Mac's favourite expression, "I don't have any money" He always feels that he should pay for his supper, lunch or whatever. My answer is always the same, You paid for the meals, and the apartment when we first moved here, a long time ago, so you don't remember. It's o.k. don't worry about it. Well that will last till the next meal, or sometimes not even that long. I used to let him keep his wallet in his pocket, show him his $$$ in the wallet, then go into a little speil about his money, where he has money, how he can see the bank from our window etc etc. Well I've given up on that, it's enough now for him to know that it's all paid for..then he is happy for a time.
Actually the days of trying to show him his bank statement, and his demanding that he see the statements back to when we moved to Lachine, seem to be over, that's a good thing, as it would be a loop that we would go around and around till I was ready to burst a blood vessel. So I am really patient with his minor problems regarding his financial status.
That situation and questions and many others, such as why am I sleeping in this room, where are you going to sleep, whose room is this, why do those people come in this room (re: the preposees to get him ready for bed or up), were almost a mantra every day, but I must say things are getting better (have to watch it here - as we know as soon as I say that the situation goes back). I'm slowly getting both him and myself used to this way of living...I have moved some pictures down to his room, not that he notices, but it makes the room cozy. His radio is on constantly, when we are there of course, music which he and I enjoy.
But, I'm still the one getting him in his night clothes, as he trusts me and I'm gentle with washing him (as a bird bath is all he will take) that .. The only problem now is that the CLSC answered my plea for a hose with a shower end for the kitchen sink so I could wash his hair - I heard they had a special thingie that could go under his back and head ...well they sent it. It turns out to be a huge blow up plastic sink that looks like a float for a swimming pool with an indent for his neck.
I think it's to wash his hair while he is lying in bed. That is a no no I can just picture the frantic waving of his head and hands and water splashing all over the place. I may try the hair dresser again, which was not too successful...or do it with plastic bags all over the place and water on the floor as I wash his hair in the bathroom - he sitting on a chair..or in the kitchen, it's successful although I'm usually soaking wet and completely frustrated. Anyway, Friday is the day, I'm going to do it..I've made up my mind. So we shall see how that works out.
What I have to remember is that every experience is the first one - or practically every experience, especially uncomfortable ones, and also his understanding of the whys and wherefores are always new to him..so patience is the word..and also remembering, he is the one who is suffering - NOT ME.
In the meantime a sadder note - I was walking along the hall from Mac's room a couple of days ago leaving him in bed (he didn't want to get up) so planned to return later; when I saw the preposees and the nurse wheeling a man out of his room in his bed..I recognized him as one of the more "with it" Alzheimer patients, he would always make sure Mac was able to sit - getting up for him. I'd say, non non, sit down it's o.k. always polite, he spent a lot of time talking to one of the women -Helen, who has the big A. as well. I kind of placed him in a category or level of the big A. before Mac's level. Well what a shock, he was dead. He had died in his sleep.
Apparently another one had also died, so the floor now has 19 patients- including Mac. This has made me upset, I can hardly stand it, I know it will happen, but one reads that the various stages can be long...and I'm always assuming that Mac will be in a long stage, and he well may be..but one never knows.
Tonight he is or was very shaky, and very upset as one line never, never leaves his mind especially not at night and that is "My mother must be worried about me. She must be saying where is he." I tell him - not to worry she knows he is with Jan, and that I will try to get her phone number tomorrow and tell her. After saying that several times, he settled down - took his pill from the male nurse (Bassime)let me give him his eye drops, and drifted off to sleep.
So now it's time for me to drift off - so g'nite
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