhaps the next day, he will not even ask, but just sit quietly crying, saying, I dreamt of my mom, but I know she died and no one told me...
The first part the being broke, no money...well that at least is always a winner although he can go through saying how happy he is to find out he has money in the bank, and now he knows how to get it if he needs it, and also he has money in his wallet..the only thing is that 5 minutes after his happy feelings about (a). he has money in his wallet,( b.) he has $$$ in the bank, is, he then forgets - we go through it all again..this can go on for one hour..and then there is the unhappy thought, that hey maybe you are not telling me about my money, maybe i cannot believe you...At times i then lose it, and we get into a kind of argument, and i raise my voice this can make a scene that can go round and round getting nowhere..........till i finally realize stop the noise, and just say, ok Mac, I'm taking a break from all this, i'm going to sit in the hall, you sit in the front room and we'll talk about it later...Hello, it works, so now i'm learning to just postpone stuff if it gets too out of hand...saying we'll look into it - good idea. we will check the bank tomorrow.
Sometimes there is no answer that can please, and it has happened where he is totally frantic...yelling and wanting to go to his own home, his own place...and wants me to get my car or a taxi and take him...this is unnerving...so I have a call in to the doc..and have been giving Mac his pill earlier -which the doc has not called me back, about this, but so far it's working.
So I'm putting in these sad scenarios but there are still good parts of the day, morning, and early afternoon, when we walk, mostly in the building, till one oclock, and then no matter what the weather, we are OUT, i'm looking for ways to have him enjoy,other than walking and so far music is the only way...we do crosswords, or I do and he listens and says that crossword puzzle is too old, one cannot find the words anymore, but sometimes we click on a word together...he is at the point now, where he cannot read, write, and only sometimes enjoy t.v. pictures, so...i've tried something new, and he seems to enjoy...that is reading poetry, i've started with simple poems by Christina Rosetti, and we'll see how we do...so onward and upward...
Of course if it seems that my life is totally all Mac, of course it is and it isn't, I do go shopping, visit people have company, talk on the phone, go to yoga..(all with mac, except for 3 - 4 hrs. a week) and there are other parts of my life that do not get into this blog as I want it to be mostly Mac's memory...so his memory tonight before bed is that he has new p.j's...they are so great he thinks he should wear them in the day, he ended his day, by having me phone Gaye to thank her for the lovely gift of p.j.s - his preposay, thinks he was in the best mood ever because of these new p.j.s so think I'll go to bed now and see how well he sleeps in them...g'nite
The first part the being broke, no money...well that at least is always a winner although he can go through saying how happy he is to find out he has money in the bank, and now he knows how to get it if he needs it, and also he has money in his wallet..the only thing is that 5 minutes after his happy feelings about (a). he has money in his wallet,( b.) he has $$$ in the bank, is, he then forgets - we go through it all again..this can go on for one hour..and then there is the unhappy thought, that hey maybe you are not telling me about my money, maybe i cannot believe you...At times i then lose it, and we get into a kind of argument, and i raise my voice this can make a scene that can go round and round getting nowhere..........till i finally realize stop the noise, and just say, ok Mac, I'm taking a break from all this, i'm going to sit in the hall, you sit in the front room and we'll talk about it later...Hello, it works, so now i'm learning to just postpone stuff if it gets too out of hand...saying we'll look into it - good idea. we will check the bank tomorrow.
Sometimes there is no answer that can please, and it has happened where he is totally frantic...yelling and wanting to go to his own home, his own place...and wants me to get my car or a taxi and take him...this is unnerving...so I have a call in to the doc..and have been giving Mac his pill earlier -which the doc has not called me back, about this, but so far it's working.
So I'm putting in these sad scenarios but there are still good parts of the day, morning, and early afternoon, when we walk, mostly in the building, till one oclock, and then no matter what the weather, we are OUT, i'm looking for ways to have him enjoy,other than walking and so far music is the only way...we do crosswords, or I do and he listens and says that crossword puzzle is too old, one cannot find the words anymore, but sometimes we click on a word together...he is at the point now, where he cannot read, write, and only sometimes enjoy t.v. pictures, so...i've tried something new, and he seems to enjoy...that is reading poetry, i've started with simple poems by Christina Rosetti, and we'll see how we do...so onward and upward...
Of course if it seems that my life is totally all Mac, of course it is and it isn't, I do go shopping, visit people have company, talk on the phone, go to yoga..(all with mac, except for 3 - 4 hrs. a week) and there are other parts of my life that do not get into this blog as I want it to be mostly Mac's memory...so his memory tonight before bed is that he has new p.j's...they are so great he thinks he should wear them in the day, he ended his day, by having me phone Gaye to thank her for the lovely gift of p.j.s - his preposay, thinks he was in the best mood ever because of these new p.j.s so think I'll go to bed now and see how well he sleeps in them...g'nite
Thursday 21 November 2013
Friday, November 21, 2013 you do all the work.....
