just thought there may be some others who would enjoy this as much as mac and i did.
Monday 31 December 2012
Monday, December 31, 2012 Same to you
The phone calls are coming and what are the messages...Happy New Year, and Mac's happy reply Same to you...one message by email he will watch - includes a train - from his good friend Bruce...this we will watch a couple of times..as trains mean so much to Mac, they provided our livelihood. So watching trains, hearing train whistles, and talking about trains has been good reminding him of his work at CN - although he did not actually run the trains, his input as an economist from when he first started as an office boy has been not only a source of $$$ but a wonderful hobby and memory of the 40 years he worked.
Today on CBC White coat Black Art....the announcer spoke about his wonderful connection after so many years of 'no connection' with his mom who had alzheimers. It seems that he was feeding her and a broadway song came on the radio..the song revived a memory and she spoke to her son. From then on he realized how much music could help him to reconnect and actually have a conversation with his mom..This is true for most people whether or not they have the big A...music not only soothes the soul it provides memories..we have had that experience all our lives ..and in our marriage music of all kinds particularly classical and jazz have played a large part of our happiness.
Today after hearing this man on the radio, we went out shopping with our daughter for groceries, coming home tired, and for mac it doesn't take much, winter boots and just getting bundled up - going in and out of the car...can do it. We had just reached home struggled out of the car, and as he was going up the front two steps ...boom he fell, luckily on his bum on the step, he was able to get up, Val and I helping. Again lucky, no pain, but of course exhausted..he lay on his great chair feet up head back and resting, classical music in the background..when on came a Strauss waltz...just joking, I said, hey want to dance...Mac answered quickly, "yes, but you'll have to lead"...Well he was serious, so I thought why not we'll just walk around to the music..but we were saved by the bell...the telephone bell; there was his daughter Glenna to say 'Happy New Year Dad"...Same to you, he replied...he was so happy - just lately he had been saying, people avoid me, no one calls me..they know I have this problem, and he seemed so sad. So today's music and phone calls have really helped...
So remember to phone your friends especially the shut in's and wish them A happy new year..as I'm now saying it to you - HAPPY NEW YEAR...and have a good night.
Today on CBC White coat Black Art....the announcer spoke about his wonderful connection after so many years of 'no connection' with his mom who had alzheimers. It seems that he was feeding her and a broadway song came on the radio..the song revived a memory and she spoke to her son. From then on he realized how much music could help him to reconnect and actually have a conversation with his mom..This is true for most people whether or not they have the big A...music not only soothes the soul it provides memories..we have had that experience all our lives ..and in our marriage music of all kinds particularly classical and jazz have played a large part of our happiness.
Today after hearing this man on the radio, we went out shopping with our daughter for groceries, coming home tired, and for mac it doesn't take much, winter boots and just getting bundled up - going in and out of the car...can do it. We had just reached home struggled out of the car, and as he was going up the front two steps ...boom he fell, luckily on his bum on the step, he was able to get up, Val and I helping. Again lucky, no pain, but of course exhausted..he lay on his great chair feet up head back and resting, classical music in the background..when on came a Strauss waltz...just joking, I said, hey want to dance...Mac answered quickly, "yes, but you'll have to lead"...Well he was serious, so I thought why not we'll just walk around to the music..but we were saved by the bell...the telephone bell; there was his daughter Glenna to say 'Happy New Year Dad"...Same to you, he replied...he was so happy - just lately he had been saying, people avoid me, no one calls me..they know I have this problem, and he seemed so sad. So today's music and phone calls have really helped...
So remember to phone your friends especially the shut in's and wish them A happy new year..as I'm now saying it to you - HAPPY NEW YEAR...and have a good night.
Friday 28 December 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012 Wait let me turn onto my knees....
Well it's after Christmas time to exchange stuff that doesn't fit and who are we to ignore tradition, so of course when Valerie wanted to know if we were up to going to Fairview mall to exchange stuff, well we were all for it. Didn't realize we'd be there all afternoon, but who cares Finley her mom Brianna and of course grandmom Valerie, Mac and I charged (ha) actually Mac and I stumbled through the crowds, got our stuff done, had a lunch in the food court...then we were on the crowded bumper to bumper traffic home.
by 7;00 p.m. or later we were finally getting ready to sit down to a little bit of supper. As i went to wash my hands in the washroom, I heard a loud bump...Ran into the kitchen to see Mac lying on the floor...he said, tried to pet the cat but kind of missed. Well did he ever, he didn't seem to be hurt anywhere so I tried to get him up...he said, wait let me turn onto my knees. This usually does the trick - it's his good way from skiing days..but tonight it didn't work..he pushed himself on his bum all around, tried to turn over, but it was impossible his arms are just to weak these days..by 7;40 p.m. i said that's it...by this time he had pushed himself into the dining room, but still we couldn't get him up. No no, said Mac don't call anyone, I said, sorry Drake (our neighbour) said he would be here to help if you ever fell, you have fallen so Drake is the man.
While I listened to Mac make the air turn blue, I phoned, and it was Drake to the rescue, he picked Mac up easily..Mac was delighted to explain that he was fine, just needed to get on his knees, but it didn't work this time. Drake was his pleasant self as he explained that the floor was a very slippery wood to try to get up from so not to worry, just be careful, and off to his home next door, went our rescuer.
