There are so many good and funny words that I can quote from Mac, i.e." Who is that person in the top hat (no one that I can see), you are coming soon, right? Get out of here, and of course many great strings of profanities...Most or all of the negative words are usually when he is being dressed, undressed, and in today's episode asking him to take a shower, well he did not have a shower but did have a bit of a bird-bath..I managed to have his hair washed by the hairdresser downstairs but that was last week, so he will have to have that again, yikes.
But - "Did you have some", was said in such a caring way this morning as he was enjoying his Boost milkshake (boost, boost chocolate pudding, cream,milk banana and frozen vanilla yogurt,) he loved it and really hoped I had some, and of course I said sure, it's great. He still has about a a quarter of a cup left. Since he didn't eat breakfast, and won't eat lunch, this will have to do for now..
Yesterday's getting dressed session, was super, eating or drinking was the pits...going to bed was a cinch, who knows what it will be like tonight. His walking is precarious. Will go down today to see about therapy and a walker, although I'm not excited about a walker, as he has no perception of where a corner is or even who is walking towards us..he can like many of the people on the 2nd floor walk right into someone or the wall. Anyway, will check this out to see what is recommended by the therapist.
There are many things that can be annoying about the people working on the 2nd floor, especially one person who really want's to be so helpful. He is kind and tries to be understanding in his own way, but he doesn't seem comprehend that asking questions that Mac cannot answer; is not the way to go. For example he will say, "what did you do today?" Where did you go?, Do you know me?", Do you know my name?. All these questions and more are frustrating to say the least..first Mac really has no short term memory, and now no long term memory either. I'm wondering about that preposee, as I have told him that these questions cause frustration, and are absolutely no help to Mac; but unbelievably he asks them again when he is on duty which is usually every weekend. The good thing is he has learned that talking softly helps, quietly doing the job efficiently works, and so Mac's neighbor's responses of loud oy oy oy oy's have been reduced..and he now even can say to the preposee - the water is too cold etc.
This preposee has found that making sure to wash with warm water, softly and carefully is better, rather than doing the job in a hurry and then having to fend Mac or Walter's (his roommate) thrashing arms and legs. So now even for me the nightly routine is becoming easier, Now if only Mac would have a shower, but I read that bed baths and careful hair washing over the sink at this stage may be the only way to go. If so, so be it.
All this writing about washing and grooming, reminds me must go phone the barber, re; cutting his hair (that's going to be fun .hmmm.)and arrange for the lady who does feet and toenails to come some time soon. In the meantime, I have to cut his fingernails right now, so bye
Monday 27 October 2014
Friday 24 October 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014 Well isn't this nice....
What a surprise I got when I rushed down at 8:45 this morning to try to help get Mac out of bed. I almost ran to his room and shock and awe, his bed was made, and he was not even there. I then ran to the open solarium area not there, so into the dining room and Mr. Mac McConnell was sitting peacefully eating a piece of toast at a table with three others. The 3 preposees all laughed when they saw my face.."he has had a glass of orange juice, a bit of coffee, and one piece of toast with peanut butter and jam" I almost couldn't believe it. Mac smiled when he saw me, saying, hi, "I'm just eating breakfast". I said, well good, I'll just wait out here for you. No I'm finished, "do you want to come up to the apartment now? Yes, said Mac, so I decided we should pick up his sweater from his room, and maybe try to get him to brush his teeth (a first since the hospital)...Imagine, we did that too. And as we walked to the elevator to go up, he said "Well isn't this nice" Well, will wonders never cease??
Life is pleasanter at night - no more screaming and swearing getting ready for bed. That's because I decided to take matters into my own hands, I am doing the changing - with help from the preposees. I'm doing the washing carefully and with love, talking softly and giving him kisses, and hugs..and it's working. before the side on his bed goes up. I lie down beside him and stroke his hair and his beard and tell him how handsome he is - it's working he closes his eyes and goes to sleep with a smile.
So onward and upward, he is in our apt now listening to his fave classical music on cbc drinking his coffee. BUT, I had thought we should go back down around 10:30 a.m. to hear Richard sing and play his guitar...and sad to say, Mac could hardly walk, he tottered and almost fell. So with care and hanging on to the back of the sofa, I got him back in his chair..and that's where we are right now...Will he be able to walk - I'm going to try again. I plan to go out today - have Deb coming for him this afternoon, hopefully all will go well...after such a great start to the day, I've got my fingers crossed that this happy time will not be a downer because of his poor balance.
Debbie usually takes him down to the lobby near to the time that I am planning to return..I guess, I'll have to phone her to make sure all is still o.k. as long as he is sitting, he is fine...so we'll just have to wait and see...bye now.
