Monday, April 29, 2013 Where the hell were you???

Yes, now where was I, when Mac asked me that courteous question?  oh, right, I was in Church...decided to try something new, a new church - Anglican, as my friend Ginny offered to drive me there...and the other new thing was to place Mac with the nurses on the 2nd floor..this was an option which I have not taken advantage of but wanted to try out...as this is where we go to have music therapy on Friday a.m's. so he now knows the area.  Well he was right at home when i brought him down, friendly nurses, and familiar faces and the t.v. area is where most of the people were, so as he joined them, i said bye Mac, he was so at home he didn't even turn around just waved me off...

So off I went happily,  this church is a very friendly one, people gather and converse and drink tea, eat etc. all after the service, so as I left at 10 and returned at 12;45...by then Mac had forgotten where i was going and why he was there...So that was how my reception was when I returned...He sulked for about one hour and soon forgot why he was sulking but continued for another half hour or so while we walked to the lake, saying he felt weak, couldn't walk etc.etc.  Thankfully I persisted and the day was fantastic...weather - people and a big plus was we were invited to my daughter Gaye's for bbq salmon -

Her husband Bill picked us up from the walk at about 5:30...by then all was beautiful, no problems in sight and so ended a great day, and it continued right into today, where we battled a strong warm wind along the lake - enjoyed watching kite surfers, the heron and the two Canada Geese, that returned to say hi, and ended our walk at the oldies place, called The Teapot, where I had a cup of tea, and mac had a coffee...so endeth a fun two days, now on to tomorrow...where we will join Annie and Neil for yoga....but right nw it's time to prepare for bed, so g'nite.

Thursday, April 25, 2013 It's really beautiful.....

And so it was, really beautiful, a beautiful day, we walked the lakeshore from about 3;15 p.m. till we arrived back home at 6:00 p.m.   Strolling along the water front park here in lachine is a real blessing for us, we sit and stroll, sit and stroll, as we wallk  from 32nd Ave. to around 52nd Ave.  On the way we stop to look at all the redwing blackbirds chattering away to each other, the little chick a - dees skipping from one tiny tree to another...the crows flying high over the huge trees, and best of all we finally saw our first robin...also a couple of geese eating what seems to be grubs under the earth, and a couple of pidgeons, we were so close to the pidgeons that we were quite surprised at the varied shades of pinks mauves and aqua shades which were in the feathers around their neck, we've never noted pidgeons when we were avid bird watchers so we were quite surprised at their beauty.  Poor things we've usually associated them with their droppings on the downtown buildings so kind of blotted out their good qualities.

The beauty though for Mac is to watch the sun glitterine along the shore and out to the middle of the lake, he can never get enough of it and as we sit in different areas,  that is usually his main focus...and he gets annoyed at any noise that kind of interferes with the quiet, which at one point was two men working - hammering away at tiles they were puttng on a roof...Mac acting like they were deliberately trying to break the beautiful spell that he was under...but as we walked along, watching them across the street as they worked was also quite interesting, since it is quite a job and one that takes some skill he noted.  

All this to say the he and i had a super day, starting with his participating in the exercise class in the morning...and taking quite a few jibes from women who were comparing him to santa claus...he also went so far as to give an exercise for all to follow, as that is part of the group dynamic, one person gives the exercise the rest have to follow....This session usually ends with two happy face large balls which we throw, kick and generally have a 'ball" literally laughing and yelling - about 20 participants all sitting either on chairs or wheel chairs our legs flying around trying to get the balls.  When we left  the two ladies in particular who were chatting him up, were saying, to me, you are one lucky lady.

Well that's the way i feel today, lucky, lucky that we are still together when we could be apart...i see so many couples in this place that are either apart because one is too ill and the other is looking after the house at home, or the other has passed on, or in some cases of course divorce or separation..

.but happily, there are the love birds who sit all day on the love seat near the door talking softly to one another in French, or another couple who hold hands - she in a wheel chair, her legs seem to be missing, and she is on dialysis 3 x  week.....and another couple who plod along both on walkers chatting as they go...So it goes...we're all here for different reasons, but for the most part...seem to be content in our old age.  Even the paranoid group enjoy their morning discussion, on who took their clothes, their money or their meds and how they will deal with the person when they get ahold of them...so for one thing it's never dull...