So we had our light supper in the living room by the Christmas tree, listening to jazz, where Mac could sit in his great chair relaxed and happy knowing that this chair can get him practically up to standing position, while I sat opposite, breathing sighs of relief. The situation is getting to be more and more unsafe for Mac, and it's getting to be more and more sad for me...I won't go there tonight so I'll say my g'nite now
by 7;00 p.m. or later we were finally getting ready to sit down to a little bit of supper. As i went to wash my hands in the washroom, I heard a loud bump...Ran into the kitchen to see Mac lying on the floor...he said, tried to pet the cat but kind of missed. Well did he ever, he didn't seem to be hurt anywhere so I tried to get him up...he said, wait let me turn onto my knees. This usually does the trick - it's his good way from skiing days..but tonight it didn't work..he pushed himself on his bum all around, tried to turn over, but it was impossible his arms are just to weak these days..by 7;40 p.m. i said that's it...by this time he had pushed himself into the dining room, but still we couldn't get him up. No no, said Mac don't call anyone, I said, sorry Drake (our neighbour) said he would be here to help if you ever fell, you have fallen so Drake is the man.
While I listened to Mac make the air turn blue, I phoned, and it was Drake to the rescue, he picked Mac up easily..Mac was delighted to explain that he was fine, just needed to get on his knees, but it didn't work this time. Drake was his pleasant self as he explained that the floor was a very slippery wood to try to get up from so not to worry, just be careful, and off to his home next door, went our rescuer.
So we had our light supper in the living room by the Christmas tree, listening to jazz, where Mac could sit in his great chair relaxed and happy knowing that this chair can get him practically up to standing position, while I sat opposite, breathing sighs of relief. The situation is getting to be more and more unsafe for Mac, and it's getting to be more and more sad for me...I won't go there tonight so I'll say my g'nite now
Thursday 27 December 2012
Thursday, December 27,1220 How will we get back home...
After a busy and fun time with all the family - opening gifts, eating and eating, having some of the family talk to him Mac said quietly to me, exactly that - how will we get back home. In a way it was good, he realized he was not home...but then on the other hand when we are home he is not always sure where we are..but at least on Christmas he knew - this was not home. So eventually we did leave the party at our daughter Glenna's and finally he was happily in bed in his own home.
A lovely Christmas for both of us, with many gifts and such a pleasure to see all of our grandchildren - of course for Mac this is sometimes confusing, who are the grandchildren - who are the children - but still he knows baby Finley, she the great grandchild was in perfect form, and entertained us all with her charming little ways . Her complete happiness chuckling and laughing when her uncle Brandon lifts her up and tosses her in the air, kisses her neck, she gave us all such a good time, but soon it was her bedtime and we all sadly had to wave goodbye to the sweet little Christmas Angel.
Since Christmas it's been a good two days, and although we are snowed in for sure, we still or i still try to get Mac to walk, so it's walk around and look at all the snow, through every window in the house. Trying on his new clothes, watching a movie on t.v. and just sleeping, has taken up most of mac's day. We did talk about Christmases past, way past. The times when we would go by taxi with all the presents for his large family, he remembered that and we talked about the fun of seeing the lights on all the beautiful homes as we drove along. Then joining his 3 sisters that lived in montreal, their husbands, and their children...now his family are gone and so are mine, and we two orphans enjoyed talking about the past, now we two orphans have our own family..and he can hardly remember who they are as we are now so many....hey i said to mac look what we started.
While on this blog, we got a call from our old friend Owen, from down under....he spoke with Mac and the whole conversation was coherent, mac remembered him, so now we will discuss the visit we will have when Owen comes to stay with us in May or June. so on to memories about Owen. g'nite.
A lovely Christmas for both of us, with many gifts and such a pleasure to see all of our grandchildren - of course for Mac this is sometimes confusing, who are the grandchildren - who are the children - but still he knows baby Finley, she the great grandchild was in perfect form, and entertained us all with her charming little ways . Her complete happiness chuckling and laughing when her uncle Brandon lifts her up and tosses her in the air, kisses her neck, she gave us all such a good time, but soon it was her bedtime and we all sadly had to wave goodbye to the sweet little Christmas Angel.
Since Christmas it's been a good two days, and although we are snowed in for sure, we still or i still try to get Mac to walk, so it's walk around and look at all the snow, through every window in the house. Trying on his new clothes, watching a movie on t.v. and just sleeping, has taken up most of mac's day. We did talk about Christmases past, way past. The times when we would go by taxi with all the presents for his large family, he remembered that and we talked about the fun of seeing the lights on all the beautiful homes as we drove along. Then joining his 3 sisters that lived in montreal, their husbands, and their children...now his family are gone and so are mine, and we two orphans enjoyed talking about the past, now we two orphans have our own family..and he can hardly remember who they are as we are now so many....hey i said to mac look what we started.
While on this blog, we got a call from our old friend Owen, from down under....he spoke with Mac and the whole conversation was coherent, mac remembered him, so now we will discuss the visit we will have when Owen comes to stay with us in May or June. so on to memories about Owen. g'nite.
Monday 24 December 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012 Oh yes, tomorrow's christmas..is it?.
Yes I remind Mac, this is Christmas Eve...should we go to Church? .well do you want to? he replies, not if you don't want to go, I say. Then in the discussion I remember that A Christmas Carol with Alister Sim that old movie is on, we have always watched it in the past. And so that solved the problem of if we should go or not, it was so neat to hear Mac remember the name of Bob Cratchit, the poor clerk in Scrooge's office...and of course Tiny Tim..Must admit he slept through some of the movie, but for the most part enjoyed it, along with shortbread cookies and sherry...
