Beautiful days of walking, talking, and remembering the past. BUT, it is getting clearer to me that mac is really not remembering very much these days...He is so quiet when we are out with others and unless something springs into his mind he hardly says boo. Today at Sandbags...one of our friends who i think may have the starting of Alzheimers was so happy to see Mac. His wife tells me that he only goes to sandbags - (by the way if i haven't mentioned sandbags before, it is a game we play at the Seniors Club on Fridays in the Fall and Winter.) Anyway, this man only wants to go to play sandbags if Mac is there, and sad to say Mac just sits and watches the game hardly answers anyone's comments. Of course too, he is now very hard of hearing which with others talking around and a man calling out the bingo stuff, it surely doesn't help. In any case number one he doesn't remember well, and two. he is much quieter than ever, and I can see he is weaker and walking slower....
Thus I called and put our names into anothr seniors place - the waiting lists are 2 to 3 years in these places, which suits me as i'm not keen to move at all. We visited our friends Wednesday - at their residence,it is a beautiful - high rise - in Montreal, and really state of the art...but again I really do not want to move to that type of residence, my thoughts are more into near our river in Chateauguay, and NOT a high rise..elevators are not my fave things.
Then my daughter Valerie has offered to have us move near her in her 31/2 room apt. but I'd have to let her know by Dec...well that's really too soon. So i've talked to Mac, and of course he does not want to move at all, he loves our home, as do i...sooo much to think about...
But in the meantime, life goes on and we will live it day by day and moment by moment. so this is the moment to say g'nite.
Friday 28 September 2012
Thursday 27 September 2012
Thursday, September 27,2012 Caregivers and stress
Have been thinking about stress, and just how many times I've been told to look after myself, how important that is. Well that is so true, but in our case the person who wishes me to look after myself and take care is my own caregiver.....Mac. He makes sure I rest, tells me to relax, makes sure he gives me lots of loving, and when he does lose it as at times he does, he apologizes and tries so hard to make up for it..
I'm not sure how other caregivers feel, and if they have noticed that the person they look after is often the one who seems to be giving the care. of course not in terms of the work in the home... I know that in our home except for very simple jobs I do everything. Simple jobs - for example today - had Mac help put away the groceries - at this point he mixes up - fridge with cupboards, or stove so I give him the article - point him in the right direction, then make sure he looks up - i.e. top of fridge - freezer, down top shelf of fridge this all takes more time than doing it myself, but I love the look of satisfaction Mac has when he and I are finished and we enjoy doing it together. Same thing applies to doing the dishes - or hanging up or putting away laundry, feeding the cat.
Now I'm trying to find good t.v. programs, as the news just doesn't do it really, unless it's about a murder of a child... Children are the most important news items for Mac.
Just tonight I tried to explain how Jason kenney minister of immigration is labelling refugees as non- contributing immigrants and denying them medicare..when his dept was asked to make a statement, they ignore the media, no reply.....this is so terrible. I had mac with me as I tried to compose an email to this sleezey minister of a sleezy government...in the past this would have been Mac's forte...but he , now of just does not get it...oh well..but if he hears of a child being hurt, molested or put down in any way, he can talk very earnestly and seriously about this...anyway, all this to say...i'm looking for good stories, and good programs - any ideas out there, anyone???
The caregiver is tired and so is the wife of the caregiver, so g'nite.
I'm not sure how other caregivers feel, and if they have noticed that the person they look after is often the one who seems to be giving the care. of course not in terms of the work in the home... I know that in our home except for very simple jobs I do everything. Simple jobs - for example today - had Mac help put away the groceries - at this point he mixes up - fridge with cupboards, or stove so I give him the article - point him in the right direction, then make sure he looks up - i.e. top of fridge - freezer, down top shelf of fridge this all takes more time than doing it myself, but I love the look of satisfaction Mac has when he and I are finished and we enjoy doing it together. Same thing applies to doing the dishes - or hanging up or putting away laundry, feeding the cat.
Now I'm trying to find good t.v. programs, as the news just doesn't do it really, unless it's about a murder of a child... Children are the most important news items for Mac.
Just tonight I tried to explain how Jason kenney minister of immigration is labelling refugees as non- contributing immigrants and denying them medicare..when his dept was asked to make a statement, they ignore the media, no reply.....this is so terrible. I had mac with me as I tried to compose an email to this sleezey minister of a sleezy government...in the past this would have been Mac's forte...but he , now of just does not get it...oh well..but if he hears of a child being hurt, molested or put down in any way, he can talk very earnestly and seriously about this...anyway, all this to say...i'm looking for good stories, and good programs - any ideas out there, anyone???
The caregiver is tired and so is the wife of the caregiver, so g'nite.
Wednesday 26 September 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012 What do we do now
Tonight's blog will be a short one, as we've had a good but tiring day...Visited anther couple, the man has also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.. apparently his meds have kicked in and he is doing very well, this we could see as soon as we arrived at their home. He had been taciturn, a very irritable man, and not social in most cases, the change was obvious, as he smiled and said, 'hi mac, hi jan. what a lovely reception and happily Mac responded in the same way. Actually most people we've been with always say the same thing. Mac seems to be doing very well, he responds well, and understands everything we say.
Well I'm not sure about our friend, but in Mac's case, he responds to kindness, and friendly overtures and will seem to understand most comments...but in most cases he does not really know who he is talking to, but is friendly never the less. Even when I say we are going to see whoever, in about 10 minutes he has forgotten just who it is we are talking to..and in cases of places, where it is we are going. He has hearing problems and speech problems, the hearing loss is helped when he wears a hearing aid, but really it bothers him, plus his condition acerbates the the hearing loss, also his speech he forgets just how the words should go at times.
We had a couple of friends here this evening, she is losing her hearing, and is bearing up, but as she said to mac who was struggling to say a word. Well we've got to make do with the cards we've been dealt, and I guess it could be worse. They both kind of laughed, and so it goes, we find the fun where we can, and the pleasures may be small but we appreciate them. Mac appreciates so much' and by his love of all the little things, the wonderful sun that shone through the clouds on our walk, the fact that it waited to rain till we got back...the warmth enough that we could sit outside...well with that in mind now it's time to appreciate our bed...so g'nite.