While putting things away and trying to make our place tidy this evening..mac said, you do all the work around here, i hope they pay you...Well that was a bit of a surprise, so glad he noticed ...but I replied, well you help...oh yeah what do i do -- well I said, you carry our bag of laundry to the laundry room, you dry the dishes, you help to feed the cat. With that he kind of brightened up, and so on we went to the elevator and down to the dining room for dinner.. We manage to go about twice a week, which he enjoys and i'm beginning to think this might help us to get over the hump of "sundown syndrome'...which at times can get really out of hand.
On the way down he was keen to talk about his money or lack of, and this recurring theme happens just about every evening..thankfully by the time we get to the dining room he is distracted and manages to forget, but not too long after dinner he is on the same page, it is either his money, of which he certainly has enough i always hasten to tell him, and to show him...but it's never enough and the conversation can spin on and on, till I'm just about ready to drop...or it's to talk about his mother, and is she dead or alive and why didn't I tell him, why do I hide the information etc etc. It did little good to talk about the super phone call we got before going down - my cousin phoned from California...and he had a great conversation with him and also with his daughter, there was no distraction, as he hardly remembered the phone call...
Tonight i just about had it, and said so..'look that's enough, we go over this every night unless someone is visiting us, and I think that's it, stop, we will talk about this in the morning, when I'm brighter and have more patience to go over it so many times....surprise, that helped he said, o.k. and was o.k. with going to watch t.v. so sad though that we cannot talk about the politics in Canada, and the scandals going on in our Government...i heard this joke and it would have made him really laugh in the past..so I tried it, - said, the new program title for mayor Ford is "The Big Bong".. he just looked at me..and I just laughed and said, well you had to know a bit about the mayor and his drug problem...oh yeah he said that guy is always on t.v. well that was a step in the right direction.
His sense of humor though is still there and when the preposay said, as she finished getting him ready for bed..."now you are a new man' he said - and now you are quite a liar...she laughed and just loved it...said you are so funny ...and he is..he even managed to joke a bit when I got home from yesterdays day out and the day before - imagine i was able to get out for two afternoons without too many problems...I had prepared food, and some activity - helping Debbie with the laundry...and the dishes, making lunch later so this could happen..so that's the good news. Was going to make a kind of graph so he could see the time passing, but he can't really read or understand even pictures so that was out.
It's a challenge, and especially so as when I am home he is beside me like a lost puppy, as even now he is waiting for me, so must go, i've typed this at record speed so i know there's many errors...but wanted to get it down....g'nite.
On the way down he was keen to talk about his money or lack of, and this recurring theme happens just about every evening..thankfully by the time we get to the dining room he is distracted and manages to forget, but not too long after dinner he is on the same page, it is either his money, of which he certainly has enough i always hasten to tell him, and to show him...but it's never enough and the conversation can spin on and on, till I'm just about ready to drop...or it's to talk about his mother, and is she dead or alive and why didn't I tell him, why do I hide the information etc etc. It did little good to talk about the super phone call we got before going down - my cousin phoned from California...and he had a great conversation with him and also with his daughter, there was no distraction, as he hardly remembered the phone call...
Tonight i just about had it, and said so..'look that's enough, we go over this every night unless someone is visiting us, and I think that's it, stop, we will talk about this in the morning, when I'm brighter and have more patience to go over it so many times....surprise, that helped he said, o.k. and was o.k. with going to watch t.v. so sad though that we cannot talk about the politics in Canada, and the scandals going on in our Government...i heard this joke and it would have made him really laugh in the past..so I tried it, - said, the new program title for mayor Ford is "The Big Bong".. he just looked at me..and I just laughed and said, well you had to know a bit about the mayor and his drug problem...oh yeah he said that guy is always on t.v. well that was a step in the right direction.
His sense of humor though is still there and when the preposay said, as she finished getting him ready for bed..."now you are a new man' he said - and now you are quite a liar...she laughed and just loved it...said you are so funny ...and he is..he even managed to joke a bit when I got home from yesterdays day out and the day before - imagine i was able to get out for two afternoons without too many problems...I had prepared food, and some activity - helping Debbie with the laundry...and the dishes, making lunch later so this could happen..so that's the good news. Was going to make a kind of graph so he could see the time passing, but he can't really read or understand even pictures so that was out.
It's a challenge, and especially so as when I am home he is beside me like a lost puppy, as even now he is waiting for me, so must go, i've typed this at record speed so i know there's many errors...but wanted to get it down....g'nite.
Saturday 16 November 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013 Did you grow up in St. Henri.....
A spectacular day....warm, sunny, almost unbelievable in this month of what my elementary school teacher used to call NOWONDER, as it seemed that it was always awful and therefore so was our work, ...but not today, it was cloudless, blue and beautiful so after Mac and I went to a Christmas Bazaar, we walked all along the lake - t'was super...the ambiance was such that as we strolled we enjoyed everything, the cute dog with his coat on, standing up in a cart being pulled along by a guy all in black leather on his motor bike radio blasting cool music...children pushing their scooters, and teens walking hand in hand, and of course oldies like us...walking hand in hand...when out of the blue, Mac said, Did you grow up in ST. HENRI??