And for mac - especially today, IT"S REALLY BEAUTIFUL..  g'nite.

Monday, April 22, 2013 i'm not going !!!

Just when things are going along rather smoothly, we have a little jolt...it actually kind of started with our helper last night...i should explain that every evening  we have what they call a helper or prepose, not sure how they spell it but it should have an accent on the last e...who get's mac readiy for bed, and we also have one in the morning.  Well the one on duty is fairly new...and was so late that i decided i'd better do this job..she came in halfway through and then left. and somehow mac was disoriented, with me there doing it in my unprofessional way...that is having a problem getting his slippers and pants off...his legs go very stiff and it is actually not easy, the same with taking off his shirt or sweater...his arms seem to be  like sticks...so he was not a happy camper at how i did this. 

During the night he was restless and by morning he didn't have any clue as to what was going on, he in fact kept saying, what's going on.../???  Then i realized why, the whole of his side of the bed was wet, and in the night he had removed his p.j.s   well we got over that ...but then of course we had his sadness at the loss of his mom and this kind of continued until time to go for a walk in the sun..no way, i'm too weak he complained ,..refusing to get out of his chair.  When this happens i kind of leave him be....and by about 15 min or so he gets over it, or forgets what he is upset about...but no...it' was 'i'm not going ' over and over - finally, he did go for a little walk but complained so much ...and so i did something that for both of us is new.   We were told that he could stay in the Activities room with the woman Carol who provides activities for everyone who wishes to participate...I never have used the service as Mac usually wants to go out for a walk or shopping or whatever i'm doing although  at times we do participate..as in Yoga, but today was OKO a kind of bingo...I asked Carol if she would look after him, and left Mr. Cranky with her....Turned out well, he didn't particpate - but sat quietly, had juice and snack with the group. and when i came back two hours later...Carol said, 'he's an angel, leave him any time'....

Well the angel was back to himself - we had a quiet rest of the day, then decided to have dinner in the dining hall..sitting with the two ladies we have met before  Edith and Alice...surprise...Mac liked the dinner - and i liked mine, and the company was funny and at times surprising...especially when one of the ladies - threw her spoon down  - because the waitress didn't put catsup on her plate...jan the hero did this little job and all went well.  So i have had a few eye opening experiences as to just who is 'on target ' here and 'who is not' 

i left thinking, gee i guess when people see us, they just assume i have alzheimers or some other affliction, as it seems that in this place,  one cannot tell a book by it's cover so to speak..that is ...We're all either angels or devils, better think about that...hmmm.  i'll join my angel,  should i be a devil ???g'nite.

Saturday, April 20, 2013 Where are we, and where is everybody?

Two questions were on Mac's mind when he woke up today, where are we and where is everybody...Well i didn't know just who he meant by 'everybody", but since we had daughter Valerie's family with us for her daughter Brianna's birthday dinner last night - thought maybe that was why he expected more people to be here.  I decided to answer the "where are we " first...he was surprised as always to hear he is in lachine, but it makes him happy to think we are nearer now to his 'dear st henri', but the where is everybody??, i explained that our children are grown up and in their own homes now.  This question of when did that happen and when were we married are all part of this and so the morning went as through breakfast and after we talked about how we met, and why - to him, we seemed to be apart for so long...i.e. his memory or lack of...causes him to think we were not together.  In the end of the discussions it always comes back to his mom and how he doesn't remember how or when she died and why doesn't he know, and how much he misses his mother.

Now i have found a way to make him less sad, as i say, we are both missing our moms, our fathers, the family we grew up in, but now we have our children, and best of all our children have children and the best big PLUS is our grandaughter has the sweetest little baby...Finley...So far that has made him so happy, he can always remember the baby, he laughs as he remembers her and the way she goes around the apartment, so quickly running here and there, touching everything, taking everything that's not put away...and best of all, recognizing her great grandfather and giving him hugs and kisses...

The two most important sort of mainstays in his mind are Finley and our cat Mischa...the name - that is my name Janet is important, but he doesn't always know that i am janet and sometimes he will say, - o.k. you are not Janet...so that takes some explaining...but usually he then realizes oh yes, but you are not a mcconnell, and we go through that scenario...Today we managed to get through his various sort of mind rummaging to feel he is on target - by about eleven  - this is always important to him so i do not try to shove it away, but gradually he gets his bearings, and then manages to live in the present.  To have the sun shining is usually a big help as well, - dull days make him feel dull, tired and sad, but today by noon he was ready to be in the moment.