Yesterday and today have been really good days, perhaps we've reached another plateau, although Satuday he woke up saying "Are we still together, what am I doing' i'm thinking we are not together , are we togther , of course we are I answer, oh good ooh good, I think you were dreaming i said...of course we're together he said. later in the day he was entirely confused and kept saying so, and the day was kind of slipping down to real depression for him, and then lucky for us Valerie Brianna Lorne and BABY FINLEY...came for dinner and saved the day.
So it's been uphill since then with singing of carols with the radio..Mac drying dishes after all the cooking i've been doing, we're preparing for a great feast at Glenna's tomorrow; one crabby walk yesterday and another today..he can't stand the cold but once we're home it's super and perhaps it's the walks that have him back on keel, what ever that means. Of course he does not know just who and where he is at all times, but he has trust in me as caregiver and wife?? and so is relaxed and content... Also our sweet neighbour Susanna came for tea and told him her sister thinks he's handsome, "and so i am" he told me later grinning from ear to ear.
So how contented is that... now he is off to sleep, I'll go and join him so g'nite...
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS US EVERYONE.
Yesterday and today have been really good days, perhaps we've reached another plateau, although Satuday he woke up saying "Are we still together, what am I doing' i'm thinking we are not together , are we togther , of course we are I answer, oh good ooh good, I think you were dreaming i said...of course we're together he said. later in the day he was entirely confused and kept saying so, and the day was kind of slipping down to real depression for him, and then lucky for us Valerie Brianna Lorne and BABY FINLEY...came for dinner and saved the day.
So it's been uphill since then with singing of carols with the radio..Mac drying dishes after all the cooking i've been doing, we're preparing for a great feast at Glenna's tomorrow; one crabby walk yesterday and another today..he can't stand the cold but once we're home it's super and perhaps it's the walks that have him back on keel, what ever that means. Of course he does not know just who and where he is at all times, but he has trust in me as caregiver and wife?? and so is relaxed and content... Also our sweet neighbour Susanna came for tea and told him her sister thinks he's handsome, "and so i am" he told me later grinning from ear to ear.
So how contented is that... now he is off to sleep, I'll go and join him so g'nite...
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS US EVERYONE.
Friday 21 December 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012 I just won't do it.
These past few weeks because of the weather and my knee being out of commission we haven't been going out for walks, just making short little walks to the store from the car, even walking in the mall is a problem, consequently Mac is sleeping much of the day away, and with the sleeping comes dreaming. Last evening when I woke him up for dinner, he came to the kitchen saying, 'i just won't do it" and from about 6:10 to about 7;00 p.m. i tried to get him to eat his dinner, but according to him it would be hurting someone, and he just could not do it. He said no it wouldn't be fair, and to be fair he could not eat his dinner.
As he sits or kind of lays on his super chair, he listens to the radio, and perhaps in his sleep he was listening to the news of the Native woman who is on a hunger strike, and the support she is getting, or whatever, but for sure the news had infiltrated his brain and to eat dinner was something he just could not do as he had to support someone whom he couldn't name. When I told him the story this morning he couldn't believe he did that, and today we were happily eating our breakfast, as well as a hearty lunch. So happy about that as we had our grandson, Jacob with us at lunch time and it was lovely that there was not a problem at all, just the usual problem of trying to get Mac to participate in our talk...but as he said later, he enjoys listening.
This dreaming business is part of the nightly problem as he yells, grunts squeals, turns and tosses all while he sleeps, so it is with a sigh of relief to say last night and today were both red letter days, no problems whatsoever...the only tiny problem to Mac, is that I don't have time to sit on his knee and cuddle - as i'm making Christmas plum puddings..wrapping gifts and writing cards.. he can't believe what i'm doing all this for, several times a day I have to tell him, Christmas is coming. We even do the christmas calendar business, where he has a chocolate each day as i have him pick out whatever date it is..hey think I'll get myself a calendar next year.
So on the whole his memory is certainly fading, but as he looks out the window he thinks he is in St. Henri, and so of course he loves to remenice and even though I tell him it's Chateauguay out there, he will still say guess there are no more McConnells, i wonder, he'll say if there are any mcconnells left here, i'd love to visit with them. Some days it hits harder than others' that he doesn't have his mom, brother or sisters. When we look at the pictures of his family, it helps, and he delights in trying to go through a whose who of his family..going back to his grandparents.
Another positive thing, the CLSC is helping so it looks like we'll have a few more hours of respite in the new year, and some more support for his bathing, walking sitting and standing, So living one day at a time, and not worrying about our various options i.e. placing mac, getting more help, etc...is easy to do on a day like today..here's to more days like this. so on that note, i'll say g'nite.
As he sits or kind of lays on his super chair, he listens to the radio, and perhaps in his sleep he was listening to the news of the Native woman who is on a hunger strike, and the support she is getting, or whatever, but for sure the news had infiltrated his brain and to eat dinner was something he just could not do as he had to support someone whom he couldn't name. When I told him the story this morning he couldn't believe he did that, and today we were happily eating our breakfast, as well as a hearty lunch. So happy about that as we had our grandson, Jacob with us at lunch time and it was lovely that there was not a problem at all, just the usual problem of trying to get Mac to participate in our talk...but as he said later, he enjoys listening.
This dreaming business is part of the nightly problem as he yells, grunts squeals, turns and tosses all while he sleeps, so it is with a sigh of relief to say last night and today were both red letter days, no problems whatsoever...the only tiny problem to Mac, is that I don't have time to sit on his knee and cuddle - as i'm making Christmas plum puddings..wrapping gifts and writing cards.. he can't believe what i'm doing all this for, several times a day I have to tell him, Christmas is coming. We even do the christmas calendar business, where he has a chocolate each day as i have him pick out whatever date it is..hey think I'll get myself a calendar next year.