Life is pleasanter at night - no more screaming and swearing getting ready for bed. That's because I decided to take matters into my own hands, I am doing the changing - with help from the preposees. I'm doing the washing carefully and with love, talking softly and giving him kisses, and hugs..and it's working. before the side on his bed goes up. I lie down beside him and stroke his hair and his beard and tell him how handsome he is - it's working he closes his eyes and goes to sleep with a smile.
So onward and upward, he is in our apt now listening to his fave classical music on cbc drinking his coffee. BUT, I had thought we should go back down around 10:30 a.m. to hear Richard sing and play his guitar...and sad to say, Mac could hardly walk, he tottered and almost fell. So with care and hanging on to the back of the sofa, I got him back in his chair..and that's where we are right now...Will he be able to walk - I'm going to try again. I plan to go out today - have Deb coming for him this afternoon, hopefully all will go well...after such a great start to the day, I've got my fingers crossed that this happy time will not be a downer because of his poor balance.
Debbie usually takes him down to the lobby near to the time that I am planning to return..I guess, I'll have to phone her to make sure all is still o.k. as long as he is sitting, he is fine...so we'll just have to wait and see...bye now.
Tuesday 21 October 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 I'm Fine thanks...
Mac's answer to Abedel - preposee who often gets him ready for bed. Abdel was on duty this afternoon, and that's in answer to his usual "how are you", question this afternoon - last night he asked Mac the same question, and the answer was ..wait for it... "bugger off". He just hates the nightly routine as I've mentioned so often, but it really gets to me, and we'll be heading downstairs soon, will then be going through this awful yelling, swearing session, groan.
Right now we're both enjoying jazz cds. The doctor was here today and is on the same page as our whole family - and that is...Mac will have palliative care here (hurrah, no hospital). He said it will be stage 3 care, that is, he will be given meds for pain, or sickness if he gets sick, but will not be moved to the hospital. He said at this stage Mac would not benefit, and only be made much worse from the ordeal of ambulance, and people who do not know him. I am so thrilled, I love Doctor Ginsburg.
Our day is less eventful now, the big deal is when Mac eats something..anything. Today, his total intake one inch of milk shake, one spoonful of boost pudding, one cup of coffee and one quarter of a small cup of soup.
He wants so much to be independent and hates for me to have to help pull him out of a chair - hold him carefully when he has to walk etc... and so sometimes he tries to push me away when I try to help, and then he will smile, and say - "sorry", I so understand this, and feel for him. So I do try to back off, or say wait a minute, I need to have this next dance with you.. That he loves..
Today was zootherapy day on 2nd floor, a woman brought in two lovely dogs, who just enjoy being petted. one Max is a beautiful golden haired Lab retriever went right to mac and licked his hand. I was surprised by Mac's reaction, Mac, who always loved dogs, just said - "go away" and didn't pay any attention the lab or to the sweetest little dog who jumped on my lap. Yet as soon as we came into our apartment for supper, he stooped to pet our cat and fluff up Mischa's tail..there is just no constant in Mac's behavior any more. I wish that will be also the case for when he goes to bed tonite hope he surprises me by being cooperative, and make the whole procedure easy for all of us...we'll see..g'nite
Right now we're both enjoying jazz cds. The doctor was here today and is on the same page as our whole family - and that is...Mac will have palliative care here (hurrah, no hospital). He said it will be stage 3 care, that is, he will be given meds for pain, or sickness if he gets sick, but will not be moved to the hospital. He said at this stage Mac would not benefit, and only be made much worse from the ordeal of ambulance, and people who do not know him. I am so thrilled, I love Doctor Ginsburg.
Our day is less eventful now, the big deal is when Mac eats something..anything. Today, his total intake one inch of milk shake, one spoonful of boost pudding, one cup of coffee and one quarter of a small cup of soup.
He wants so much to be independent and hates for me to have to help pull him out of a chair - hold him carefully when he has to walk etc... and so sometimes he tries to push me away when I try to help, and then he will smile, and say - "sorry", I so understand this, and feel for him. So I do try to back off, or say wait a minute, I need to have this next dance with you.. That he loves..
Today was zootherapy day on 2nd floor, a woman brought in two lovely dogs, who just enjoy being petted. one Max is a beautiful golden haired Lab retriever went right to mac and licked his hand. I was surprised by Mac's reaction, Mac, who always loved dogs, just said - "go away" and didn't pay any attention the lab or to the sweetest little dog who jumped on my lap. Yet as soon as we came into our apartment for supper, he stooped to pet our cat and fluff up Mischa's tail..there is just no constant in Mac's behavior any more. I wish that will be also the case for when he goes to bed tonite hope he surprises me by being cooperative, and make the whole procedure easy for all of us...we'll see..g'nite
Saturday 18 October 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014 I'll take Coffee...