We had visitors who he enjoys (neighbours from Chateauguay) and managed to get in a walk, but more important, he was able to follow a story line on T.V. something he has not been able to do for the past few months...Actually laughing and understanding the plot...kind of breakthrough of sorts...hope it keeps up but one never knows.  Before bed i said, 'good to see you were not  too cranky today...  he answered..'be careful, i'm keeping some in reserve...."  always the joker, so think I'll join him so he won't be cranky pants....g'nite.                          

Monday, April 15, 2013 I was just sitting and reminicing

"I've got a lot of thinking to do, I was just sitting and reminicing......i pretty well knew what came next...and i was right..."i'm reminicing about my days in St. henri."   We had a wonderful night's sleep, no "Live Theatre" in the middle of the night...so he and i were bright eyed and bushy-tailed this mornng, and launching into mac's memories of St. henri...well it was like going from the ridiculous to the sublime...as how great to hear him "on target" so to speak, and knowing that he had a lot of thinking to do. 

This thinking was to try to find someone who could tell him about the people and the family he had in St. Henri, but i really need some answers.he said ..to just when did my mother die, where was she laid out, who was there, because I wasn't...'   'i told him you certainly were there, don't worry, it's because of your memory..but you were there...'  "Oh that's good to know, wish i could remember, replied mac.  As as far as my friends and relatives are concerned, they can't give me any answers they are all dead...'   Well we're still alive and we have to do the dishes...nothing like getting back to basics says mac. ..and from there he continued to joke around and enjoy the beautiful sunny morning.

After the dishes were done, we went through his book which is one Gaye made for him, called 'Dad's Family'   Then he really enjoyed reading the words under the pictures and looking at his mom who was in our wedding pictures...Tried to get him to remember where we lived after we were married,  but that memory was hazy and  although we were with an old neighbour from Chateauguay, Dorothy, at her residence - just yesterday..there was no memory of the fifty years we lived in Chateauguay.

But onward and upward...we're off to spend an afternoon walking in the sun, with a friend from guess where......St. Henri...so all will be great...bye now

Sunday, April 14, 2013 No, i have to put these papers away....

The nights have been something i really used to dread in the past as mac would toss and turn and even  when sleeping act out his dreams; sometimes it would seem that he was wide awake, so i was usually happy to get about 4 hours sleep a night.   Nowadays, he seems to be much better, as life has improved at night first because he is on such a good schedule and second  as he has been using a urina rather than having to all the way to the bathroom... so it was such a surprise last night when he got up, i thought it was for the usual reason but no he didn't want the urinal he said he wanted the bathroom.  Then he didn't want the bathroom, so i said o.k. just what are you doing it's now 3;15 a.m. he started to laugh...and say, it's o.k. go back to bed i have to put these papers away....

So since he didn't have any papers, i decided o.k.lets see if he is just walking in his sleep and this is a dream, so i lay there watching, but he just stood for about 3 minutes, so i got out of bed, and said, hummmm you don't have any papers...well he laughed out loud, so i did too, as that was rather catching...and said, o.k. how about going back to bed.   Well no, said mac, i'm going to the bathroom...well this scenario continued to 4:00 a.m. we went back and forth with bathroom and papers....till fnally i said, look why not get the papers in the mornng it will be brighter and we will be able to see them, and in the meantime go the bathroom   'Good idea said mac, but you go to bed, i'll go the bathroom, and surprise... he did!!!, and there i was skulking in the shadows making sure he was alright and not going out the front door of the apartment.

So we finally got back to sleep at 4:00 a.m. in the morning of course all thoughts of paper, bathroom or any other thoughts from last night were gone...and now with a new problem, which seems to be occurring as he starts the day...it's happened twice now - that is a kind of retching and throwing up phlem...we'll have to check this out with the doc...but he was o.k. for the rest of a very busy day.  A day  of visitng and having our lovely great granbaby here along with her mom and grandmom visiting us ...and generally having a good time.  i noticed that   for the most part..Mac was very careful not to eat too much, in fact very little, so have to watch that too, as he is losing weight.