Well, no i didn't, i grew up in Park Extension, mac said, well i grew up in St. Henri, i said, "I know",...oh - how did you know? he replied.. So then I went into our usual ....how we met at pine beach, how he saved the day for me, by giving me my sweater, when I ripped my bathing suit geting out of the rowboat...then driving me home to my friend's home on lakeshore road...on the bar of his bike...we then tried to figure out, or I did, our ages at that time..can't believe it...I was 15 he was 17 ...i remember that day and that summer, and i thought i was really mature..ha. Mac said, you remember everything so well...then I go into the other litany...how he has lost his memory, much like a person with amnesia...so i am trying to remember everything for him...and as usual he says...well do you remember my mother...I thought i saw her the other day...
It's really amazing how these themes stay with him just about every day, the good thing is that where he used to cry when I'd say, Mac, our moms are gone now...we are the oldies, you are 83 I am 81...he now replies, oh yes you're right. Then he always says, Funny, though I thought i saw my mom, right in the place where we live. When we returned back to our place, i realized, he is right, there is a lady, who resembles his mom that sits downstairs every day...so I went over closer rather than just waving hello, and said hello to her..and Mac said hello, .after we left i said to mac, she looks a little like your mom, don't you think. He said,mmmm no I don't think so...oh well, tried.
As long as we are together, and as long as i'm always in good mood - which is really necessary, he is fine...he can't stand to see me sad, or cross...so it works two ways, as if i'm o.k. he is o.k. he can sit for quite some time, waiting as he did today at the bazaar watching the people, i sit him well back, he can't stand too much noise, feels that he is necessary, as he holds my stuff, and knows that way I'm sure to come back to him...and as I leave the same little refrain follows me, 'don't get lost:...Now i have to work on this theme, that is, to make it clear that I have to go out sometime by myself...and he should relax, and know that I will come back...maybe I can give him some task, dry dishes ???or something that he does anyway, but that is the only kind of thing he does besides carrying my laundry to the washing machine...this is my big problem, leaving ..and i have to be out Tues and Wed. of this coming week...maybe leave him with some pictures to show debbie and explain...if he can.. as well as the dishes...
one funny thing that had me laughing today, i was helping him as usual with his clothing when he was in the bathroom and my cold clammy hand touched his warm bare waist...he jumped and said..."hey', i said oh sorry my hands are kind of cold...he said.."darn right, don't touch me anywhere else down there o.k.'...well hey i don't intend to...and we both roared i guess you'd have to be there....oh well, i take my laughs any way i can...I need them.
So time to watch t.v. for a bit...i wish he could follow the story, but he tries, i'm on computer early tonight and he's waiting, for me to answer my emails here...so bye for now.
Well, no i didn't, i grew up in Park Extension, mac said, well i grew up in St. Henri, i said, "I know",...oh - how did you know? he replied.. So then I went into our usual ....how we met at pine beach, how he saved the day for me, by giving me my sweater, when I ripped my bathing suit geting out of the rowboat...then driving me home to my friend's home on lakeshore road...on the bar of his bike...we then tried to figure out, or I did, our ages at that time..can't believe it...I was 15 he was 17 ...i remember that day and that summer, and i thought i was really mature..ha. Mac said, you remember everything so well...then I go into the other litany...how he has lost his memory, much like a person with amnesia...so i am trying to remember everything for him...and as usual he says...well do you remember my mother...I thought i saw her the other day...
It's really amazing how these themes stay with him just about every day, the good thing is that where he used to cry when I'd say, Mac, our moms are gone now...we are the oldies, you are 83 I am 81...he now replies, oh yes you're right. Then he always says, Funny, though I thought i saw my mom, right in the place where we live. When we returned back to our place, i realized, he is right, there is a lady, who resembles his mom that sits downstairs every day...so I went over closer rather than just waving hello, and said hello to her..and Mac said hello, .after we left i said to mac, she looks a little like your mom, don't you think. He said,mmmm no I don't think so...oh well, tried.
As long as we are together, and as long as i'm always in good mood - which is really necessary, he is fine...he can't stand to see me sad, or cross...so it works two ways, as if i'm o.k. he is o.k. he can sit for quite some time, waiting as he did today at the bazaar watching the people, i sit him well back, he can't stand too much noise, feels that he is necessary, as he holds my stuff, and knows that way I'm sure to come back to him...and as I leave the same little refrain follows me, 'don't get lost:...Now i have to work on this theme, that is, to make it clear that I have to go out sometime by myself...and he should relax, and know that I will come back...maybe I can give him some task, dry dishes ???or something that he does anyway, but that is the only kind of thing he does besides carrying my laundry to the washing machine...this is my big problem, leaving ..and i have to be out Tues and Wed. of this coming week...maybe leave him with some pictures to show debbie and explain...if he can.. as well as the dishes...
one funny thing that had me laughing today, i was helping him as usual with his clothing when he was in the bathroom and my cold clammy hand touched his warm bare waist...he jumped and said..."hey', i said oh sorry my hands are kind of cold...he said.."darn right, don't touch me anywhere else down there o.k.'...well hey i don't intend to...and we both roared i guess you'd have to be there....oh well, i take my laughs any way i can...I need them.
