As usual when we walk, especially around dinner time, Mac wants to go through his life history, where is his mom, is she dead, and where is his bank account...then when i told him, he asked, 'how do you know...for one thing we're married i replied...He looked like someone shocked him completely, "we're not married, no way"...well we've gone through this scenario so often, but i managed to distract him direting his attentiion to looking out the window at the trees, and the breeze and changed the subject - we were walking around the building we're in, he didn't want to go out...too cold and windy he said, so o.k. we're trying to walk inside, as walking is the only solution i find to his sleepless nights, or i should also say mine, as he can go back to sleep after checking out the front room, or the windows, or whatever, in the morning around 3:00 a.m.(which he did last night) ..and then .i'm lying wide awake...
He is still a feisty guy and has lots of questions about all kinds of things, and still has a fun streak, but when i read something today...a quote from B.B. king, which was, " the beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you...well sorry B.B. but the darn A. disease can take so much learning away...which is tucked into our memories...
But. on an p side, we were at Mac's barber today, he has had the same barber for over 40 years now...they are great friends...Raymond was feeling a bit sad mac doesn't remember him and trying to make up for it, Raymond started talking about his family and how he retired from his barber shop in CN station, when suddenly Mac said, hey I kind of vaguely remember CN, and working there...when was that...well just a little thing like his saying that cheered both Raymond and myself...we launched into when and where he worked, but it soon all faded away...but we all manged to feel good, and enjoy the sun ...as we continued on with our day Raymond taking us on our way..he is so great he does Mac's hair in his basement barber shop, picks us up and brings us back...and as he did he remeniced about how mac used to be so on-target with politics and now with the elections going on in mtl. soon...he wished Mac could talk about that...but that's a thing of the past...
Yesterday, .Glenna managed to get him engaged and happy too by showing him his degree from Sir George and putting it up here in the apartment...he seemed to understand that...and enjoy the fact...so guess learning in different ways is
how we will continue our life, and the fun of just enjoying what's going on now is what is important...like listening to dear Ella, as right now he is tapping his foot to Mac the Knife..
today's quote by victor hugo says it all, "Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent.....g'nite
Wednesday 30 October 2013
Saturday 26 October 2013
Saturday, October 27, 2013 I have to press these buttons...
Haven't been doing too much walking these cold days and somehow i'm blaming that on our sleepless nights, or i should say my sleepless nights....Mac has been tossing and tuning, these nights, and also talking in his sleep...which is a kind of problem but wasn't too bad until a couple of nights and especially last night where he woke up and didn't know where he was, and was searching all over the place saying, i have to press these buttons...i tried to speak softly as i know when someone is sleep walking one is not supposed to be rough or loud...didn't matter....as he continued to walk around the room, and if i said anything, he would yell - 'shut up' yikes...i was trying to calm him and at the same time wondering...should i call the night nurse ...what would she do...she may be rough..who knows.. So these days I'm looking like a racoon with a black mask over my eyes - sleep ...wish i could...even in the days, he seems to need me to be wide awake, i try to lie down and he says...'are you sleeping ...does the cat need to be fed...the radio needs to be turned off...i guess he feels at loose ends if I'm not on-target. Anyway, i'm trying to remember what i said that calmed him down last night...as i don't want to have any more problems...or i want to have more sleep....that's the main thing ...
We've been out and about to different places which may be disconcerting for him, and he may feel anxiety which goes into his sleep pattern, but he doesn't want to stay home with anyone, insists on coming with me and then gets a bit jumpy and wanting to return home...oh well onward and upward..
he is still fine in the day and i want to keep the two of us together as long as possible, so will decide to get someone for him next time i have too many places to go in a day..that could be the problem also...who knows...must do that.
In the meantime there is always chocolate....so good afternoon....
We've been out and about to different places which may be disconcerting for him, and he may feel anxiety which goes into his sleep pattern, but he doesn't want to stay home with anyone, insists on coming with me and then gets a bit jumpy and wanting to return home...oh well onward and upward..
he is still fine in the day and i want to keep the two of us together as long as possible, so will decide to get someone for him next time i have too many places to go in a day..that could be the problem also...who knows...must do that.
In the meantime there is always chocolate....so good afternoon....
Wednesday 23 October 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013...how does it feel to be married to a......
As i have mentioned so many times when i think things are going so smoothly, they crash, and of course the opposite is true...when it gets really bad, all of a sudden things start to improve...or so it seems with this disease..but on thinking it over, it could also be a combination of things ... the outward effects of my behaviour, the behaviour of family, or friends, as well as weather can have a good amount of bearing as to Mac improving or going downhill, it's really hard to say.