Right, I'll have coffee. The nurse on 2nd floor was concerned, Mac was sick last night, throwing up, (green bile). He hadn't eaten all day, just coffee, and that was it, Wednesday and Thusday , actually ate some supper both days (and that's about all - supper is about a cup of food)..and some Boost in a milk shake. We were concerned today, after being sick last night and this a.m. .. The nurse was thinking "hospital" but he got better and did eat some lunch at about 1;30 and bits till 3:00 .and so I was hoping to give him supper and tried, but no way..and then he said right, I'll have coffee...yikes, I've got to get him on Boost tomorrow for sure...
Life is getting hectic, trying to get him to eat, trying to give him his pills (he spits them out) and making sure he does some walking - if only in the building, even though he is so weak, it's apparently good to do this to have him get an appetite and of course I want him to be able to walk and sitting won't do it.
Eating can take all afternoon, a bit at a time..but this is what I'm going to have to do. Each day is a challenge and each day is different,except for the fact that he is still fighting the poor preposees who want to get his clothes off and p.j.s on for bed.
So what's the good news..actally not much except that music still turns him on, and so he listens all day..When we go up and down in the elevator, oh by the way, he never stopped doing that even though he can be afraid to get on, we always manage..and I sing to him and we pretend to dance in the dark the elevator is kind of dark..and of course we don't do this when there are others there. I'm still singing songs that he tries to give me the words for...i.e. Come aboard the ???? (he'll say A. train). Though his memory is slowing down for most songs now..except we both jiggled around to Hey Bob a Rebob today...what an oldie that is...
I'm putting this on my blog to keep in mind that he was sick last night - and almost had to go back to hospital.thank God he is still here ..and hopefully will be here for tomorrow and tomorrow,,,g'nite..
Life is getting hectic, trying to get him to eat, trying to give him his pills (he spits them out) and making sure he does some walking - if only in the building, even though he is so weak, it's apparently good to do this to have him get an appetite and of course I want him to be able to walk and sitting won't do it.
Eating can take all afternoon, a bit at a time..but this is what I'm going to have to do. Each day is a challenge and each day is different,except for the fact that he is still fighting the poor preposees who want to get his clothes off and p.j.s on for bed.
So what's the good news..actally not much except that music still turns him on, and so he listens all day..When we go up and down in the elevator, oh by the way, he never stopped doing that even though he can be afraid to get on, we always manage..and I sing to him and we pretend to dance in the dark the elevator is kind of dark..and of course we don't do this when there are others there. I'm still singing songs that he tries to give me the words for...i.e. Come aboard the ???? (he'll say A. train). Though his memory is slowing down for most songs now..except we both jiggled around to Hey Bob a Rebob today...what an oldie that is...
I'm putting this on my blog to keep in mind that he was sick last night - and almost had to go back to hospital.thank God he is still here ..and hopefully will be here for tomorrow and tomorrow,,,g'nite..
Thursday 16 October 2014
Thursday, October 6, 2014 I WANT TO GO HOME H O M E
That was Mac's loud loud cry as Abdel (preposee) was washing his privates, I can understand it's so humiliating to be washed and treated so ..but it's necessary. This goes along with much swearing and growling and roaring, the doctor has suggested he get a pill for agitation, so we'll have to talk about that with the nurse tomorrow and see just when it should be given as perhaps it will help.
\I was all delighted to hear that he had absolutely no problem this a.m. getting dressed, and when I went down he was quite content and this contentment lasted all day. Though yesterday he was more or less cranky most of the day so had to just leave him - and attended a support group meeting - which certainly helped. Then when I returned he was fine, and even finer when Gaye came to visit and fed him a good amount of his dinner. Which reminds me he has started eating and this will make the third day in a row that he is eating...not a whole plate full of food, but at least half a plate and that's the good news. The doctor was considering sending him back to the hospital - which I was totally against..at this time the word - hospital - is a no no.... Anyway, it's not going to happen.
I don't know how many times in this journal (blog) I've said this but it's so true, one cannot count on anything being the same each day, it just does not go that way..the good thing is that the suggestions re; eating that I got from http:activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com worked and I will continue to follow the suggestions. Another suggestion from the support grp leader was to stroke - touch, and really love him after frustration and anger..which I did tonight it was lovely to see his crabby face in bed - change to peace and contentment when I stroked his thick hair and beard and kissed him, then stroked his arm as he drifted off to sleep
this is sometimes not what I feel like doing, usually I wish someone would do that for me as I'm so uptight after those sessions, but it helped me as well, and I left to come upstairs quite happy. So with that in mind, I'll keep the smile and go to bed...g'nite.