So time to watch t.v. for a bit...i wish he could follow the story, but he tries, i'm on computer early tonight and he's waiting, for me to answer my emails here...so bye for now.
Wednesday 13 November 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013......I'm hiding.....
I've decided that the happiest time in Mac's day is bedtime...for although if the sun is shining getting out of bed is fairly okay, bedtime seems to be a safe and happy occasion. In fact, starting around 8:30 p.m. he is keen to brush his teeth, wash and by then he already has had the preposay who has got him in his p.j.s so he is kind of champing at the bit to hop in...i kind of try to keep him up, by encouraging him to play with the cat...watch the news, but these are only very peripheral distractions, to the main attraction, the BED...so by 9:45 he is getting tucked in, tonight as i was tucking him in, he was smiling and all of a sudden he pulled the blankets over his face...I said hey what's going on, he pulled the blanket down and with a big smile, said 'i'm hiding' ...well i just cracked up, he looked so happy and it was rather fun as we both laughed as i gave him his eye drops, which is almost the last thing that has to be done, the other two things are his pill and his patch..(meds for Alzheimers disease) then the very last thing is his kiss or should I say kisses goodnight...
These days i'm concerned about his going to bed too early as we have not been walking as much (freezing and damp) and therefore, his sleep is not as deep, and his being awake in a dream can be a real pain. last night he was looking for some items under the blankets,then had to get out of bed to look under the bed, finally he gave up, when I said, I think you will find them in the morning in broad daylight...well o.k. he replied, and thankfully fell off to sleep again.
I'm also concerned about how he sticks to me like glue, which is okay as I enjoy having him with me - and I know he feels relaxed knowing all is well, jan is there. BUT, I do need respite, and at this time I only have three to four hours a week without him...He comes to yoga with me on Tuesdays, and watches as I do yoga, or closes his eys and relaxes, he comes with me on Wednesdays to our study class at the church..also.with me shopping or Teapot activity...(senior's club) The social worker feels, i should really try pushing him to a Day Center for A. clients like himself, apparently they all protest but after a couple of weeks, they look forward to this activity...i have tried, but he really hates the idea and protests
loudly and vigoursly, i may try again...will check out which days they have.
It's amazing, every one thinks he is so wonderful and quiet..and he certanly is as long as he is with me .they don't realize how he can be loud and threatening when he is not able to be with me ...in fact when it has happened in the activity room, the people there thought he was fooling...little did they know...Last monday i took my 3 hour outing - had to rush out of the apartment, with him yelling and following me, and Debbie our caretaker, yelling bye jan have a good time...Once the door was closed, he knew he could not go out in the hall, even there he is lost...so he proceeded to sit and glare at poor Debbie, as she tried to interest him...in t.v., looking at pictures, finally she left him put food near him which he ate...but would hardly communicate...not a good situation.
Next Tuesday - is my next excursion, must must try to have it a more relaxing and pleasant experience for all concerned..but how..will give it some thought...but for now, must get some sleep myself, and i know who is going to be happy I'm there, and i'll be happy too..g'nite..
Friday 8 November 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013 Does she have any family....
Altogether a fairly good day for mac, not necessarily for me as I have other problems in my life besides Mac, such as getting all kinds of stuff accumulated over 50 years out of the house that we (hopefully) have sold, also making sure of the power of attorney, mac owns the house - i have to sell, so there are few glitches here. That's one of the sad things about this disease - we cannot share problems as Mac's memory is so short that even when we are packing stuff in our home, once we have returned here he forgets that we have even been in chateauguay, and that we own a house. Yesterday he heard me saying his name on the phone, asked what that was about, I told him well i was mentioning that you own the house in Chateauguay, well that caused a little fracas, "no way, i don't own a house, well i replied, with me you were in that house 50 years...a stunned face as mac turned to me and said, impossible...but then I digress as I wanted to say how he was today.....