For example today we were at our old house in Chateauguay, preparing the house to be sold, or we hope so anyway in the near future..Usually going up and down stairs there with Mac was almost causing me to have a heart attack. Today down to the basement, and up to the 3rd floor, no problem as long as he held on the railings...other times he can hardly step up a one inch level, so just as his physical behaviour fluctuates so does his mental level.
An example of how he looks at the situation he is in is, sometimes it seems that he is completely unaware, doesn't seem to pick up on when people are saying things about him, in front of him, like would your husband like to sit here or words like that - they behave as if he has completely lost his marbles - may whisper or act kind of fearful. So i wonder if he really is kind of aware, and just overlooks it , or as the other day he was going round and round about a usual subject, his pension, how do we, or he live without money, where does he get it etc. i could answer in depth or briefly, doesn't matter he will ask again as soon as the explanation is over...ending it with "oh i'm so glad you explained, now it makes sense", then he will start the process all over again...
Today he started another 'round ' as i call them to myself. 'how did i get here, when did you arrive here...etc etc. When I explain that we have been married for 61 years it boggles his mind so much that he doesn't believe it and roars with laughter..how come he will say i didn't know that...then I explained even further mentioning he has lost his memory...sort of like someone with amnesia, i say, you really have - NO MEMORY. So he accepted in a way, but then along came the same questions...along with the other 'round',..i think I saw my mother ...and so we were off on another usual tangent, so finally i kind of impatiently said, "look, we've gone over that scenario, let's leave it for now ..o.k. Then he said....o.k. by the way how does it feel to be married to a lunatic. That kind of blew my mind.. "i said stop that...you are not a lunatic, you are great - and live in the here and now, and try not worry about what happened in the past, talk about what's going on NOW. Right he said, because I'm kind of stupid...Again, this stopped me cold...and of course answered you are not....
So this evening I pointed to his university degree, and his picture of graduation and retirement photos and plaques, (Glenna felt these would bolster his self esteem and that I should bring them and put them up in our new apartment) I mentioned this and said i would do this as well as put mine up too....we would put them on the wall...absolutely no comment was forthcoming, he didn't seem to see the significance....yet when i put the book mark that i read to him every morning at breakfast back on the table --, it had fallen on the floor , i decided to read it to him tonight - he smiled and said 'is that true?'
this is what the bookmark says. You are Special - 'i can't stop thanking God for you. Ephesians 1;16
I said; of course - it's true.... o.k. if you say so, he replied... so he went to bed happily, and i'm here to say truer words were never spoken, so g'nite
For example today we were at our old house in Chateauguay, preparing the house to be sold, or we hope so anyway in the near future..Usually going up and down stairs there with Mac was almost causing me to have a heart attack. Today down to the basement, and up to the 3rd floor, no problem as long as he held on the railings...other times he can hardly step up a one inch level, so just as his physical behaviour fluctuates so does his mental level.
An example of how he looks at the situation he is in is, sometimes it seems that he is completely unaware, doesn't seem to pick up on when people are saying things about him, in front of him, like would your husband like to sit here or words like that - they behave as if he has completely lost his marbles - may whisper or act kind of fearful. So i wonder if he really is kind of aware, and just overlooks it , or as the other day he was going round and round about a usual subject, his pension, how do we, or he live without money, where does he get it etc. i could answer in depth or briefly, doesn't matter he will ask again as soon as the explanation is over...ending it with "oh i'm so glad you explained, now it makes sense", then he will start the process all over again...
Today he started another 'round ' as i call them to myself. 'how did i get here, when did you arrive here...etc etc. When I explain that we have been married for 61 years it boggles his mind so much that he doesn't believe it and roars with laughter..how come he will say i didn't know that...then I explained even further mentioning he has lost his memory...sort of like someone with amnesia, i say, you really have - NO MEMORY. So he accepted in a way, but then along came the same questions...along with the other 'round',..i think I saw my mother ...and so we were off on another usual tangent, so finally i kind of impatiently said, "look, we've gone over that scenario, let's leave it for now ..o.k. Then he said....o.k. by the way how does it feel to be married to a lunatic. That kind of blew my mind.. "i said stop that...you are not a lunatic, you are great - and live in the here and now, and try not worry about what happened in the past, talk about what's going on NOW. Right he said, because I'm kind of stupid...Again, this stopped me cold...and of course answered you are not....