Well I'm not sure about our friend, but in Mac's case, he responds to kindness, and friendly overtures and will seem to understand most comments...but in most cases he does not really know who he is talking to, but is friendly never the less. Even when I say we are going to see whoever, in about 10 minutes he has forgotten just who it is we are talking to..and in cases of places, where it is we are going. He has hearing problems and speech problems, the hearing loss is helped when he wears a hearing aid, but really it bothers him, plus his condition acerbates the the hearing loss, also his speech he forgets just how the words should go at times.
We had a couple of friends here this evening, she is losing her hearing, and is bearing up, but as she said to mac who was struggling to say a word. Well we've got to make do with the cards we've been dealt, and I guess it could be worse. They both kind of laughed, and so it goes, we find the fun where we can, and the pleasures may be small but we appreciate them. Mac appreciates so much' and by his love of all the little things, the wonderful sun that shone through the clouds on our walk, the fact that it waited to rain till we got back...the warmth enough that we could sit outside...well with that in mind now it's time to appreciate our bed...so g'nite.
Tuesday 25 September 2012
Tuesday, September 25,2012...Are we the only ones here
My day away, and Mac stayed with our Care giver from the A. assoc. Helen...she did her usual magic - making Mac feel great, he went for two walks, helped with the dishes, had snacks and lunch plus helped?? her with crossword puzzles and jigsaw puzzles. This is always such a good day for the two of us.
But while we were eating our supper, he said, 'are we the only ones here'...well yes, i replied..we used to have our family - where are they, he asked...'married and on their own with their own chidren..hmm said Mac.. I was starting to feel nervous that he would lapse into his down time as he had one of the sadder times last night, after i did my blog. He felt sad, decided he was useless, couldn't remember anything, and kept saying how confused he was...in fact our night or mine was awful, he fell going to the toilet..had a hard time to get up, and so after that i told him i'm going to be your cane, - he always forgets to take the cane which is perched beside him by his bed...So with my going back and forth to the john, showing my nervous state, and his usual 3x per night, our sleep was the pits.
Well have checked out some ideas, one of which is a kind of bottle or bedpan for men, never heard about this, but my friend tells me it's perfect can be used without getting out of bed...and then hung up on a chair or something..definitely going to look into this...sounds awful i know, but for those who have problems of this nature they may get some ideas from my putting this online.
Anyway, that was all last night. Tonight we are on target, and we've been folding clothes from the wash, and all is well, though he thinks our house is too big, no one is here but us two and the cat. and he feels kind of lost, and where are his kids, but the news is now grabbing his interest, and i'm going to join him..so g'nite.
But while we were eating our supper, he said, 'are we the only ones here'...well yes, i replied..we used to have our family - where are they, he asked...'married and on their own with their own chidren..hmm said Mac.. I was starting to feel nervous that he would lapse into his down time as he had one of the sadder times last night, after i did my blog. He felt sad, decided he was useless, couldn't remember anything, and kept saying how confused he was...in fact our night or mine was awful, he fell going to the toilet..had a hard time to get up, and so after that i told him i'm going to be your cane, - he always forgets to take the cane which is perched beside him by his bed...So with my going back and forth to the john, showing my nervous state, and his usual 3x per night, our sleep was the pits.
Well have checked out some ideas, one of which is a kind of bottle or bedpan for men, never heard about this, but my friend tells me it's perfect can be used without getting out of bed...and then hung up on a chair or something..definitely going to look into this...sounds awful i know, but for those who have problems of this nature they may get some ideas from my putting this online.
Anyway, that was all last night. Tonight we are on target, and we've been folding clothes from the wash, and all is well, though he thinks our house is too big, no one is here but us two and the cat. and he feels kind of lost, and where are his kids, but the news is now grabbing his interest, and i'm going to join him..so g'nite.
Monday 24 September 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012 So you are my wife....
It's been a busy weekend, and Mac's memory goes back and forth, especially in the morning he goes forth, and in the evening, he kind of goes back. On Saturday we attended a memorial for a friend who had died, usually mac does not go to Church and also does not sing hymns, or for that matter songs on his own but
mac and i sing every day and one of the games we play for his mind is i sing a song he finishes the line, like lucky in .... mac will say love ...etc. music is and always has been a big big connection for us...but he kind of distanced himself from hymns and church, , so even at funerals he would never bother to sing hymns even if he knew them. Saturday , he sang out with all of us, - how great thou art, i walk in the garden alone, and what a friend we have in jesus, ..the 3 chosen by the family of our friend who died, ...she had lived with alzheimers for 8 yrs.
Today he was on target for our walk which was really a long one along both sides of the river, so not surprisingly he was tired and maybe not so on target this evening....and he said...so you are my wife...he had to go over and over that thought...and then said but she doesn't have that sweater. true. i bought a new sweater, so it kind of threw him off, but he soon got over that. one thing he is so caring, and then said , you know if it wasn't for you i'd be in an institution, i cannot look after myself, you are wonderful...so on that note, who cares if he knows i'm his wife or not....hey i'm his girlfriend..and his wife, not exactly true, but i do care about his thoughts and i wish he knew for sure that i am his wife , but i'm still lucky to have him and he appreciates and feels lucky to have me...g'nite.
mac and i sing every day and one of the games we play for his mind is i sing a song he finishes the line, like lucky in .... mac will say love ...etc. music is and always has been a big big connection for us...but he kind of distanced himself from hymns and church, , so even at funerals he would never bother to sing hymns even if he knew them. Saturday , he sang out with all of us, - how great thou art, i walk in the garden alone, and what a friend we have in jesus, ..the 3 chosen by the family of our friend who died, ...she had lived with alzheimers for 8 yrs.
Today he was on target for our walk which was really a long one along both sides of the river, so not surprisingly he was tired and maybe not so on target this evening....and he said...so you are my wife...he had to go over and over that thought...and then said but she doesn't have that sweater. true. i bought a new sweater, so it kind of threw him off, but he soon got over that. one thing he is so caring, and then said , you know if it wasn't for you i'd be in an institution, i cannot look after myself, you are wonderful...so on that note, who cares if he knows i'm his wife or not....hey i'm his girlfriend..and his wife, not exactly true, but i do care about his thoughts and i wish he knew for sure that i am his wife , but i'm still lucky to have him and he appreciates and feels lucky to have me...g'nite.
Friday 21 September 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012, I Just Remembered Something...