He was super, joking, as we walked in a freezing wind to the bank, walked back home through the mall nearby and then later, looked forward to the fish and chip dinner we were to have in the dining room....i have mentioned before our table mates, 95 year old Edith and 93 year old Alice..but at another table nearby sits one lone but happy lady - she is or looks sharp, jokes and talks with us and every Friday has her beautiful white hair done at the beauty parlor here in the building...But at the end of the dinner, she always looks a little wistful and quickly the 95 year old Edith jumps up and says do you want me to take you home...'oh i don't want to disturb your after dinner tea...Edith always says, no problem, i'll come back for it...and off the two of them trot...Edith very very slim and spry leading the taller lady along...When Edith came back i said, Rita, that's the lady's name, is always walking she certainly knows her way around the little park in the back and around the lobby...Edith replied that's as far as she can go, otherwise she would be lost.
i was surprised to hear Mac say..'Does she have any family??? and he was so on target as that is so correct she is always alone...Edith said, her family live in Switzerland or somewhere, and she does not have any visitors at all.. Well she is always keen and never seems to mind - i added...Edith said, she would be lost though if i didn't take her home - she is never sure of where she lives...i said quietly to Edith on the side, neither does Mac..well she right away turns to mac...Do you know where you live/ mac said, 'well I'm not sure, but I guess I would go thruogh a few doors and find our place...I could see that Edith was quite shocked...but that didn't stop her from saying as he got up from his place and started brushing all the crumbs and stuff he gets all over himself...You are a little baby, I'll just have to spank you if you don't stop messing your self, and with that she started brushing him off...Mac said, "be careful or I'll pop you one...she answered and I'll pop you back and they both laughed happily...
This is how it is, he loves the people here and can take all kinds of guff from them.especially from Edith,..we visited Alice later to give her the number of a local dentist...and he was so happy to do this, he thinks of this place as one big home and everyone part of his life...sometimes when we are eating dinner in our apartment, he says, are we the only two here...he loves the ambiance when walking around the building waving and talking to everyone...so since we had no where special to go to for any length of time ..he was a happy camper all day in this big home...so .hurrah and g'nite.
He was super, joking, as we walked in a freezing wind to the bank, walked back home through the mall nearby and then later, looked forward to the fish and chip dinner we were to have in the dining room....i have mentioned before our table mates, 95 year old Edith and 93 year old Alice..but at another table nearby sits one lone but happy lady - she is or looks sharp, jokes and talks with us and every Friday has her beautiful white hair done at the beauty parlor here in the building...But at the end of the dinner, she always looks a little wistful and quickly the 95 year old Edith jumps up and says do you want me to take you home...'oh i don't want to disturb your after dinner tea...Edith always says, no problem, i'll come back for it...and off the two of them trot...Edith very very slim and spry leading the taller lady along...When Edith came back i said, Rita, that's the lady's name, is always walking she certainly knows her way around the little park in the back and around the lobby...Edith replied that's as far as she can go, otherwise she would be lost.
i was surprised to hear Mac say..'Does she have any family??? and he was so on target as that is so correct she is always alone...Edith said, her family live in Switzerland or somewhere, and she does not have any visitors at all.. Well she is always keen and never seems to mind - i added...Edith said, she would be lost though if i didn't take her home - she is never sure of where she lives...i said quietly to Edith on the side, neither does Mac..well she right away turns to mac...Do you know where you live/ mac said, 'well I'm not sure, but I guess I would go thruogh a few doors and find our place...I could see that Edith was quite shocked...but that didn't stop her from saying as he got up from his place and started brushing all the crumbs and stuff he gets all over himself...You are a little baby, I'll just have to spank you if you don't stop messing your self, and with that she started brushing him off...Mac said, "be careful or I'll pop you one...she answered and I'll pop you back and they both laughed happily...
This is how it is, he loves the people here and can take all kinds of guff from them.especially from Edith,..we visited Alice later to give her the number of a local dentist...and he was so happy to do this, he thinks of this place as one big home and everyone part of his life...sometimes when we are eating dinner in our apartment, he says, are we the only two here...he loves the ambiance when walking around the building waving and talking to everyone...so since we had no where special to go to for any length of time ..he was a happy camper all day in this big home...so .hurrah and g'nite.
Wednesday 6 November 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 I'm leaving when she comes...
It's kind of a damned if I do and damned if I don't. that is, saying i'm going to a meeting and Debbie will be coming to visit while I'm gone...should i say that a couple of hours before i leave to give him time to digest, or will he simmer all the time we're walking....or should i just wait till Debbie comes and let him know last minute...last time i did it at the last minute, big mistake, he was hostile and it was not a very good day for either Debbie or Mac...Decided to tell him when we were out on our morning walk, by the way the weather was super, (is this november?) kind of a big mistake for me, as our walk was ruined. We saw all kinds of lovely scenes, childen playing, a beautiful big dog wanting us to pet him, Fantastic fall coloured leaves, trees with their leaves completely gone but berries covering the branches still - what kind of a tree i was wondering to Mac, well no way would he look or comment....over and over he would just say, i'm leaing when she comes...
Finally he would not walk beside me, furious that i would not go along with his comment plus he said he could stay by himself, he was not a baby...It didn't matter that i pointed out that no it has no way anything to do with him not being a man, but that at this time he has to have help, his memory is gone - and if he left he would get lost...so sad to see him marching off by himself and then stopping at the end of the path in the little glade we were in, not knowing whether to go left or right...this happened over and over..as he marched head up and stiff, i would casually go and give him a little steer and he'd quickly march on ahead...again..till we were home..