So this evening I pointed to his university degree, and his picture of graduation and retirement photos and plaques, (Glenna felt these would bolster his self esteem and that I should bring them and put them up in our new apartment) I mentioned this and said i would do this as well as put mine up too....we would put them on the wall...absolutely no comment was forthcoming, he didn't seem to see the significance....yet when i put the book mark that i read to him every morning at breakfast back on the table --, it had fallen on the floor , i decided to read it to him tonight - he smiled and said 'is that true?'
this is what the bookmark says. You are Special - 'i can't stop thanking God for you. Ephesians 1;16
I said; of course - it's true.... o.k. if you say so, he replied... so he went to bed happily, and i'm here to say truer words were never spoken, so g'nite
Sunday 20 October 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013 o.k. let's just stay right here....
Weather and it's many manifestations, rain, wind, sun, snow etc...can really make or break our day...if it is cloudy and rainy, Mac who has a barometric personlity goes right along with the weather,,rain he is rainy and depressed, snow well that's not so bad.thankfully winter isn't here yet...but..as the sun is usually out and as long as we don't have too much wind we can still go for our daily walks...but today it was sunny but deceiving since we've been used to warm weather the cold wind really took us aback...so when suddenly the wind kind of stopped and the sun shone on us Mac said, let's just stay right here...and as we wallked along the wind would make the clouds go over the sun then away, and that was the theme over and over...each time the sun would shine on us it would be ' let's stay here...and he would give a little laugh.
WALKING in my books is still the best therapy - we've been getting reports lately that some have heard that Red wine is good to improve memory for Alzheimer's and of course there is the one we've been using for a few years now and that is coconut oil, and coconut..although i dont always stick to that - and haven't really any proof, i figure it can't hurt so i do cook with coconut milk if i can or coconut oil depending on the recipe...someone mentioned there will be no research on this to see if there is any proof as it won't give the pharmaceutical companies any $$$...perhaps the Coconut Companies can do research is that possible i wonder???
We attended the Alzheimer's Cafe last Tuesday, The speakers - from CLSC and the A. Assoc talked about how research in that field is now being directed to prevention...a little too late for Mac, but something to think about for the family or others who may have the big A in their family... The research is being done at McGill and through Hotel Dieu.hospital .with a Dr. Gauthier. The research also shows that only 5% of the people suffering from A have it because of heredity....but one of the speakers whose wife has A. spoke about how his two daughters and son were tested for the gene and are fine - they do not seem to carry the gene...this is when the woman who heads up the A. Assoc quoted the figure of 5%...interesting.
At this time they are looking for people from families with A. to do tis kind of work. i.e. testing for the gene and prevention..although i'm not exactly sure of how they will do prevention.
Mac was of course, really not paying too much attention, but one of the questions I directed to the woman from CLSC was how much training is required for the person who comes to do respite for care givers. She answered one year, sppaently if i have a person - which i do that is a friend doing this work, she can get the training through CLSC. Respite for the caregiver, who is usually wife or husband of the person with A. this is one of the most important points as many of the caregivers need care themselves if they do not take breaks...adding that the breaks should be for at least a week to ten days every six months or so. Baluchon Alzheimers is an organization to give respite, charging $15.00 a day. This was news to me and another surprising thing i learned was that the CLSC evaluation of the person with A. should be done every year..
I'm putting all this down for the record...also just checked with mac if he remembered what we did today...he thought and thought but when i said we went to hear a Baroque orchestra he said. yes that's right....did you like it???i asked, Yes, he said but no additional remarks, We also ate dinner in the dining room here with our two table companions Alice and Edith, ages 93 and 95 respectively...they did their usual kind of snide remarks to each other...but it's obvious that they would be lost if they did'nt have each other to talk to or talk about...and so it goes...Think it's time now to do some of the crossword puzzle with Mac, he gives me a word or two or confirms words that I pick, and then it's on to some t.v. and bed, so g'nite.
WALKING in my books is still the best therapy - we've been getting reports lately that some have heard that Red wine is good to improve memory for Alzheimer's and of course there is the one we've been using for a few years now and that is coconut oil, and coconut..although i dont always stick to that - and haven't really any proof, i figure it can't hurt so i do cook with coconut milk if i can or coconut oil depending on the recipe...someone mentioned there will be no research on this to see if there is any proof as it won't give the pharmaceutical companies any $$$...perhaps the Coconut Companies can do research is that possible i wonder???
