Hi Marge, Sorry took so long, Guess getting ready to go away, then being away (one week only) and now I'm back...has kept me busy plus the fact that my computer seems screwed up somehow as it says I have 84 emails, and I can't seem to get them, but did get yours..from Chioggia, Italy (never been there but sounds good.especially food etc).hope the weather is good. Speaking of food I've been enjoying that to a degree that is almost sickening, since Mac died I've gained 10 lbs and the cruise has really been the icing on the cake, or the fat on the nut, me...
It was a fun cruise, I hate all the getting to the cruise and getting off, plus my friend and I were so anxious to get off the assembly line of people getting off the ship, we didn't think about our luggage (I euphorically thought they put it on the bus for us - ha fat chance) so got the good news that we have to pay Fed Ex to ship our suitcases that were left on the pier in Boston ...I called today to tell them to go ahead and mail my case, naturally they are closed or something..so hope I get my suitcase sometime. Actually except for the few gifts, and my one cute dress, I'm not too concerned..can buy new stuff...I did buy myself a beautiful bracelet (pretended it was from Mac) luckily that was in my purse, thank God.
Bermuda is beautiful we loved the beaches but kept looking for pink sand, it seems to me it's only really pink when it's wet. (I brought some home )One of the funny things is that I went into the hot tub after swimming -sat beside a woman who asked where I was from, turns out she is from Kahanwake (native reserve next to Chateauguay), and was in my son's class in high school..out of 5000 people on the ship, there we were, and we met in another hot tub the next day...all very serendipity..someone said we had to meet for a reason..beats me I don't know the reason, maybe it will turn up... Another fun item, we got lost in Georgetown when the excursion bus driver told us we had one hour and half, we took a little longer and forgot where the bus was..and would you believe, we were kind of wandering along wondering what to do, when the bus was passing us the driver spotted the two delusional ladies and stopped - I said oh good this is where we were to be picked up... I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.."lady he said, I just phoned the ship and they have sent someone to try and find you guys"...never a dull moment.
So all's back to normal, and I’m home happy and contented, not sure if I'll take another cruise, maybe with my kids, so they can look after me. Sounds good to them. Xxxjan.
Tuesday 27 October 2015
Monday 26 October 2015
Monday, October 26, 2015....Yes, I'm back ...
One week on the cruise ship went so quickly, and here I am back home again, and happy to be here, although there were some wonderful moments, some wonderful scenes and some wonderful people...I'm not sure if anyone reads this blog anymore, but it is a diary for me...and so I'm putting a few highlights from the Bermuda trip here.
#1. Anyone going on a cruise should realize it's a big big ship, learn where the most important places to you are located..it took my friend and I a week and by then it was time to go home..we spent so much time running around wondering are we mid ship, aft, port , hey where the heck are we.
#2. If you enjoy swimming - I do, go there at least once a day, get in the hot tub, really soak it up, enjoy...I missed the first two days as we were just getting used to the whole scene.
#3. Walk the promenade around the ship - it's at least a mile, you will walk off all the pounds you put on by eating at all the great restaurants, by the way the food is terrific. I managed to lose weight...walking at least 4 or 5 times around the ship..top and promenade decks - the views were super...the sun the water the people, just great.
#4. When going on a tour, listen to where you are supposed to meet, We did but then forgot...we were lost in Georgetown, missed the bus, and luckily it found us on it's way back to the ship..what luck!!! The ship's trip coordinator was not thrilled with us...we managed to be known as the pair that got lost...not exactly the way we wanted to be known.
#5. Check out the shows each night - where and when the ones you are really interested in will be, if you are like us, write it down,get there early enough..Trouble is everything is interesting and fun, we'd start to go somewhere and end up at a different place altogether..If you like casinos, go for it. I don't gamble too much, but my friend with my help had a blast..She won 3 bottles of champagne, 18$, and a bottle of chardonnay. She shared the champagne with the people who helped her to win and myself..great!!!
#6. Space yourself go for a quiet time to listen to good jazz, dance your head off on the top deck near the pool, have fun, and enjoy all the different people you will meet..especially unreal was getting in the hot tub and when the woman next to me asked where I was from, turns out she was from Kahanawake, was in the same class as my son in high school, and knew my son-in-law...then to top it off , I met her in another hot tub the next day..un-real..