So on the whole his memory is certainly fading, but as he looks out the window he thinks he is in St. Henri, and so of course he loves to remenice and even though I tell him it's Chateauguay out there, he will still say guess there are no more McConnells, i wonder, he'll say if there are any mcconnells left here, i'd love to visit with them. Some days it hits harder than others' that he doesn't have his mom, brother or sisters. When we look at the pictures of his family, it helps, and he delights in trying to go through a whose who of his family..going back to his grandparents.
Another positive thing, the CLSC is helping so it looks like we'll have a few more hours of respite in the new year, and some more support for his bathing, walking sitting and standing, So living one day at a time, and not worrying about our various options i.e. placing mac, getting more help, etc...is easy to do on a day like today..here's to more days like this. so on that note, i'll say g'nite.
Monday 17 December 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012 Have you seen Janet??
Tonight at supper we were discussing Christmas shopping, which I haven't been able to do, because of my knee, and because of Mac's balance or I should say non balance... In any case, while talking about how soon Christmas is going to be here; a week tomorrow, yikes, Mac very blithely said, have you seen mother, I mean Janet. So i put up my hand and said, here she is. "no not you, the other Janet" Well after much discussion on this subject, he said he realized he really meant his sister Janet. Well since he never had a sister called Janet, we launched into a conversation about his family. He said, I'm really amazed at how much you know about my family.."
Later in the evening watching the t.v. news re; the Ikea monkey, we were on and off talking about pets such as monkeys and snakes, Mac, remembered that his brother in law, Bill had a monkey, and that was a true, when he said that, although I personally never saw the monkey, I remember talk in the family about Bill's monkey and the various monkey escapades...So since he remembered the monkey I asked - so what's my name. Mac, said "I know you think you are Janet McConnell", well decided to leave that for later. He then added, I think you should know that tonight i'm feeling very confused.
Could be because he had the physio therapist here for his arm and shoulder problems- he finds they ache and he can't lift his arms ..of course when she was here he lifted his arms easily, said they were no problem, and that he was walking easily. The therapist, Danielle, had him go up and down stairs (absolutely no problem)..sit down - get up, walk around...and of course he did this with much glee and without any faltering...but she did realize his arms were not easily raised - and that he really did have a problem, although she said with all his resistance to having any help, she said it would be harder on me..she was thinking of giving me the exercise for arms but said, maybe later, he is so resistant she felt we would have friction about this so, no exercise.
While Mac talks a good talk, and walks a good walk, he really does have so many problems not the least of which is his eyes, he doesn't always see well, the stairs outside, getting into cars and out, walking anywhere in the snow, which we did yesterday practically gives me a heart attack watching him...this while going around the corner to a neighbour's afternoon tea party. Nights he is walking and talking but not out of bed but in bed while he sleeps peacefully, and I lie wide awake wondering what's going on there.
Sometimes as I write this blog it's like writing my diary and I kind of forget that people are reading this, so for those of you who do read this, if you have anyone in your life who is a caregiver for someone with alzheimers be sure to tell them how up and down it can be, they are not alone, there are so many of us going through this. todays "Liaison " magazine from the A. society reports that this is Alzheimer's Awareness month and that world wide Alzheimer's is on the rise and by 2030 the toll should reach 66 million. Hopefully by then there will be some light at the end of the research tunnel.
Alzheimer's disease is not to be hidden, everyone should know about it, and educating people about it improves the lives of people living with the disease..there is quality of life after the diagnosis, at least for a good while. And since i want to be there for Mac and help him to be less confused, I'll get off this computer, g'nite.
Later in the evening watching the t.v. news re; the Ikea monkey, we were on and off talking about pets such as monkeys and snakes, Mac, remembered that his brother in law, Bill had a monkey, and that was a true, when he said that, although I personally never saw the monkey, I remember talk in the family about Bill's monkey and the various monkey escapades...So since he remembered the monkey I asked - so what's my name. Mac, said "I know you think you are Janet McConnell", well decided to leave that for later. He then added, I think you should know that tonight i'm feeling very confused.
Could be because he had the physio therapist here for his arm and shoulder problems- he finds they ache and he can't lift his arms ..of course when she was here he lifted his arms easily, said they were no problem, and that he was walking easily. The therapist, Danielle, had him go up and down stairs (absolutely no problem)..sit down - get up, walk around...and of course he did this with much glee and without any faltering...but she did realize his arms were not easily raised - and that he really did have a problem, although she said with all his resistance to having any help, she said it would be harder on me..she was thinking of giving me the exercise for arms but said, maybe later, he is so resistant she felt we would have friction about this so, no exercise.
While Mac talks a good talk, and walks a good walk, he really does have so many problems not the least of which is his eyes, he doesn't always see well, the stairs outside, getting into cars and out, walking anywhere in the snow, which we did yesterday practically gives me a heart attack watching him...this while going around the corner to a neighbour's afternoon tea party. Nights he is walking and talking but not out of bed but in bed while he sleeps peacefully, and I lie wide awake wondering what's going on there.