We attended the Alzheimer's Cafe last Tuesday, The speakers - from CLSC and the A. Assoc talked about how research in that field is now being directed to prevention...a little too late for Mac, but something to think about for the family or others who may have the big A in their family... The research is being done at McGill and through Hotel Dieu.hospital .with a Dr. Gauthier. The research also shows that only 5% of the people suffering from A have it because of heredity....but one of the speakers whose wife has A. spoke about how his two daughters and son were tested for the gene and are fine - they do not seem to carry the gene...this is when the woman who heads up the A. Assoc quoted the figure of 5%...interesting.
At this time they are looking for people from families with A. to do tis kind of work. i.e. testing for the gene and prevention..although i'm not exactly sure of how they will do prevention.
Mac was of course, really not paying too much attention, but one of the questions I directed to the woman from CLSC was how much training is required for the person who comes to do respite for care givers. She answered one year, sppaently if i have a person - which i do that is a friend doing this work, she can get the training through CLSC. Respite for the caregiver, who is usually wife or husband of the person with A. this is one of the most important points as many of the caregivers need care themselves if they do not take breaks...adding that the breaks should be for at least a week to ten days every six months or so. Baluchon Alzheimers is an organization to give respite, charging $15.00 a day. This was news to me and another surprising thing i learned was that the CLSC evaluation of the person with A. should be done every year..
I'm putting all this down for the record...also just checked with mac if he remembered what we did today...he thought and thought but when i said we went to hear a Baroque orchestra he said. yes that's right....did you like it???i asked, Yes, he said but no additional remarks, We also ate dinner in the dining room here with our two table companions Alice and Edith, ages 93 and 95 respectively...they did their usual kind of snide remarks to each other...but it's obvious that they would be lost if they did'nt have each other to talk to or talk about...and so it goes...Think it's time now to do some of the crossword puzzle with Mac, he gives me a word or two or confirms words that I pick, and then it's on to some t.v. and bed, so g'nite.
Thursday 17 October 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013 I'm leaving this place....
So to add insult to injury the girl or prepose who was on duty this morning was the very one who he hates, along with her was a lovely new girl learning the job...and to top the whole scene of misery she said it was absolutely necessary that he have a shower...After his fall yesterday i warned them she must make sure he is holding on carefully to the hold bars in the bath etc...With much swearing and threats they did get him into the bath, but I stayed, made sure he was covered, told the girl, 'look he is not fooling, as she would kind of giggle every time he let out a stream of oaths..this is not fun for you for sure i said, but it is humiliating for him, he wants to do this himself, think if it was you ...well the second girl translated and so she tried to say please Mr. Mac, and was a little more careful....The final insult was when she washed between his toes...and it hurt...i said, o.k. look i will do that next time. Mac said, are you out of your mind..there will be no next time, I'm leaving this place.
I now realize how good the other preposays were, as he would be in and out of the shower, with very little complaint...and i also realize how difficult it is, as Mac's limbs are very stiff, plus he doesn't try to do any moves without much cajoling, and one has to show him where to put his hands - his feet, his derriere...while he is taking the whole thing as a game as he says..'it's a game here and I'm out of the game for sure'...so between feeling sorry for him, I have to feel sorry for the girls as well, as they are only trying to do their job..in the end he is exhausted and clean....he has now had his breakfast, and is sitting on his fave chair, sleeping..
I have to do the laundry, which is pretty heavy, and he usually helps me by bringing the bag for me across the hall to our laundry room...looks like that won't happen, i'll be dragging the bag myself ..but we'll see.. Hopefully, as the day progresses, and the sun tries to shine through the clouds, the same thing will happen and his good nature will come through, and we will be able to go to TheTeapot..seniors group...for the lunch they are giving today...
If nothing else, he will enjoy a clean body, lovely washed hair and beard...and i will enjoy seeing him looking so spruce...although sleeping - so think i'll try giving him a few pokes and see if he can bring the laundry with me...so onward and upward...it's not easy for him, or for me either, but it could be worse...just got an email to see if i would add my name to those already on a list to free some poor guy wrongly put in a Russian prison...Amnesty international...so you see its all in the perspective one takes..so g'day....
I now realize how good the other preposays were, as he would be in and out of the shower, with very little complaint...and i also realize how difficult it is, as Mac's limbs are very stiff, plus he doesn't try to do any moves without much cajoling, and one has to show him where to put his hands - his feet, his derriere...while he is taking the whole thing as a game as he says..'it's a game here and I'm out of the game for sure'...so between feeling sorry for him, I have to feel sorry for the girls as well, as they are only trying to do their job..in the end he is exhausted and clean....he has now had his breakfast, and is sitting on his fave chair, sleeping..