#7.Make sure you read all directions, we thought we understood that by leaving our bags on the pier with the green tags, that meant they would be collected and put on the bus...WRONG...we were supposed to collect them, and the sign we thought was the woman leader was holding and telling us to get on the bus was right, but we should have had our suitcases with us..that was too bad, now our suitcases that are still in Boston, will be sent to us by FED EX....yikes..
All in all I think I'd go cruising again, but now I am a little wiser, I hope.
What would Mac say about all this...he'd say "I'd never take a cruise in the first place...it's just one big buffet"
We did take a cruise...on a freighter and we were two of only twenty passengers and it was great, we saw all outports on the north shore of Quebec, Mac enjoyed watching them load and unload the ship...I loved the wonderful different places that one never get's to even hear about, like Harrington Harbour..the place where Le Grand Seduction was filmed, in fact we met the director and actors in the film...a wonderful memory.
But This was a first voyage for me on a huge Luxury Liner,it was fun, not Mac's cup of tea..but life goes on, and though I missed him, I said hi each time I looked out at the wonderful sky and sea, and think I saw him and I think he saw me...g'nite.
#1. Anyone going on a cruise should realize it's a big big ship, learn where the most important places to you are located..it took my friend and I a week and by then it was time to go home..we spent so much time running around wondering are we mid ship, aft, port , hey where the heck are we.
#2. If you enjoy swimming - I do, go there at least once a day, get in the hot tub, really soak it up, enjoy...I missed the first two days as we were just getting used to the whole scene.
#3. Walk the promenade around the ship - it's at least a mile, you will walk off all the pounds you put on by eating at all the great restaurants, by the way the food is terrific. I managed to lose weight...walking at least 4 or 5 times around the ship..top and promenade decks - the views were super...the sun the water the people, just great.
#4. When going on a tour, listen to where you are supposed to meet, We did but then forgot...we were lost in Georgetown, missed the bus, and luckily it found us on it's way back to the ship..what luck!!! The ship's trip coordinator was not thrilled with us...we managed to be known as the pair that got lost...not exactly the way we wanted to be known.
#5. Check out the shows each night - where and when the ones you are really interested in will be, if you are like us, write it down,get there early enough..Trouble is everything is interesting and fun, we'd start to go somewhere and end up at a different place altogether..If you like casinos, go for it. I don't gamble too much, but my friend with my help had a blast..She won 3 bottles of champagne, 18$, and a bottle of chardonnay. She shared the champagne with the people who helped her to win and myself..great!!!
#6. Space yourself go for a quiet time to listen to good jazz, dance your head off on the top deck near the pool, have fun, and enjoy all the different people you will meet..especially unreal was getting in the hot tub and when the woman next to me asked where I was from, turns out she was from Kahanawake, was in the same class as my son in high school, and knew my son-in-law...then to top it off , I met her in another hot tub the next day..un-real..
#7.Make sure you read all directions, we thought we understood that by leaving our bags on the pier with the green tags, that meant they would be collected and put on the bus...WRONG...we were supposed to collect them, and the sign we thought was the woman leader was holding and telling us to get on the bus was right, but we should have had our suitcases with us..that was too bad, now our suitcases that are still in Boston, will be sent to us by FED EX....yikes..
All in all I think I'd go cruising again, but now I am a little wiser, I hope.
What would Mac say about all this...he'd say "I'd never take a cruise in the first place...it's just one big buffet"
We did take a cruise...on a freighter and we were two of only twenty passengers and it was great, we saw all outports on the north shore of Quebec, Mac enjoyed watching them load and unload the ship...I loved the wonderful different places that one never get's to even hear about, like Harrington Harbour..the place where Le Grand Seduction was filmed, in fact we met the director and actors in the film...a wonderful memory.
But This was a first voyage for me on a huge Luxury Liner,it was fun, not Mac's cup of tea..but life goes on, and though I missed him, I said hi each time I looked out at the wonderful sky and sea, and think I saw him and I think he saw me...g'nite.
Thursday 15 October 2015
Friday, October 16, 2015 I'm on my way.....kind of....