Sometimes as I write this blog it's like writing my diary and I kind of forget that people are reading this, so for those of you who do read this, if you have anyone in your life who is a caregiver for someone with alzheimers be sure to tell them how up and down it can be, they are not alone, there are so many of us going through this. todays "Liaison " magazine from the A. society reports that this is Alzheimer's Awareness month and that world wide Alzheimer's is on the rise and by 2030 the toll should reach 66 million. Hopefully by then there will be some light at the end of the research tunnel.
Alzheimer's disease is not to be hidden, everyone should know about it, and educating people about it improves the lives of people living with the disease..there is quality of life after the diagnosis, at least for a good while. And since i want to be there for Mac and help him to be less confused, I'll get off this computer, g'nite.
Friday 14 December 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012 " We have to sit down and discuss.....
So a good day after a surprising day yesterday, the surprise being that the sore knee and leg I have been nursing and grumbling about turns out to be a torn miniscus...had a cortisone shot, and now if it doesn't heal, I will probably have to have surgery...Talk about taking care of the caregiver. Think I forgot about that, and tried to do too much by lifting Mac from chairs etc, without realizing the strain on my leg as i pull. BUT,
Today was a good day we went to the Seniors Christmas party, where we heard music that I could'nt dance to but enjoyed anyway, and mingled with friends and Mac had an admirer, a young woman who helps out at our club...She made Mac feel great by telling him how good looking he was and what fun to see him answering her and laughing..it just made our day, both his and mine. So when we got home I was quite surprised to hear him say...We have to sit down and discuss something.
What do you want to discuss, says unsuspecting me...how could i forget...MONEY ---Mac somehow got it in his head that maybe one of us has too much of a burden moneywise, and we have to sit down and discuss who is paying for what - how much, and is anyone not really kind of paying enough or what. This was said in about 15 different ways over a period of 30 minutes till i was losing it. Over and over i explained about his bank statement, and my bank statement, and we will sit down and see that it is all taken care of by authorized payment plans and we are quite fine.
I have just started to realize that so often when we feel that everyone in the conversation gets what we're talking about, this is not always so. Today, Les while driving us to the Barber for Mac's haircut, was talking about getting transfers of money for his customers, i.e. having to get to the bank. How people have to have $$$ for Christmas etc etc. plus the fact that we or I have to pay taxes for income not reported in past income tax forms...So guess that's been sifting around in his mind, well it sure not going to sift in my mind, these things will be taken care of but I WILL sit down and discuss with Mac, so he will not have any burdens to think about as that is his own word..burden...no one should have a burden especially not MAC..
There are enough burdens out there in the world, especially after the bad news re; a shooter in an elementary school today. We will appreciate our own lives and pray for those whose lives have ended in such a horror for their families and friends. Now it's time to lay our burdens down and go to sleep, so g'nite.
Today was a good day we went to the Seniors Christmas party, where we heard music that I could'nt dance to but enjoyed anyway, and mingled with friends and Mac had an admirer, a young woman who helps out at our club...She made Mac feel great by telling him how good looking he was and what fun to see him answering her and laughing..it just made our day, both his and mine. So when we got home I was quite surprised to hear him say...We have to sit down and discuss something.
What do you want to discuss, says unsuspecting me...how could i forget...MONEY ---Mac somehow got it in his head that maybe one of us has too much of a burden moneywise, and we have to sit down and discuss who is paying for what - how much, and is anyone not really kind of paying enough or what. This was said in about 15 different ways over a period of 30 minutes till i was losing it. Over and over i explained about his bank statement, and my bank statement, and we will sit down and see that it is all taken care of by authorized payment plans and we are quite fine.
I have just started to realize that so often when we feel that everyone in the conversation gets what we're talking about, this is not always so. Today, Les while driving us to the Barber for Mac's haircut, was talking about getting transfers of money for his customers, i.e. having to get to the bank. How people have to have $$$ for Christmas etc etc. plus the fact that we or I have to pay taxes for income not reported in past income tax forms...So guess that's been sifting around in his mind, well it sure not going to sift in my mind, these things will be taken care of but I WILL sit down and discuss with Mac, so he will not have any burdens to think about as that is his own word..burden...no one should have a burden especially not MAC..
There are enough burdens out there in the world, especially after the bad news re; a shooter in an elementary school today. We will appreciate our own lives and pray for those whose lives have ended in such a horror for their families and friends. Now it's time to lay our burdens down and go to sleep, so g'nite.
Wednesday 12 December 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012 You didn't tell me!!!!
A beautiful sunny morning, and a beautiful pleasant Mac, as the sun always makes him happy. We enjoyed a great breakfast, with lots of joking and pleasant conversation, especially about our Mischa who also was in a super good mood, purring and he too seemed to blossom into a pussy cat rather than a tiger with the sun rays coming through the window and on the patio where he also spends so much time. BUT, and there is always a but...today was dentist day...
And as the clouds rolled in we had to get to the dentist. Although I did mention to Mac that WE were going to the dentist..somehow he got the idea that this was just for ME. I blame myself entirely for the fact that when changing venues, or having anything different happening to Mac or any one with The Big A. it should be well explained, but in this case I was not thinking, and when the dental technician came to take him in for teeth cleaning, I should have gone in with him. All seemed to be fine, and I perused magazines and recipes quite happily, until i realized they were taking quite some time.
Brandon our grandson who was driving us had to be home shortly, so I started to wonder what's going on. When I checked it seems that the dentist had to take some time as his teeth and false teeth both had a problem, one a big cavity, and two his bridge was too loose and also needed a good cleaning as well. Well to cut to the chase, when he came out after one hour he was furious - with me - first i hadn't told him he had to be seen by the dentist, and second, he would definitely not pay a cent..then when i finished with the dentist the receptionist, said in a lovely loud voice, 'now how do you wish to pay for this Mrs McConnell, well that's when he lost it....The air turned blue with his swearing, and i was to blame and in a way i was, This will definitely be something to remember...of coure to me every 6 mos. dentist, it's a given. BuT for him well, of course not...