I have to do the laundry, which is pretty heavy, and he usually helps me by bringing the bag for me across the hall to our laundry room...looks like that won't happen, i'll be dragging the bag myself ..but we'll see.. Hopefully, as the day progresses, and the sun tries to shine through the clouds, the same thing will happen and his good nature will come through, and we will be able to go to TheTeapot..seniors group...for the lunch they are giving today...
If nothing else, he will enjoy a clean body, lovely washed hair and beard...and i will enjoy seeing him looking so spruce...although sleeping - so think i'll try giving him a few pokes and see if he can bring the laundry with me...so onward and upward...it's not easy for him, or for me either, but it could be worse...just got an email to see if i would add my name to those already on a list to free some poor guy wrongly put in a Russian prison...Amnesty international...so you see its all in the perspective one takes..so g'day....
Wednesday 16 October 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013....If somebody asked me....
The other day when we were walking in the sunshine, Mac turned to me - stopped - and said 'If somebody asked me, Do you kow where you are? I'd have to say, Christ no...I have no idea???All said with a quite a contented look on his face..I said, "Well you know you are in lachine, right?? ' Oh yeah? and then he was on to other thoughts and quite happy saying how everything was so lovely and warm, except they should clean up the mess..turns out the mess was leaves all over the sidewalk. I pointed out how beautiful the colors were, but then sometimes his perception of color is not on target or his for that matter perception of a mess i other times it's fine...so one never knows...
How aware is he of his problems?? sometimes so much so that he cries and realizes that he is in limbo and life is terrible...other times like this morning he was not going to put up with people who dress him, they are all Bimbos...and he will have to go away...or like the night before when he was absolutely livid, so furious that he was still holding his hands in fists after the woman got him ready for bed...saying he felt awful, (she was showing someone new how to do the job...) he was feeling humiliated and was near tears speaking through clenched tears, as he said, 'she stripped me naked in front of the girl" ...
So i stayed in the bathroom this morning and tonight when the preposay came - made sure he was partially covered at all times - but he also had a different girl, one who is really on the ball, kind and makes jokes, talks about her day and his day- this makes it all pleasant.
.the one he hates does it automatically cannot speak English, and seems to smile in inappropriate places - I also reported to the head nurse that he did not like her, but apparently they are very short staffed - also the Director is away, so tomorrow a.m. he will have the preposay that made him so upset back again.. I will definitely be there and will make sure he has me to talk to and the girl covers him when she is not washing that part of his body...just when one thinks everything is going so smoothly boom it all changes...
One of our neighbours from our old neighbourhood mentioned how well he is doing here, and I said - right, walks better, more on target most of the time, has fewer sundown problems, less aggravated, even though for sure all the time he is only in the moment and really is trying to make the best of the situation..and then i added he fell three times there but has never fallen here...well today it happened...he was walking into the front area from the hallway, and i was leading the way to the bedroom to put away my purse, when i heard bang..came into the front room to see him flat on his back...thankfully on a carpet so didn't seem to have hurt himself, and surprised me by turning on his side...I was able to get him to get on his knees and pull himself up using a chair i held for him.. Before we came here the only way he could get up was by calling the neighbour...who was able to lift him up..so maybe that's an improvement of sorts, but how he fell, is strange, right on his back, seems he lost his balance. Apparently this happens and may happen more and more...so must mention this to his doctor.
He got over feeling shaky, and seems to have forgotten already, but I must make sure to be behind him and near him - it gave me such a scare, but for mac he seemed to be more amazed that it happened at all...took the opportuity there to show him that he cannot stay in the apartment alone, as he was complaining about going to my study group with me, wanting to stay home by himself...well that's not going to happen for sure.
We were surprised to see that my friend's mom left her cane here, she has the big A. and came with my friend yesterday for a visit..i suggested he try out her cane, but no way, so i guess he will have to rely on the old cane or the old walker, both of which are embodied in the old reliable - ME...
So he is happily asleep, (i hope) so must check that out, as one never knows ...g'nite.
How aware is he of his problems?? sometimes so much so that he cries and realizes that he is in limbo and life is terrible...other times like this morning he was not going to put up with people who dress him, they are all Bimbos...and he will have to go away...or like the night before when he was absolutely livid, so furious that he was still holding his hands in fists after the woman got him ready for bed...saying he felt awful, (she was showing someone new how to do the job...) he was feeling humiliated and was near tears speaking through clenched tears, as he said, 'she stripped me naked in front of the girl" ...