We've had a very good day, walked all over as usual. A very important place on our walk was the BANK, Mac as well as many others with alzheimer's is almost obsessive about wanting to know about his bank account, his bank statement, his pension, his wallet, his change etc etc..believe me, there is more, but to my way of thinking it's important as they have so much they do not remember, and so much that is insecure, it is important to know that they have a safety net...money. Second important thing to Mac is the key to our house, and this is always such a problem as we seem to leave our keys lose our keys or lend them...I can't believe that at this moment, we have two sets of keys at two different homes, that is homes of our daughters, and not at our home. Yesterday, using a spare set, we managed or i managed to leave them on the seat of our friend's car...lucky we found them on the way home. So it's not surprising that he has a bit of a thing about keys.
Naturally I'm always happy when he remembers important things like money, and keys, as in when we go out he'll say, have you got the keys, have you got enough money....but I'll leave you with the happy item he remembered today...I was lying on the sofa reading my book, and Mac said "listen i have to tell you something important...'....i sat up and gave him my full attention, i love it when he remembers...so i said, "oh what's up"...he said ".I just remembered something....I don't think I kissed you this afternoon.'...
Well how important is that...and I'm so glad he remembered....g'nite
Naturally I'm always happy when he remembers important things like money, and keys, as in when we go out he'll say, have you got the keys, have you got enough money....but I'll leave you with the happy item he remembered today...I was lying on the sofa reading my book, and Mac said "listen i have to tell you something important...'....i sat up and gave him my full attention, i love it when he remembers...so i said, "oh what's up"...he said ".I just remembered something....I don't think I kissed you this afternoon.'...
Well how important is that...and I'm so glad he remembered....g'nite
Thursday 20 September 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012 Who lives here besides us....
Today a beautiful day, perfect weather, and a great excursion with the cecn that is Chateauguay English Community Network, out for lunch at a brasserie in the boonies, or I should say out towards the Ormstown area. The bus ride with neighbours and friends from Chateauguay - the lunch,at St. Ambroise Abby ... the chocolatier - think in St. Remi, the apple picking at Macmillans, and last but not least the bakerie in Ormstown ?? all was fun and interesting, and best of all Mac enjoyed the whole day..although...
At breakfast he said, "by the way, where did I meet you, and when??" Well I gave the usual answer, we met at Pine Beach in Dorval many years ago, "no no" he said, "I mean just recently, say about 5 or 6 days ago it was i'm sure that I met you" I said, o.k. that's good you met me...Mac answered, "yes it's wonderful", I said, well actually you did meet me many years ago, but you've lost that memory", "yes, yes' said mac, I know that, and that's whiy it's good that I met you AGAIN...it's great. ' Oh yes, and who lives here besides just you and I, - like I mean besides us..' 'Well it's just you and I, although our family, our kids and grandkids come to visit" ' who are they, said Mac - So i started to enumerate, and he said, no no, - what about that man Les McConnell, does he live here sometimes..Well he is our son - and he is a financial planner, he comes to visit us and then we sometimes talk finances...'oh no said Mac, are you telling me he is my son, or your son"...Then as I attempted to say he is "our son"...the cat started to meow to go out...good thing, we needed a distraction.
Some distraction, as when he did get out he managed to get away still tied to the spike that is usually in the grass...just as we were trying to get away ourselves..but after a 5 min search....All's well that ends well, I found the spike and followed the line behind some bushes and there was Mischa, the brat cat just in time, as our friend and neighbour Susanna was at the door to whisk us off to our lovely day.
Tonight we have another little problem which hopefully will be solved before bed, the bank statement arrived, and Mac was perusing it before watching t.v., I just went down to get it ...and it's gone,,,fun and games, gnite
At breakfast he said, "by the way, where did I meet you, and when??" Well I gave the usual answer, we met at Pine Beach in Dorval many years ago, "no no" he said, "I mean just recently, say about 5 or 6 days ago it was i'm sure that I met you" I said, o.k. that's good you met me...Mac answered, "yes it's wonderful", I said, well actually you did meet me many years ago, but you've lost that memory", "yes, yes' said mac, I know that, and that's whiy it's good that I met you AGAIN...it's great. ' Oh yes, and who lives here besides just you and I, - like I mean besides us..' 'Well it's just you and I, although our family, our kids and grandkids come to visit" ' who are they, said Mac - So i started to enumerate, and he said, no no, - what about that man Les McConnell, does he live here sometimes..Well he is our son - and he is a financial planner, he comes to visit us and then we sometimes talk finances...'oh no said Mac, are you telling me he is my son, or your son"...Then as I attempted to say he is "our son"...the cat started to meow to go out...good thing, we needed a distraction.
Some distraction, as when he did get out he managed to get away still tied to the spike that is usually in the grass...just as we were trying to get away ourselves..but after a 5 min search....All's well that ends well, I found the spike and followed the line behind some bushes and there was Mischa, the brat cat just in time, as our friend and neighbour Susanna was at the door to whisk us off to our lovely day.
Tonight we have another little problem which hopefully will be solved before bed, the bank statement arrived, and Mac was perusing it before watching t.v., I just went down to get it ...and it's gone,,,fun and games, gnite
Wednesday 19 September 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012 - What is the Deal?
After such an interesting day yesterday, one would think that some of it may have stuck in Mac's memory, but no, when we arrived back home - me so satisfied with the day, that I kind of sailed along thinking it was so recent that Mac would remember at least some or even part of the day, so when we were in bed chatting before we closed our eyes...I said well wasn't that a fun day, answer from Mac, 'in what way?" So i prceeded to explain just what we did, he said, "beats me I don't remember all that" Well good thing I do as we will definitely attend another Alzheimer's Cafe...
Today on the other hand, after enjoying my day out with The Grandmothers of Westhill, we did our usual - followed the sun on our walk, this is what Mac enjoys, there's the sun, let's walk over there, hey it's over there let's get over there, and so we did...realizing, hey the times they are achanging, and so is the weather, time to put on our jackets, and think about fall. The one good thing is we walk faster so perhaps it's better for us..After we arrived home, Mac suggested we talk about the deal...well this took me by surprise...he said 'what's the deal?..
'The Deal, I said, what deal are we talking about...This led to a kind of convoluted talk about papers and newspaper stories and finally i said are we talking about moving, buying stuff ...what? After about fifteen minutes of our voices getting louder and our thinking going around in circles. I said are you talking about looking in the paper and thinking of moving to Retirement Residences, and if they are a good deal. ' he said well - partly, but then there are the papers...Well finally, don't know why it didn't click before as this is Mac's favourite topic...his pension, will it cover a good deal if we move to an apartment...and do we each have a pension, where did i get my pension from, and would we use his pension or my pension. and so on...The papers he is talking about are his bank statements.