Sorry to hear about the problems re:B, but so terrific that you were able to get her into a place so quickly (2 weeks) and also good that you were able to sell the house so quickly..
who is able to visit her there? I know about her wish for Home.. Home is always the place all of us envision, it is just a word for her that means security and love. Actually I think every patient here says the same thing, as well as Mac when he was here. I used to say well you moved, you got married etc. but soon learned to say; you are right, probably be a good idea to go home tomorrow..Mac used to say, yes call my mom, I'd say, will do, as soon as I find her address and phone number...I think I can get a phone book tomorrow...it was sad knowing that this was not going to happen, but it gave him some peace which was really all he really needed at the time. I am now going through the same scenario with my friend's mom, who lives in the building behind this one, that whole building is a Place D'acueille (Welcome Place) for Alzheimer's, imagine 8 floors of patients...it's truly unreal. I go there to give my friend a bit of respite about 2 x a month.
When I think of it, I realize that we all have an ideal place in our mind which is home. It might not be the home we had but one we envisioned or wished we had. I even go on google and look at my old home on Champagneur - I loved my home and my parents, and even the street, (and even still love the little boy I minded there) it makes me happy to see the people who have it now have kept it up and it still looks o.k.,sad to say my little friend Greta's place looks, awful, it was so nice when we lived there. The yard is there with a miserable fence around... Also, I was looking to see if the United church was there, but no ..
That disease is so so terrible, we have a lady on our floor who has to be moved down to a lockdown floor, where she can walk around the hallway- leave her room door open. Three times this week I have helped her in various ways, one of the main things is she can't remember which door is her's, plus where she is, her family doesn't seem to realize she should not be left alone, it's unreal. The sister always says to me, you must understand she has Alzheimer's, hello, I know, but what the sister doesn't know is that even though a preposee takes her to the three meals a day, she is a lost person, she needs someone to be with her, to have a radio on, or t.v. and have someone talk to her between meals. I suggested they get a person to stay with her, but the sister says, I come at least 2 x a week to do her washing, make sure she is alright...She is not alright, and it's lucky that the three times this week, I've been able to take her to her own door, open it with her key, which she forgets is around her neck on a cord..then the poor woman just kind of walks around in the apartment, sits down and looks out the window.
Anyway, I'm talking to the converted...so maybe I'll put this on my blog for some who can pass it on to those who need to know..
The good news is that I'm leaving tomorrow with a group we'll go on a bus to Boston, then we board a cruise ship for Bermuda will be back next Friday...not sure if I'm all that keen, but will be a good change for me, I hope..xxx g'nite
who is able to visit her there? I know about her wish for Home.. Home is always the place all of us envision, it is just a word for her that means security and love. Actually I think every patient here says the same thing, as well as Mac when he was here. I used to say well you moved, you got married etc. but soon learned to say; you are right, probably be a good idea to go home tomorrow..Mac used to say, yes call my mom, I'd say, will do, as soon as I find her address and phone number...I think I can get a phone book tomorrow...it was sad knowing that this was not going to happen, but it gave him some peace which was really all he really needed at the time. I am now going through the same scenario with my friend's mom, who lives in the building behind this one, that whole building is a Place D'acueille (Welcome Place) for Alzheimer's, imagine 8 floors of patients...it's truly unreal. I go there to give my friend a bit of respite about 2 x a month.
When I think of it, I realize that we all have an ideal place in our mind which is home. It might not be the home we had but one we envisioned or wished we had. I even go on google and look at my old home on Champagneur - I loved my home and my parents, and even the street, (and even still love the little boy I minded there) it makes me happy to see the people who have it now have kept it up and it still looks o.k.,sad to say my little friend Greta's place looks, awful, it was so nice when we lived there. The yard is there with a miserable fence around... Also, I was looking to see if the United church was there, but no ..