Not to mention when it comes to $$$ Mac is really insecure, and can't stand to spend a cent. So once home, he swore i would never take him for a ride like that again. Sad to say we have to have a ride like that again, but hopefully he will be well prepared. And hopefully this sad situation where he yelled you didn't tell me..will be forgotten, along with the clouds..and we'll have the sunshine again g'nite.
And as the clouds rolled in we had to get to the dentist. Although I did mention to Mac that WE were going to the dentist..somehow he got the idea that this was just for ME. I blame myself entirely for the fact that when changing venues, or having anything different happening to Mac or any one with The Big A. it should be well explained, but in this case I was not thinking, and when the dental technician came to take him in for teeth cleaning, I should have gone in with him. All seemed to be fine, and I perused magazines and recipes quite happily, until i realized they were taking quite some time.
Brandon our grandson who was driving us had to be home shortly, so I started to wonder what's going on. When I checked it seems that the dentist had to take some time as his teeth and false teeth both had a problem, one a big cavity, and two his bridge was too loose and also needed a good cleaning as well. Well to cut to the chase, when he came out after one hour he was furious - with me - first i hadn't told him he had to be seen by the dentist, and second, he would definitely not pay a cent..then when i finished with the dentist the receptionist, said in a lovely loud voice, 'now how do you wish to pay for this Mrs McConnell, well that's when he lost it....The air turned blue with his swearing, and i was to blame and in a way i was, This will definitely be something to remember...of coure to me every 6 mos. dentist, it's a given. BuT for him well, of course not...
Not to mention when it comes to $$$ Mac is really insecure, and can't stand to spend a cent. So once home, he swore i would never take him for a ride like that again. Sad to say we have to have a ride like that again, but hopefully he will be well prepared. And hopefully this sad situation where he yelled you didn't tell me..will be forgotten, along with the clouds..and we'll have the sunshine again g'nite.
Saturday 8 December 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012 Do you have proof??
Usually don't put anything on the blog Saturdays ...but today was rather a different one...in that, although Mac is not on target, he usually is easy, and pleasant, realizes he knows me most of the time, and though he always wants to know when we married and why we were apart, (his memory) he is usually quite amiable while making these comments. Today, he was absolutely exhausted, would not move off his chair, did not want to do anything but sleep ...and when i tried to get him to walk a bit around the house for exercise, he was not the least bit interested. So fnally by 1:00 got him to have a bite to eat, and I could see that he did not really know where and what was going on. For one thing, we had my grandson Brandon and his dad putting another grab bar for him to use near the stairs...which by the way is a godsend. Even Mac can see how helpful it is...but still he was not himself, or as near to himself as he has been these past few months.
Sooo I said, hey you know who i am, right, i'm Janet your wife...Well said Mac, have you got proof? I don't for a minute believe we are married..I was kind of surprised with this but then he usually says we were apart, but no, this time, it was not the case. I said, look we sleep together upstairs in our bedroom, and trying to make a joke, said, hey I don't just sleep with any man you know - just you, you are my husband...Well says Mac, that's news to me...This was all said with a kind of crabby face, and I am always told by the A. Assoc remember when these things happen, which in his case is rare, it is the disease...Well somehow i agree, but I think what may have triggered it is, having a man and my grandson in the house, both of whom he did not recognize and felt kind of out of it...who knows.
He is over it now, and realizes he is home, and now watching t.v., but it has been a rather stressful day, worrying about his walking his sore arms, and his attitude..maybe he feels the vibes from myself as .i have been thinking of what will happen, especially since I know that even here at home he is not entirely safe, we have stairs and he is progessively getting weaker..so perhaps his trust has lowered too. Also it's not just the stairs, if he should fall getting out of a chair, especially with me helping, i could never pick him up ...i have a friend who is going through this she has called 911 3 times now. have another friend who has placed her husband and is so distraught she has had a nervous breakdown...
I have been struggling with just when and how I will manage to do this i.e. place him or keep him here but with live in help....These are nagging problems, whiich usually recede into the background when we are together because, though he may not always know me, he is usually fun, jokes with me, and always for the most part hugging, me and loving, and today I almost felt completely alone, and knew for an afternoon, what it would be like with him not beside me...it's torture.
On a brighter note, had not just one christmas tree but two...i went out to get one while our Grandson and his dad were here, and then my daughter Valerie, showed up with a better one...yea. the lights are on the beautiful one and she will take mine, ha....then we sat and enjoyed for a couple of hours this evening..almost like old times, with Bing Crosby singing. with that good news i'll say g'nite.
Sooo I said, hey you know who i am, right, i'm Janet your wife...Well said Mac, have you got proof? I don't for a minute believe we are married..I was kind of surprised with this but then he usually says we were apart, but no, this time, it was not the case. I said, look we sleep together upstairs in our bedroom, and trying to make a joke, said, hey I don't just sleep with any man you know - just you, you are my husband...Well says Mac, that's news to me...This was all said with a kind of crabby face, and I am always told by the A. Assoc remember when these things happen, which in his case is rare, it is the disease...Well somehow i agree, but I think what may have triggered it is, having a man and my grandson in the house, both of whom he did not recognize and felt kind of out of it...who knows.