When we finally settled down, I said o.k. should we get your bank statements and look them over...well of course not, not now, maybe tomorrow....it's no problem i said we can get mine and yours and we will see just how much we spend. 'What, we spend??... I don't spend anything "says Mac. I think it would be good i said for you to look at your bank statements and see how much we spend on this house and how much you have left, and so on...'...I'll go and get them o.k.
'No, I'm watching t.v., but maybe tomorrow if we have time'...Well stay tuned, tomorrow is another day, thankfully, but the song may be over, but the melody will linger on....darn.. oh well...g'nite.
Today on the other hand, after enjoying my day out with The Grandmothers of Westhill, we did our usual - followed the sun on our walk, this is what Mac enjoys, there's the sun, let's walk over there, hey it's over there let's get over there, and so we did...realizing, hey the times they are achanging, and so is the weather, time to put on our jackets, and think about fall. The one good thing is we walk faster so perhaps it's better for us..After we arrived home, Mac suggested we talk about the deal...well this took me by surprise...he said 'what's the deal?..
'The Deal, I said, what deal are we talking about...This led to a kind of convoluted talk about papers and newspaper stories and finally i said are we talking about moving, buying stuff ...what? After about fifteen minutes of our voices getting louder and our thinking going around in circles. I said are you talking about looking in the paper and thinking of moving to Retirement Residences, and if they are a good deal. ' he said well - partly, but then there are the papers...Well finally, don't know why it didn't click before as this is Mac's favourite topic...his pension, will it cover a good deal if we move to an apartment...and do we each have a pension, where did i get my pension from, and would we use his pension or my pension. and so on...The papers he is talking about are his bank statements.
When we finally settled down, I said o.k. should we get your bank statements and look them over...well of course not, not now, maybe tomorrow....it's no problem i said we can get mine and yours and we will see just how much we spend. 'What, we spend??... I don't spend anything "says Mac. I think it would be good i said for you to look at your bank statements and see how much we spend on this house and how much you have left, and so on...'...I'll go and get them o.k.
'No, I'm watching t.v., but maybe tomorrow if we have time'...Well stay tuned, tomorrow is another day, thankfully, but the song may be over, but the melody will linger on....darn.. oh well...g'nite.
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012 My assessment is "Very Good"
Today we attended the Alzheimer's Cafe at the Atwater library, it was pouring rain, so there we were - mac and I - with our dripping umbrella's, and curious minds. We were pleased to see a person playing a keyboard - the music was lovely, and the ambiance too. There was a huge fruit plate, lovely little sandwiches, juice and water...and more important friendly friendly people. Everyone sat around tables talking to their neighbour, and generally waiting for the speaker. I could not tell who were the people with the big A. and who were the caregivers...and I guess that was the same for most of us - but I was most anxious for Mac to meet and speak with someone who had Alzheimers, but of course couldn't do that right away..
The speaker was introduced at 1;30 p.m. her name was Theresa Anuza, m.a. cognitive psychology and coordinator of educational services for the Alzheimer society..she was at one time a caregiver and spoke knowingly from both points of view, the caregiver's and the person who has A. Although, she said so much that made sense and much that probably most of us knew and she confirmed, the one thing that stayed with me as so so true was 'the person with Alzheimers has lost their memory, but has NOT lost their intelligence'. That we should talk about it, learn about it, exchange experiences with this disease, live with it and feel comfortable, and through this process, focus on the life rather than on the illness. Another important point she stressed was never never never never never argue with the person with A. YOU WILL NOT WIN... So far, I have not had this experience, mac generally agrees with me..and even in the most outlandish area, i.e. his $$$ his pension etc, I agree with him..importnt was to keep up the quality of life as much as possible.
The man sitting next to me, told me his wife was too far gone, she would be put in a hospital room as soon as possible, he was completely drained and needed more than respite days. Then in a break time, a woman and man were near us at the food table, introducing ourselves, it turned out the man had A. he and mac shook hands and made comments such as....hmmm so you have that dread disease too ..mac saying well hmmm yes...My advisor at McGill was there - Margie Golick, she said she was there to learn more about the disease - she was impressed with the way the speaker said that Alzheimer's has been a hush hush word and that it HAD to come out in the open..as every 5 minutes a new person has been diagnosed with this disease and it is now growing in epidemic proportions.
Later Mac spoke to another man with A. and the two had a great conversation, I did not listen in, but was speaking to another friend of mine who was there, without her husband who has parkinsons and alzheimers apparently there is definitly a demetia factor included with parkinsons that is similar. We learned that there will be a speaker at the next session on ' driving and Alzheimers' mac has not driven a car in 5 or 6 yrs, as his meds were too strong .. but apparently some people insist on driving, we'll see what they have to say about that. When we were filling in the form that asked us our opinion, Mac said 'my assessment is that we should put VERY GOOD...So that was so terrific... This is a first and I'm hoping not the last time we can meet others and that Mac will feel the same way.. Thanks to the Alzheimer's association and the many volunteers that were there today. look forward to the 3rd Tuesday of each month...mac's watching t.v. but waiting for me..so g'nite.
The speaker was introduced at 1;30 p.m. her name was Theresa Anuza, m.a. cognitive psychology and coordinator of educational services for the Alzheimer society..she was at one time a caregiver and spoke knowingly from both points of view, the caregiver's and the person who has A. Although, she said so much that made sense and much that probably most of us knew and she confirmed, the one thing that stayed with me as so so true was 'the person with Alzheimers has lost their memory, but has NOT lost their intelligence'. That we should talk about it, learn about it, exchange experiences with this disease, live with it and feel comfortable, and through this process, focus on the life rather than on the illness. Another important point she stressed was never never never never never argue with the person with A. YOU WILL NOT WIN... So far, I have not had this experience, mac generally agrees with me..and even in the most outlandish area, i.e. his $$$ his pension etc, I agree with him..importnt was to keep up the quality of life as much as possible.