So i stayed in the bathroom this morning and tonight when the preposay came - made sure he was partially covered at all times - but he also had a different girl, one who is really on the ball, kind and makes jokes, talks about her day and his day- this makes it all pleasant.
.the one he hates does it automatically cannot speak English, and seems to smile in inappropriate places - I also reported to the head nurse that he did not like her, but apparently they are very short staffed - also the Director is away, so tomorrow a.m. he will have the preposay that made him so upset back again.. I will definitely be there and will make sure he has me to talk to and the girl covers him when she is not washing that part of his body...just when one thinks everything is going so smoothly boom it all changes...
One of our neighbours from our old neighbourhood mentioned how well he is doing here, and I said - right, walks better, more on target most of the time, has fewer sundown problems, less aggravated, even though for sure all the time he is only in the moment and really is trying to make the best of the situation..and then i added he fell three times there but has never fallen here...well today it happened...he was walking into the front area from the hallway, and i was leading the way to the bedroom to put away my purse, when i heard bang..came into the front room to see him flat on his back...thankfully on a carpet so didn't seem to have hurt himself, and surprised me by turning on his side...I was able to get him to get on his knees and pull himself up using a chair i held for him.. Before we came here the only way he could get up was by calling the neighbour...who was able to lift him up..so maybe that's an improvement of sorts, but how he fell, is strange, right on his back, seems he lost his balance. Apparently this happens and may happen more and more...so must mention this to his doctor.
He got over feeling shaky, and seems to have forgotten already, but I must make sure to be behind him and near him - it gave me such a scare, but for mac he seemed to be more amazed that it happened at all...took the opportuity there to show him that he cannot stay in the apartment alone, as he was complaining about going to my study group with me, wanting to stay home by himself...well that's not going to happen for sure.
We were surprised to see that my friend's mom left her cane here, she has the big A. and came with my friend yesterday for a visit..i suggested he try out her cane, but no way, so i guess he will have to rely on the old cane or the old walker, both of which are embodied in the old reliable - ME...
So he is happily asleep, (i hope) so must check that out, as one never knows ...g'nite.
Friday 11 October 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013 Do you have a home ....
Thanksgiving weekend is coming up, and I do have so much to be thankful for, but does my sweet Mac...for one thing he asked me yesterday, "do you have a home?" Each day i realize just how much he is so so in the moment. He must think, who is that person with me, and where are we, and how do I get money to live, and do i have a home, does she have a home...anyway, that was the question...and so I answered it, 'yes WE have a home, we live together, we are married, and we're going to our home right now to have supper, but before we do we'll get our turkey, it's going to be Thanksgiving and a Birthday Celebration at Leslie's home.
So much information at once, kind of throws him, so he just concentrates on the turkey, and where will we get a turkey...We did do all those things, go for a super walk along the lake in this most unusual and warm fall weather..and as usual enjoy the scenery, the sunken boat, the little babies we see and a lovely surprise - when talking to a young woman with a little doberman pincher (sic)..found out that one of her four jobs is at Air Transat where she knows our young friend Kev, son of our dear friend maureen. She said she will be sure to tell him she met Jan and Mac...hope she does...as Maureen is not online and lives out west, and so hope Kev will be sure to tell her we're thinking of her, or I am...and so it goes...
A friend - another maureen, was shocked to know that Mac does not know where the bathroom is or anywhere else in this small apartment..as he is or seems to be so on target. She invited us for lunch last week, where our conversation included mac and he answered and spoke appropriately...able to offer fun suggestions to her other guest ( quite deaf like he is)..and so gave us all ,several good laughs.
So while he deceives others like our last night caller, dear Gail from Fla. (his neice) when he said - "of course I remember you" and possibly he does at the time...but she was right on one thing, he was pleased and overwhelmed with thanks for her sweet words which were how much she loved her dear uncle Sonny, and how his part in her life was so precious....but when he hung up the phone...he said 'now tell me - how do I know that lady..so there is no deceiving me as I repeated, that she loved him and had wonderful memories of him from St. Henri days...and so that helped and then we were off and running about family and of course his mother which can be so sad as he remembers she is no longer living, - at times i can move him into a situation where we remember her without too much sadness...