Well of course, i still went to the meeting, which was all about MEMORY...although i could probably give the talk, it was good to reaffirm what I've learned, for instance, Dementia is not the same thing as Alzheimeers, Dementia is the umberella term, Alheimer's is one of the 6 different forms of Dementia, although the speaker from the Memory Clinic at The Douglas hospital gave the names, and i thought i would remember ...sad to say, i don't except that in some cases such as memory loss from stroke, and one other - the memory can possibly be regained, but in the case of A...no, the plaque that grows on the brain is what causes the memory loss, and the brain shrinks...
Some Memory loss is normal when one ages, and the different ways of helping the mind to remember, are of course - crossword puzzles, learning a new language, exercise particularly exercise where one breaks a sweat..-though all sorts of physical movment is good especially - walking - which was the reason the doc thinks Mac is still going strong, as many at his level of memory loss have many physical problems - he does have a problem with speech, and movement but usually it would be worse if it wasn't for the walking....
To keep memory it is important to use and think about foods such as those that are recommended , - coconut, vegetable greens, less root veges such as potatoes as the starch in the potato turns to sugar...apparently there is a type of dementia, sometimes called diabetes of the brain, or a vascular dementia..caused by high sugar intake, it is .also important to control weight...take Vitamin B12
Risks of having the big A. if it is in the family, is 5%...
The ways of helping those who live with A. -to lessen the stress suggetions were to meditate, take time
for yourself, share the burden with family members, go to support groups or a group, ...
well all this was very helpful, and of course the socializing was also on top of the list, and that is what i did with the people at the meeting which took place at the Teapot (seniors club)..it was great to discuss and meet and greet others - we all were pleased to know that it was common at our age to forget words,appointments, even what day it is or date, and of course names...i didn't mention that my mom said that forgetting at a late age was not my problem apparently i was forgetful at 10 years old, so hey maybe I've improved...
To make this long story short - mac was apparently upset when i left and continued off and on, not because i was gone,but he couldn't fnd his wallet, and said he thought the workers here had stolen it...immediately when I got in the building Debbie and he rushed to tell me, the solution was fast, up we went to the apartment and i showed him where he always leaves his wallet...hurrah, that made him so happy, so problem solved, and a happy camper was there for the rest of the day..even over the sundown syndrome time. so speaking of time, it's time for bed..g'nite.
Finally he would not walk beside me, furious that i would not go along with his comment plus he said he could stay by himself, he was not a baby...It didn't matter that i pointed out that no it has no way anything to do with him not being a man, but that at this time he has to have help, his memory is gone - and if he left he would get lost...so sad to see him marching off by himself and then stopping at the end of the path in the little glade we were in, not knowing whether to go left or right...this happened over and over..as he marched head up and stiff, i would casually go and give him a little steer and he'd quickly march on ahead...again..till we were home..
Well of course, i still went to the meeting, which was all about MEMORY...although i could probably give the talk, it was good to reaffirm what I've learned, for instance, Dementia is not the same thing as Alzheimeers, Dementia is the umberella term, Alheimer's is one of the 6 different forms of Dementia, although the speaker from the Memory Clinic at The Douglas hospital gave the names, and i thought i would remember ...sad to say, i don't except that in some cases such as memory loss from stroke, and one other - the memory can possibly be regained, but in the case of A...no, the plaque that grows on the brain is what causes the memory loss, and the brain shrinks...
Some Memory loss is normal when one ages, and the different ways of helping the mind to remember, are of course - crossword puzzles, learning a new language, exercise particularly exercise where one breaks a sweat..-though all sorts of physical movment is good especially - walking - which was the reason the doc thinks Mac is still going strong, as many at his level of memory loss have many physical problems - he does have a problem with speech, and movement but usually it would be worse if it wasn't for the walking....
To keep memory it is important to use and think about foods such as those that are recommended , - coconut, vegetable greens, less root veges such as potatoes as the starch in the potato turns to sugar...apparently there is a type of dementia, sometimes called diabetes of the brain, or a vascular dementia..caused by high sugar intake, it is .also important to control weight...take Vitamin B12
Risks of having the big A. if it is in the family, is 5%...
The ways of helping those who live with A. -to lessen the stress suggetions were to meditate, take time
for yourself, share the burden with family members, go to support groups or a group, ...
well all this was very helpful, and of course the socializing was also on top of the list, and that is what i did with the people at the meeting which took place at the Teapot (seniors club)..it was great to discuss and meet and greet others - we all were pleased to know that it was common at our age to forget words,appointments, even what day it is or date, and of course names...i didn't mention that my mom said that forgetting at a late age was not my problem apparently i was forgetful at 10 years old, so hey maybe I've improved...