As usual the cat is meowing for his nightly snack, so must get it on for him and make sure Mac is all tucked in hopefully we will have a good night,,,with no papers to put away..

Friday, April 12, 2013 How did i get here????

Mac woke up this morning, quite happy to be getting organized for the day, and as i was putting on his kimono, he asked - hey how did i get here??  So continued to help him walk to his chair - gave him his cup of coffee as i answered, well we had a big moving truck that moved our furniture here, and then Les drove us once all the furniture was put in place.  "Well, he said as he looked out the window, I really like it, it's great!"
i love to see all the cars and trucks  going and coming and it's terrific looking out at the snow flying, and all the gulls..."  Well for some of us looking at the snow wouldn't be that great, but it's wonderful actually to look at it from this nice warm environment, and not have to go out ...i said and he said, right it's great.

This is such a good  feeling to know that even if he doesn't remember how and when we got here, this is the moment he lives in, and in this moment, he is very happy.  So later after breakfast, time to pick up the crossword puzzle, and as usual - especially with the three letter words,  i said, o.k. mac a three letter word beginning with A...the definition is "logger's tool"  ...o.k. he said how about ASS, i said no way, it's axe, - oh well that's their answer...i'm not in the mood for crossword puzzles...So we continued our day without the puzzle, and even reading the gazette list of those who died, couldn't compete with looking out the window at the activity going on, so just left him to it.

One thing for sure, though, he must walk even indoors, so we marched around downstairs, in and out of the activity room on the 2nd floor, too bad we were too late for the music therapy...a young  man comes every Friday from 9;30 to 10;30 sings and plays his guitar for the residents there...so we'll remember that next Tuesday i hope... then we continued our walk downstairs on the main floor, where sad to say, the activity leader couldn't make it through the snow and rain, and the ladies and men who were sitting waiting to play virtual bowling with the t.v. were disappointed.  We usually just watch, mac finds it too noisy, it really is, the ball going down the alley on the t.v. is kind of  ear-shattering...although he also finds the sandbag hitting the sandbag board on the game mind shattering, so no game there either. 

So picking up the gazette and our mail, we chatted with some of the residents and came back to our little home, where mac happily spoke to mischa, the cat telling him how lucky he was not to be going out.  poor mischa i'm sure would love to go out in any weather but he is now an indoor cat, and looking at the weather today, we're indoor cats too...but we both don't mind, looking out in this weather is fine ...bye now....

Wednesday, April 10,2013 Where's the baby?

When we moved we were so lucky as we were able to keep our cat Mischa...and if you have been reading these blogs you know how much he is part of our lives...so much so that even though we're in a much smaller place..mac still has to know where he is.  Today though, he surprised me by saying 'where's the baby?"  Well I figured he meant the cat, but just for sure, i said, you mean mischa the cat..'yes and he is our baby?"  Some baby, he rules this place like king kong. and can hardly wait for us to get out of bed and once it's all made, he just takes over...his fur is all over the place and he is in constant need of either a good brushing, having his nails cut.(he scratches furniture), needing a snack, lying on top of the aquarium, or having a run around with one of his toys.  So much so, that i've decided he has to come down a peg or two, so i have bought a squirter and squirt him when he gets too demanding, like at 4:00 a.m. or thereabouts.  For Mac this is real cruelty, and so he tries to make up to mischa, by cuddling or petting, but forget it, Mac's lucky to get about 5 pets in before mischa decides o.k.that's  enough time to give you a nip...mac calls it a kiss.

The positive side of all this is that the cat is a huge interest, keeps Mac on target and certainly i recommend a pet for all seniors whether they suffer from Alzheimers or not.  So for mac to say -he is our baby, well i guess he is and we will keep him for sure..even the blind man next door, seems to get a charge from our baby, and loves to say that mischa the cat next door ran in to his apartment bathroom twice...The women that come for Mac have also recognized the ruler of the roost, and now have learned to shut the door on him when he tries to get in the bathroom when they give Mac a shower, this he accepts haughtily, not without first making a little yelp ..he has a strange meow, the woman down the hall says he sounds like a siamese cat...so since he is a maine coon, this is surprising..anyway, he certainly has a way of letting us know his needs, and in fact they are more like commands.