That disease is so so terrible, we have a lady on our floor who has to be moved down to a lockdown floor, where she can walk around the hallway- leave her room door open. Three times this week I have helped her in various ways, one of the main things is she can't remember which door is her's, plus where she is, her family doesn't seem to realize she should not be left alone, it's unreal. The sister always says to me, you must understand she has Alzheimer's, hello, I know, but what the sister doesn't know is that even though a preposee takes her to the three meals a day, she is a lost person, she needs someone to be with her, to have a radio on, or t.v. and have someone talk to her between meals. I suggested they get a person to stay with her, but the sister says, I come at least 2 x a week to do her washing, make sure she is alright...She is not alright, and it's lucky that the three times this week, I've been able to take her to her own door, open it with her key, which she forgets is around her neck on a cord..then the poor woman just kind of walks around in the apartment, sits down and looks out the window.
Anyway, I'm talking to the converted...so maybe I'll put this on my blog for some who can pass it on to those who need to know..
The good news is that I'm leaving tomorrow with a group we'll go on a bus to Boston, then we board a cruise ship for Bermuda will be back next Friday...not sure if I'm all that keen, but will be a good change for me, I hope..xxx g'nite
Saturday 10 October 2015
Saturday, October 10, 2015... The cottage at the lake....
The closing of the cottage..the yearly Fall activity and the first one without Mac, how sad,... there were the fantastic colours , all the leaves, the reds, the yellows,the orange and the greens..the lake glimmering in the sunlight. I walked through the woods stepping over and on them,(the leaves) by myself...
I watched the geese flying back home, said "goodbye see you next year"...and wishing I could say with him as we used to...well wishing won't make it so.
The lake, it's still a great place, but it's not the same for me..and maybe it's not the same for the family It's also the first time there were only a few of us, and though we did the jobs with the same energy, somehow not the same spirit..and I thought of the poem that I received last week at the Grieving Group...
The Elephant in the Room - by Terry Kettering
There's an elephant in the room
It is large and squatting, so it's hard to get around it
Yet we squeeze by with "how are you? and "I'm fine..
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter
We talk about the weather
We talk about the work
We talk about everything else...
Except the elephant in the room
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds
For you see it is a very big elephant
It has hurt us all
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room
Oh, please , say his name.
Oh please, say "Mac" again
Oh please, let's talk about the elephant in the room
For if we talk about his death
Perhaps we can talk about his life.
Can I say "dad" to you and not have you look away
For if I cannot
then you are leaving me alone
in a room
with an elephant.
Les showed me the watch he keeps in his pocket now, it's Mac's watch, he said it's an early watch dad had. Les said it's an Indigo
and then I walked on, with the elephant of a lump in my throat. So although we did say a little bit...we will say more...
Tonight I'm thinking of the song Night and Day and how I think of him all the time, day and night - night and day at home and at the lake well is it all the time..no it's not, but it is underlying what I say and do - do I laugh, well yes I do I laughed really hard today at something.. wish I could remember so I could laugh again.
O.K. I'll think of the many many laughs I had with Mac, how subtle some times his jokes were, and how so many of them were on me.. or funny things our sweet grandkids said and did.
Tomorrow, Sunday, Thanksgiving day, I will read the book mark that I used to read to him at breakfast - when he felt he was not doing well..I'd say
You are Special Mac..I can't stop thanking God for you. (Ephesians 1 16
Somehow saying that made him really laugh, but it is so true, because for sure, I do thank God for him. and so g'nite
I watched the geese flying back home, said "goodbye see you next year"...and wishing I could say with him as we used to...well wishing won't make it so.
The lake, it's still a great place, but it's not the same for me..and maybe it's not the same for the family It's also the first time there were only a few of us, and though we did the jobs with the same energy, somehow not the same spirit..and I thought of the poem that I received last week at the Grieving Group...
The Elephant in the Room - by Terry Kettering
There's an elephant in the room
It is large and squatting, so it's hard to get around it
Yet we squeeze by with "how are you? and "I'm fine..
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter
We talk about the weather
We talk about the work
We talk about everything else...
Except the elephant in the room
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds
For you see it is a very big elephant
It has hurt us all
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room
Oh, please , say his name.
Oh please, say "Mac" again
Oh please, let's talk about the elephant in the room
For if we talk about his death
Perhaps we can talk about his life.
Can I say "dad" to you and not have you look away
For if I cannot
then you are leaving me alone
in a room
with an elephant.