\I was all delighted to hear that he had absolutely no problem this a.m. getting dressed, and when I went down he was quite content and this contentment lasted all day. Though yesterday he was more or less cranky most of the day so had to just leave him - and attended a support group meeting - which certainly helped. Then when I returned he was fine, and even finer when Gaye came to visit and fed him a good amount of his dinner. Which reminds me he has started eating and this will make the third day in a row that he is eating...not a whole plate full of food, but at least half a plate and that's the good news. The doctor was considering sending him back to the hospital - which I was totally against..at this time the word - hospital - is a no no.... Anyway, it's not going to happen.
I don't know how many times in this journal (blog) I've said this but it's so true, one cannot count on anything being the same each day, it just does not go that way..the good thing is that the suggestions re; eating that I got from http:activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com worked and I will continue to follow the suggestions. Another suggestion from the support grp leader was to stroke - touch, and really love him after frustration and anger..which I did tonight it was lovely to see his crabby face in bed - change to peace and contentment when I stroked his thick hair and beard and kissed him, then stroked his arm as he drifted off to sleep
this is sometimes not what I feel like doing, usually I wish someone would do that for me as I'm so uptight after those sessions, but it helped me as well, and I left to come upstairs quite happy. So with that in mind, I'll keep the smile and go to bed...g'nite.
Monday 13 October 2014
Thanksgiving Day, Monday October 13,2014- Now don't run away....
After being away yesterday I'm wondering if that's why Mac said that as I sat beside him after he finally was settled in his bed..I said "you are all comfy now-right? and that was his answer, "now don't run away"..I, of course made it clear I'd be right here in the same house (that's how I put it) I guess, he must feel something is not quite right, as we always were in bed together, and if I miss him, I know he misses me.
Some may think this is much easier for me, as one of my friends put it in an email ..this was my answer:
. Life is if anything MORE stressful..Mac does not eat and I mean NO - NOTHING, and I try to tell the preposees that putting a tray packed with food in his room, and no one to help him to eat, is ridiculous.
Yesterday I went up to help ”close-up time” at the lake – then to Maureen’s home for Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I left my special milkshake (boost etc.) for Mac. When I called Cecilia later in the day to make sure all was o.k. (she came at 3 p.m.) Apparently Mac was still in bed, with the lunch tray on his table..no one had gotten him up. He never wants to get up, that’s not new – one has to coax him also feed him. Cecilia got someone to get him up, as she waited in the hall, she said it was horrific to hear the screams and profanities, she couldn’t believe it was him, went in to check it out and sure enough, her quiet Mac was the person, so she asked them to leave and come back in 25 min.
She ended up dressing him herself, took him upstairs and gave him his milkshake, then brought him down to the lobby. She said that was the best part of the day, he really loved looking at everyone there and music was on (they have a kind of musak playing part of the day) and she said he was so content, she couldn’t believe the man was the one she saw earlier. Even with his loss of weight and weak walking, when he is incensed he becomes so strong and aggressive and roars like a lion.
Anyway, all this to say the same thing happened today, only I got there at 9:00, back down at 9:30, then at 10:00 – this time I got him up easily and finally dressed him myself, (not easy) Right now is swaying to the music in our home here, as I try to give him boost - some cookies I just made, cereal – all in tiny tiny bits…I am kind of beside myself trying to think of ways to get him to eat…also what to do about all this, and also what to do about myself, as when I’m not with him I’m worried sick, (cry inwardly and outwardly) and I’m sure drive my friends and family away…because for sure it’s laugh and the world laughs with you and although they may listen and try to help when one is down, one can only help oneself..so it’s cry and you cry alone
One thing did cheer me besides having Mac with me happily all day is I have a list of stuff from the A. Assoc. as to what to do in cases where the person with the big A. won't eat.
Serve the meal one small course at a time.
Simplify the table setting - use one plate - one utensil and one glass.
Make use of contrasts try colored plate on white placemat.
Make use of tangy foods..try bbq sauce on meats or potatoes
Be creative - sweeten things - maple syrup on meats etc. as sweet is the taste that remains with us the longest
Supplement meals with products like Ensure...(I think Boost is equal - will check that out.
Enrich food so that the little bits given are nutritious whole milk, cream wheat germ etc.
Essential oils are believed to stimulate the appetite...they are concentrated oils of plants leaves flowers bark etc. and are said to have therapeutic properties. Sprays that contain essential oils can apparently help to make eating a pleasure..Debbie suggested peppermint, she read this oil works well
I read this online -activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com will definitely give these suggestions a try.
But not right now as my empty bed is calling.g'nite.
Some may think this is much easier for me, as one of my friends put it in an email ..this was my answer:
. Life is if anything MORE stressful..Mac does not eat and I mean NO - NOTHING, and I try to tell the preposees that putting a tray packed with food in his room, and no one to help him to eat, is ridiculous.