All this to say although he is demanding etc....he has the essence of the following poem he shows his LOVE

Actually it is the Alzheimer Prayer

please grant my visitors the toleance of my confusion
Forgiveness for my irrationality and the strength to wait
with me into the mist of memory my world has become

please help them take my hand and stay awhile
even though I seem unaware of their presence

help them to know how their strength and loving care
will drift softly into the days that come just when i need it most.

let them know when i don't recognize them, that i will,
i will...keep their hearts free of sorrow for me,
For my sorrow, when it comes, only lasts a moment then it's gone

Finally lord please let them know how very much their visits mean,
how even through this relentless mystery
i can feel their love.

So our little mischa is the visitor that has many times saved the day, and along with our many friends has helped to let Mac feel the love...

Monday, April 7, 2013 how are we doing

We're getting that question from so many of our friends - so i'm just cutting and pasting in an answer to my latest inquiry in my blog in case anyone else is interested in how we are doing....

hi pat....mac and i really feel like old lachine residents as we walk to the lake and back can't count how many days we've done that now.....

 

..it's been a really smooth move...i now realize why i had 5 kids, recommend that to everyone....

 

we or they  established us the day we moved in...my daughter gaye is a fantastic artist and draughtsman, she laid out the apt. before we moved figured out just where everything should go - and i do mean everything...of course with my collaboration...and then the day we moved she and another daughter maureen,were there to receive and the three in chateauguay (les glenna and vallll) were there with me to send off...then we, mac and i spent a restful time at my son's while the movers moved...and the kids received.....at 6;00 p.m. we moved in and by 10;00 p.m. pics were on the wall, and 10;30..p.m. we were in bed and just about completely settled.  unbelieveable but true.

 

mac's only complaint is he does not want help getting dressed and undressed, but tough luck he has to have help..and it's great help for me.  so there you have it..also no more stairs, we go up and down in an elevator which is a bit of a prbm with my claustrophobia, but i'm improving.

 

we've been to seniors club in lachine...twice, once for lunch,  mac is not keen,  but it's an outing....the exercise and activities here are fun, and we actually participate..went to sugaring off both here and in oka...dentist and shopping are next door..grocery delivery from iga a 15 min walk away....

 

so do visit, actually better to phone first as we do get out every day as long as weather is good.  in fact we're off to the lake now., that is after i get the wash out of the dryer........xxxjan

Saturday, April 6, 2013 no, i'm fine let's go

many people seem to say about someone with Alzheimer's...'he has a short term memory loss' or words to that effect...in mac's case I always say he has Alzheimer's, - then for further enlightenment, if asked, i usually say he has memory loss.  Today I was able to observe short term memory loss so many times, but one that really stood out was...Mac got out of his chair to walk to another room, and said.."oooh i don't feel good, i feel dizzy, my eyes - i don't seem to see well.

This really  had me worrying...i quickly said.  o.k.  sit down again, after a few minutes I asked ...are you o.k. do you still feel dizzy...'yes still not too good, my eyes.'   i said o.k. how many fingers do you see.  as I held up one then five then three.  In each case he was able to identify how many fingers...then I pointed to a picture and said, do you see flowers or a tree...he said a flower ...so i relaxed but decided that he should have some eyedrops, kind that are just tears...that seemed to make him feel a bit better... and then we just sat for awhile...or he did.

After i finished a few chores, i said well i thought we could go out for a short walk, but i guess we better not if you are dizzy...mac's answer..'what are you talking about, i'm not dizzy, no i'm fine let's go....and so we did..although he didn't complain about being dizzy, he complained constantly about the wind being cold on his face and how he hated cold winds...but we still got to the lake, and i at least enjoyed the whole walk there and back wind or no wind...

When we had been home and were doing our thing, i.e. me doing a crossword puzzle out loud, mac helping every now and then, he actually got one ...which always makes me happy...he commented on the beautiful sunlight coming through the windows of our apartment...wow the sun is so warm and it's just terrific the way it shines through our windows...i agreed then said, at least it's not the wind ...which you certanly hated when we were out.  'What wind, said mac...when were we out"

This memory or lack of continued steadily through the day, even to the poor woman who was getting him ready for bed, he kept calling her a man, saying 'what is he doing with my pyjamas.'...i'd say...she is Celine she is getting you ready for bed....'  and so it went on, and even when she had left.  he said "what did that man do with my clothes..'  i replied, SHE put them on the bench, it's o.k. you still have your clothes...oh o.k. said mac, "now are you coming to bed..."  well in a few minutes...my few minutes are up, and i'm going to bed, Thank God, he remembers ME.  I hope  ..G'NITE.