To make this long story short - mac was apparently upset when i left and continued off and on, not because i was gone,but he couldn't fnd his wallet, and said he thought the workers here had stolen it...immediately when I got in the building Debbie and he rushed to tell me, the solution was fast, up we went to the apartment and i showed him where he always leaves his wallet...hurrah, that made him so happy, so problem solved, and a happy camper was there for the rest of the day..even over the sundown syndrome time. so speaking of time, it's time for bed..g'nite.
Sunday 3 November 2013
Sunday, November 3, 2013 I must have been away....
I have been writing this blog for some time, and it goes under the name of Mac's Memories...in the beginning we were able to talk about his memories, and some were so vivid to him..it was a pleasure Now gradually these memories are really fading, one last wisp is that he knows that he grew up in St. Henry, and of course his memories of his family, are also very very vague except for his mother, which he always thinks is still alive...
...As i've mentioned before he really does not remember his own family, or for that matter that he is married to me and that we have children..If I walk ahead of him and someone should get between us, he would easily follow that person. In terms of knowing where he is even in our apartment which is mostly one huge room, with nooks a hallway, bathroom and bedroom he can get lost...so as a kind of therapy not only for him but for myself as well i've been telling him the story of his children and how we had five children. Obviously i can tell him the same story over and over and he will repeat the same thing.."really i have five children, I must have been away from them...
/And so i start with our oldest - Leslie, show him a present day picture of Les, and say, see he looks like that now...then show him pictures of Les as a baby, other pics of les with his sisters..but they don't seem to interest him, until I include him in the story...
Just tonight - I said to him, how funny it was when you came to the hospital to see me after Les was born, you walked into my hospital room and kissed me and said, so how are you now. I said "well I'm so happy, you must be happy too, you got your wish"...My wish, what do you mean - i said, well you now have the baby boy you wished for. What!!!, the baby is born, and with a big smile and tears running down your face, you wanted to see baby Leslie right away...so we both went to the nursery and looked through the glass at our baby. you said, gee he's cute look he has black hair and looks like your dad... Then you said, I have to phone my family and let them know...well what a shock, when you phoned they all said, we know we called the hospital, she had a baby boy...how come you didn't call us before...seems the doctor told me later that he called but no answer, but you said - no way, but perhaps i was sleeping - anyway that's the story i tell him and we both laugh. Mac then looks at Leslie's picture and says really, it's strange, I'm sure I must been gone for awhile at that time...
and then surprise, Leslie phoned...and again Mac told him he was away a long time - and when les asked did you walk today...he asked me, yes I told him we went for a long walk from church at 12th ave, to our home at 32nd,...and that's how it goes, macs memory is now my memories of him, which he surely loves..
i can tell him that story again and probably will, but for my own sanity, I will go on and tell him more little stories about our children or about himself ...i have found that it is helpful in the sundown time, dinner and later, to talk to him about our day, what we did this morning, as he sure wouldn't remember - i describe how he used to be such a good skater, or whateve comes up in my mind about his past.....it keeps him grounded and seems to make him happy and less agitated less worrying about his mother dying, or where we are and in particular this feeling of loss that he seems to have at that time...and the feeling also of an anger that can't be explained.
He is happiest going to bed, i guess it is a "safe place" and that's where he is now, so time to join him, g'nite.
...As i've mentioned before he really does not remember his own family, or for that matter that he is married to me and that we have children..If I walk ahead of him and someone should get between us, he would easily follow that person. In terms of knowing where he is even in our apartment which is mostly one huge room, with nooks a hallway, bathroom and bedroom he can get lost...so as a kind of therapy not only for him but for myself as well i've been telling him the story of his children and how we had five children. Obviously i can tell him the same story over and over and he will repeat the same thing.."really i have five children, I must have been away from them...
/And so i start with our oldest - Leslie, show him a present day picture of Les, and say, see he looks like that now...then show him pictures of Les as a baby, other pics of les with his sisters..but they don't seem to interest him, until I include him in the story...
Just tonight - I said to him, how funny it was when you came to the hospital to see me after Les was born, you walked into my hospital room and kissed me and said, so how are you now. I said "well I'm so happy, you must be happy too, you got your wish"...My wish, what do you mean - i said, well you now have the baby boy you wished for. What!!!, the baby is born, and with a big smile and tears running down your face, you wanted to see baby Leslie right away...so we both went to the nursery and looked through the glass at our baby. you said, gee he's cute look he has black hair and looks like your dad... Then you said, I have to phone my family and let them know...well what a shock, when you phoned they all said, we know we called the hospital, she had a baby boy...how come you didn't call us before...seems the doctor told me later that he called but no answer, but you said - no way, but perhaps i was sleeping - anyway that's the story i tell him and we both laugh. Mac then looks at Leslie's picture and says really, it's strange, I'm sure I must been gone for awhile at that time...
and then surprise, Leslie phoned...and again Mac told him he was away a long time - and when les asked did you walk today...he asked me, yes I told him we went for a long walk from church at 12th ave, to our home at 32nd,...and that's how it goes, macs memory is now my memories of him, which he surely loves..
i can tell him that story again and probably will, but for my own sanity, I will go on and tell him more little stories about our children or about himself ...i have found that it is helpful in the sundown time, dinner and later, to talk to him about our day, what we did this morning, as he sure wouldn't remember - i describe how he used to be such a good skater, or whateve comes up in my mind about his past.....it keeps him grounded and seems to make him happy and less agitated less worrying about his mother dying, or where we are and in particular this feeling of loss that he seems to have at that time...and the feeling also of an anger that can't be explained.