But sometimes the sadness not only overwhelms him but me, and i couldn't believe my own emotions when I tried to explain to the preposay today, to be slower with him - "say a few words to him and please don't be abrupt and a bit rough...(this one girl seems to make him nervous and saying he wants to move) - by the way had to try to explain this in French...she is Haitian..anyway, when I was trying to say it the tears started and she completely sympathized and when I showed her how many times I changed him as it wasn't a good night, she wanted to look at what I gave him for brekkie, so sweet, she said, give less fruit..and then gave me a big hug - causing me to have to leave the room, sympathy seems to send me over the edge....therefore, today even before thanksgiving day..i will concentrate on being Thankful, thankful that I still have my beloved Mac....g'day
So much information at once, kind of throws him, so he just concentrates on the turkey, and where will we get a turkey...We did do all those things, go for a super walk along the lake in this most unusual and warm fall weather..and as usual enjoy the scenery, the sunken boat, the little babies we see and a lovely surprise - when talking to a young woman with a little doberman pincher (sic)..found out that one of her four jobs is at Air Transat where she knows our young friend Kev, son of our dear friend maureen. She said she will be sure to tell him she met Jan and Mac...hope she does...as Maureen is not online and lives out west, and so hope Kev will be sure to tell her we're thinking of her, or I am...and so it goes...
A friend - another maureen, was shocked to know that Mac does not know where the bathroom is or anywhere else in this small apartment..as he is or seems to be so on target. She invited us for lunch last week, where our conversation included mac and he answered and spoke appropriately...able to offer fun suggestions to her other guest ( quite deaf like he is)..and so gave us all ,several good laughs.
So while he deceives others like our last night caller, dear Gail from Fla. (his neice) when he said - "of course I remember you" and possibly he does at the time...but she was right on one thing, he was pleased and overwhelmed with thanks for her sweet words which were how much she loved her dear uncle Sonny, and how his part in her life was so precious....but when he hung up the phone...he said 'now tell me - how do I know that lady..so there is no deceiving me as I repeated, that she loved him and had wonderful memories of him from St. Henri days...and so that helped and then we were off and running about family and of course his mother which can be so sad as he remembers she is no longer living, - at times i can move him into a situation where we remember her without too much sadness...
But sometimes the sadness not only overwhelms him but me, and i couldn't believe my own emotions when I tried to explain to the preposay today, to be slower with him - "say a few words to him and please don't be abrupt and a bit rough...(this one girl seems to make him nervous and saying he wants to move) - by the way had to try to explain this in French...she is Haitian..anyway, when I was trying to say it the tears started and she completely sympathized and when I showed her how many times I changed him as it wasn't a good night, she wanted to look at what I gave him for brekkie, so sweet, she said, give less fruit..and then gave me a big hug - causing me to have to leave the room, sympathy seems to send me over the edge....therefore, today even before thanksgiving day..i will concentrate on being Thankful, thankful that I still have my beloved Mac....g'day
Friday 4 October 2013
Friday, October 5, 2013 They are so good here...
They are so good here, says Mac as we walk out the door of our building...and they really are...he so loves to walk through our lobby, wave to all the people that he seems to know are somewhat like him. As well, the woman at the front desk, where we sign in and out...always asks..'how are you today..Captain or Mr mac...or Blue Eyes...depending on her mood... And Mac always has either two thumbs up - or says, how am I...who knows.. i don't know...or I'm 100 %, and then her comeback, that's great..I love your blue eyes, or You are the greatest, o r you are # 1...or you make my day....
How can he not feel good in this place, as she as well as the others take great pleasure in waving - talking or just giving us beautiful smiles...I always have a heart filled with gratitude for their caring ways, especially as so many cannot go out ...or even if they do not have the big A are handicappied in some way that makes walking any distance difficult...i could give so many examples of their caring - sometimes teasing - sometimes so helpful, and always there for us...even to the extent of one of he residents phoning me to see if i'd like her packages of jam she didn't eat at breakfast, or her cookies for Mac...bringing us extra sugar pkgs for mac's coffee (he needs 4 or 5 pkgs in his coffee)...i find this so sweet as we only eat in the dining room about once a week. The jokes our table mate age 95 said tonight as i was bringing a chair for mac...hey she said, here Mac, sit on my thumb...- he is so comfortable with them...asking how they are, laughing as they laugh and loving the serving girl as she tells him McConnell, that's a great name, Irish and Scottish...i bet...she is Darlene and a darling ....so can you imagine this
our neighbour along the hall, said to me ' if someone asked you how you liked living here - what would your answer be'...Well of course no problem, i answered, i'd say i like it very much...Mac - what do you think, he said..'I like living here, theyre good here'...her answer she said..was..maybe some people like it, I do not...the apartment ..(her's is like mine) ...is too hot, or too cold...my food is never brought to me the right temperature or right time...people are not all there mentally....i do not mingle with them, although some are nice...Actually i almost feel we're in two different buildings.. BUT, she HAD to be moved here, she is physically suffering in many ways, has had cancer of the skin, a broken neck, bad digestion, can only eat meat....suffers from depession ...walks with a wheel chair so she can sit down....no one phones her, she has - she says, very few friends...So it's all in the beholder - no matter where one lives...health, attitude to life, and of course friends make all the difference.