Yesterday I went up to help ”close-up time” at the lake – then to Maureen’s home for Thanksgiving and birthday celebrations. I left my special milkshake (boost etc.) for Mac. When I called Cecilia later in the day to make sure all was o.k. (she came at 3 p.m.) Apparently Mac was still in bed, with the lunch tray on his table..no one had gotten him up. He never wants to get up, that’s not new – one has to coax him also feed him. Cecilia got someone to get him up, as she waited in the hall, she said it was horrific to hear the screams and profanities, she couldn’t believe it was him, went in to check it out and sure enough, her quiet Mac was the person, so she asked them to leave and come back in 25 min.
She ended up dressing him herself, took him upstairs and gave him his milkshake, then brought him down to the lobby. She said that was the best part of the day, he really loved looking at everyone there and music was on (they have a kind of musak playing part of the day) and she said he was so content, she couldn’t believe the man was the one she saw earlier. Even with his loss of weight and weak walking, when he is incensed he becomes so strong and aggressive and roars like a lion.
Anyway, all this to say the same thing happened today, only I got there at 9:00, back down at 9:30, then at 10:00 – this time I got him up easily and finally dressed him myself, (not easy) Right now is swaying to the music in our home here, as I try to give him boost - some cookies I just made, cereal – all in tiny tiny bits…I am kind of beside myself trying to think of ways to get him to eat…also what to do about all this, and also what to do about myself, as when I’m not with him I’m worried sick, (cry inwardly and outwardly) and I’m sure drive my friends and family away…because for sure it’s laugh and the world laughs with you and although they may listen and try to help when one is down, one can only help oneself..so it’s cry and you cry alone
One thing did cheer me besides having Mac with me happily all day is I have a list of stuff from the A. Assoc. as to what to do in cases where the person with the big A. won't eat.
Serve the meal one small course at a time.
Simplify the table setting - use one plate - one utensil and one glass.
Make use of contrasts try colored plate on white placemat.
Make use of tangy foods..try bbq sauce on meats or potatoes
Be creative - sweeten things - maple syrup on meats etc. as sweet is the taste that remains with us the longest
Supplement meals with products like Ensure...(I think Boost is equal - will check that out.
Enrich food so that the little bits given are nutritious whole milk, cream wheat germ etc.
Essential oils are believed to stimulate the appetite...they are concentrated oils of plants leaves flowers bark etc. and are said to have therapeutic properties. Sprays that contain essential oils can apparently help to make eating a pleasure..Debbie suggested peppermint, she read this oil works well
I read this online -activeseniorlivingmn.wordpress.com will definitely give these suggestions a try.
But not right now as my empty bed is calling.g'nite.
Thursday 9 October 2014
Thursday, October 9, 2014 Goodbye...
Every night I say goodbye as I leave Mac in his bed in his room on the 2nd floor...I tell him I'll see him in the morning, and of course I do see him, and bring him up to our apartment, but it is getting harder and harder for me to say goodbye. Last night my neice Gail called as I was contemplating bringing him up, measuring the floor for another bed..one for him one for me so he could be in a hospital bed. She talked some sense into me, telling me so clearly how impossible it is for me to look after him now at night and so on, how it is a good time to start this transition as we know he will certainly not get better...right now he is sitting listening to our favourie music..one of which, by Ella went straight to my heart and here it is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP-8dzS1_rM Ella singing, every time we say goodbye, hope I can click on this and get it ...maybe you can too. g'bye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP-8dzS1_rM Ella singing, every time we say goodbye, hope I can click on this and get it ...maybe you can too. g'bye
Wednesday 8 October 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014 Is that a promise???
Last night while Mac and I sat in his room waiting for the preposees to come to get him ready for bed. He became quite lucid asking - where will you sleep? Why not here? He was much clearer in his thinking yesterday Obviously, and it left me feeling rather awful to leave him there, but I explained as best I could that he had an operation and needed more care. Aside from the fact that his walking is not the greatest, he would be too much for me to care for at night if he should need the bathroom etc. BUT, I added I will definitely be here for you in the morning. With that he looked at me with his big blue eyes, a bit teary, and said "Is that a promise"...
Well that nearly undid me, as that is something we always said if one or the other was not too happy with a situation. The unhappy one would ask that things should change or whatever, and if the other said, sure I'll do this or that, or will change my way...the one wanting the change would then say "Is that a promise", and that is how our marriage was really pretty solid as for both of us a "promise" was the most important thing - and it had to be taken seriously. One could be wishy-washy, about whatever, but the word "promise", meant it was for sure, and no ifs ands or buts, it was the way it would be. And so I answered,
"Mac I certainly promise you...I will be HERE in the morning, and I was. Was he there, well for sure, but would he get up..."no way jose", go away..but finally by 10:30 a.m. I said, I'm going to get some groceries be
back soon. So at 11;30, there he was sitting up, dressed and bushy tailed, waiting for me to take him to our apartment.