The man sitting next to me, told me his wife was too far gone, she would be put in a hospital room as soon as possible, he was completely drained and needed more than respite days. Then in a break time, a woman and man were near us at the food table, introducing ourselves, it turned out the man had A. he and mac shook hands and made comments such as....hmmm so you have that dread disease too ..mac saying well hmmm yes...My advisor at McGill was there - Margie Golick, she said she was there to learn more about the disease - she was impressed with the way the speaker said that Alzheimer's has been a hush hush word and that it HAD to come out in the open..as every 5 minutes a new person has been diagnosed with this disease and it is now growing in epidemic proportions.
Later Mac spoke to another man with A. and the two had a great conversation, I did not listen in, but was speaking to another friend of mine who was there, without her husband who has parkinsons and alzheimers apparently there is definitly a demetia factor included with parkinsons that is similar. We learned that there will be a speaker at the next session on ' driving and Alzheimers' mac has not driven a car in 5 or 6 yrs, as his meds were too strong .. but apparently some people insist on driving, we'll see what they have to say about that. When we were filling in the form that asked us our opinion, Mac said 'my assessment is that we should put VERY GOOD...So that was so terrific... This is a first and I'm hoping not the last time we can meet others and that Mac will feel the same way.. Thanks to the Alzheimer's association and the many volunteers that were there today. look forward to the 3rd Tuesday of each month...mac's watching t.v. but waiting for me..so g'nite.
Monday 17 September 2012
here is the info re; Alzheimer's Cafe
Alzheimer Café at Atwater Library Starts Tomorrow Afternoon
A café is an informal and inclusive setting. An Alzheimer Café is a meeting space for all members of the community, including those living with memory loss, their relatives and caregivers. Dutch Psychologist Dr. Bère Miesen initiated the Alzheimer Café in 1997 and the model has been successfully emulated throughout western Europe. Canada's first Alzeimer Café started in Nova Scotia last year.The Atwater Library is partnering with the Montreal Alzheimer Society to start an Alzheimer Café for Montrealers in the Library's elegant Reading Room. We will be giving talks, distributing information but most importantly enjoying each other’s company. Here are the times of the first three sessions:
- TOMORROW (TUESDAY, September 18) from 1:00 to 3:00 pm - This is the week of World Alzheimer Day for which the theme is "Dementia: Living Together".
- TUESDAY, October 16 from 1:00 to 3:00 pm
- TUESDAY, November 20 from 1:00 to 3:00 pm
Monday, September 17, 2012 We're lucky - we have our health
As we walked our usual walk along the river we did a game we do occasionally which is I sing a title of a song, and Mac finishes it for me. Well I sort of got stuck on the titles of 'lucky' as in 'lucky lucky - mac finishes with Me....then Lucky in ....Mac finished with love and then on to other lucky songs..one of our favourites is When you walk when you talk with the one you love, do you know just how lucky you ....and mac finishes with ARE....he can't remember my newest fave..lucky song but in any case...he said...We are lucky because we have our HEALTH...
And we are, this would seem rather ironic..and it is, but although he is not always walking well, once we get going, he walks so well, and as long as there are no stairs, he is fine..but I love that he feels healthy, and thinks positive. I'm hoping that this positive attitude will stay tomorrow, as we are going to a meeting of people with Alzheimers caretakers and family. He really does not want to go, but it is called a Alzheimer Cafe, where people will hear a speaker and mingle with others.
This Alzheimer' Cafe is a first,in Quebec anyway, and will take place from one to three pm tomorrow at the Atwater library i do not have the invitation with me at the moment but will cut and paste in after this blog..in case anyone out there would like to go.
I'm hoping this is something we can attend together and enjoy.as it will be on every 3rd Tues of the month.....We will also go to musical afternoon's at the Museum in the winter and that is usually something Mac likes but sittng for 2 hours ...well we'll see ...anyway, will get back about tomorrow's new endeavour.
And we are, this would seem rather ironic..and it is, but although he is not always walking well, once we get going, he walks so well, and as long as there are no stairs, he is fine..but I love that he feels healthy, and thinks positive. I'm hoping that this positive attitude will stay tomorrow, as we are going to a meeting of people with Alzheimers caretakers and family. He really does not want to go, but it is called a Alzheimer Cafe, where people will hear a speaker and mingle with others.
This Alzheimer' Cafe is a first,in Quebec anyway, and will take place from one to three pm tomorrow at the Atwater library i do not have the invitation with me at the moment but will cut and paste in after this blog..in case anyone out there would like to go.
I'm hoping this is something we can attend together and enjoy.as it will be on every 3rd Tues of the month.....We will also go to musical afternoon's at the Museum in the winter and that is usually something Mac likes but sittng for 2 hours ...well we'll see ...anyway, will get back about tomorrow's new endeavour.
Friday 14 September 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012... What is it I have, again?
Fairly good day, and as usual the same questions, such as, where is my bank statement, is that what it is, why do i have it, how does the money get there. BUT, interesting Mac remembered today that he woke up during the night as I was getting in bed - he thought I was someone else, and so he got up to check that his wallet was there..today he laughed about it and said, isn't it funny that I didn't realize it was you...I thought you were some boy. That was so on target, I said, wow you remember you did that last night, that's right, you were so anxious to check your wallet, but you didn't tell me you thought I was a boy..no - i realized quite soon, when you hugged me - hey that's no boy...then we both laughted...
It is so good that we can laugh about these things together, and tonight we took another little walk, only just around the block. met one of our neighbours who was telling us about the wonderful rooms they have at the Champlain for her friend who is now staying there...the people are caring etc etc. I said, well Mac has alheimers and has had it for at least 6 or 7 years now, but he doesn't have to go anywhere - he's doing o.k. here at home. She looked surprised when i mentioned it - but I think it's something that we BOTH have to face...After we left he said - what is it I have again? I told him Alheimers...well he kind of said, isn't that where the memory is all gone... i said well it is memory loss, - tell me said mac ...when does that effect me?
i said...like when you can't remember where the bathroom is, when you can't remembe if we have had our dinner....when you forget where our house is...don't remember the phone number...This may seem harsh, but I want him to face facts so that when we go to the Doc. he will accept that he must see the doctor and discuss the best treatment and how he can perhaps get more help...meet others like himself and generally not try to hide the fact from himself. it surely is no fun to go through this, not for him or myself, but one of the things caregivers must learn is to share their feelings well, i like to share them with my best friend, and that is Mac...g'nite, will be back next week.