Wednesday, April 4, 2013....Did anybody ever tell you.....

We have had some fairly good days, Mac adjusting so well that he is sleeping through the night...i'm not, the cat wants his food earlier and earlier, just bought a spray bottle to tell him that "i don't care if it's spring, you can't go out, and you can't eat at 4;30 a.m. that's the message from the alpha cat - ME"..  Luckily mac is not disturbed by mischa's meowing...he sleeps through it all..which is great.  He even wakes up expecting his harem of ladies that change him - actually there are 3 who rotate, and so far he is doing so well, i almost hate to say anything, as for sure it may change.

In any case, he is enjoying life in this bright and shiny new place, loves the views from every window, and recently has been looking forward to activities in the recreation room downstairs.  He even got up and danced with me in the exercise class..would you believe, everyone there clapped as he got up and kind of shuffled danced to one of the oldies that rang a bell.  I think it was a kind of cha cha which was one that played so often at our dance lessons many many years ago and..such fun.  The exercises we do are sitting on a chair,and each person has to think of some exercise then we all do it...along to the music, so that was a real surprise...

later when we returned to our apartment, decided to follow up and dance around some more, as he sat and tapped his feet, then i decided to sit on his knee, and he said  'Did anybody ever tell you - you weigh a ton?"

Well no but i took the hint and got up, he said - no no it's o .k. you can come back, just kidding...and so i managed to put lipstick all over him, and he said, well can do without that stuff...ha.  lovely to see him happy -

 we are walking every day - even in the cold wind yesterday, and the even cooler wind the day before when we went on the Sugaring off lunch in Oka...where he decided "i'm not eating all that calorie laden food...'then found out that we had already paid for it...yikes kind of caused him to freak out, but everyone seems used to this sort of thing and ignored him so he cooled it...thankfully, and decided the real nut in this case was ME, who should never have paid for the whole deal...anyway, back to today...Mac now knows our building or the front door...i wait to see if he will turn at the right place...and hurrah, he knew the place today...but one never knows if he will remember tomorrow.  But as i say every day,  we live for today and today was super fun....good evening, as it's only about 5;30 p.m.   solong.

monday April 1, 2013......This feels great....

Well our new lifestyle especially for mac is improving day by day...as he gets used to all the little perks that go with living here.  The first seeming drawback, was the people who helped get him ready for the day and then ready for the night.   They do a fantastic job of helping him wash and put on or take off his clothes...he has had a bit of a problem with itchy back and tonight as the woman scrubbed his back with a nice hot cloth and then put body cream on his back, he actually said , 'this feels great"....what a good thing to hear - it's taken time, but hopefully i'm not putting a kabosh on this, but each day it gets easier, as he realizes - what am I complaining about this is good i don't have to struggle to put my clothes on and off, and at the same time, it's a terrific massage and feels great.

The second good thing, is meeting  people in his day, as we take a walk down to get the mail, and gazette and at the same time do a walk inside the building....we are meeting others who are  kind of doing he same thing, who now ask him - comment ca va, or 'how are you.  and he responds and enjoys...i didn't realize how much he was remembering or taking in, until we happened to go down at a quiet time, lunch was over - and only a couple of people were in the lobby and activity center.  he said, wow it's so quiet - where is everyone, so obviously it's good and so i'll have to check the time and make sure, he sees others that make his day.

So now we'll ge some sense of how different activities will be for him, mac has never been a joiner, so far he has had a good time at yoga, tomorrow, we'll be taking a trip to a sugar barn, something i've done in the past with my class.  This will be a first for him, so we'll see how that goes, hopefully the weather cooperates....and the next new activity will be art...Thursday a.m.   hey it's getting to be life in the fast lane, thought we were slowing down in our old age....well for one thing we do get to bed earlier, sooo

even the damn cat knows that,  he's meowing for his night snack already, so g'nite...