So when we say goodnight to our friend down in the transition area..we are always so pleased for her, she can't move must have someone lift her in and out of bed in a contraption that makes her wheelchair a bit of a pain, she cannot put her feet on foot rests ...she cannot handle a book or a pencil or magazine...can hold the phone between her neck and shoulder and hand, she can press button on t.v. remote...and pick up with difficulty cookies etc...she cannot go to the bathroom ...waits always for someone to change her...BUT in her case a son visits almost every day...her brothers have visited her..(she is 85) they are older..and younger...her daughters live far away, but phone her every second day...Why the difference...She is caring always for others...a happy smile....gratitude for whatever people can do for her...and she quietly fumes for sure, but it's quietly...and then she tries to change things she can change, like how long she has to wait to be changed, or have food remains on a tray taken away..etc.
Well i'm sure we all know that old saying....laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone..but it's true...so as the saying these days goes...Suck it in...yuck - don't like that saying..but it works, and we are both trying to live the saying so that we get our share of laughs...when we sometimes have to laugh so we won't cry.....g'nite...
How can he not feel good in this place, as she as well as the others take great pleasure in waving - talking or just giving us beautiful smiles...I always have a heart filled with gratitude for their caring ways, especially as so many cannot go out ...or even if they do not have the big A are handicappied in some way that makes walking any distance difficult...i could give so many examples of their caring - sometimes teasing - sometimes so helpful, and always there for us...even to the extent of one of he residents phoning me to see if i'd like her packages of jam she didn't eat at breakfast, or her cookies for Mac...bringing us extra sugar pkgs for mac's coffee (he needs 4 or 5 pkgs in his coffee)...i find this so sweet as we only eat in the dining room about once a week. The jokes our table mate age 95 said tonight as i was bringing a chair for mac...hey she said, here Mac, sit on my thumb...- he is so comfortable with them...asking how they are, laughing as they laugh and loving the serving girl as she tells him McConnell, that's a great name, Irish and Scottish...i bet...she is Darlene and a darling ....so can you imagine this
our neighbour along the hall, said to me ' if someone asked you how you liked living here - what would your answer be'...Well of course no problem, i answered, i'd say i like it very much...Mac - what do you think, he said..'I like living here, theyre good here'...her answer she said..was..maybe some people like it, I do not...the apartment ..(her's is like mine) ...is too hot, or too cold...my food is never brought to me the right temperature or right time...people are not all there mentally....i do not mingle with them, although some are nice...Actually i almost feel we're in two different buildings.. BUT, she HAD to be moved here, she is physically suffering in many ways, has had cancer of the skin, a broken neck, bad digestion, can only eat meat....suffers from depession ...walks with a wheel chair so she can sit down....no one phones her, she has - she says, very few friends...So it's all in the beholder - no matter where one lives...health, attitude to life, and of course friends make all the difference.
So when we say goodnight to our friend down in the transition area..we are always so pleased for her, she can't move must have someone lift her in and out of bed in a contraption that makes her wheelchair a bit of a pain, she cannot put her feet on foot rests ...she cannot handle a book or a pencil or magazine...can hold the phone between her neck and shoulder and hand, she can press button on t.v. remote...and pick up with difficulty cookies etc...she cannot go to the bathroom ...waits always for someone to change her...BUT in her case a son visits almost every day...her brothers have visited her..(she is 85) they are older..and younger...her daughters live far away, but phone her every second day...Why the difference...She is caring always for others...a happy smile....gratitude for whatever people can do for her...and she quietly fumes for sure, but it's quietly...and then she tries to change things she can change, like how long she has to wait to be changed, or have food remains on a tray taken away..etc.
Well i'm sure we all know that old saying....laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone..but it's true...so as the saying these days goes...Suck it in...yuck - don't like that saying..but it works, and we are both trying to live the saying so that we get our share of laughs...when we sometimes have to laugh so we won't cry.....g'nite...
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