Les showed me the watch he keeps in his pocket now, it's Mac's watch, he said it's an early watch dad had. Les said it's an Indigo
and then I walked on, with the elephant of a lump in my throat. So although we did say a little bit...we will say more...
Tonight I'm thinking of the song Night and Day and how I think of him all the time, day and night - night and day at home and at the lake well is it all the time..no it's not, but it is underlying what I say and do - do I laugh, well yes I do I laughed really hard today at something.. wish I could remember so I could laugh again.
O.K. I'll think of the many many laughs I had with Mac, how subtle some times his jokes were, and how so many of them were on me.. or funny things our sweet grandkids said and did.
Tomorrow, Sunday, Thanksgiving day, I will read the book mark that I used to read to him at breakfast - when he felt he was not doing well..I'd say
You are Special Mac..I can't stop thanking God for you. (Ephesians 1 16
Somehow saying that made him really laugh, but it is so true, because for sure, I do thank God for him. and so g'nite
Friday 2 October 2015
Friday, October 2,2015 Surprize.....
I am finally getting into movies again. While looking after and being with Mac all those years..movies did not make sense to him, we rarely even watched t.v. Music was IT, and in all forms...so now it's my time - I guess. I have been to one movie, and have now watched two movies at home. So a couple of nights ago decided ok. time to see what Mac taped on VCR In his day he taped so many movies on VCR so when we were moving here, I forget just who, said we might as well throw these out, nobody uses a VCR anymore. BUT, just in case I thought, I'll take a few..I didn't even bother to look at the names. Just threw some of the VCR's into a bag. When we moved here I put them on the shelf in the storage room and forgot about them.
Fast forward to Wednesday, of this past week, around four-thirty...decided to have a look. and there was this label Surprize. Well perhaps I thought, I've seen this before, but it's been at least ten years since Mac looked at movies or taped any, so I certainly didn't remember.
Well how sweet it was. I got so involved there was a tape of beautiful snow falling outside our house in Chateauguay...trees were covered with ice and snow making such a beautiful tapestry of Winter ..the scene then moved to Toronto..again more snow..and surprise, my mom's apartment, my mom and I talking to each other, in sign language of course. Mac took me through the halls and the stairs and out the door...the next scenes were wonderful he had put various Christmas tapings, Halloween, and even a tape of my dear friend Jos, talking to us...she has died since then what a treat to see her, and to see Mac, talking and playing with the grandkids.
But, Now it was getting to be quite hard and as my tears started to fall, decided to take a break, wow, six thirty, just in time. The exact time I was being picked up by a friend to attend a grieving group..how appropriate..as I surely was grieving but in a rather amazing way.
I could only say Thanks Mac - what a lovely Surprize (that's how he spelled the word)
These are the words that ended our grieving session that night:-
I give you this one thought to keep...
I am with you still ...I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not think of me as gone
I am with you still - in each new dawn...
A native prayer. thanks Mac and g'nite.
Fast forward to Wednesday, of this past week, around four-thirty...decided to have a look. and there was this label Surprize. Well perhaps I thought, I've seen this before, but it's been at least ten years since Mac looked at movies or taped any, so I certainly didn't remember.
Well how sweet it was. I got so involved there was a tape of beautiful snow falling outside our house in Chateauguay...trees were covered with ice and snow making such a beautiful tapestry of Winter ..the scene then moved to Toronto..again more snow..and surprise, my mom's apartment, my mom and I talking to each other, in sign language of course. Mac took me through the halls and the stairs and out the door...the next scenes were wonderful he had put various Christmas tapings, Halloween, and even a tape of my dear friend Jos, talking to us...she has died since then what a treat to see her, and to see Mac, talking and playing with the grandkids.
But, Now it was getting to be quite hard and as my tears started to fall, decided to take a break, wow, six thirty, just in time. The exact time I was being picked up by a friend to attend a grieving group..how appropriate..as I surely was grieving but in a rather amazing way.
I could only say Thanks Mac - what a lovely Surprize (that's how he spelled the word)
These are the words that ended our grieving session that night:-
I give you this one thought to keep...
I am with you still ...I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not think of me as gone
I am with you still - in each new dawn...
A native prayer. thanks Mac and g'nite.
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