So now I'm hoping our government will PROMISE...to carry out the following, there is more online about the plan, but here is the gist of it :-
Media Release
For Immediate Distribution
Alzheimer Society of Canada applauds agreement to create national dementia plan
TORONTO, Ont. (October
2
, 2014)
–
The Alzheimer Society of Canada welcomes Health Minister
Rona Ambrose’s announcement
yesterday
that she and her provincial
and territorial
counterparts have agreed to collaborate on a national plan to curb
the staggering personal,
societal and economic toll of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.
“This is excellent news,” said Mimi Lowi
-
Dementia is a huge threat to our public health system and to our nation's productivity. It’s vital
that we address it collectively in a coordinated way
to make sure people living with this disease
get the help they
need and that our researchers
can
determine what causes it and can better
understand how to treat it.”
So that's the latest news on the problem that effects so many around he world...To see the people on the 2nd floor, sitting in a large circle in the solarium around the t.v. - after lunch, all sitting with their eyes closed, hardly noticing each other or speaking, is really sad. reminds me of a movie I never thought I would see anyone I knew in that condition, the movie was "Cocoon"...
The news in this place is that Mac is sitting listening to music, eyes closed but his feet are dancing up and down in time...I will try to give him a before bedtime walk around the people sitting in the lobby, although they too have the big A. for some it is not so advanced and they enjoy
having Mac well and waving to them..we will say goodnight to Alice our former dining table friend. Mac does not go down to eat there anymore, in fact Mac is still not eating..doc says by next week if he is still not eating i.e. only boost milkshakes, he will take him off one of his meds as it is a bit of an appetite depresser. or something. we'll see...so on we go for our in-house walk. bye now
Well that nearly undid me, as that is something we always said if one or the other was not too happy with a situation. The unhappy one would ask that things should change or whatever, and if the other said, sure I'll do this or that, or will change my way...the one wanting the change would then say "Is that a promise", and that is how our marriage was really pretty solid as for both of us a "promise" was the most important thing - and it had to be taken seriously. One could be wishy-washy, about whatever, but the word "promise", meant it was for sure, and no ifs ands or buts, it was the way it would be. And so I answered,
"Mac I certainly promise you...I will be HERE in the morning, and I was. Was he there, well for sure, but would he get up..."no way jose", go away..but finally by 10:30 a.m. I said, I'm going to get some groceries be
back soon. So at 11;30, there he was sitting up, dressed and bushy tailed, waiting for me to take him to our apartment.
So now I'm hoping our government will PROMISE...to carry out the following, there is more online about the plan, but here is the gist of it :-
Media Release
For Immediate Distribution
Alzheimer Society of Canada applauds agreement to create national dementia plan
TORONTO, Ont. (October
2
, 2014)
–
The Alzheimer Society of Canada welcomes Health Minister
Rona Ambrose’s announcement
yesterday
that she and her provincial
and territorial
counterparts have agreed to collaborate on a national plan to curb
the staggering personal,
societal and economic toll of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias.
“This is excellent news,” said Mimi Lowi
-
Dementia is a huge threat to our public health system and to our nation's productivity. It’s vital
that we address it collectively in a coordinated way
to make sure people living with this disease
get the help they
need and that our researchers
can
determine what causes it and can better
understand how to treat it.”
So that's the latest news on the problem that effects so many around he world...To see the people on the 2nd floor, sitting in a large circle in the solarium around the t.v. - after lunch, all sitting with their eyes closed, hardly noticing each other or speaking, is really sad. reminds me of a movie I never thought I would see anyone I knew in that condition, the movie was "Cocoon"...
The news in this place is that Mac is sitting listening to music, eyes closed but his feet are dancing up and down in time...I will try to give him a before bedtime walk around the people sitting in the lobby, although they too have the big A. for some it is not so advanced and they enjoy
having Mac well and waving to them..we will say goodnight to Alice our former dining table friend. Mac does not go down to eat there anymore, in fact Mac is still not eating..doc says by next week if he is still not eating i.e. only boost milkshakes, he will take him off one of his meds as it is a bit of an appetite depresser. or something. we'll see...so on we go for our in-house walk. bye now
Monday 6 October 2014
Monday, October 6, 2014...Let's jump and run...
Mac is here in our apartment, he has finished two glasses of milkshake - made with boost chocolate pudding, frozen yogurt, banana, strawberries and milk..now eating two tiny morsels of pineapple.