He is happiest going to bed, i guess it is a "safe place" and that's where he is now, so time to join him, g'nite.
Friday 1 November 2013
Friday,November 1, 2013 Jan she's not here ....
"When you are old the wind is always in your face" picasso.....well i read that quote somewhere and have quoted it to Mac on so many occasions, as he can't stand the wind...but for sure he got more than a faceful today...although it was a warm wind it was vicious and almost tore our clothes off, pushed us and shoved us all along the path to the lake...That's right we headed for the lake as the Teapot place for seniors is there and that's where we were having our feet 'done" ..toenails, etc...all against Mac's wishes..but in the end he was happy with the results..and as we trooped along - again in the wind - planning to go to the pharmacy and then the IGA grocery store..Mac let out some really great lines..like 'this is a bugger, it's more than a bugger, its Christ jesus I don't know what it is, but it's the worst wind ever....
When we got to the pharmacy to pick up our meds we couldn't get in, the electricity was out and doors couldn't be opened...when we arrived at IGA, no problem, and so out of the wind, and picking up our groceries, i asked mac, to just stay with the cart near the frozen foods, while i raced back to the fish counter...just then, pow all the lights went out...so scuttling back in the dark, i grabbed his jacket and said, 'it's o.k. it's me'...lucky for me it was he ...ha..anyway, after about 15 - 20 min, the lights came on...people were frantic at first and mad as they were not allowed to leave ...understandably, they could take whatever and just go...but all turned out well...by then though we had enough - so we took a taxi the short distance home as we didn't want to battle with the wind plus groceries..
After discussing how good our feet felt after having foot massage, and all that stuff, with our daughter Gaye on the phone, she then spoke to mac, then I guess asked to speak to mom, he never knows who that is, and perhaps she said Jan, and I heard him say "jan- she's not here...she's out there or words to that effect. So I told Gaye, he really doesn't know me...as jan. or for that matter any name. But. sometimes I'm janet...back when he first met me, that is what he knew me as ..but sometimes janet doesn't register either...what does register then...as for sure he always wants ME,i think, is the feeling that is between us...he knows it's there, and as i said to the nurse one night...we're under the same skin...and we are..
I so often feel for him and wonder how he must feel, not knowing where his family are, not knowing who they are, where is his mother, how come I know she died, how come he does not know this...why does it happen that he can't remember things from 5 minutes ago...where are all the people that he sometimes see in this building...so often he will say before he goes to bed, "i guess all those other guys are gone eh?" i always say yes - they have gone to bed, so we should go too. he said that tonight as well, and I answered that way, and it's true, we should go to bed, and that's where i'm heading, to be with him because although he may not know me, i sure know him, g'nite...
When we got to the pharmacy to pick up our meds we couldn't get in, the electricity was out and doors couldn't be opened...when we arrived at IGA, no problem, and so out of the wind, and picking up our groceries, i asked mac, to just stay with the cart near the frozen foods, while i raced back to the fish counter...just then, pow all the lights went out...so scuttling back in the dark, i grabbed his jacket and said, 'it's o.k. it's me'...lucky for me it was he ...ha..anyway, after about 15 - 20 min, the lights came on...people were frantic at first and mad as they were not allowed to leave ...understandably, they could take whatever and just go...but all turned out well...by then though we had enough - so we took a taxi the short distance home as we didn't want to battle with the wind plus groceries..
After discussing how good our feet felt after having foot massage, and all that stuff, with our daughter Gaye on the phone, she then spoke to mac, then I guess asked to speak to mom, he never knows who that is, and perhaps she said Jan, and I heard him say "jan- she's not here...she's out there or words to that effect. So I told Gaye, he really doesn't know me...as jan. or for that matter any name. But. sometimes I'm janet...back when he first met me, that is what he knew me as ..but sometimes janet doesn't register either...what does register then...as for sure he always wants ME,i think, is the feeling that is between us...he knows it's there, and as i said to the nurse one night...we're under the same skin...and we are..
I so often feel for him and wonder how he must feel, not knowing where his family are, not knowing who they are, where is his mother, how come I know she died, how come he does not know this...why does it happen that he can't remember things from 5 minutes ago...where are all the people that he sometimes see in this building...so often he will say before he goes to bed, "i guess all those other guys are gone eh?" i always say yes - they have gone to bed, so we should go too. he said that tonight as well, and I answered that way, and it's true, we should go to bed, and that's where i'm heading, to be with him because although he may not know me, i sure know him, g'nite...
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