It is so good that we can laugh about these things together, and tonight we took another little walk, only just around the block. met one of our neighbours who was telling us about the wonderful rooms they have at the Champlain for her friend who is now staying there...the people are caring etc etc. I said, well Mac has alheimers and has had it for at least 6 or 7 years now, but he doesn't have to go anywhere - he's doing o.k. here at home. She looked surprised when i mentioned it - but I think it's something that we BOTH have to face...After we left he said - what is it I have again? I told him Alheimers...well he kind of said, isn't that where the memory is all gone... i said well it is memory loss, - tell me said mac ...when does that effect me?
i said...like when you can't remember where the bathroom is, when you can't remembe if we have had our dinner....when you forget where our house is...don't remember the phone number...This may seem harsh, but I want him to face facts so that when we go to the Doc. he will accept that he must see the doctor and discuss the best treatment and how he can perhaps get more help...meet others like himself and generally not try to hide the fact from himself. it surely is no fun to go through this, not for him or myself, but one of the things caregivers must learn is to share their feelings well, i like to share them with my best friend, and that is Mac...g'nite, will be back next week.
Thursday 13 September 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012 Where will I sleep tonight?
Another beautiful day, another walk along the river and another odd question. This while we are sitting looking out over beautiful sparkling water. I noticed Mac had his furrowed brow look, so said what are you thinking of...i'm thinking - perhaps how did the water get so sparkly - but no.. "I'm just wondering", says mac," where will I sleep tonight?" This is the question he asked a few days ago and again yesterday, and now today..Don't know what goes on in his mind. But thankfully he did not get weepy, but after I answered quickly, "you will sleep in our bed, in our bedroom at home, on montcalm street"...he settled down to enjoying the view and the 6 geese that came along.
Two things that made us or maybe just me, HAPPY - but Mac agreed, were the six geese that passed by, it used to be just three as some kids had stoned three of the six killing them ...then this year, one of the three had three babies, yea, now there are six again..
.the other thing is, the huge huge old old tree that the city chopped down and made me cry, is coming to life...they have cut it in such a way that it is a bench..and it has responded with growth of green leafy branches all around..will try to get my grandaughter to take a picture and get it on the blog...
All in all a fairly good day, and although Mac asked one hour after supper if we'd had our supper yet, most of today he was on target, and content, so that makes two of us...g'nite
Two things that made us or maybe just me, HAPPY - but Mac agreed, were the six geese that passed by, it used to be just three as some kids had stoned three of the six killing them ...then this year, one of the three had three babies, yea, now there are six again..
.the other thing is, the huge huge old old tree that the city chopped down and made me cry, is coming to life...they have cut it in such a way that it is a bench..and it has responded with growth of green leafy branches all around..will try to get my grandaughter to take a picture and get it on the blog...
All in all a fairly good day, and although Mac asked one hour after supper if we'd had our supper yet, most of today he was on target, and content, so that makes two of us...g'nite
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Wednesday, September 12, 2012 A poem i wrote one day last year
MEMORY LOSS
He is there inside
I hear his voice
It is his mouth
These are his words
It is his body
But is he there
He knows I’m me
And I know it IS he
We laugh, we sing, but
It is not really WE.
I am there inside
He hears my voice
It is my mouth
These are my words
It is my body
And I am there
But does he know it’s me
We cuddle we love
But we’re not really WE
it was his mouth it was my mouth,
it was his body it was my body
We laughed, we cuddled, we sang, we loved
When he was he and I was me.
And we were WE
Don't be too sad when you read this as I am up and down and that was a down day...we are we but we are WE in a new kind of life. Today was a good day, we babysat..our love, Finley. g'nite.
Tuesday 11 September 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012 Keeping positive when thinking negative.
Today our support group, at least four that is of us met for a lunch and a talk. All four of us have our down times, and so when we are chatting we try to remind each other how to keep positive...when thinking negative...a point one of the group said was that she was told that she was "in denial" - she brought this up with her psychologist as a negative idea as that is what people seem to say...i.e. being in denial is not a good thing. Well i was so pleased with the remark that the psychologist apparently said...that is, perhaps it is a good thing to be in denial, you will live as you usually live, and enjoy what you usually enjoy and if all is going well, why think negative thoughts.
This is precisely what helped us tonight, as Mac was feeling weepy and sad, he thought he had no place to go, couldn't remember where he was, and therefore said, "i wonder where I will sleep tonight" Well I could have cried with him and felt terrible thinking, this man is lost in his own home - this is terrible...instead, I tried not to weep with him, but smiled and said, "hey come with me...sat him down in his big chair, sat on his knee and said, now I am Jan I sleep with you..and we sleep in our own bed.' It took some time and some positive thinking, to get him to say - yes I guess this is my home therefore I have a bed.."why do I get this way ...I said, well we all feel down sometime and how do you like having a little heavy weight on your knee" well he laughed and said "could think about some lighter weights, but this is fine" i said how about Finley, she is a light weight. Right away, he remembered, that his little great grandaughter is Finley..brightening up immediately we then both of us went into denial...and put the "why do i get this way" out of our heads.
Phoning Valerie to drop by on her way home from the grocery store was a stroke of good luck, she dropped by for some stuff I had and at the same time, surprise, Finley and Brianna were with her. This baby is amazing, smiling and happy she made us go in to deep denial...and for now that is where we will stay...g'nite.
This is precisely what helped us tonight, as Mac was feeling weepy and sad, he thought he had no place to go, couldn't remember where he was, and therefore said, "i wonder where I will sleep tonight" Well I could have cried with him and felt terrible thinking, this man is lost in his own home - this is terrible...instead, I tried not to weep with him, but smiled and said, "hey come with me...sat him down in his big chair, sat on his knee and said, now I am Jan I sleep with you..and we sleep in our own bed.' It took some time and some positive thinking, to get him to say - yes I guess this is my home therefore I have a bed.."why do I get this way ...I said, well we all feel down sometime and how do you like having a little heavy weight on your knee" well he laughed and said "could think about some lighter weights, but this is fine" i said how about Finley, she is a light weight. Right away, he remembered, that his little great grandaughter is Finley..brightening up immediately we then both of us went into denial...and put the "why do i get this way" out of our heads.
Phoning Valerie to drop by on her way home from the grocery store was a stroke of good luck, she dropped by for some stuff I had and at the same time, surprise, Finley and Brianna were with her. This baby is amazing, smiling and happy she made us go in to deep denial...and for now that is where we will stay...g'nite.