Today wouldn't get out of bed till 10:30 a.m and with quite a struggle for the preposee, but she managed, but no breakfast, and rien rien lunch as they told me.so that after going up and down 4 x from my apt to his , (took from 10;00 to 2;00 to get him up here). The last time I asked him if he wanted to come up he said, sure let's jump and run.... and now he's happily listening to the radio.
In answer to emails, just to let y'all know I am trying to do stuff without you know who.... I'm including the following:-
Yes we did get up north, that pic I sent you shows our two little cottages in paradise on the lake..I had to leave Mac at home but the good thing is for the first time in two years I was able to walk around the lake, renew my acquaintance with all the beauty – the fab foliage – and some of the locals that I usually only see in summer t'was super, if I can manage will send you a couple more pics…
BUT, just outside my window the trees are spectacular . the sun is shining, and I’ve got my lover here. Actually tried to wash his hair at the kitchen sink with 5 big plastic bags, placed between the sink and his hair and body. I even cut his mustache, beard eyebrows and some of the hair over his ears..he looks terrific, though very very thin. He has eaten a piece of my homemade banana bread, had a cup of coffee(for breakfast), will now try to give him some lunch, soup and egg sandwich, we’ll see if he eats it..you wouldn’t believe how thin he is now..also his walking is the pits,
drags his left leg, poor guy."
Well no he didn't eat the soup or the sandwich that day, and now he will only eat one piece of pineapple. Will try to get him to walk a little more today, and eat a little more.
With the up and down days and mood of Mac, causes me to be just as bad, and find myself feeling very sorry for myself and crying, thinking I've done the wrong thing he should be with me, but I know that I can't manage so on and on my mind goes in circles ...then I read about poor families losing their homes to rebels, others dying from Ebola I say to myself, o.k. Jan, get a handle on this, you've had 62 years of marriage to a great guy, he's sick now, but he is here with you, do your best and stop the nonsense..make your life and his as good as possible.
so will try, g'bye.
Saturday 4 October 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014 I want to go home
So far all is still UP and DOWN literally and figuratively with the new arrangement i.e. Mac downstairs on 2nd floor, me on the 6th… it is so so disturbing at times, for instance today all seemed great when I went down for Mac, around 11;30 - all was well the preposee said he had a little little brekkie at 8:30 a.m, There he was already seated for lunch and happy to see me, then all of a sudden, some guy in the hall was screaming, F---- Bastard…wow it was awful..I turned to Eunice the preposee serving the lunch , said hey which one is that..thinking it was one of the alzheimer’s patients…she said it is the husband of a lady who gets her meals in her room, he is angry because she was not the first one served. Well he sounded like a real maniac..I know I get frazzled when I feel Mac needs more attention …but it sure won’t work that way.
At times the noise from different patients gets too much, but thankfully today Maureen brought us two nice cushioned wicker chairs not too big which fits nicely plus a lamp –so when things get out of hand I’m going to have the preposee if I’m not there, bring him to the room to relax..and of course if I’m there that’s where we can go and settle down…as this going up and down is getting hard for Mac, once a day perhaps – we’ll see..we are supposed to get a room for Mac, but who knows where or when, they are really filled up.
The room he is in is big, but most of it is taken by Walter, Mac’s room mate, his furniture is utilitarian, round card table, straight chairs and bureaus, Walter is either out in the main solarium sitting quietly – snoozing, or napping in his bed…he should have our side of the room, I could fix up his large side of the room beautifully, but it’s not going to happen. He has the windows, we have the door side.
At night when they wash mac all over for bed, he swears and growls…when they get Walter ready, he goes oy oy oy oy…in a loud cry, it’s so sad, every night same thing, they forget that its just a short thing, and not hard – warm face cloth etc..but they hate it. I’m waiting to see when Mac will have his shower, that’s going to be a humdinger,,,but it has to be soon his hair is so greasy…
Tonight was rather sad Mac said, “I want to go home”, I said, this is home, he just said “oh is it”, and was quite content once he was in bed..his mattress seems really hard, I’m going to check that out..and see if I can get him a nicer one. And so it goes, I’m going to get on my mattress now -
so g'nite..
At times the noise from different patients gets too much, but thankfully today Maureen brought us two nice cushioned wicker chairs not too big which fits nicely plus a lamp –so when things get out of hand I’m going to have the preposee if I’m not there, bring him to the room to relax..and of course if I’m there that’s where we can go and settle down…as this going up and down is getting hard for Mac, once a day perhaps – we’ll see..we are supposed to get a room for Mac, but who knows where or when, they are really filled up.
The room he is in is big, but most of it is taken by Walter, Mac’s room mate, his furniture is utilitarian, round card table, straight chairs and bureaus, Walter is either out in the main solarium sitting quietly – snoozing, or napping in his bed…he should have our side of the room, I could fix up his large side of the room beautifully, but it’s not going to happen. He has the windows, we have the door side.