He is over it now, and realizes he is home, and now watching t.v., but it has been a rather stressful day, worrying about his walking his sore arms, and his attitude..maybe he feels the vibes from myself as .i have been thinking of what will happen, especially since I know that even here at home he is not entirely safe, we have stairs and he is progessively getting weaker..so perhaps his trust has lowered too. Also it's not just the stairs, if he should fall getting out of a chair, especially with me helping, i could never pick him up ...i have a friend who is going through this she has called 911 3 times now. have another friend who has placed her husband and is so distraught she has had a nervous breakdown...
I have been struggling with just when and how I will manage to do this i.e. place him or keep him here but with live in help....These are nagging problems, whiich usually recede into the background when we are together because, though he may not always know me, he is usually fun, jokes with me, and always for the most part hugging, me and loving, and today I almost felt completely alone, and knew for an afternoon, what it would be like with him not beside me...it's torture.
On a brighter note, had not just one christmas tree but two...i went out to get one while our Grandson and his dad were here, and then my daughter Valerie, showed up with a better one...yea. the lights are on the beautiful one and she will take mine, ha....then we sat and enjoyed for a couple of hours this evening..almost like old times, with Bing Crosby singing. with that good news i'll say g'nite.
Thursday 6 December 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012 Fa la la la la LA LA LA
Studies and anecdotal evidence points out that in many cases people with Alzheimers react very well to music stimulus... Certainly this applies to Mac, it is soothing for him to listen to smooth jazz, or classics and as well he loves to hear pop music from long ago and of course he is not so up on rap or the going type of music of today..but the Christmas favourite carols have always appealed and this is what's going on these days,
Today we went to a Retired Teacher's meeting where a wonderful tenor, and his accompaniest playing the piano led the teachers in song, as well the singer did a fabulous job of singing hallelujah, and other Christmas favourites, and then interspersed with these he would lead us all in the carol singing. I don't know if it was because this man who was quite a size, would bellow out the song, but beautifully, or what...but when it came time to sing Deck the halls, as we got to the end, where we all had to sing Fa la la la la...mac at the top of his lungs actually yelled the last LA LA LA... well he stood there quite composed while everyone turned and looked to see who did THAT!!! I managed to look like "well isn't that good - you liked singing that" thinking o.k. what was that about...but since he didn't refer to it, I just let it go..but when thinking about it, i couldn't help but giggle...how funny.
Later he remembered the morning and the singer, spoke about his girth, and how wonderful this man's voice was...he mentioned the piano player, who by the way is from our town of Chateauguay, Chris Epps, he is wonderful - and leads the Choir Chorale of mcGill, but all this to say what a surprise that Mac remembered the whole performance, and yet about ten minutes after discussing the songs, the wonderful voice etc. he turned to me and said, When do you think Janet will be home?...Well i put him in the know of who and when and where Janet is...then we went into...o.k. when did i marry you, and how come we were away from each other for so long...so of course had to explain about his memory loss.
This, of course is a bit or more than a bit sad for me, but I am concentrating on the positive aspects of the day and it's been a good one altogether, so with that in mind I'll say g'nite.
Today we went to a Retired Teacher's meeting where a wonderful tenor, and his accompaniest playing the piano led the teachers in song, as well the singer did a fabulous job of singing hallelujah, and other Christmas favourites, and then interspersed with these he would lead us all in the carol singing. I don't know if it was because this man who was quite a size, would bellow out the song, but beautifully, or what...but when it came time to sing Deck the halls, as we got to the end, where we all had to sing Fa la la la la...mac at the top of his lungs actually yelled the last LA LA LA... well he stood there quite composed while everyone turned and looked to see who did THAT!!! I managed to look like "well isn't that good - you liked singing that" thinking o.k. what was that about...but since he didn't refer to it, I just let it go..but when thinking about it, i couldn't help but giggle...how funny.
Later he remembered the morning and the singer, spoke about his girth, and how wonderful this man's voice was...he mentioned the piano player, who by the way is from our town of Chateauguay, Chris Epps, he is wonderful - and leads the Choir Chorale of mcGill, but all this to say what a surprise that Mac remembered the whole performance, and yet about ten minutes after discussing the songs, the wonderful voice etc. he turned to me and said, When do you think Janet will be home?...Well i put him in the know of who and when and where Janet is...then we went into...o.k. when did i marry you, and how come we were away from each other for so long...so of course had to explain about his memory loss.
This, of course is a bit or more than a bit sad for me, but I am concentrating on the positive aspects of the day and it's been a good one altogether, so with that in mind I'll say g'nite.
Tuesday 4 December 2012
Tuesday, December 4, 2012 Where were you?
One of the positive things about my life these days is my support system. This blog is mainly about Mac and his memories but to write about this sometimes it is very sad, or difficult, but having a good support system I can pull up my socks and try to do this with a brighter of better outlook. One of which is to actually try to live in the moment or live for today...easier said than done.
When I mention support - I think first about, my family, who are all so supportive in so many ways ...keeping up our usual celebrations, birthdays, christmas easter etc. as well as helping me in too many ways to mention but being there on a daily basis...then of course there are the relatives and friends ...again especially close friends who give advice because they have gone through the same scenarios, and there are of course friends who cannot face what they see, and this i can understand it's not easy and so though they care they are really there for ME, but not for seeing both of us, i.e. Mac and myself..but that's o.k. everyone has there own way of dealing with this.