Monday 10 September 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012 I really Can't Believe that...
A good question was asked by our friend this past weekend. When a person with Alzheimers does not believe something should one argue about it and try to set the record straight. While he and his wife were here Mac said, "I'm looking for other McConnells" - I reminded him that when we were at his son Leslie's home today, he is a McConnell, he is your son.
Well Mac said, "no I really can't believe that" ...we reinforced it again, later in the day, but as I said to Bruce, our friend. I think Mac is stuck in the days of his Lacrosse days, when he was a teenager...and we talked about other things. Today he asked me again, did I know of other McConnells as he'd like to meet other McConnells. I said, well there was your brother John in Buffalo, of course all your family are dead now, and so is John, but Sandy is his daughter - she is a McConnell and so is her brother Ray...he is a McConnell...well I know that but I mean older McConnells. I said o.k. we'll phone your cousin Mabel, she is an old McConnell although it was her mom who was a McConnell,so her last name is not McConnell. Well that perked him up, so I will call her and they can discuss their family...but interestingly....
I brought up his son Leslie again, he said, really I can't believe I have a son, - yes you do, and you saw him yesterday...and you have 4 other children. NO I don't have children, well I didn't want to argue...just pointed out that he can see all the children's pictures all over on the piano, on the wall etc. You do have children, but I added, it is hard to believe as they have all grown up to adults, no longer children. I felt that he would be depressed as he was starting to look very sad...then he said, Well I have a big gap in my memory, BUT, I"M very HAPPY now...as i'm back in the game...
So i don't think we should argue, but just let it rest...if he is happy, then so am I...and when he said, wait a minute, am I married to you..yes I said that is part of the game, he laughed and said, well good...now you better behave,, and so i will, as I want him happy in the game.
Well Mac said, "no I really can't believe that" ...we reinforced it again, later in the day, but as I said to Bruce, our friend. I think Mac is stuck in the days of his Lacrosse days, when he was a teenager...and we talked about other things. Today he asked me again, did I know of other McConnells as he'd like to meet other McConnells. I said, well there was your brother John in Buffalo, of course all your family are dead now, and so is John, but Sandy is his daughter - she is a McConnell and so is her brother Ray...he is a McConnell...well I know that but I mean older McConnells. I said o.k. we'll phone your cousin Mabel, she is an old McConnell although it was her mom who was a McConnell,so her last name is not McConnell. Well that perked him up, so I will call her and they can discuss their family...but interestingly....
I brought up his son Leslie again, he said, really I can't believe I have a son, - yes you do, and you saw him yesterday...and you have 4 other children. NO I don't have children, well I didn't want to argue...just pointed out that he can see all the children's pictures all over on the piano, on the wall etc. You do have children, but I added, it is hard to believe as they have all grown up to adults, no longer children. I felt that he would be depressed as he was starting to look very sad...then he said, Well I have a big gap in my memory, BUT, I"M very HAPPY now...as i'm back in the game...
So i don't think we should argue, but just let it rest...if he is happy, then so am I...and when he said, wait a minute, am I married to you..yes I said that is part of the game, he laughed and said, well good...now you better behave,, and so i will, as I want him happy in the game.
Friday 7 September 2012
Friday, September 7,2012 What is it i get every month?
One of the things that seems to be very common among support people when we discuss behaviours of the person we are caring for is the need to know where are the $$$. In many cases the person with A.seems to think that someone took their money, or that they will take their money. Thankfully in Mac's case he does not seem to think someone took his $$$, but that someone may take his money. With this in mind he checks his wallet carefully. Actually the process usually starts along with everything else, after dinner. He puts his wallet away in his drawer, but not before checking just how much is in there. BUT today he spent some - big problem, he forgot that he did this. Well we went over the amount spent, what it was spent on, and when at least 5 times, but he was still unhappy....so I decided to make up the amount missing, and then I said, you can pay me back when we go to the bank.
Well good thing I said that, as then he realized - hey I have more money in the bank. Good....so then we go through another process that takes place almost every day, and that is, how much he has, why he has it, i.e. he gets a pension, how he got it, worked for 40 years for CN, he put $$ in his retirement fund and now lo and behold he has this pension. Thankfully he can still read, though he doesn't read for amusement, reading his bank statement is his favourite reading material. Actually it would be kind of boring, but it really isn't as he then needs to know where each deposit and withdrawal came from...shades of his work as an Economist. Kind of good for me too, as I've never kept track of my statements, and this way I show him how much richer he is than I am...believe it or not it's great for his ego.
This because there is so much I do that he cannot, so sometimes knowing his $$$ does so much for us is great..and therefore, I make sure I tell him how much I appreciate being married to such a smartie with such a good pension. This then takes us to when did we get married...60 years ago??? how come I don't remember.marrying you.....
Well I am married to you now, right - right! o.k. I'm your second wife and you are my second husband, wow this is great, what a good looking husband I have...and he comments, o.k. if you're my wife, you better behave or else.... hmmmm what is or else...thankfully he always smiles and laughs when he says this. So another thing i'm thankful for is I really love my second husband and he loves me....g'nite, i'll be back next monday.
Well good thing I said that, as then he realized - hey I have more money in the bank. Good....so then we go through another process that takes place almost every day, and that is, how much he has, why he has it, i.e. he gets a pension, how he got it, worked for 40 years for CN, he put $$ in his retirement fund and now lo and behold he has this pension. Thankfully he can still read, though he doesn't read for amusement, reading his bank statement is his favourite reading material. Actually it would be kind of boring, but it really isn't as he then needs to know where each deposit and withdrawal came from...shades of his work as an Economist. Kind of good for me too, as I've never kept track of my statements, and this way I show him how much richer he is than I am...believe it or not it's great for his ego.
This because there is so much I do that he cannot, so sometimes knowing his $$$ does so much for us is great..and therefore, I make sure I tell him how much I appreciate being married to such a smartie with such a good pension. This then takes us to when did we get married...60 years ago??? how come I don't remember.marrying you.....
Well I am married to you now, right - right! o.k. I'm your second wife and you are my second husband, wow this is great, what a good looking husband I have...and he comments, o.k. if you're my wife, you better behave or else.... hmmmm what is or else...thankfully he always smiles and laughs when he says this. So another thing i'm thankful for is I really love my second husband and he loves me....g'nite, i'll be back next monday.
Wednesday 5 September 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012....Are we the only ones here?