At night when they wash mac all over for bed, he swears and growls…when they get Walter ready, he goes oy oy oy oy…in a loud cry, it’s so sad, every night same thing, they forget that its just a short thing, and not hard – warm face cloth etc..but they hate it. I’m waiting to see when Mac will have his shower, that’s going to be a humdinger,,,but it has to be soon his hair is so greasy…
Tonight was rather sad Mac said, “I want to go home”, I said, this is home, he just said “oh is it”, and was quite content once he was in bed..his mattress seems really hard, I’m going to check that out..and see if I can get him a nicer one. And so it goes, I’m going to get on my mattress now -
so g'nite..
Thursday 2 October 2014
Thursday, October 3, 2014 SHUT UP !!!
Well life continues in the slow, slow, lane of the 2nd Floor for Mac, and for me it's run down from the 6th to the 2nd - between 8:00-900 a.m. - check out if he allowed the preposees to dress him, if he managed to eat any breakfast, and so on ....usually he is either sleeping, and we leave him till he wakes up...and for sure he NEVER eats any breakfast... he would sleep till 4:00 p.m. some days and some days he would want to get dressed but not happily..BUT, I realized the big problem was the way that this is done...either lying on the bed, or standing by the side of the bed...in both cases he feels "out of control" as he is still weak. I had them (the preposees) speak to the ones that he had on this floor. As I told them he feels more secure sitting on the toilet seat that has side rails, getting up and down for the washing etc is easier...that was the way the preposees did it on this floor..Well that worked fairly well, and though he still hates getting washed, that is still a problem, whether they let him do it, or they do it..it's ongoing..I have also tried to convince them they do not have to repeat everything 5 times, in a loud voice i.e. sit down sit down sit DOWN...and he made that clear when last night to the nice guy he has who was doing exactly that...Mac screamed, SHUT UP.
.There is of course the language problem, as most of the preposees even if they do speak English, have an accent, whether Moroccan, Haitian, or French Canadian, though he is starting to understand, now just to get them to lower their voices, I find that for the most part they are alays talking at a louder than normal volumn - even to each other.Of course many of the clients are fairly deaf, so makes sense.
So the biggest problem now, he hardly eats anything...so far he has about one glass of milkshake (which I make from strawberries, banana, boost frozen yogurt and milk)..the meals they provide are all left to go cold...which is awful, as he usually loves mashed potatoes, meat gravy, and a veg...plus soup juice and dessert..but it's been almost three weeks - no solid food.
So far, although he is with me most of the day, either there (2nd flr in the activity room or on the 6th he seems to have adjusted somewhat, - let's me leave and come back quite readily. Not going to count on this as we know what happens when I do.
The one who really needs to adjust to all this is ME, I miss him - and really enjoy when he smiles and I'm ecstatic when I can involve him in a conversation, like yesterday, I told him I met a woman whose husband , now dead, was a hockey player, that Mac knew in the old days..a Bob Frampton..that got us talking about hockey, lacrosse and the players he knew...when he was stick boy for the Black Hawks, junior and senior Royals, and helped with their skates, shared training, and lived on the cat walk, in the MontrealForum, (at ages 12-15)
Now to see if he is eating his supper..I doubt it...g'bye I'm on my way to the 2nd floor for the 4th time today.
.There is of course the language problem, as most of the preposees even if they do speak English, have an accent, whether Moroccan, Haitian, or French Canadian, though he is starting to understand, now just to get them to lower their voices, I find that for the most part they are alays talking at a louder than normal volumn - even to each other.Of course many of the clients are fairly deaf, so makes sense.
So the biggest problem now, he hardly eats anything...so far he has about one glass of milkshake (which I make from strawberries, banana, boost frozen yogurt and milk)..the meals they provide are all left to go cold...which is awful, as he usually loves mashed potatoes, meat gravy, and a veg...plus soup juice and dessert..but it's been almost three weeks - no solid food.
So far, although he is with me most of the day, either there (2nd flr in the activity room or on the 6th he seems to have adjusted somewhat, - let's me leave and come back quite readily. Not going to count on this as we know what happens when I do.
The one who really needs to adjust to all this is ME, I miss him - and really enjoy when he smiles and I'm ecstatic when I can involve him in a conversation, like yesterday, I told him I met a woman whose husband , now dead, was a hockey player, that Mac knew in the old days..a Bob Frampton..that got us talking about hockey, lacrosse and the players he knew...when he was stick boy for the Black Hawks, junior and senior Royals, and helped with their skates, shared training, and lived on the cat walk, in the MontrealForum, (at ages 12-15)
Now to see if he is eating his supper..I doubt it...g'bye I'm on my way to the 2nd floor for the 4th time today.
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