On the other hand there is the support that is really important and that is the groups that one can join through the Alzheimer's Assoc. i am able to be in two groups, one of which stems from the original group i met last year...this consists of about five women and one man, we now are in touch and every month at least 4 or 5 get together at a restaurant or home to check out how each one is coping. The second is a group meets once amonth led by a wonderful moderator...as a follow up to the first group, in this group we are 5, and this is where i went today. Where i learned and heard much that helped. The most important being that each has their own way of dealing with A. sometimes the way they deal with a situation helps the next person. i.e. i have had a really sore leg, partly from helping Mac get up, i stand with one leg back and pull causing my weight to go on the leg plus his weight. Today i learned how to reach and put my left hand inside the top of the left side of his belt or pants and kind of lift him by his pants - tried it when i got home, it works!!!
I have been feeling overwhelmed at times with not getting enough sleep - as i'm up sometimes 6 to 8 x a night - wondering should I place mac, then i get so sad I can't stand the thought, today our Moderator pointed out that what is important is SAFETY. When one thinks that either the caregiver or the patient or person with A. can suffer so that for example if i'm not awake enough to help him or myself, that may cause a big problem then i should place mac. Well so far, that scenario is not the case I'm always on the ball and there for him, I can make up the sleep in the day, i have not done this, now I will... This relieves my mind as i now have a parameter that i will think of - i.e. when he is walking - sitting standing, do i have enough things in place to make sure he will be SAFE, and will i also be safe, as there is that to consider, what good is a caregiver who is not well. Anyway with all the points and support i received i came home to
Where were you? There was Mac as usual waiting for me and happy to see me, this in turn always makes me happy too. I told him where i was and what I learned, and although he may not get the complete gist of just what i mean, he is always receptive. One more little tip i learned from my own daughter Maureen, which worked for me, and I was able to pass the info on to another person in the group whose husband has the same problem...that is not able to swallow large pills.... ..when swallowing the pill with the water, turn your head, either to the right or the left as you swallow...sounds funny, but again it worked for Mac, and my little grandson, and I'm hoping it works for this person too.
So hopefully anyone who is reading this may be able to use or pass on the thoughts and points to others, the woman that leads the group said, as I was leaving, one thing you have brought to the group was not just the idea of how to take a pill, but how important it is to see LOVE in action...Well that surprised me, but i think it is in action in all the group, I just happen to wear my heart on my sleeve..or doing all we do for others be it our friends or our partner, definitely love helps, how sad it must be without love....show it - for sure...and that way it is returned...we all need it...so with love i'll say '- g'nite.
This
When I mention support - I think first about, my family, who are all so supportive in so many ways ...keeping up our usual celebrations, birthdays, christmas easter etc. as well as helping me in too many ways to mention but being there on a daily basis...then of course there are the relatives and friends ...again especially close friends who give advice because they have gone through the same scenarios, and there are of course friends who cannot face what they see, and this i can understand it's not easy and so though they care they are really there for ME, but not for seeing both of us, i.e. Mac and myself..but that's o.k. everyone has there own way of dealing with this.
On the other hand there is the support that is really important and that is the groups that one can join through the Alzheimer's Assoc. i am able to be in two groups, one of which stems from the original group i met last year...this consists of about five women and one man, we now are in touch and every month at least 4 or 5 get together at a restaurant or home to check out how each one is coping. The second is a group meets once amonth led by a wonderful moderator...as a follow up to the first group, in this group we are 5, and this is where i went today. Where i learned and heard much that helped. The most important being that each has their own way of dealing with A. sometimes the way they deal with a situation helps the next person. i.e. i have had a really sore leg, partly from helping Mac get up, i stand with one leg back and pull causing my weight to go on the leg plus his weight. Today i learned how to reach and put my left hand inside the top of the left side of his belt or pants and kind of lift him by his pants - tried it when i got home, it works!!!
I have been feeling overwhelmed at times with not getting enough sleep - as i'm up sometimes 6 to 8 x a night - wondering should I place mac, then i get so sad I can't stand the thought, today our Moderator pointed out that what is important is SAFETY. When one thinks that either the caregiver or the patient or person with A. can suffer so that for example if i'm not awake enough to help him or myself, that may cause a big problem then i should place mac. Well so far, that scenario is not the case I'm always on the ball and there for him, I can make up the sleep in the day, i have not done this, now I will... This relieves my mind as i now have a parameter that i will think of - i.e. when he is walking - sitting standing, do i have enough things in place to make sure he will be SAFE, and will i also be safe, as there is that to consider, what good is a caregiver who is not well. Anyway with all the points and support i received i came home to
Where were you? There was Mac as usual waiting for me and happy to see me, this in turn always makes me happy too. I told him where i was and what I learned, and although he may not get the complete gist of just what i mean, he is always receptive. One more little tip i learned from my own daughter Maureen, which worked for me, and I was able to pass the info on to another person in the group whose husband has the same problem...that is not able to swallow large pills.... ..when swallowing the pill with the water, turn your head, either to the right or the left as you swallow...sounds funny, but again it worked for Mac, and my little grandson, and I'm hoping it works for this person too.
So hopefully anyone who is reading this may be able to use or pass on the thoughts and points to others, the woman that leads the group said, as I was leaving, one thing you have brought to the group was not just the idea of how to take a pill, but how important it is to see LOVE in action...Well that surprised me, but i think it is in action in all the group, I just happen to wear my heart on my sleeve..or doing all we do for others be it our friends or our partner, definitely love helps, how sad it must be without love....show it - for sure...and that way it is returned...we all need it...so with love i'll say '- g'nite.
This
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