We are watching t.v. at least mac is and i'm jumping back and forth - doing ironing, checking emails, now doing the blog...When I went in to iron and watch the news..he asked for about the 4th time, Are we the only ones here...this is one of his many similar questions every night. He can't seem to understand that this is our house...This building is our house? right our house. Who owns this building..answer by me...We own it. Who paid for it...We paid for it, and we live here, just you and I...
I do not go into how long we've owned it as it seems to make him sad, but when i used to say - yes this is our house, we've been in it 50 years...he looks incredulous and then starts asking over and over again the same question, but who lives here? These questions and more seem to hit in the evening...when we are together. I just realized he did not ask these questions when our grandkids slept over. He seemed to enjoy thinking about having two little boys in the next room and since i said let's leave all the lights on in the hall and our bathroom so they will feel secure, perhaps that made him feel better too...who knows?
A rather sad note was watching an old hockey player that Mac knew in his day, Phil Espisito...and the episode re; henderson's goal 40 years ago..in the game with Russia and Canada..I remember how excited Mac was at that time ..but when he watched this on t.v. tonight no bells rang. i asked did he remember, no he said..don't remember anything about that...almost unbelievable as hockey played such a large part in his youth..and in his memory. I will try to do a little more about that, perhaps dig up his cousin Russell' s letter from New York Rangers - which was asking Russell to sign a contract...for 50 dollars a week, that was quite a story in the McConnell history.. Will go on google for him and see if it rings any bells, as there is quite a bit about t Russell McConnell if one googles the name.
Well i'll join him to check out the story that history will record. the shooting that took place at the election yesterday of pauline marois, I'm surprised that the National put this on one of the last stories...hmm...howcum. so g'nite...
I do not go into how long we've owned it as it seems to make him sad, but when i used to say - yes this is our house, we've been in it 50 years...he looks incredulous and then starts asking over and over again the same question, but who lives here? These questions and more seem to hit in the evening...when we are together. I just realized he did not ask these questions when our grandkids slept over. He seemed to enjoy thinking about having two little boys in the next room and since i said let's leave all the lights on in the hall and our bathroom so they will feel secure, perhaps that made him feel better too...who knows?
A rather sad note was watching an old hockey player that Mac knew in his day, Phil Espisito...and the episode re; henderson's goal 40 years ago..in the game with Russia and Canada..I remember how excited Mac was at that time ..but when he watched this on t.v. tonight no bells rang. i asked did he remember, no he said..don't remember anything about that...almost unbelievable as hockey played such a large part in his youth..and in his memory. I will try to do a little more about that, perhaps dig up his cousin Russell' s letter from New York Rangers - which was asking Russell to sign a contract...for 50 dollars a week, that was quite a story in the McConnell history.. Will go on google for him and see if it rings any bells, as there is quite a bit about t Russell McConnell if one googles the name.
Well i'll join him to check out the story that history will record. the shooting that took place at the election yesterday of pauline marois, I'm surprised that the National put this on one of the last stories...hmm...howcum. so g'nite...
Monday 3 September 2012
Monday, September 3. 2012 This is what we do
Mac has been hovering around for the past 30 minutes saying...this is what we do, right? We bring the cat in, you feed him, then we go to bed. I said this is what we do too, we watch t.v. till the weather forecast - then we bring the cat in, then we feed him, then we go to bed. Right says mac this is what we do, but where do we go to bed...so after showing him our bedroom which is right next to the t.v. room which is right next to where I'm typing this ..it has taken some time, but we got it all understood and then, .i said i'll be right with you to watch the news...don't worry. So he is happy now.
This is the wonderful thing about Mac, it doesn't take much to make him happy, just clarify exactly what is bothering him, make sure he feels loved, he knows i'm always there and will take the time to explain...as we learned in our support group from the leader...know that you are the lucky one, the person with A. is not. He or she is the one who is wondring, and thinking, and trying to put the puzzle together, This has stuck with me and so it's not hard to be patient when one realizes how lucky one is not to be in that kind of a position.
The other wonderful thing is that he is so loving..he is so there for me and I cannot picture my life without him; also he enjoys so many little simple things that it takes my breath away. walking tonight I said too bad we missed the sun going down. Not really, look at that cloud it is edged with pink, that's the sun...and then we saw more and more pink edged clouds...wondrous, never ever looked at the clouds when i'm walking along a busy street, which we were. As i said mac you made me forget how noisy the traffic is on St. john Baptiste...good for you...
So far his mood stays great, but then he is rarely in a position of frustration or put on the spot...I was reminded of the last time which was when he was being tested by the doc... july 5,- as his level of understanding, where - what and how lessens; the more he is frustrated and upset..even walking with a stick is now o.k. he can see for himself how necessary it is at times. It takes time and patience but how worthwhile it is - so now to do what we have to do.. as this is what we do.
just to reiterate, these times are mainly in the evening...it's been a great day, with our two grandsons, Olivier and Noah...even a great night last night as they slept over...grandkids are the best.
This is the wonderful thing about Mac, it doesn't take much to make him happy, just clarify exactly what is bothering him, make sure he feels loved, he knows i'm always there and will take the time to explain...as we learned in our support group from the leader...know that you are the lucky one, the person with A. is not. He or she is the one who is wondring, and thinking, and trying to put the puzzle together, This has stuck with me and so it's not hard to be patient when one realizes how lucky one is not to be in that kind of a position.
The other wonderful thing is that he is so loving..he is so there for me and I cannot picture my life without him; also he enjoys so many little simple things that it takes my breath away. walking tonight I said too bad we missed the sun going down. Not really, look at that cloud it is edged with pink, that's the sun...and then we saw more and more pink edged clouds...wondrous, never ever looked at the clouds when i'm walking along a busy street, which we were. As i said mac you made me forget how noisy the traffic is on St. john Baptiste...good for you...
So far his mood stays great, but then he is rarely in a position of frustration or put on the spot...I was reminded of the last time which was when he was being tested by the doc... july 5,- as his level of understanding, where - what and how lessens; the more he is frustrated and upset..even walking with a stick is now o.k. he can see for himself how necessary it is at times. It takes time and patience but how worthwhile it is - so now to do what we have to do.. as this is what we do.
just to reiterate, these times are mainly in the evening...it's been a great day, with our two grandsons, Olivier and Noah...even a great night last night as they slept over...grandkids are the best.
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